What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Chase tells Finn that he’s tired of living his life in the hospital. He’s checking himself out. Finn says, against medical advice. He can’t just leave. Chase says, watch him, and Finn says, his life depends on it. Chase says he wants out of this bed, out of this room, out of this building today. Finn says he knows how Chase feels, but Chase doesn’t think so. He says he’ll show up for treatments whenever Finn wants him to, but he can’t fight this illness there. Not without going crazy. Finn sees Michael and Willow at the door.

Britt and Jason sit in a doctor’s office, and Britt says, this is ridiculous. He says, what is? and she says, them being there. They could get caught. He says they’re not going to get caught, but she says, their fake IDs could get flagged. Hello? He’s a fugitive. It’s not worth it. In fact, it’s the dumbest thing they could do. Come on. She heads for the door, but he grabs her arm, and says, if she’s leaving to protect him, don’t. He isn’t worried. She asks if he even knows how to worry, and he says she’s leaving because she doesn’t want to know what’s going on with her. And that’s her right. Then they should go.

Laura opens the door smiling, but her smile drops when she sees Cyrus. She asks what he wants, and he says, just a little familial catch-up. He hasn’t seen her since that unfortunate dinner at Windymere. Can she fault him for missing his sister? She says she’s not doing this with him, and he says she’ll appreciate what he’s come to tell her. She says, okay, five minutes. And then she calls the police. She lets him in.

Brando comes running into the Deception office, and Sasha asks what he’s doing there. He asks if it’s true. Is she pregnant? She asks who told him, and he says, Cyrus, who apparently heard it from his mother. So is she? She says, look… and he says, they slept together. Ever since, she’s been avoiding him and putting him off, so he’s asking her to tell him the truth. Is she pregnant with his child?

Carly thanks Gladys for coming by on such short notice, and Gladys says Carly didn’t give her much of a choice. Carly says, no, she didn’t, and Gladys asks if Carly is going to tell her what she’s doing there, or does she have to guess. Carly says they have a problem in front of them, and they can solve it two ways. They can go the pleasant route, or the unpleasant route. Which works for her?

Sonny grabs the man near the dumpster, and pushes him up against it, startling Nina. Sonny says, how about that? He comes looking for answers, and what does he find? The thing is, what is Sonny going to do with him? Nina runs over, and says, wait. Sonny asks if the man doesn’t want to get his uniform dirty, and if he likes working there. The man says he had no other option; everything else was closed. Sonny asks how the pay is, and the man says, that depends on what you call decent. Sonny says, a man’s got to do anything he can, right, to earn extra cash. No matter how it comes. The man says he doesn’t know what Sonny is talking about, and Sonny tells him, try and connect the dots. Now why would a guy like him want to hold up the Tan-O? The man says he thinks Sonny has him confused with someone else, but Sonny tells, no I don’t – he points to the man’s nametag – Walter! Now tell him who he is.

Finn lets Willow and Michael into the Chase’s room, and says Chase isn’t listening to him. Maybe they’ll have better luck. Chase says, Finn is the one not listening. Finn asks if Chase thinks he likes this. He hates seeing Chase in the hospital. He hates every second of it. Michael says, maybe there’s a compromise to be had. Chase can come in for treatments, a monitoring system, daily check-ups… Chase says, excellent idea, but Willow says, that won’t work, and Finn says, Chase is in constant danger of relapse. Chase says, hence the check-ins, and Finn says, what if Chase is unconscious on the floor during one of the check-ins? Willow says, what if his check-up is in the morning, and thirty minutes later, he’s home and having a seizure? Finn says Chase has to be patient with them, and Chase says he keeps saying that. Finn says, because that’s the reality right now, and Chase asks if Finn is any closer to finding out what’s wrong with him, but Finn doesn’t say anything. Chase says, that’s what he thought. Finn can’t keep him there like some experiment in a lab; it’s sucking the life out of him. Finn says he’s doing everything in his power to help Chase. If he could trade places with Chase, he would do it in a heartbeat, but he can’t.

Gladys asks what this is, the riddle portion of their visit? Carly says, it’s not a riddle. She gave Gladys two options, pleasant or unpleasant. Gladys says, let’s go with door number one, and Carly says, good option. Gladys wonders why she’s listening to any of this, and Carly says she’s about to give Gladys an offer she’d be an idiot to pass up. Gladys says, such a sweet talker, and sits down. Carly says it’s no secret she wants Gladys out of Port Charles, and out of her life. Gladys says Carly has made that crystal clear, and Carly says, then consider her a fairy godmother of sorts. She sits next to Gladys, and says she’s willing to set Gladys up in Bridgeport in a coffee shop, a store, whatever floats her boat, and Carly will subsidize it. Gladys says she’s not serious, but Carly says she’s very serious. Before Gladys says no, she needs to really think about it.

Britt asks what Jason would do. Would he find out if he had the marker for Huntington’s, or would he just let it be? Jason says, before kids, he wouldn’t want to know. He’d just go on with his life like normal, until one day when he started showing symptoms, and then he’d just deal with it. But now that he’s a dad, he feels he would owe it to his kids to find out. She says, because he could pass it on to them, and he says, yeah. He could monitor himself, and when he started to show symptoms, make his next decision with his kids in mind. She says, pre-children, he could handle the not knowing? Every time his hand shook a little, and he wondered, is it or isn’t it. he could handle it? He says he thinks he could, but she says she doesn’t know if she can.

Cyrus settles himself on Laura’s couch, and she asks if he’s waiting for her to offer him coffee or tea. He says he’d be waiting a long time, and she says, yeah, it’s not going to happen. He says, at least she’s consistent in her rejection, and she asks if he was expecting something different. He says, no, not anymore, and she asks why he’s there. He says, it was a painful lesson, but if that evening at Windymere taught him anything, it’s that a congenial relationship with her isn’t in the cards. She says, good. Then they’re on the same page. Finally. He asks if she can imagine the hurt he felt, arriving for a family dinner, in good faith, only to learn that neither her nor her son did the same. It was all a ruse to keep him occupied, so Carly Corinthos could make a power play, and step into Sonny’s shoes. He shakes his finger at her, and says, it’s not in his nature to play games. He thought she knew that about him.

Brando closes Sasha’s office door, and says, when he was asked to be Dev’s father, you know what popped into his head? He’s not a dad. He knew that because he was always careful. He never wanted to bring a kid into this world, and not do right by him or her. When they were together, he wasn’t thinking about anything except them, because she’s incredible. For a million and one different reasons, but if she’s pregnant with his child, he needs her to tell him. Please. He needs to know. She says, yes. The baby is his.

Laura says, clearly, Cyrus craves something he’s incapable of attaining – to be welcomed into her family. All she has to do is look at her unconscious daughter to know what family means to him. He says he hates what happened to Lulu, and she says, that might be true, but she also knows he’s responsible. So he’ll never know the love she shares with her children. He tells her, so she’s said, over and over. Congratulations. She’ll never have to say it again.

Sonny tells Walter, this is how it’s going to work out, and Nina says Sonny doesn’t have to do this. Sonny says he wants Walter to take out his phone, and save this number. Sonny gives him a 555 number, and says, let him see. He looks at Walter’s phone, and says, okay. He’s got it right. The next time Walter gets in trouble or needs cash, call him, and Sonny will help him out. Nina smiles.

Britt tells Jason, ever since her mom told her Faison had the disease, and it could be passed down, she’s been living in a prison of fear. She went to get tested once, in the beginning, but she walked in and walked right out. He says, she wasn’t ready, and she says she couldn’t stand to know. She tried put it behind her, and focus on anything and everything else. It worked for a while, but the fear crept back in until it took over her life. She worked at trying to push it away and not think about it, until it became all she did. She knows it will just get worse until her life is one big, tangled ball of uncertainty. Jason asks if she wants to know, and she says, it makes sense, doesn’t it? If she finds out she doesn’t have Huntington’s, then she’s free. Jason says, if it is? and she says, that would be really awful, but at least she could come up with a plan.

Carly says, Gladys gets to go home to Connecticut, and have a nice, comfortable life, one she could never have before because she couldn’t afford it. Think about it. No more worrying about bills, or whining about her car, no more waiting tables to make ends meet. Gladys would be in control, and have a nice, functioning business of her choosing. Hell, if Gladys stumbled on a house she liked, Carly would co-sign the mortgage, within reason. Gladys says, but only if she gets out of Dodge, and Carly says, exactly. Gladys says, no. She’s not going anywhere. Her son is there, Brando, her pride and joy, and she’s got friends there. Carly says, like Cyrus Renault? and Gladys says, among others. You’re not running me out of Port Charles, Miss High and Mighty. Carly says, okay, and Gladys says, okay? Carly says, what she’s hearing is Gladys is turning down her offer, which is okay. It just means they do it the unpleasant way.   

Sasha says, big news, huh? and Brando says, kind of the biggest. He doesn’t want to tell her what to do, or shove himself in her business, but at the same time, he’d like to support her. He’d be really happy to have a place in his kid’s life. She says, she was blindsided. Just like him, she was thinking about nothing but them that night. She should have been more careful. He says, they both should have. She says she knows she told him that she was on birth control, and she was, but she hadn’t been consistent, and she knew that. She doesn’t know how it’s going to play out, but she gets what he’s saying about wanting to be involved, and she’s totally open to that. He thanks her, and says, even though it’s the last thing he expected, he’s glad it happened.

Chase apologizes, and says he knows how hard Finn is working. He didn’t mean to lash out. it’s not Finn’s fault he’s sick. He’s going crazy and doesn’t know how long he can take it. Finn says, as long as it takes, and Chase says, easy for Finn to say, and Finn says, none of this is easy, but it’s the way it has to be. Chase says he has options, and Finn says, those options will get him killed. Chase says, well, and shrugs, and Willow says, don’t say that. Finn doesn’t know why Chase would take the risk of having a seizure, or falling and cracking his head, and Chase says, because living like this isn’t living. Why can’t Finn see that? Finn says he’s doing everything he can. He can’t let Chase go home alone. Michael says, what if Chase comes home with him?

Finn says he can’t let Michael do that, but Michael says he offered. It’s not like they don’t have the space. Even with everyone who’s staying there, they have ten empty bedrooms, and a full staff of housekeepers. Chase can have his privacy, and still have someone check in on him. And his grandmother is a doctor. Finn says, one of the best, and Michael says, plus, they have some awesome neighbors. Right down the driveway, there’s a mom and her little boy. Willow says, he’s really cute. Chase might like him. Michael says, it’s a win-win. Willow won’t be terrified for him, and they can see each other whenever they want. What does he say? Chase smiles.

Gladys says Carly is confusing herself with Sonny. She admits she was afraid of her cousin, but she’s not afraid of his greedy grasping wife. Even if Sonny was still there, it wouldn’t matter. She’s friends with someone just as powerful; if not more so. Carly says she’s Cyrus worshiping again, and Gladys says, Cyrus likes her. He respects her, and views her as someone he can do business with. Carly says, business; is that what they’re calling it? Gladys says, and he likes her son. Cyrus gave Brando a job when they kicked him to the curb. Carly asks if Gladys loves her son, and Gladys tells Carly, don’t dare question her love for Brando. Carly says she’ll take that as a yes, and Gladys says, of course (🍷) she loves him. Carly sincerely hopes she does, because she’s three breaths away from getting Brando killed.   

Sonny says, if Walter ever finds himself in a jam, or the friend comes back who sent him to the Tan-O… What was his name? Walter tells Sonny, he didn’t say, and Nina takes out her phone. She shows Water a picture of Eli, and says, is this him? Walter says, that’s the guy, and Sonny says, if he comes sniffing around, wanting a favor, it’s better that Sonny handle him than Walter. Walter says, okay, and Sonny says he’s glad he ran into Walter. Remember what he said, and everything will work out fine. Now go back to work. Walter leaves, and Nina looks at Sonny. He says, what? and she says, nothing. She’s just so impressed. Next time Elijah calls Walter for his dirty work… Sonny says, Walter will come straight to him. She says, brilliant. He’s brilliant. They high-five, and Sonny holds on to Nina’s hand.

The doctor introduces himself to Britt and Jason as Dr. Gannon, and asks Jason to wait outside while he talks to Jason’s wife. Britt says, she’d like her husband to stay if that’s okay, and the doctor says, of course (🍷). They all sit, and the doctor asks, what’s going on? Britt says she’s been having tremors in her right hand, and pain. He asks when the tremors started, and she says, about five months ago. They were erratic, but have started happening more frequently. He asks if she has any underlying medical conditions, and she says, possibly. Her father had Huntington’s Disease. Up until now, she’s elected not to get tested. He says, so she doesn’t know if she has the marker? She says, no, and he asks if she wants to know. She says, that is the question of the day.

Chase can’t believe Michael is going to let him move in, and Michael says, why not? Chase asks if Michael is sure everyone will be okay with it, and Michael says, the only person whose opinion matters is his grandmother, and given the circumstances, he’s sure she’d agree this is the best option. She’s letting Valentin live there while they’re waiting for Brook’s baby to be born, so Chase is a major step up. Chase says, okay, but he doesn’t want to go against medical advice. He needs to check with his doctor. Finn says, Chase was prepared to leave a minute ago, but Chase says, things change. Finn says, if Monica is willing to sign off on it, so is he. Michael says he’ll call her now, and Finn suggests they use his office; he wants to talk to Monica himself. They leave, and Chase tells Willow, Michael stepping up like that after what happened, he’s truly one of the good ones. She says, Michael is remarkable.

Dr. Gannon suggests they start with the actual thing Britt has. They’ll run a battery of tests on her hand, and see what comes up. Then she can decide if she wants a test for Huntington’s. Is that good? She nods, and he asks her to come with him. She looks at Jason, and he says, it’s okay. He’ll be there.  

Carly suggests she and Gladys review who Gladys has gotten into bed with since she got there. Cyrus Renault is a drug pushing murderer. Gladys says, like Sonny never killed anyone. At least Cyrus values her opinion. Carly says Cyrus is using her; it’s clear as day. He winds her up with a compliment or a glass of wine, and off she goes, regurgitating anything he wants her to say. Gladys says, that’s not true, and Carly says, he’s a despicable human being, who, when he doesn’t get what he wants, resorts to blackmail. Gladys says he’s not blackmailing her, and Carly says, because he prefers to do that to her son. Does she really think Brando is working for Cyrus because he wants to? Brando is so far under Cyrus’s thumb, he’s basically a hostage because Gladys told Cyrus about Dev. That’s how he works. Cyrus doesn’t trust her with his secrets. He thinks he has leverage over her. Cyrus doesn’t trust anyone.

Sasha puts Brando’s hands on her stomach, and he says he guesses they have some things to figure out, and she guesses they do. First on the list, they need to decide how to protect him from Cyrus. He says, screw Cyrus. Cyrus sent him there to sniff out the father. She says, then he already suspects it’s Brando, but Brando says he’s done with Cyrus’s bullying and threats. He’s going to quit his job, and let the chips fall. Does she think he’s crazy? She says, no, but she wants him to take a breath, hear her out, and then let her know what he thinks.

Cyrus tells Laura, things are about to change, and she asks, how? He says she’s made it clear she wants no familial relationship between them, so her children no longer get his protection. Laura says, is that what he did for Lulu? And he says he’s referring to Nikolas. He’ll deal with Nikolas’s interference the same way he would a stranger who gets in his way. She asks if he’s threatening her, and he says, no; it’s a promise. If Nikolas continues with his plan to privatize Pentenville, he’ll have no choice, but to stop him. He starts to leave, and turns when he gets to the door, telling her, be careful what you wish for. She didn’t want him as a brother. Now she has him as an enemy

Gladys tells Carly, stop trying to scare her, and Carly says she should be scared. Her lie is going to fall apart. Gladys says, what lie? and Carly asks if Gladys is kidding her. Jason didn’t kill Franco. Gladys says she saw him… and Carly says she saw what she was paid to see, but when the truth comes out, and Jason goes free – because he will– she won’t just be left holding the bag, she’ll be facing perjury charges. What does she think happens in Cyrus’s world when someone goes from being an asset to a liability? He’ll kill her without a second thought. Not to mention he has a really good reason to kill her kid. Gladys says Carly is just jealous because Cyrus is good to her boy, but Carly says, not for long. She has one name – Sasha Gilmore.

Sasha says she was in a really messed up place when she met Cyrus. They were about to have a flat out transactional relationship; sex for drugs. Knowing that about herself, that she could stoop that low, was horrible, but it wasn’t going to stop her. She would have slept with Cyrus that night, and hated herself for it, and it would probably have killed her int the end. He says, the heart attack saved her life, and she says, so did the guy who brought her to the hospital. That’s how she sees it. A tragic fate that she narrowly avoided. In Cyrus’s view, she was the perfect trophy. She was his property. Does Brando think Cyrus would be willing to let that go, to share it, to allow it to have its own choices? He says, no; she’s right. Cyrus thinks she’s his property. She says, when he finds out young, strong, sexy Brando knocked her up when he couldn’t even get her into bed, what does he think Cyrus will do? Be honest. He says Cyrus is going to try and take him out. Her phone rings, and she says, Cyrus is there to see her? Send him in.  

Willow sees Michael in the hallway, and he says Monica is on board, like he thought she would be. She offered to speak to housekeeping about a late night check-in. Willow doesn’t know what to say. Chase would have lived alone. Michael says, he knows, and she says, this is obviously what’s best, and she’s so grateful, but it’s going to be hard. Everyone at the house will think she and Chase are together. Michael says they can handle it, and Willow says she’s glad one of them is confident. He says, sometimes the right thing to do is hard. Apparently, Michael memorizes fortunes from cookies. He says, and this is the right thing to do. Chase is a major important piece in her life, and he’s Michael’s friend. Willow says, what he did tipped the scales in the custody hearing. Without him, they might not have Wiley. He says, Chase made a huge sacrifice. Now it’s their turn.

Nina says Sonny scared her for a minute. She thought he was going to hurt the guy. He asks why she’d think that, and she says, it would be completely understandable that he’d be angry that the guy tried to rob Phyllis and Lenny. He says, someone has to be down on their luck to pull a gun on a stranger, especially one that hasn’t done anything to them. Eli is bad people, but most people are just desperate. Nina says, bad situations make for bad choices, and he says, if the hiker hadn’t found him in the woods and taken him to the clinic, he would have never met Phyllis, which led to her taking him in… She says, he could have ended up like Walter. He says, it’s possible. It’s best Walter knows he can turn to somebody. Nina says she couldn’t agree more.

Britt comes back, and Jason asks how it went. She said they did an x-ray, an MRI, and some other medical term where they take a small needle and use a light current to test the nerves. What’s ridiculous is, she could have ordered the tests herself, but if it led to where she was scared of it leading… He says she didn’t want anyone at GH to know, and she says, most of all, Cyrus. Jason asks where the tests led, and she says she has postural tremors. He asks what that means, and she says she’s stressed, and needs to take better care of herself. Jason says she has a reason for the tremors. That’s got to be a relief. Britt says, yes and no.

Finn tells Chase that he spoke to Monica at length, and she’s on board. Chase wonders if he’s making a mistake, imposing on the family like this, but Finn doesn’t think Michael would have offered if they couldn’t handle it. Monica helped Finn, and he selfishly feels better knowing there’s a doctor in the house in case anything goes wrong. Chase says, typical. Finn making it all about himself. Finn says, it’s a good compromise. He’ll find a cure, Chase has someone to monitor him in case he needs it, and he’ll get time with Willow outside of the hospital. Chase says he can’t get Willow alone soon enough. 

Michael says, it won’t be forever, and Willow says, when Chase is well and strong, they’ll tell him the truth. He says, now is not the time. They need to treat their friend with kindness and dignity. She says, Chase is lucky to have him, and he tells her not to nominate him for sainthood yet. It’s just one room in a huge house; it’s the least he can do. Willow says, as hard as it is, it couldn’t be so much harder if she weren’t going through it with him. They join hands briefly, and Willow leaves.

Laura leaves a message for Nikolas, saying, she just had a visit with Cyrus. She needs to see him as soon as possible.  

Carly tells Gladys, Sasha was in a bad place. Cyrus was hitting on her big time; a young, flashy, trophy. He got Sasha hooked on drugs, and she OD’d. (Okay, I just have to say it. Is Carly just making this up as she goes along? Is everyone? We saw none of this along the way, except for him giving her drugs once.) Gladys says, that’s not Cyrus’s fault, and Carly says, no, but does she know what Cyrus’s solution was when Sasha collapsed? For Brando to get rid of the body; just get rid of the problem altogether. Her son couldn’t do that, so he saved Sasha’s life. Gladys says, that’s her boy, and Carly says, yeah. Sasha is pregnant, and Brando is the father. How does Gladys think Cyrus is going to react? Not so well. So the only person who can save Gladys and her son is Carly.

Brando asks Sasha if he should go out the back, but she says, no. It’s better for Cyrus to see him, and they can confront things head-on. Cyrus knocks at the door, and she opens it. She says, perfect timing. They have a lot to discuss.

Nina asks if Sonny has ever given much thought to before; how people’s earlier choices restrict their later ones. He asks what she means, and she says, people get caught up in the quest for power, drive to succeed, and their need to protect what’s theirs. They talk themselves out of kinder impulse they’d have in situations. He says, he sees it. It’s kind of weird. He doesn’t know who he was before, but maybe it’s better not to know. There’s something liberating about the idea. He feels free to help Lenny and Phyllis. He doesn’t have to think he needs to beat the hell out of someone, and can look from their perspective. She says, there are no outside forces, and no personal history forcing him to react a certain way. He’s free. He says, maybe what happened was a blessing in disguise. Not that he wanted it. It’s not what he would have chosen, to have no money and no memory, but he doesn’t regret it for one second.

Britt tells Jason, yes, this obviously means the possibility she doesn’t have Huntington’s is still out there, but so is the fear, and it’s just as real. Does he see how paralyzing this is for her? She double-thinks everything in terms of if she has the disease or not. Jason said if he had no kids, he wouldn’t want to know, right? He says, they’re two totally different people with totally different lives, and she says, she knows, but it’s important to her to understand why he wouldn’t want to know. Jason says he doesn’t make decisions based on what ifs. He’s actually bad at what ifs. He doesn’t know. If his kids weren’t in the equation, he thinks he’d just want to live as long as he could, and as fully as he could. Then whatever happens to him, happens to him, but he’s not everybody. She wishes she was like that, and Jason says, if not knowing is suffocating her, she should know. Dr. Gannon comes back, and asks if she’s made a decision. Britt says she’d like to get tested for Huntington’s.    

Tomorrow, Laura asks if that’s the only reason Nikolas wants to buy the prison, TJ visits Shawn, Sasha tells Cyrus that she’s saving the best for last, and Carly says the only one who can save Gladys and her son is her.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion – Part One

The set was super cool, with all kinds of boardwalk games to represent the Jersey Shore. Although I’m not sure if Andy had RHONJ confused with the show Jersey Shore, since this group’s idea of the Shore is Tom’s River, which ain’t exactly boardwalk territory. Everyone went with a white/silver color scheme, and as always, amazing earrings. My favorite dress was Melissa’s, which was very princessy with a silver lace overlay. They talked about their kids, but it didn’t take long before the arguing started. Jennifer whined that Marge looked down on her being a stay-at-home mom, but Marge countered that she had been a stay-at-home mom, and that wasn’t the issue. She said Jen had married to a plastic surgeon prominently displayed on her social media bio. Jennifer said it was a fact, and Teresa said Bill was a doctor, and it was something to be proud of. She added that Marge wouldn’t be saying married to a plumber on her social, but I’m not sure why that wouldn’t also be an asset, since they make a small fortune. Not to mention, look at all the construction work Marge gets done for free. I wish I was married to a plumber. Marge told Teresa that wasn’t nice, like Teresa cares. Jennifer was still not speaking to her mom, which she thought was for the best. Her mother wanted an apology for her taking in her dad, and it wasn’t going to happen, since she’d done nothing wrong there. I don’t blame her on that one. Melissa said Jennifer constantly threw her mother under the bus, and they all talked at once, which meant I could hear nothing. Jackie agreed with Melissa, which somehow prompted Teresa to bring up the analogy. Apparently, Andy wasn’t ready to discuss that yet, and told them that they weren’t talking about that right now. Jennifer said her mom was always starting arguments about the past, and Andy mentioned emotional neglect was also abuse. Jennifer said her mother wanted the whole family to punish her father. Viewer Jodi from Milwaukee thought Jennifer jealous of Melissa, and Melissa said Jennifer constantly talked about her and Joe #2 in the confessional. Jennifer said Marge told her off-camera that she and Joe #3 knew that Joe #2 didn’t pay people. Marge called Jennifer, the biggest sh*t starter known to man, and told her, if she’d said that, it would have been on the show. I can’t say I don’t agree. And if they hadn’t used it, it would have been shown right then. I don’t think she said it. I don’t dislike Jennifer, but I think she’s highly insecure, and afraid she won’t have enough storyline to keep her job.

Joe #2 came out, and we flashed back to idiotic things he said this season. Melissa said they were both jealous people, and had been joined at the hip for the first half of their marriage. Joe said fame was a devil that made you forget who you are, and Marge said Melissa had to take advantage of her time to shine. Joe’s comment about Delores being a broken woman was brought up, but Delores had the perfect response. She said when someone called her something that she knew she wasn’t, she didn’t get mad. I totally hear her on this. I’m the same way, and my response is usually to laugh. Melissa and Joe agreed they were in a good place now. We revisited Teresa and Joe #2’s father’s memorial, and Teresa said it had been one thing after another. Joe had gone to jail, she went to jail, she lost her mom, and then her dad. She wanted a break, and Andy said he thought the break was Louie. Teresa said she’d met Louie on the same street where she’d asked her parents to send her a great guy. Sounds like a keeper. For now. We went back over the fight that started with Joe #2 talking smack about Joe #1, and Teresa saying Juicy Joe was a classy guy. That was even hard to type. Joe #2 said their parents had held in their dislike for Joe #1 because of the kids. When Teresa went to prison, all of them went to prison too. Teresa said her kids saw the things her brother said, and Andy showed a clip from Watch What Happens Live, where Gia talked about how it bothered her. Joe #2 said he had held it in for years, but it was a reality show and that was real life. Agreed. Andy brought up Joe #1 having told the press that Joe #2 stole from his parents and never helped them, and never visited his mother in the hospital. I find all that a little hard to believe. Somehow, this turned into something about Jackie, Teresa, and the… oh never mind. At this point, Joe #2 was dismissed.

A viewer asked about Marge’s hair evolution, since she seemed to have ditched her pigtails. She said she still wore them (I do remember seeing her in them this season), but she often felt like she was in a theme or costume where they didn’t apply. Jennifer asked if Joe #3 wasn’t submissive to Marge, basically just to start sh*t. Apparently, Jennifer had also been slut-shaming Marge on Twitter, and said Marge had slept her way to the top. Marge’s response was, at least I’m at the top, you only slept your way to Paramus, and I literally lol’d. Jennifer said Marge was the cause of the rumor, and that Teresa would back her on that. Marge said it was going to go down very bad.

Next time – Part Two – the husbands join the group, and a dead horse is beaten – i.e. the analogy,

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Along with Kathy Hilton as a friend, added to the cast this season were new Wife Crystal Minkoff and Sutton, who finally got her diamond. It was just after quarantine, and in Erika’s interview, she said she’d been on a roll. She was on the New York Times Best Seller list, a best-selling author, and two weeks short of ending her run in Chicago on Broadway, when it all came to a screeching halt. And she didn’t want to make sourdough. It sounded like most of the women hadn’t talked to each other much, although PK and Dorit had gone to Mexico with Mauricio and Kyle. Kyle was surprised Garcelle had unfollowed her after she’d accused Garcelle being a deadbeat with a charity auction win. Garcelle, Sutton, and Garcelle’s friend Sheree (no, not that Sheree) drank some kind of health concoction, but then chased it with Fireball. In Garcelle’s interview, she said she and Sutton had become friends. Sutton was fun, a little odd, and a little kooky, but she liked it. Sutton said she’d tried texting Denise, but gotten no response. She didn’t understand why they all couldn’t get along.

LisaR, Dorit, and Erika visited Kyle, who’d broken her nose, and got a nose job along with the fix. Dorit wanted to get dolled up, and have a barbecue or cocktails for the ladies, outside at her house. Dorit’s said the year had been easy on them. Sutton had sold her house, but her new house needed a facelift, so she was renting Kyle’s old house to the tune of $25K a month, which Kyle called the friends and family discount. I wondered what the full price was. Kyle came for a visit, and we flashed back over Kyle’s memories of the house. In her interview, she said it made her feel sad to see how different it was.

Garcelle met with LisaR, who she said she didn’t like right now. LisaR said she cared about Garcelle, and always had. She’d taken some time to self-reflect, and her intentions hadn’t been to hurt Garcelle. She apologized, saying she’d been hurt, and wanted to hurt Garcelle. She admitted to being harder on Denise than she’d needed to be, and had rather she’d stood by her friend. She’d 100% f***ed up. In Garcelle’s interview, she thought LisaR was trying to own it quickly, so Garcelle didn’t come for her. Garcelle asked why LisaR couldn’t have just been there for Denise, and let the others come for her. (Two words: screen time.) LisaR said she couldn’t, and Garcelle asked, why? Was it that LisaR had to be right? LisaR said no one cared about Brandi, or what she and Denise had done, but Garcelle said it hadn’t seemed that way. LisaR said she’d thought she and Denise’s friendship had been deeper than Denise and Brandi’s. So… What does that mean? LisaR was jealous? Garcelle asked how she could trust LisaR not to do the same to her. LisaR said she’d been protective of Denise, and Garcelle said if that was how LisaR protected her friends, no thanks. LisaR admitted being a c-word, and Garcelle said, even though that wasn’t a word she liked, she couldn’t disagree. Ditto. LisaR wanted to move on, and Garcelle said she was open, but treading lightly.

In Erika’s interview, she said she’d never taken her success for granted, but quarantine taught her how, on a dime, the world can change. She’d lost her job, and Tom told he that she wasn’t good at being still. She said there was only so much she could clean up and organize. Dorit visited Garcelle, who had an awesome fish tank, that was huge, round, and narrow, and had two small fish in it. Garcelle showed Dorit her office, and said she’d gotten her dream job as co-host on The Real. She had an inversion table in the bedroom, and Dorit asked if it was for sex, but Garcelle said, just her lower back; it didn’t vibrate or do anything else. On their way to visit Crystal, who was also a friend of Kathy’s, Kyle told LisaR that she was going to have lunch with Garcelle, and LisaR said she felt good about the dinner they’d had. Garcelle told Dorit that she didn’t know if she could trust LisaR, and Dorit said it took a while for her to get it back after she and LisaR started off on the wrong foot. We flashed back to the dinner where LisaR asked if Dorit did coke in the bathroom at parties. Garcelle asked if Dorit trusted LisaR now, and Dorit said she did, but there was a long pause first. It didn’t go unnoticed by Garcelle who asked why Dorit had hesitated. We never quite got the answer to this.

LisaR and Kyle met Crystal’s husband Rob, who’s 25 years older than Crystal. In Kyle’s interview, she said she didn’t think there was anything wrong with an age gap. Look at Erika and Tom. She could see why they were together. I choked on my coffee. Rob had directed the animated Lion King, so there were all kinds of tchotchkes from the film in their library, which were fun to look at. I’m still not sure how you direct a cartoon though.

That evening, the women went to Dorit’s for her glam barbecue. In Dorit’s interview, she said she was glad to be glamming again, and hosting a party. It had been 100 years. They all squealed and air kissed when they saw each other, and I was already annoyed. Dorit toasted to a great rest of this sh*tty year. In Crystal’s interview, she said she felt underdressed. The group dressed very loudly, and she was more conservative. She thought it could be because she saw her older friends dressing young and cringed. I wasn’t 100% positive if she was throwing shade at the group or just making a comment. I’ve told my friends, if they ever catch me dressing age inappropriately, please take me out back and put me out of my misery. Crystal also said that people in Beverly Hills knew one another, and if you didn’t know someone, maybe it was someone you didn’t need to know. Is Crystal a snob? Mauricio and PK made themselves scarce, and in her interview, Erika said, the truth was, none of these women knew how to throw a barbecue. It would have been better if they were on a yacht in the Mediterranean, but they were at Dorit’s in Encino. She’d take it. LisaR invited everyone to Lake Tahoe, and in the creepiest moment, Kathy said in her interview that, as a child, she did pretend dentistry on the neighborhood children. LisaR told Dorit that she and Garcelle had a great, really good dinner, and she thought they’d be okay. Garcelle told Sutton that she was open to growing and figuring things out with LisaR, but Sutton said she thought LisaR believed they were all good. In Garcelle’s interview, she said it took more than one drink to fix a friendship. Sutton told her if there was dishonesty in how she felt, she should go back and revisit the conversation, so there were no splinters. Garcelle said, there were going to be splinters regardless. LisaR told Dorit she wanted to be better not bitter, and Dorit acted like that was the most clever thing she’d ever heard. Yeah. LisaR is really good with the little sayings, but she’s still an a-hole.

Everybody kept saying how long it had been. LisaR wanted to know everyone’s best moment and hardest moment of quarantine. Sutton said stayed in bed for 2 months, and Kyle said the unknown was the worst for her anxiety, but she loved having the kids at home. Crystal said they never would have had this kind of time, and Garcelle said when she didn’t have her kids, she was lonely. Erika said it was a very dark time for her. In her interview, she said she was always busy, but when she came home from NYC, it was really silent. She was walking the halls and not sleeping, and feeling incredible dread. She’d thought seeing a psychiatrist was a sign of defeat, but caved. She told the women, she’d started dreading waking up, and ended up seeing a psychiatrist and going on Lexapro. The problems were still there, but her attitude toward them was different. LisaR said she’d had to sit with herself instead of running from herself. Erika said she’d been running too, and in her interview, she said there was so much the women didn’t know about her life and her personal life. The bigger your life is, the bigger your problems are. Wow. If that isn’t conceit, I don’t know what is. Kathy asked if anyone thought about people they could weed out since they didn’t miss them, and Erika said she was down to two, and they were duking it out.

Next time, Garcelle questions Kyle about calling her out, the trip to Lake Tahoe (it’s some house), and Garcelle asks how she can trust LisaR.

🗯 My take on the women. As weird and inappropriate as she is sometimes (hey, she’s Southern and eccentric), I like Sutton, and I love Garcelle. The jury’s still out on Crystal. It’s way too early to tell, and I want to like her, but some of the things she said were iffy. I suppose at this point, I’m indifferent to Kyle. I think she’s tone deaf in a lot of ways, and not especially bright, but obviously Mauricio loves her, so there must be something there. Dorit is Dorit, and Erika, I dunno. I think she has her reasons for being the way she is, but when you’re her age, they’re not excuses. I haven’t liked her much in a while, although her wardrobe still rocks. LisaR is the lowest of the low, that word Garcelle and I don’t like, and, as Judge Milian (People’s Court) says, I wouldn’t believe her if her tongue came notarized.

🕯 Burning It At Both Ends…

Time for tea with a little NYC real estate mixed in tomorrow. For now, stay safe, stay living to the fullest (whatever that means for you), and stay making sure there are no splinters in your relationships.