Category Archives: science fiction

Oct19

October 18, 2015 — A Sword, Some Wolfs & Two Joes

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon A Time

In old Camelot, young Arthur tells young Guinevere that Merlin (who is trapped inside a tree) gave him a prophecy that he would pull a sword from a stone and they would become king and queen.  Fast forward to Arthur as an adult. When he takes the sword from the stone, the bottom of it is gone, taken to make Dark Emma’s dagger. Arthur hides it in a sheath when he returns to the people, acting like nothing is wrong.  Arthur tells David he can re-forge the sword so that it will again be able to defeat the powers of darkness.

Rumpelstiltskin tells Emma since she’s the savior, she needs to save herself before it’s too late. Good point.

David wants to take the dagger and use it to put the sword back together. Snow doesn’t trust Arthur, and even though David thinks it will save Emma, she wants to wait. David approaches Arthur and tells him Lancelot is alive. Guinevere overhears and tells David he doesn’t know the whole story of her and Lance. David goes into his bag to get the dagger, but it’s gone.

In old Camelot, it’s Guinevere’s birthday party. Arthur is late and Lancelot dances with the queen. Guinevere has taken a magic gauntlet that she believes will help find the missing piece of the sword. Lancelot joins her in the quest and the gauntlet leads them to a weird circle that looks like a giant sewer cap with mystical symbols on it. When it opens, there’s a staircase to a place that looks kind of like a mine. All kinds of black crazy stuff comes out of nowhere and surrounds Lancelot. Guinevere makes it go away and they kiss. She says it won’t happen again, but I dunno about that.

Henry takes Emma and Hook to a stable where he wants to show them something, but they’re interrupted by Henry’s crush, Violet. Emma and Hook hide, and Henry and Violet go riding.

Lance and Gwen come to a forest where the dagger is on display. When they try to take it, they’re thrown back and Rumpel appears.  Rumpel offers them a compromise – a pinch of enchanted sand will fix the sword without the dagger. He asks for the gauntlet in exchange for a vial of it. He tells Gwen that when a woman’s heart is torn between duty and desire, it never ends well. She agrees to the exchange, and he adds that she needs to worry about a broken heart more than a broken sword.

Lance and Snow go underground and on to the forest. Snow says she’s seen this place in a vision before, and Dark Emma crushed her heart there. Arthur has followed them. He’s led David on a wild goose chase to look for Snow, and says that if Snow knows what’s good for her, she’ll hand over the dagger.

Gwen gets back to Camelot and tells Arthur about the sand that will make something broken seem whole again. Maybe she should use it on their relationship. He still wants the dagger, but she tells him that if he doesn’t get with the program, she’s leaving him for Lance. Bizarrely, Arthur takes my advice and throws some of the sand at Gwen. It makes her cool with Arthur going on his quest for the dagger, and he tosses a load of the sand out of the tower window and over the kingdom.

Arthur says he’ll kill Lance if Snow doesn’t give him the dagger and she hands it over. He says he can now command Dark Emma to put the sword back together and free Merlin. He orders her to appear and nothing happens. Snow tells him the dagger isn’t real and voila! here’s David. He says he knew something was up with Arthur who “tried to trick [him] with a catchy title and a comfy chair.” (Another Monty Python reference.)

Hook tells Emma to quit talking to Rumpel in her head and get on the horse. They ride off, but Emma is still seeing Rumpel watching them.

Arthur looks like someone took his last piece of Halloween candy, and Snow thinks he’s unusually quiet. That’s because Gwen and a whole lot of knights show up to set him free. Gwen, still under the sand’s spell, tells the knights to take Lance to the dungeon, and uses the last of the sand on Snow and David. Meanwhile, Merida from Brave shows up at Lance’s cell.

Snow and David tell Regina to bring the dagger out of hiding and give it to Arthur, as it’s their best chance to help Emma. Emma and Hook frolic in the forest, and Rumpel is nowhere to be seen, even by Emma. Nice crane shot of Hook and Emma embracing in a field of roses.

Dark Emma has Mr. Gold (Storybrook Rumpel) held prisoner. She also has Merida handcuffed to a Volkswagen. (Didn’t seem all that weird up until now, right?) Dark Emma steals Merida’s heart and tells her to take her bow and make Mr. Gold the brave guy she needs.

The Walking Dead

We begin by seeing how Enid got to Alexandra. We see her in a car, writing “JSS” on the window; escaping to a forest, where she writes “JSS” in the dirt; and then eating a turtle. I’m not kidding, I’m watching her eat a turtle right now. She makes another “JSS” out of its bones. She gets to the gate at Alexandria, writes it in the dirt on the back of her hand, someone opens the gate, and she enters. Okay, I give up already. (BTW, no turtles were harmed in the making of this episode – it didn’t just taste like chicken, it was chicken.)

Maggie wants Deanna to help plant a garden in the safe zone and finish the wall. Eugene and Tara meet the new doctor, Denise, who is really a psychiatrist and scared out of her wits. Tara says she’s been feeling dizzy, so Denise takes a look at her for an easy start to her new profession.

Carl (where’s he been?) is pushing baby Judith in a stroller. Father Gabriel interrupts his walk, telling him that he was wrong and wants to learn how to fight the zombies. Carl tells him to come by later and they’ll start with the machete.

Carol is busy cooking, and probably cooking something up in her head, when she sees Shelly having a smoke out on the lawn. Suddenly, a guy comes out of nowhere and kills Shelly with a machete. Is Carl prophetic? Maggie and Deanna see that part of the wall is on fire and someone is climbing over it to the outside. They come across a body that’s been set on fire. A load of crazies start to wreak havoc, chopping people up and writing “W” (for Wolf) on their foreheads in the blood. I don’t know what’s going on. Civil unrest or something else? A gigantic truck drives right into the church and if that truck horn doesn’t stop in about 5 seconds, I’m going out of my mind and joining the Wolfs. Thank you, Morgan, for poking that zombie in the head who’s leaning on the horn.

Chaos is everywhere in Alexandria. A guy who looks like he’s from Deliverance tries to attack Morgan with an axe, but Carol comes from behind and gets him first. She puts a “W” on her forehead too, and disguises herself as one of them.

Holly has been badly injured, but Denise is afraid to try and operate on her. Eugene tells her she doesn’t want to be a coward. And he oughtta know. Denise bucks up and asks for the supplies she needs. Ron is almost attacked by a Wolf, but Carl shoots him (the guy, not Ron). The guy acts all feeble, but when Carl gets closer, he tries to grab Carl’s gun. Bad move because Carl is a serious badass and finishes him off. A Wolf gets into Jessie’s house and knocks her down, but not out. Jessie stabs the sh*t out of her with a pair of scissors as Ron walks in. If he’s not traumatized for life and beyond by now, he never will be.

A Wolf, who obviously knows Gabriel, tries to kill him, but Morgan intervenes. Carol gets to the armory and grabs as many weapons as she can. She also finds Lydia hiding in a closet and tells her to arm herself. Just as the dude who knows Gabriel is about to explain things, Carol shoots him in the head. Thanks, Carol, since it might have been a good idea to find out what’s going on.

Some Wolfs surround Morgan and he fends every one of them off with a stick. I’d definitely want him on my team. He seems to understand more than he’s letting on. Certainly more than I do. He tells the remaining Wolf that if he keeps choosing this kind of life, he’ll end up dead, and the Wolf says he has no choice and takes off.

Commercial break. Into the Badlands looks awesome!

Carol sits on the steps, pondering a pack of cigarettes. I’m pondering if we’re ever going to find out what was up with that truckload of top-half zombies from last season. Aaron takes a pack of photos off the body of a Wolf and it looks like pictures of the Alexandria wall.

Holly flatlines. Tara tells Denise she tried, but Denise is pretty dejected. She wants everyone to leave, and Tara tells her not to forget to give Holly mercy. No, wait, that’s the other show. She tells Denise to make sure to stab Holly in the brain.

Now everyone is pondering what the blip just happened.

Enid has left Carl a note that says “just survive somehow.” JSS, which is coincidentally the name of tonight’s episode. Carol’s kitchen timer goes off and Carl takes the brownies out of the oven. Morgan seems to be on clean-up detail, and is finding straggling Wolfs who are now un-dead.  Oh no! Another Deliverance Guy is hiding and attacks Morgan He says “You can’t, can you? You should have.” Whatever that means. Apparently, he’s wrong about it though, and Morgan finishes him off. He does, however, apologize first.

Morgan and Carol pass like ships in the night. The streets are clear and quiet. Geez, Rick can’t leave these people alone for five minutes.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Checks In

Teresa controls the Giudice family from the inside like a mob boss, but Joe is definitely stepping up as Mr. Mom.

Melissa picks up the kids for a girl’s day out, while the two Joes get together for a guy’s day. I don’t know if it’s going to be GTL (gym, tan, laundry), but it’s definitely G.  We see the girls getting mani/pedis, while the guys work out. Melissa tells Gia that if she needs a woman to talk to about anything, she’s there for her. In her individual interview, Melissa says that Gia is most like Teresa. She also says God never gives you more than you can handle. Although sometimes I wonder about that one. Joe and Joe give us TMI about what Joe is doing at night without Teresa. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫

Joe has had his license suspended for two years (this guy is really bad at breaking the law), and this is a real hassle right now. Teresa’s lawyer brings her diary. Teresa wants Joe to read it, and also the girls when they’re old enough. Teresa sounds like a real broad, breaking up prison fights and such. You go, girl! If you can’t beat the system, boss it around.

Teresa’s parents, along with Melissa and Joe Gorga, come by for Teresa’s phone call. I feel badly for her parents, who are probably mortified over this whole thing and no doubt want to throttle their son-in-law. Gia says Teresa actually looks better now.  I understand she’s gotten into yoga, so that’s probably a big factor. After the call, the family sits down to dinner and discusses plans for the 4th of July. Both Melissa and Joe Gorga have applied to be visitors at the prison, but apparently, this is a pretty long process. It’s taken Joe six months, and Melissa has yet to be approved. The thought crosses my mind that maybe Teresa doesn’t want her approved.

Teresa’s lawyer (who is getting a lot of air time) comes by to discuss Joe’s possible deportation. It seems outrageous. He’s lived here for 44 years and his parents are citizens for Pete’s sake.  He does say that Teresa and the girls would go with him should that happen. I know there are plenty of people who are like, good, but IMO, that would be tremendous overkill. The Giudices might be a pair of idiots, but I certainly don’t think they’re evil, and they probably didn’t do anything a million other people haven’t. Their real crime was getting caught.

This show should be subtitled “Teresa Checks In Repeatedly.” She says that there’s more drama in prison than on The Real Housewives. She also had to change up her gym routine because low flying planes kept coming by trying to take her picture. That is seriously crazy.

The family is going “down the shore” for the 4th. The girls go in Melissa’s car and the two Joes go together. Joe Gorga asks Joe Giudice if he thinks about the time when he has to take his turn in prison. He says he just doesn’t think about that stuff because it’s not happening yet. That’s one thing I admire about him and Teresa, their ability to not think about something. I will never have this talent as long as I live.

Gia is an amazingly mature kid. She seems more like a young adult than a moody teenager. Everybody is bugging her about future dating and she’s taking it in stride. Teresa checks in yet again while they’re at the shore house, but she gets cut off because her minutes ran out. A small discussion happens between Joe and the girls about daddy having to “go to work” when mommy gets home. While Gia has said that Milania knows what’s going on, Audriana is too young yet.

Milania makes some coffee for herself, but Joe says that’s a no. Teresa checks in one more time. The girls pass the phone down, each say a little something, and when it gets to Joe, Teresa asks him to take the phone into another room. Because Gia sent out a tweet for her, Teresa’s room got shaken down. They thought she might have a cell phone and they even checked in places that most people can’t put a cell phone. Thug life!

Joe’s gotten pretty good on his bicycle. Who knows? Maybe he’ll get in shape yet. He bikes over to Angelo’s, a restaurant managed by cousin Reno. Some guy, probably another cousin, talks about going to prison himself for running numbers or something. Joe says he had that opportunity, chose not to do it, but is still going to jail. Ah, the little ironies of life. Numbers Guy talks about what it’s like on the inside. He said the hard part for him was after he got out and came home to nothing. Oh Lord. He just said the old adage that whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Then how come I’m not dead or bench pressing 500 pounds? Angelo. The guy’s name is Angelo. I guess he owns the restaurant. You could probably yell, “Hey, Angelo!” in that restaurant and half the heads would turn.

The text at the end tells us that two months later, the shore house was repossessed.

I’m not what you would call a softie, but I feel sorry for this whole family. They ripped off a bank. Banks have been ripping us off for years. I honestly think they’re being made an example of because they’re reality “stars” and it just doesn’t seem right to me. They were certainly stupid, but if stupidity were a crime, we’d all be in the slammer. I hope Teresa makes a million bucks from her book just for spite.

Oct17

October 16, 2015 — Two GHs & a Whole Lotta Zs

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital – Thursday

Hayden had an MRI and fell asleep. I’ve never had one, but it looks like a good place to take a nap to me. Nobody to bother you.

Nathan gets the evening off because of the Carrrlos discovery, and he wants to pamper Maxie. How come she gets all the good ones?

Dante acts stupid toward Dillon, telling him to stay away from Lucy. They’re going to “settle it once and for all,” which makes us think they’re going to duke it out, but I’ll bet they play a round of checkers or something.

Commercial break already. I love those Snickers ads. The horseless headsman is good, but my favorite is Danny Trejo (Machete) and Steve Buscemi  in TheBrady Bunch.

Hayden doesn’t want Nicholas going with her for the MRI results; she wants to be more independent, reminding me of Herby in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Patrick is treating Sam’s sprained ankle, and she doesn’t want to tell him how she did it. I guess not, since she shouldn’t have been lurking around Windermere. It doesn’t take her long to spill that she and “Jake” are trying to find out his real identity, but she doesn’t give Patrick the details. Kissy, kissy on the examining table. Patrick, get back to work! Is Obrecht on vacation? Where has she been? Besides working on that web series.

Maxie tells Nathan about how she pissed off Valerie over the pregnancy test, and adds that Valerie and Dillon are a no. For whatever reason, Nathan thinks Dillon is hung up on Maxie. She says he’s hung up on someone, but not her.

Lucy is in the chapel giving thanks for Dante. When she finds out what really went on, she’ll be taking that thanks back. Dante doesn’t like that Dillon kissed Lucy, but Dillon says it’s no worse than what Dante did with Valerie. Touché! He says at least he has feelings for Lucy and wasn’t using her like Dante did with Valerie. Ouch! all over the place. Dillon lets fly that he knows they did more than kiss.

Nicholas walks in on Lucy, and after insulting him, she tells him that their mother, Laura, isn’t too happy about Hayden staying at Windermere. Lucy wants to know why “Jake” wants to be involved with Hayden after it didn’t work out before, especially since she doesn’t remember anything. He says she’s different now, and to be honest, he doesn’t want her to remember. That’s a first. Nicholas being honest. Lucy says he should keep his eyes open though, just in case Hayden is conning him. As she’s leaving, she tells Nicholas that nothing can bring her down. A sure sign that she’s going to be brought down pretty soon.

Elizabeth brings in Hayden’s MRI results. After apologizing for the upsetting phone call, Hayden asks Elizabeth for help with her memory. Hayden says she just gets flashes, and wonders if she’ll ever fully recover. Patrick says that the MRI doesn’t show much damage and she should have recovered her memory by now. From what I’ve read, people with amnesia usually recover pretty quickly or not at all.

Sam and “Jake” find out the files on Nicholas’s computer are encrypted. I’m not sure why they’d be surprised at that, since he’s always doing secret stuff. Sam says she has a secret weapon and knock-knock, it’s Spinelli! Or rather, The Jackal.  Spinelli says “Jake” resembles Jason. Since Sonny mistook him for Jason, is he supposed to look kind of like Jason? I don’t see it.

Patrick says he’s surprised Hayden hasn’t recovered more. Elizabeth’s eyes dart all around the room, and I laugh. Patrick says it’s dissociative amnesia, caused by trauma. He gives Hayden the name of a shrink who might be able to help. He says hypnotism might be the answer, but Hayden feels weird about that. After Patrick leaves, Elizabeth closes the door to face Hayden and act all badass.

Maxie says Nathan should tell his secret, since she told him about Dillon. Nathan says he loves and trusts her, but occasionally her good intentions get the better of her. Nathan manages to distract her with his hot self.

Dante tells Dillon that he regrets the whole Valerie thing, but he’d thought his marriage was over. This makes him sound even worse IMO, since he just reminded me how quickly he jumped to that conclusion for basically no reason. Instead of being nice about Dillon keeping his secret, no surprise, Dante acts like a jerk. Dillon says that someday Lucy will find out, even if it’s not from him. I think that day is right around the corner.

Spinelli wastes time congratulating Sam on her engagement. Spinelli breaks the code pretty easily, and they start searching for “Jake Doe.” If I were Nicholas, I wouldn’t be putting that kind of info on my computer, but I’m not Nicholas. I’m also expecting Elizabeth to walk in any second because people in Port Charles use a Star Trek transporter to get from place to place.

Dante is following Dillon around now, which probably isn’t the best idea. Lucy arrives at the police station, sees the two of them and wonders what’s up. Dillon says he’ll let Dante do the honors. Dante tells Lucy it was just an altercation about Dillon kissing her and Lucy tells him they have the green light to try for another baby.

Elizabeth says she thinks Hayden is lying about her memory, and asks her outright if she is.

Spinelli gets distracted by a favorite quote, but then finds the email trail they’re looking for.

General Hospital – Friday

Jordan is questioning Anna about Carrrlos, even though she says it’s not an interrogation.

Elizabeth stamps her foot and insists that Hayden remembers everything. Hayden responds by telling her if she wants Elizabeth’s expertise, she’ll ask for a bed pan. Snap! Elizabeth whines about how if the secret Hayden knows gets out, it will ruin her life with “Jake” and Hayden tells her she’s pretty insecure.

Spinelli finds that Nicholas was interested in “Jake’s” DNA around the time “Jake” planted the bomb on the Haunted Star and everyone found out he was working for Helena. There’s no more information other than Nicholas was comparing the DNA to someone else’s. Sam says that The Jackal, the assassin of the internet, will have to hack into the lab’s computer.

Paul says the body has been ID’d as Carrrlos, and that he’s been dead two weeks, which is right around when Duke was killed. What kind of time clock are these people going by? Two weeks? Really? More like two months. As a matter-of-fact , after being in the water this long, he should be nothing but a skeleton. We do get a Carrrlos flashback and I’m hoping for some more later. Actually, I’m hoping Ghost Carrrlos follows Anna around again. Paul tells Anna he doesn’t believe a thing Sloane said, with his fingers crossed behind his back.

Spinelli says it’s unethical to hack into the lab’s computer and he wants to set a good example for his daughter, Georgie. Sam counters by telling him it’s for justice and the greater good.

Both Michael and Tracy give Sabrrrina flowers. Michael gets all pissed at Tracy for talking to Paul. Do he and Morgan have any other emotions? Jordan calls Michael because she has some questions and wants him to come to the station. Good. Go. Sabrrrina apologizes for Michael being a d-bag and Tracy says that what he said passes for cordial in their family. When Sabrrrina doesn’t want to go for a drunk at 10 a.m., Tracy immediately guesses she’s pregnant. Because that’s the only reason a woman wouldn’t want a drink. What is wrong with these people??? Tracy says that being blunt saves a lot of time and I concur.

Sabrrina admits she’s pregnant and Tracy gets all excited about a new Quartermaine heir. She asks if Michael is excited, but Sabrrrina says she hasn’t told him yet. Tracy wants to know what she’s waiting for. Sabrrrina says she’s afraid it won’t be good news for Michael, but Tracy thinks she’s holding back. Sabrrrina says it’s because she lost baby Gabriel, but I think it’s something else.

Jordan asks Michael what he knows about Carrrlos’s murder and Patrick asks Anna to come over for pizza tonight. Anna wants something to help her sleep. She says she dreams about Duke and it’s actually comforting, but then she wakes up and feels even worse than she did before. Patrick gets this because he went through it with Robin, and thinks she should talk to someone. I don’t know if Patrick is getting kickbacks from the shrink, but this is the second time he’s promoted his “colleague” in as many days.

Hayden tells Nicholas she’s sick of Elizabeth, Jake and Sam insisting she knows some secret, and no one can give two flyings about her own sanity. Nicholas makes excuses for Elizabeth and Hayden says she wants to get a job. Does she remember what she can do? She doesn’t.

Spinelli is on board with the hacking plan. We should all know a Spinelli. I love him and wish he was still on the show full time. Spinelli says he’ll have to bring in “bigger guns.” I’m not sure what that means in nerd talk. He explains that he wants to be alone when he does it because it requires a specialized hack.

Michael says the standard “either charge me with something or let me go” and that he’s not answering squat unless his attorney’s there.

Man, I hate those ads that pop up at the bottom of the screen. It’s not bad enough we have to deal with them online. I thought the police station was on fire, since flames were suddenly in the corner.

Tracy tells Sabrrrina that the baby is a new beginning and she needs to let go of Carrrlos. When Tracy leaves, Sabrrrina flashes back to when Carrrlos stayed with her. Oooh, they’re kissing and we never saw that before. I’m right. I just know it.

Patrick asks Elizabeth what’s up with her bugging Hayden. Elizabeth says she thinks Hayden is lying about her memory and she’s afraid “Jake “ will be taken away from her. Patrick astutely suggests that eventually someone will find out who “Jake” really is and it could even be “Jake.”

Since Hayden doesn’t even know what the blip she does, Nicholas hires her to…I don’t know what.

“Jake” gets pissed off all over again at Nicholas and wants to shake him down for answers.

Oooh! Anna is down at the docks (what did I say about those docks?) and she sees Carrrlos.

Why is Sabrrrina even interested in Michael? He comes back and says, is something wrong? She tells him she’s pregnant.

Now Sam and Spinelli are down at the docks. They admit to each other that “Jake” reminds them of Jason. Yeah, there’s a big reason for that. One of my problems is that he doesn’t remind me of Jason. I like him a million times better than I did Jason. Sam and Spinelli reminisce about Jason. Spinelli has a 5 o’clock shadow, but he still looks 14. Sam says she still “feels” Jason and Spinelli suggests he might still be out there somewhere. Yep.

We end with Hayden making a mystery phone call and saying she’s “in.” I assume she means in Nicholas’s company, and “Jake” shows up, telling Nicholas he knows about the DNA test. Which I hope doesn’t screw up Spinelli’s efforts.

Z Nation

Springfield, Illinois. We open with Operation Bite Mark kicking ass and not even taking names. The zombies are way too interested in Murphy’s baby, so he tosses her to Doc, who boards a bus. Unfortunately, it’s filled with zombies who are dressed like Abe Lincoln. (It’s a look-alike festival.) Doc thinks he’s having a flashback.  He manages to escape the bus and Operation Bite Mark turns into Operation John Wilkes Booth.

Murphy kootchy-koos his baby and makes a bad Lincoln joke. Roberta says she doesn’t know whether to be worried about the baby or afraid of it. I’m guessing, like the Starchild in V, she will be the one who brings everyone together. Or at least that will be the hope. Those things never work out in practice.

10K catches a mess of trout, and while Murphy is still obsessing over his little one, the others take the opportunity to discuss getting the baby away from him. Vasquez has disappeared again, and there’s concern about that too. He’s in the woods on his walkie-talkie. What is that guy up to? At first, I thought he might be contacting Citizen Z (who we haven’t seen enough of this season) for the greater good and all that, but now I think he’s up to no good. Roberta follows him

Murphy is letting baby Lucy nurse on a finger. Not his finger, a finger he found somewhere. Doc says she needs a once-over to see if she’s healthy, but Murphy isn’t having any. He says he’s going for a walk, and tells Cassandra to make sure the others don’t follow.

Vasquez meets up with some dudes in skull masks on motorcycles. Although since he shoots one of them and now they’re beating the crap out of him, I don’t think this is who he went to meet. Now Roberta has to decide if she’s going to step in or not.

Commercial break. Poor Subway sandwiches. Now when I see them, I think about Jared, but not in a good way. Well, Tylenol recovered, maybe they can too.

The skull guys are about to execute Vasquez, but Roberta gets some shots in, Vasquez grabs a gun, and they’re able to escape, leaving the remaining skulls to be eaten by zombies. Both Vasquez and Roberta have been shot, and they find an abandoned hospital where all kinds of bodies are suddenly coming to life. They get things under control. But Vasquez isn’t looking too good. They go in search of “sutures, bandages and antibacterial anything.”

Murphy can’t catch a break because of all the zombies following the baby. The others think they should find him because they’re concerned for both his and the baby’s safety. They make a plan to allow one of them to get caught by Cassandra while the others search for Murphy.  They all run in different directions. Cassandra jumps Addy and twists her arm, making Addy scream, and making the others return.

“Of all the horrible things I’ve had to do in the apocalypse, this is probably the horriblest,” says Murphy while changing Lucy’s diaper, giving us the quote of the night.

Vasquez and Roberta try to sneak past a zombie that has no eyes, but when Roberta opens the door, the zombie hears it. Dammit! There was a commercial, I went to get some seltzer, and missed what happened with that zombie. The one time in the history of the world when there was only one commercial during the break. Vasquez is stitching up Roberta. He says she’s “being a man about it,” and she smacks him, telling him it’s a scientific fact that women can take more pain than men. Truth!

OBM seems to think that Murphy might harm Lucy, although that’s highly doubtful since he’s changing her diaper. 10K tells Doc and Addy to get ready to run. Addy wants to know why, but Doc says when someone tells him that, he just gets ready. 10K tries to reason with Cassandra, telling her she hurt Addy and blah-blah-blah, while the other two take off. 10K blocks Cassandra from running after them, and it looks like they’re going to duke it out or at least chest bump one another.

Roberta is now stitching up Vasquez. I’d be stealing myself for pain if I was him. He tells her that he was once a DEA agent. A guy tried to bribe him, he said no, and his family was kidnapped and shot in front of him. His wife was the first person he saw turned. Apparently, the group Vasquez met up with were involved with this.

Murphy finds a house where he intends to hide with Lucy. A guy comes out with a rifle, and before Murphy can say, “Excuse me, can we,” the guy shoots. No! We can’t lose Murphy!

Thank goodness. After the commercial break, it turns out the guy was shooting at the zombies behind Murphy. I guess this guy didn’t notice one of these things is not like the others. Okay, he does notice and asks Murphy why he’s “so blue.” Murphy tells him he has a vitamin deficiency. Murphy tells him he was in a group that he thought wanted to take the baby because her crying attracted zombies. It sounds like he’s going to ask them to take Lucy. Aren’t they going to notice she’s not normal???  She’s a weird color and has wonky eyes. Uh-oh, she has little pointy teeth too. The wife throws the baby back like a football. Not really, but I would have. They tell Murphy to get lost and take the baby with him

Oh man, Vasquez has died and Roberta has to give him mercy. Wait! He wasn’t dead. Geez, good thing she wasn’t any quicker with the mercy.

10K has taken a nasty blow from Cassandra, and she’s beating the ever-lovin hell out of him. They wrestle for a while, and she’s about to squash his head like a grape – like that guy in Game of Thrones – and he kills her. We can tell he isn’t happy about it, but it looked like she was going to kill him and we need more people than zombies. Or half-zombies.

Commercial break. Rock the Casbah looks awesome! I love Bill Murray! I wish he’d crash one of my parties, or at least photobomb me.

Vasquez and Roberta make it back to Doc, Addy and 10K. Addy is a little pissed that 10K killed Cassandra, but 10K says he did what he had to. He doesn’t want to feel better about it though. Murphy returns and Roberta stops him from going after 10K. Murphy says they don’t have to worry about the baby anymore and we think he killed Lucy, but she’s with the couple who Murphy has now made into half-zombies like him.

Cool.

Oct10

October 9, 2015 – Double the GH, Barely a Hop & a Zombie Baby

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital — Thursday

Did Julian literally lose his shirt? He never seems to wear one anymore.

Sabrrrina tells Felix she’s been too busy to take the pregnancy test she bought. Yes, too busy to pee, she says. Welcome to the world of most women. Maybe they’re doing it differently now, but I also could have sworn you’re supposed to do that test first thing in the morning. And nobody’s that busy.

Suddenly Dante wants another baby. Because that’s a good way to save your marriage in advance. It’s only a matter of time before the wrong person sees the video of Valerie telling Dillon that she slept with Dante. It’s probably any minute now, since Dillon told the PA to do what he wants with the footage. And how can I even take Dillon seriously as a director when he’s not being a control freak? Not only that, Dillon is starting to feel guilty about having the knowledge that Dante is a cheat.

Nathan shows up at the movie set and acts like a bit of a jerk, telling Dillon he’s there to investigate the conditions on the set when he’s really there to investigate what Maxie is doing.

Paul and Tracy have a discussion about Michael, ELQ and the mob. Are these two getting back together again? NuPaul has grown on me quickly, and I’d like to see Tracy have some fun. It won’t be much fun when she finds out his game, but in the meantime, why not? Tracy leaves and Michael arrives.

Alexis asks Julian to move in with her. Aren’t these two a little old to be playing house? Isn’t he ever going to have his own place? The ten years I lived alone was the best ten years of my life.

Ha-ha! Maxie tells Dillon that Nathan was just being ridiculous over their sex scene and he even believes pro-wrestling is real. Maxie has to cry during a scene and is clueless about method acting, but doesn’t want to fake it with glycerin. Lulu walks in with groceries while they’re filming. Are they filming in her living toom? What the what? She says she wanted to provide a craft services table for them, and Dillon goes ballistic under the guise of her interrupting the scene.

Olivia is back and wants to come clean about baby Leo. Dante tells her this would be a bad idea, since they don’t know for sure if Julian is out of the mob, and her whole point in hiding the baby was because she wants to keep Leo away from all that.

Oh, this is good! Sabrrrina gets home with her bag from the drugstore and finds the GH equivalent of Twizzlers in it. Nathan smacks into Valerie outside the diner and she drops her drugstore purchase without realizing. After she wanders off, Nathan finds the pregnancy test. Since Nathan is hip to the fact that Valerie and Dante slept together, we all know what he’s thinking. I’m guessing that, although this is amusing right now, Valerie probably will end up pregnant, especially since Dante and Lulu are gearing up to have another baby. Wrenches in the works all around.

Paul tells Michael he needs to step away from the mob. Michael thinks Tracy is behind his lecture and tells him to take a hike. Since Paul’s office has a revolving door, as soon as Michael leaves, Dillon shows up complaining about Nathan, although Paul managed to squeeze in a phone call to Alexis, telling her he’s not going to prosecute Julian. Well, that worked out.

Sabrrrina miraculously gets another pregnancy test without even leaving the house.

Tracy shows up at Sabrrrina’s, where she’s now taken 47 pregnancy tests and is eating the Twizzlers. Apparently, they were supposed to have breakfast together and Sabrrrina never showed. Michael shows up and blasts Tracy about Paul’s lecture. Does no one have to go to work today?

Only Alexis. She leaves for work, and Olivia shows up with baby Leo.

Of course Nathan can’t keep anything to himself, and before even checking with Valerie to see what’s up, tells Dante that Valerie has, or rather had, a pregnancy test. Before anyone has a chance to breathe, Dante is shoving the test at Valerie, while Dillon lurks in the background.

Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood

In the 20 minutes I watched this, two women got into a cat fight over a man, and one hip hop guy said, “That’s all I’m sayin’. You know what I’m sayin’?”

I think that’s probably as high as the bar is set for this show.

General Hospital – Friday

If Elizabeth keeps talking out loud to herself about how she’s finally marrying Jason, she won’t have to worry about the secret getting out. Laura tells Elizabeth she’s out of her mind, marrying “Jake” under false pretenses. Elizabeth acts like the selfish idiot that she is, and doesn’t want to listen. She says everyone is happy right now and it would be devastating for several people, like Patrick. Laura tells her it’s going to be worse if the truth comes out later. No kidding.

Lulu wonders why Dillon is acting linsane, and Maxie tells her it’s because he’s in love with her. After Dillon is done lurking at the police station, he comes in wanting to talk to Lulu. He gives her some baloney about being stressed over the film, and then tells her that he wants to come clean about everything. She says she already knows what he’s going to say. This is usually where a mix-up occurs.

Dante demands an explanation from Valerie about the pregnancy test, and she demands to know where her Twizzlers went. Valerie gets seriously pissed about Dante jumping her ass (and not in a good way) and stomps off. I don’t blame her. Dante jumping to conclusions was what got them into this mess in the first place.

Hayden wants to go out on the town with Nicholas, but she needs him to buy her a hot outfit first. Because women always make a guy buy the outfit for the first date.

“Jake” has a confab with Sam about finding out who he is before the wedding. He wants to give his true identity to Elizabeth as a wedding gift. That will be some gift. I can’t wait. Sam wants to start with Hayden, which means starting with Nicholas. “Jake” wonders why Nicholas would give a flying, and I’ve forgotten why, so I wonder too.

Commercial break. Is that Puddy from Seinfeld in the ad for Yoplait Whips? What happened to him? He looks like a pro-wrestler.

Olivia tells Julian that she adopted the baby she’s carrying around. Because adoptions happen just that quickly. She makes up something stupid that no one in their right mind would believe. Julian takes the baby, who starts crying his head off. Is Olivia sure this is his kid? Not much happens here, and Olivia leaves as quickly as she came.

Lulu tells Dillon that everything is cool and that he’ll find someone else. He asks her what on earth she’s talking about. Told you. She tells him that they had a lot of loose ends from way back when, and that they represent each other’s missed chances. Good point. She also makes it clear that she’s happily married, making Dillon thisclose to telling her about Valerie and Dante. Lulu tells Dillon that she and Dante want to have another baby and there’s no hope for them. Uh-oh, here it comes.

Dante follows Valerie around, apologizing and acting like an idiot in general. She says even if she was pregnant, she wouldn’t keep it. Ouch! He begs her forgiveness and she says he’s made it impossible to hate him.

Laura suggests that Elizabeth tell “Jake” the truth before someone else, like Hayden, does. Young Jake comes in with an injury over his eye. I guess he got in a fight in school? Laura thinks maybe young Jake should see a shrink, since he spent the first 4 years of his life isolated on Spoon Island with Helena.

“Jake” suggests that he and Sam take a look at Nicholas’s computer. Nicholas and Hayden walk in with ten thousand shopping bags, making that idea very convenient. Sam insults the both of them and leaves with “Jake.” Nicholas wants to know what Hayden bought and so do I. She says it’s a surprise, but gives him a sneak preview of her teddy or corset or whatever she’s got on under her clothes. He wants to know why she’s being so seductive. It must have been a while since he’s gone on a date. She claims Nicholas is “blushing,” but I don’t see it. As a matter-of-fact, that’s the last thing I’d think he’d do. Hayden says he’s almost acting like he cares about her, and she wants to talk about where the relationship is going, and he says he’s suddenly not hungry…for food. Woo woo!

Just as Sam and “Jake” get to Windermere, they hear Nicholas and Hayden coming back in. This place is on an island. Does everyone have private helicopters or what? Sam and Jake scoot out the back door, and Nicholas says he wants Hayden to put on a fashion show of all the stuff she bought on his dime. “Jake” and Sam scale a wall and get in the castle another way. Sam downloads all of the info on Nicholas’s computer onto a flash drive, but before she’s finished, even though there are 5000 rooms, Hayden and Nicholas decide to use this one for the fashion show.

Dante tells big mouth Nathan that the pregnancy test wasn’t Valerie’s, and he feels like an idiot. But then Maxie sees the test and no doubt jumps to the same conclusion.

Dillon grabs Lulu for a kiss, young Jake hears Elizabeth saying that “Jake” is his father, Nicholas and Hayden start going at it with Sam and Jake teetering on a balcony or ledge or something outside, and I’m eternally grateful that the news didn’t break in at the last second.

Z Nation

Operation Bite Mark has picked up Murphy’s groupie, Serena, who looks about two 24 months pregnant. The group is traveling through a Wisconsin town that was having some kind of cheese festival, making for some amusing zombies. Doc sees the world’s biggest wheel of cheese and stops to take a slice. They use the wheel to mow down a whole lot of zombies.

Serena is going through a lot of changes – morning, daytime and evening sickness, and hormonal weirdness. While they stop for her getting sick, a group starts shooting at them. Hormones can be a good thing sometimes, as Serena knocks them all out with a machine gun tirade about a baby being on board.

The cheese wheel continues on.

They get to a Mennonite farm. Vasquez slips away and takes out his radio. Is he contacting someone? Citizen Z perhaps?

10K comes across some farmers, some zombies and a zombie sheep. He takes care of the latter two, and the farmers leave without so much as a thank you.

Commercial break. It’s a new one from Subaru with the dogs Teenage lab is dating a boxer (a boxer dog, not a pugilist) and she chases his car after he drops her off. Very cute! They knew what they were doing when they created this ad series. Some other new show called The Expanse looks good, but I watch too many shows as it is. Childhood’s End is another intriguing one. Must. Stop. Looking.

10K follows the farmers, who have holed up in a barn, but they close the door on him. He’s covered with some kind of powder that he says came out of a zombie’s head when he shot it. That can’t be good. Roberta doesn’t think so either, and tells him to wash up.

Vasqyez reunites with the others (we never get back to the radio business), but the conversation is cut short by a family of zombies that they have to deal with. They explode with the powdery stuff. The living emerge and it turns out the powder is anthrax. Was this a result of the nuclear fallout? They don’t explain. 10K keels over and is running a high fever.  Serena is about to have her baby. There are tons of sick people in the makeshift infirmary, but whether from the anthrax or zombies, I don’t know.

Serena  is about to give birth in the barn, and can’t seem to stop talking, which she’s been doing since they picked her up. Addy tells one of the women they need Doc. English is not her first language, but she gets it when Addy makes a gesture like she’s inhaling a joint. I’m pretty sure Doc has never delivered a baby before. Let alone a half-zombie baby.

The Mennonite elder, who is young because there’s no one else left, tells OBM about a pharmacy in another town. The Mennonites haven’t gone there because it’s too dangerous, but they decide to set off. Mennonite Elder Guy in tow.

Murphy and Serena make insane noises at each other, which I guess is supposed to be the half-zombie Lamaze method.

Addy, Vazquez and Mennonite Elder Guy crash the drugstore. Addy feels the need to tell Mennonite Elder Guy what condoms are for. Um, he’s a Mennonite, not a Martian. They find a guy shooting up In the back of the store. Well, there go all the drugs. Yep, there are none left. Drug Addict Guy wants to die and rushes Vasquez, who shoots him.

Murphy asks Doc for a cigar, but all Doc can come up with is a piece of nicotine gum. Things are not looking good for 10K, who is spitting up blood. I feel sad about that. This show isn’t known for sparing even its main characters. Roberta says they have Cipro at the farm. She justifies taking it from them, saying there isn’t enough for the whole place, but there is enough to save 10K. She and Vasquez are going to rob the farm’s pharm, while Doc stays behind with Murphy and Serena.

Mennonite Elder Guy knows Roberta is there for the medicine. She explains that their mission is to create the vaccine that will help everyone. Mennonite Elder Guy shares their credo of non-violence and loving their enemies. Roberta takes what they came for and she and Mennonite Elder Guy wish each other peace.

OBM is reunited and the baby is pulling itself out of the womb. Yikes! Here come 3 wise guy zombies with a zombie camel and a bunch of other zombie animals. This is apparently the zombie messiah. Some zombie cowboys (?)  join in too, and zombies start accumulating. The baby is a girl and it’s actually kind of cute. The zombie pack breaks through to where they are, and Murphy can’t hypnotize them like usual because they’re drawn to the baby. Serena gets loud and hormonal and stops them in their zombie tracks, calling them damn dirty zombies like in Planet of the Apes. She gets caught amongst the zombies and gets eaten as Murphy watches helplessly. She emerges as a zombie faster than any turning I’ve ever seen, and Roberta gives her mercy. Sacrificial lamb character for tonight, but how are these people going to travel with a half-zombie baby? I’m betting it’s going to be an adult in two weeks’ time.

If I see that final countdown Geico ad one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind. It’s been an ear worm on and off for weeks.

Commercial break. Strange. It’s an ad for The Walking Dead.

10K has survived and Murphy needs to name the baby. Addy gives 10K the condoms, which seems odd to me, since you’d think they’d be wanting to repopulate the earth. If she was going to give them to anyone, it should be Murphy. Murphy names the baby Lucille, the first of her kind.

Ha-ha-ha! The cheese wheel picks up a cow at the end.

Oct5

October 4, 2015 — King Arthur’s Court & the Dead

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon a Time

I’ve always thought it was funny how, in fantasy or horror stories, they’ll believe in one thing, but not another. Like on Dark Shadows, they would be okay with witches, but a vampire is preposterous. Or vampires are totally plausible, but not a werewolf. In tonight’s episode, when King Arthur is thrown into present day Storybrook, he has a magician who’s been imprisoned, but scoffs that a curse could be involved. A magician who once turned him into a fish, so really?

In order to get Merlin released, dark magic will have to be used, so Regina (otherwise known as the Evil Queen) wants to take Emma’s place, even though Emma (otherwise known as The Savior) is supposed to be the one to save the day. Meanwhile, Emma’s counterpart has gone completely darkside and Captain Hook breaks up with her. Yes, I know, it sounds like the writers are on drugs; that’s not my fault. It’s actually easier to follow than it sounds, but you do have to pay attention or you’ll wonder where The Cat in the Hat suddenly came from.

In Storybrook, some weird ass dark fairy comes down from the sky and carries off Regina’s boyfriend, Robin Hood. It turns out it’s in some kind of payment for some magic where a life is required. Hmm…we’ve got seven dwarves, so I’d pick one of them. Who needs Grumpy anyway?

Back at Camelot, Regina gets an awesome necklace from King Arthur to wear at the ball. It’s really nice, but it doesn’t look like it was foraged during the Middle Ages. Not even close. No surprise, it’s really a hidden camera, or cauldron, or whatever it is they use for candid snaps there.

There’s a cutesy part with finding Regina the proper dress and teaching her to dance. I ignore the dialogue, but lust after the clothes.

Apparently it’s okay to bring your iPod to the parallel medieval world. Uh-oh, someone has realized that Regina is not so much savior as evil queen and pulls a sword on her. In the following melee, parallel world Robin Hood gets stabbed. Regina asks Emma to save Robin. As magic always comes with a price, Rumpelstiltskin pops in and tells her that he doesn’t make the rules and Regina will have to pay up. Emma says screw you, I can do it myself and does.

Rumpelstiltskin is another reason I watch this show. Robert Carlyle is a lot of fun to watch in this role. While most people know him from Trainspotting or The Full Monty, my favorite film of his is the lesser known Ravenous, where he plays cannibal Colonel Ives, a soldier during the Civil War. If you can take great acting, smart dialogue, and a bloody mess, put it on your Netflix list or however you view films.

The dark fairy, who is some kind of demon, is really cool. I’m surprised this show has never won an Emmy for special effects, although they’ve been nominated. The demon starts zapping Robin Hood, but the whole group steps in to take the zap, and shows us that we can succeed if we work together. This show is pretty corny, but the corn is tolerable because of the context.

Rumpel gives Dark Emma a huge cornball speech about love and friendship, but says she can fix all that with Excalibur. Of course she can’t take it out of the stone, so they’ll have to kidnap find someone who can.

Fear the Walking Dead

Travis and Madison start packing supplies and are going to find Nick and Griselda. Daniel wants to kill Andrew because they don’t need him anymore, but even I think that’s a bad idea. He seems to be on their side, they outnumber him anyway and if they’re going break into the hospital, or whatever it is, they’ll need him. Andrew makes sense in telling them he’s only been nice to them, even before Daniel skinned his arm. They leave him alive and behind because he’s an expendable character and the car is at capacity anyway.

They drive through the gate at the Army base. The troops in the watchtower tell Daniel to halt or they’ll shoot, but he tells them to save their ammunition. Right behind him is a Times Square on New Year’s Eve level hoard of zombies. This distracts them while they walk right in, although I’m not sure how Daniel avoided getting eaten between the gate and the watchtower.

Nick and the Allstate guy are still in confinement.  There’s a huge commotion outside and Nick shows Allstate that he has the key. It looks like the zombies are getting in, the troops are evacuating and they’re leaving the sick behind. Travis, Madison and Daniel have gone inside to look for Nick and Griselda while Alicia and Chris are left in the parking garage with the car. Do their parents really think this is safe???

Nick walks out with Allstate, leaving everyone behind who’s begging for them to let them out. I expect this from Allstate, who seems like a grifter, but would have thought better of Nick. Some Army guys want the car from Chris and Alicia. Even though she gives them the keys, they act like a-holes and punch Chris out when he protests their a-holeness. More disappointment. Mostly because why does a random group of men always end up being misogynistic and violent on these shows?

There’s a lot of chaos with the zombies and the soldiers and the helicopters. Some guy gets his head chopped off by some helicopter blades. Nice. Also reminiscent of both Dawn of the Dead and Planet Terror. I’m never sure if something is an homage or there are just so many ways you can kill someone.

Part of the zombie hoard is after Nick and Allstate. Travis and company have made it into the quarantine area. The people in confinement tell them that Nick is a bastard who left them there to die, but at least these guys have the decency to break them free. Nick and Allstate are stuck between a locked door and a zombie crowd (karma), with Travis and the rest (here, on Gilligan’s Isle!) on the other side of the door.This is a pretty good scene. Very exciting and intense. Liza comes along and is able to open the door with her keycard at the very last millisecond. After which they’re promptly attacked by zombies in the hospital kitchen. Lots of fun props like meat tenderizers to kill zombies with.

Did Nick just say Allstate’s name was Rand or…it’s Strand, but I think I’ll stick with Allstate. I kind of like it. Dr. Exner is staying behind with the sick, which is pretty noble. Especially since she seemed like a real tool. Allstate suggests they go West where he has some property. They come across a mass funeral pyre, no doubt composed (no pun intended) of whoever died at the infirmary. The soldiers took the SUV, but Chris and Alicia are okay. See? That was a gratuitous nasty moment with those guys. Andrew shows up and shoots Ofelia. WTF? I take back all the nice stuff I said about him. On the bright side, pacifist Travis finally waves his aggression flag and beats the ever-lovin’ crap out of Andrew.

They get a truck and a car somehow and head on down the highway, where they see the occasional straggler zombie. (How come it isn’t zomby anyway?) They get to Allstate’s house that looks more like a compound. Nice spread. Nick tries to be a philosopher and I go to sleep.

Commercial Break. Sometimes I wish I played video games. They’ll show a clip from what I think looks like a really awesome movie, and then I find out it’s a video game. This one was for HALO5. Just what I’d need though. Another electronic device that I’m attached to.

Allstate says they can’t stay and that “the only way to survive a mad world is to embrace the madness.” He has a yacht out back and methinks they will be boarding it. Uh-oh, Liza has a bite. Liza (who is also Travis’s ex and Chris’s mother) asks Madison to shoot her. Just when we think she will, Travis shows up. His optimism is back and he thinks she can just take something for it, but that’s a no. Madison gives Travis the gun and another expendable character bites the dust.

Oh no. Don’t let it end this way. With some poetic song playing loudly in the background as Travis goes through angst on the beach and Madison joins him while the waves crash over their knees. No, no, no, no. It was just getting good.

Only 6 episodes? They saved the best for last, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to save the show and get it another season.

BTW, Frank Dillane, the actor who plays Nick, is the son of Stephen Dillane, Stannis on Game of Thrones.

Oct3

October 2, 2015 — Twice the GH & Zombie Plants

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital – Thursday

Morgan tries to physically restrain Ava from taking Avery, but a cop shows up. Court order, dude. And Judge Judy doesn’t care about your feelings or what you think. Valerie makes up something to cover for what Lulu overheard.

Anna is recruiting Sam to help with the Sonny shooting since she knows it can’t be Carrrlos, and Nathan is discussing Ava with Paul. Apparently, Sloane has a first name, but I missed it and they’ll probably never repeat it again. Sam tries to argue the Carrrlos point, and Anna says she has “information” that it’s not him. That’s an understatement.

Some college kid that Dillon has hired to be a production assistant is filming a “behind the scenes” documentary. Like anyone would care about this film. Dillon sees Lulu instead of Maxie when they film the love scene. He spaces out and they take a break. Whoa. Maxie really looked half naked there.

Morgan continues to act like an idiot, but Sonny’s surgery is over, so it’s time to take the idiocy back to the hospital where they can upset the staff and patients. Patrick says that the embolism already did its damage by the time they got to it, but it’s too early to tell what the prognosis is (say that 3 times real fast).

Paul shows up at Ava’s. Ha-ha! Baby Avery is playing with Ava’s earrings again. Seriously, she’s going to have to switch to studs for a while. Paul says Anna is wise to the fact that Carrrlos didn’t shoot Sonny, but doesn’t exactly say why. They then move on to more important things, like Patrick’s proposal to Sam.

It’s funny how the characters on GH call it GH.

Valerie is such a jerk. Someone set her up with Morgan. Now he did it. Dillon said “Lulu” instead of Maxie’s character name in his film. He tells Maxie about his love for Lulu, who says she’ll keep it to herself, and gives him a mini pep talk. Oddly enough, Nathan is having the same conversaion with Valerie about Dante.

ROFL! Valerie shows up at Dillon’s set and he says “something came up,” so he sent everyone home for the day. No comment. Valerie kisses him because she can’t have Dante.

Yay! Looks like Franco is on next time.

General Hospital – Friday

Lulu says she’s staying home to oversee Dante. She doesn’t know the half of it.

My favorites! Franco and Nina! Kiki is apparently trying to sell Silas’s old place and they walk in when the realtor is going on about how she should lower the price because a murder was committed there and it will be hard to sell. Really? Highly doubtful, especially in Port Charles where a murder is committed every other day.

Sam has created a romantic atmosphere in Patrick’s living room using many candles. You can tell these people don’t have pets. She holds up a “Yes, I’ll marry you sign.” Why doesn’t she just tell him?

The PA walks in on Dillon and Valerie making out. After he leaves, stupid Valerie spills the beans that she’s just been using Dillon and is in love with someone else. Dillon asks if it’s Dante. Dillon says it’s ok, he loves someone else too. Suddenly, Valerie is extremely smart and perceptive, and guesses that it’s Lulu. Valerie is also rocking a very nice tit-dyed trapeze top.

Honestly, I need some kind of family tree chart to keep who’s related to whom straight. Dante tells Lulu he’s worried about his brother, Morgan, but I think he’s worried about more than that. Lulu says it will all work out. I wasn’t crazy about this actress at first, but she’s grown on me and I like her.

Franco is worried about Kiki because she hasn’t returned his calls and she’s in her PJs is in the middle of the afternoon. She gives him a song and dance about having gotten a job in Japanese investments, so she works at night. I don’t believe it and I don’t think Franco does either.

Maxie is able to convince Nathan that nothing is going on between her and Dillon, but says she’ll have to keep what she and Dillon talked about to herself. Nathan isn’t thrilled with that, but says he has a secret too that he’s keeping to himself.

Hmm…Kiki says she has to get ready for work and Franco says they’ll wait and can all go out together. I’m guessing, unless she’s commuting to NYC, you would do that sort of job online.

Ugh! The “just one kiss” phrase is back. Dillon tells Valerie that the “spark” with Lulu is still there and she says ditto about Dante. This confuses me about their definition of spark. Whenever I’ve heard that word used in that context, it’s a reciprocal thing. Are they just sparking by themselves?  Valerie says at least Dillon didn’t act on his spark. Then Dillon says that phrase I’ve come to hate, and Valerie is all humana-humana. She’s going to tell him, isn’t she? What is wrong with these people that they can’t keep a damn thing to themselves? I’m guessing Maxie and Nathan are going to tell their secrets to each other too.

Nina wants to move in with Franco, but he’s hesitant because he’s broke. Nina isn’t and says she’d like to use the money for good, since so much bad has come from it. Lovey dovey stuff, which is okay with me because I really like them. Kiki shows back up, but IMO, still not dressed appropriately for a job in investments. I used to work in investments, but maybe things have changed or it’s casual Friday.

Ha-ha! Lulu is giving Dante a back massage and tells him to just think about nothing. That should be pretty easy for him. Dillon isn’t buying that Valerie and Dante just had…you know. O…M…G. Valerie just told him that she slept with Dante. Take my advice, people, if you want to keep something a secret, don’t tell everyone. I’d check her Facebook status if I could. If she really cared that much about him, I don’t think she’d be blabbing about this. Oooh, I wonder if she’ll end up pregnant. Now that she opened her big mouth, she’s worried because Dillon is friends with Lulu. She couldn’t have thought about that 3 minutes ago?

Oh wow! Their whole conversation was just filmed by the stray camera that got left on.

Obama hates me. Once again, they broke in at the last second. I don’t even know if that was the end of the show or what. Bush hated me too. It seems like whenever these guys have something to say, it’s always at the tail end of the show I’m watching. Heaving huge sigh. At least Z Nation is on tonight.

Z Nation

Weirdest. Greenhouse. Ever. When they said there were zombies in the z-weed, I thought they were ground up or something, but the zombies are part of the plants. (I’d also thought they said “seaweed.) It’s part zombie, part plant. It’s also kind of tough to harvest the seed pods, since everyone who goes in gets bit and turned into another zombie. There’s also a huge zombie plant that’s bigger and tougher than your normal zombie plant.

Murphy and Cassandra are at the lab where a scientist, who’s probably just a smart guy in a lab coat, is using various zombie parts for tests. Weirdest. Lab. Ever. Too. And that includes the one in The Brain That Wouldn’t Die. The dude realizes Murphy is Murphy.  Some woman volunteers to go in for the seed pods. She doesn’t make it too far before she’s being accosted by a zombie plant. Operation Bite Mark steps in and saves her. They’ve shown up looking for Murphy. She’s scratched up though, so I don’t know how good that is. She has a bond with a little girl who isn’t hers, but both of their families are dead. The girl isn’t doing so well; she has a fever of some kind.

The scientist came along after the place had been overrun by zombies. They had been working on a vaccine and found z-weed in the meantime, which turned out to be a lucrative endeavor. Via the notes left behind, the scientist believes the latest batch, #47, will be what they’re looking for. All of the previous batches have gone awry. Murphy goes with him into the greenhouse where he’s able to hypnotize the zombie plants.  This greenhouse is pretty creepy.

Citizen Z is learning Spanish on his iPad. Pup is okay! The woman harvester has a truck with a radio and Addy calls in. Citizen Z is using solar power and he’s losing the light, so they get cut off, but not before Addy tells Citizen Z that Murphy’s alive and he gives her the coordinates of the lab in California where they’re supposed to be taking him.

The first dose of batch 47 on a zombie head causes it to explode; the second, lower dosage does nothing; but the third gets the result they’re looking for – a cognizant zombie head. While OBM is discussing how they’re going to get Murphy back, he comes in behind them and tells them they don’t need to go to California, that the cure is right there, if they can only harvest it. Since bullets don’t kill plants, they bring garden tools. Doc takes the garden weasel.

Murphy has some kind of special connection to the plants and can feel what they do. He says all the zombie plants are interconnected and you can’t kill one without killing all of them. Murphy and Roberta will do the harvesting while Doc has déjà vu. The big ass zombie plant is part of batch 47 and gets really, really pissed when they pick his pods. And thus comes the ohshitohshitohshit moment of the night. Murphy gets entangled in the plant, Roberta cuts him free and all zombie plant hell breaks loose.

Running away from the greenhouse, Murphy runs into Dr. Kurian, whose search for immortality started the whole mess. Apparently, a cartel had funded him and is now after him. Oops! Here they are.

Hector, Escorpion to his friends, shows up with his posse.  He apparently buys z-weed on a regular basis. He’s not all that keen on the sideline of finding a cure, especially since they keep losing employees and it costs him money. He decides to test the last of the 47, using the scientist as a guinea pig and it doesn’t go well. He turns into a zombie and Hector shoots him. One of Hector’s henchmen drags in Dr. Kurian out from wherever he’s hiding and throws him in the car trunk.

Before they leave, the cartel guys are going to burn the place down. Murphy runs to save the zombie plants, who he claims have feelings, but only ends up entangled in the giant zombie plant, who doesn’t have as many feelings as Murphy thinks,and we get another free-for-all with OBM trying to save Murphy and themselves. The roots of the plant get entangled in an industrial fan and bye-bye giant zombie plant. Before they get the hell out of Dodge, Doc gives the little girl some plant leaves to chew, thinking it might help her. I’d like to think something might come of that later, but this was such an insignificant part of the plot, I’d be surprised if it did.

On their way out of town, OBM and Murphy see a blonde in the road. It turns out to be Serina, who was a Murphy groupie last season. She’s pregnant and guess who the daddy is?

Best quote of the night: “And to think we were worried about genetically modified tomatoes.” Murphy

Second best quote of the night: “Marijuana,  zombies & GMOs. What could go wrong?” Doc

Sep28

September 27, 2015 — Fairy Tales, Zombies & Kim, Oh My!

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Once Upon A Time

This show seems like it’s written by a bunch of ex-Disney employees on cocaine. Or as Mr. Hand would say, “on dope.” And I mean that in a good way. You never know who is going to show up – Cinderella, King Arthur, the Wicked Witch of whatever direction is in vogue. I’m waiting for the Peanuts gang to stop by any second.

I’d watched some of the show before the season premiere, where the cast and writers answered fan’s questions. Apparently, this show has achieved mini cultlike status. I didn’t think I was the only one watching it, because it keeps getting renewed, but I hadn’t realized how attached many people are to it. They continually said that it’s a “story about hope.” I can’t say I read a lot into it myself, although I do have shows and movies I feel that way about, so I’m impressed. My reasons for watching are much more shallow. The fabulous sets and costumes, and Captain Hook. He ain’t Walt Disney’s Captain Hook. It is also a lot of fun, characters from every favorite childhood story, living normal lives in a parallel world, while they wield their magic in whatever world they came from, be it Neverland or an enchanted forest. Bet you never knew Snow White and Prince Charming had a daughter. Frankly, I never thought about it much either, but that was the crux of the story and it blossomed from there.

Note to whoever does blonde hair on television shows – stop giving the women those silver highlights. They look like they have grey hair. Unless that’s the look you’re going for. That being said, I want to know who designed Emma’s coat in tonight’s episode. It is beyond.

Commercial break. Shouldn’t the “Little People Big Animal Zoo” be called the “Little People Big Animal Habitat?” Just sayin’.

This season, they’re adding Camelot to the mix and I’m wondering if Monty Python’s Flying Circus will come along? The special effects are also a lot of fun, and tonight Sneezy got turned into stone and crumbled into dust. He never did get any respect.

And whatever happened to Pongo?

Fear the Walking Dead

I got confused for a second with it starting off with some guy talking about being a closer, saying he can sell anything but insurance, like he’s a leftover from an Allstate commercial. We’re in some kind of holding tank, which I assume is the quarantine area. Nick is also there.

All right! The Walking Dead is coming back October  11 – Daryl & zombies!

Daniel’s daughter, Ofelia, is hopping up and down and creating a scene at the fence. She wants to see her mother. She tries to get others to go along with her complaining, but no one wants to get involved. Andrew, a soldier she befriended earlier, intervenes. Some guy in the background has had enough and is quitting the soldier business.

In the infirmary, Liza has been recruited to help with the sick. Dr. Exner says they’re short staffed and doesn’t explain where some of the staff went. I’ll bet I can guess.

Meanwhile, back at Madison’s place Chris basically tells Travis he’s a pacifist tool and storms off. Madison finds that Daniel has captured Andrew, who I assume he’s going to pump for information. Andrew gives him a bunch of rhetoric, telling them everything is cool. We all know everything is not cool, except for Travis who lives in Dream Valley with the My Little Ponies. He’s gone off to reason with his buddy, Lt. Moyers, and more rhetoric is given. Travis tells him that if the people who were taken don’t come back soon, the town is not going to be happy. This was really a stupid move, since he gets taken to “see the doctor,” which I think is a euphemism for “you’re not coming back.”

Lieutenant Dickweed will be lucky if his own men don’t end up killing him.

Oh look! It’s a zombie! I’d almost forgotten that’s what this show is about. Moyers wants Travis to kill it – I guess to make some kind of point. IMO this is akin to the Mafia guys in movies who always want to recruit civilians to be hit men. Probably not a good idea if you really want to get the job done. Travis can’t do it, so Moyers does, proving that Travis is willing to let someone else do the dirty work.

Commercial break. Into the Badlands looks amazing. It’s some kind of samurai drama. I don’t need another show to watch though. TV has got to stop being so good. Love those beer ads about “the most interesting man in the world.” IRL, he’s an animal activist. I read this in an article titled, The Most Interesting Man in the World Just Got More Interesting.

Back at the infirmary, a soldier has come in with bite marks and everyone gets real busy real quickly. Travis and the soldiers drive through an evacuated area that’s not so evacuated, since it’s crawling with zombies. When the soldiers are done doing whatever, Travis is told they’re taking him a few blocks away from home and he has to walk the rest of the way. What?!  Thanks a lot!

Apparently, Daniel knows a thing or two about torture and is skinning one of Andrew’s arms. Whoa.  Chris and Alicia have broken into a rich person’s house, play with their expensive toys and try on their expensive clothes. (An homage to the original Dawn of the Dead perhaps?) In the quarantine area, the soldiers are taking everyone’s temperature with a device that they can use from a distance. Cool! Nick’s temp is high (probably from withdrawal), but the Allstate guy keeps him from getting hauled away.

Ofelia is not too happy about Daniel’s means of getting information and walks out of the house. Lots of storming off tonight, even though there’s nowhere to storm off to. Daniel explains to Madison that he had told his daughter about the war he’s been through, but not what part he played in it. He says that sometimes it’s necessary to be evil in order to eradicate evil. He didn’t use those exact words, but I paraphrased. Not bad, eh?

Liza is combing the place for Griselda. She finds her among other “patients” in a locked area where all the people are wrapped up in what look like cocoons. Dr. Exner comes up behind her, and tells her that they have “septic shock” and there isn’t anything anyone can do. I’m guessing these are the people closest to death and they’re being kept far away and confined.

Chris and Alicia trash the rich people’s house just like normal teenagers. Travis makes it home and sees Ofelia practically catatonic.  He is totally appalled at Daniel’s behavior, but hey, it worked. Andrew is spilling everything. It turns out the soldiers are all going to book and the civilians are going to be “humanely terminated.”

The Allstate guy is amused that the people who have everything are now being looked at as lunch. He knows what’s happening with the evacuation, and wants Nick’s help. I’m pretty sure that this guy doesn’t do anything without wanting a favor in return.

Griselda is babbling in Spanish about the past which means I have to read subtitles. Afterward, she promptly dies. Why they have un-cocooned her, I have no clue. That seems kind of dangerous, and the doctor has just said they all come back and to shoot her in the head with some kind of gun used for livestock, which Liza does.

Why the blip is Daniel roaming about alone at night? He wanders all the way to the Los Angeles Arena, where the soldiers have chained a whole load of zombies inside. He watches as the doors begin to shake, reminiscent of when Rick finds the chained doors in the first episode of The Walking Dead. The only thing missing is the warning DO NOT OPEN – DEAD INSIDE.

It looks like next week, we will get full on zombies.

Best quote by Lt. D-bag: I can do anything I want. I got guns.

Don’t Be Tardy

This is one of those shows that I can take or leave, but really enjoy it when I take it. Despite her recent airport tantrum (who hasn’t at least thrown one in their head?), Kim and the rest of the Biermanns seem like lovely, normal (albeit rich) people.

Tonight, Kim made a speech and she got my vote for best real quote of the night. Maybe the year. While addressing a group of women, she said, “Can you imagine if [women] truly shared what they know with each other, how successful they would be?” She said this after talking about how some women will resent others doing well. Brava, Kim! I’ve thought that for a long time.

Don’t Be Tardy also got the award of the millennium for being a true glimpse of reality. Their dog took a poop and promptly ate it, causing Troy to convulse in laughter, and the girls to screech at the top of their lungs. It doesn’t get more real than that.

Sep27

Extra! Extra! I Started the Rocky Horror Show Cult

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While these aren’t exactly random, rambling thoughts on what I watched today, in honor of the 40th anniversary, HBO is having a midnight showing. Not quite the same as seeing it in the theatre, but an homage all the same.

Gather around, children, and you shall hear of the midnight show called Rocky Horror. I’ve often thought that I should write about it, and the time is now. Since I was just totally ignored by the new generation.

It was my first week in NYC. I was young, headed to acting school and the world was my oyster. A friend of mine had come along on the moving trip to get in a little R&R. My family was staying a couple of days and he was staying two weeks, but I was there permanently.  We were hanging out at a gay bar called The Ninth Circle in Greenwich Village, getting our drink on and meeting people. One of the people hanging out with us was the manager at the New Yorker movie theatre uptown. The Rocky Horror Picture Show had recently started its midnight run. He asked if we would like to go, tickets on him. I didn’t know much about it, but knew it was a musical, as I had seen the soundtrack for the L.A. production.

“Is it a horror film?” I asked.

“That depends on what you’re scared of,” he answered.

I was definitely intrigued and game for anything, so he told us to pick up the tickets at the box office that Friday night. He also handed us a joint. Smoke a joint? In a movie theatre? I wasn’t exactly naïve, but I had never heard of such a thing. Apparently, I wasn’t in Kansas Ohio anymore.

There weren’t too many people there, and my friend was pretty exhausted. He promptly fell asleep, leaving me to my own deductions, and an entire joint. At first, I didn’t know what to make of it, and it wasn’t because of the pot. When I saw Brad Majors (Barry Bostwick) dancing backward in a graveyard, I thought, Is this a joke? But by the end of the film, I thought if it was a joke, it was a well-written one.

A few weeks went by, my friend went back to Ohio, and I was already meeting loads of new people. The RHPS had stuck in my mind though, and I really wanted to see it again. I got together a few new friends, and we decided we would go to the Waverly in Greenwich Village, rather than schlep all the way uptown.

It was a totally different atmosphere there, crowded, the crowd brimming with excitement. We staked our claim on some balcony seats. At the time, there were no fans dressing up or yelling things, but there were a lot of joints being passed.

Rocky Horror had a highly addictive property, and it wasn’t the weed. It was a well-crafted film, to be sure. (Although, don’t shoot me, I actually think Richard O’Brien’s Shock Treatment is better and more relevant in a lot of ways.) The music is excellent, no stone left unturned in detail, and it couldn’t have been cast any better. But there was more to it than that. In 1976, the idea of “don’t dream it, be it” had found its perfect home in New York City. It was the right time at the right place.

At the time, I had also found the perfect home. While NYC will always be one of the greatest cities in the world, in the late 70s and early 80s, it was still affordable, and I’d landed there like Columbus discovering the New World. I was attending morning classes at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts (less impressive than it sounds) and living in the Webster Apartments, a women’s residence on West 34th Street. It was a cross between a dormitory and a Tennessee Williams play. Rooms with sinks, shared bathrooms on each floor, two meals a day included, and no men above the first floor (unless you were my dad, who insisted on inspecting it when I first arrived). If a guy showed up, you received a phone call from the front desk telling you that you had a “gentleman caller” and there were rooms on the first floor called “beau parlors” where you could receive your male company. You could also have a guy over for dinner, but he had to wear a jacket between October and May. If he didn’t have one, it could be provided for him at the desk, and that orange jacket got a lot of play from my friends. If you missed a meal, you could get a voucher for a friend, and broke friends need to eat. The meals were surprisingly good, cafeteria style, and there was often a sundae bar. Women weren’t excluded from the dress code either. While you were free to wear what you liked during the week, there were rules for the early Sunday dinner and you had to wear either a skirt or a pants suit. My grandmother had given me a polyester pants suit that I’m sure she thought was very chic (it wasn’t) and I can’t count the times I rolled out of bed on Sunday and into that suit and downstairs for the meal. It wasn’t always the most convenient place to live, but it was great for starting out and a good place to meet other women. I met my eventual roommate, Anna, there, who also became my cohort in Rocky Horror crime.

We started going downtown to the Waverly every Friday and Saturday. The line was long, the excitement was high (no pun intended), and I’m sure every merchant on West 4th Street hated us. Since the movie had originally bombed and been shelved, there was no soundtrack for the film, but the soundtrack for the LA Roxy cast was still available, so I immediately got a copy. We would often act out the musical numbers in our rooms after coming home. It wasn’t long before our private shows translated into audience participation.

The first person to dress up has never been mentioned in any of the books. I don’t know his name; otherwise, I’d totally give him props. One night, when it got to the part where Frankie asks if Janet heard “a bell ring,” someone in the balcony rang a bell, causing us all to convulse into laughter. I noticed the guy was dressed up like Eddie, the motorcyclist jazz musician played by Meat Loaf in the film. Afterwards, I sought him out and complimented him on his costume, which included the LOVE/HATE tattoos on Eddie’s knuckles. I asked him if they were real. “I’m a psychiatrist,” he told me. “If they were, my patients might get a little disconcerted.” Good point.

RHPS was a little like therapy, a way to let off some steam, without waking up with a hangover. At least I didn’t. I don’t know what other people were doing. Ironically, it was both therapeutic and addictive; both the rehab and the habit. We had made our home in the balcony, and made friends we saw week after week. The party started in the line that stretched down the block, where we waited to get in. We were always early, getting ready by nine and out by ten.

Louis, who sat in our row, was the first one to shout back at the screen. As Janet holds a newspaper over her head in the pouring rain, he yelled out, “Buy an umbrella, you cheap bitch!” A line that lives on to this day.

I went home for Christmas break, and it wasn’t long after my return that I got my first apartment, on West 27th Street, not far from where I was already. We walked most of my stuff over. I had a roommate for a while, a woman I had met at Webster, but it didn’t last very long. She had trouble adjusting to the city and decided to move back home. By then, I had my first job at Chargit. They took ticket orders for Broadway shows before Ticketmaster was the place to go. I’m sure it got absorbed by them at some point. Anna moved in with me, making it easier for us to be Rocky Horror fangirls together.

Our place was even decorated in early Rocky Horror. We purchased everything we could get our hands on. There wasn’t much merchandising , and certainly nothing like there is now. The only T-shirt you could get was one being sold at the record store near the Waverly.  It was black with the dripping words The Rocky Horror Show, sans Picture because it was from a stage play. My guess is that the store bought out someone’s stock and made a nice buck.  There were a couple of tchotchkes that had come with the Roxy soundtrack, but the Mecca of Rocky Horror movie stills, lobby cards and posters was Jerry Ohlinger’s Movie Material Store. We bought practically everything they had.

We also knew a couple who lived out in Queens, but attended the midnight show at the Waverly. He was a photographer and often took stills of the screen during the movie that he made into 8 x 10s.  I still have those stills (ha-ha). The best part was that no one else had those same pictures. When fans started selling buttons and T-shirts, we got those too.

People were starting to dress up, and found glitter platforms, fishnet gloves and stockings, and feather boas at the hooker stores in Times Square. NYC has everything, so costumes were not that difficult to put together. While Anna and I always dressed fabulously, we didn’t wear costumes and Rocky makeup as a general rule. Speaking of which, it’s so much easier today to find black lipstick and eye shadow. Back then, it was nearly impossible. We found it, but it took some work. We did do the full Rocky regalia one night when we were having an after party. I wasn’t about to wear a garter belt and fishnets on the subway, but I had this incredible 1940s black velvet coat with a beaver fur collar that I’d gotten for ten bucks at Trash & Vaudville on St. Mark’s Place and I wore it over my outfit.

Our apartment wasn’t big – a railroad flat, two rooms and a bathroom – but mostly college and acting students lived there, so no one cared about the late night noise, guests spilling out into the hall, or the funny smelling cigarettes some people were smoking. At one point, there was a banging on the door with the shout, “Open up! Police!” but it was only our upstairs neighbor, Jeff, wanting in on the fun. Later on, he became known as “Naked Jeff.”

After a night of such fine partying that someone drank the bong water (no, it was neither one of us), we had the brilliant idea to watch the sun rise from the apartment rooftop. What we forgot to think about was the height of our building, which was considerably shorter than those surrounding it. No sun rise for us, but we still enjoyed ourselves, chatting, smoking and wandering around. Until Jeff scared us half to death. All of a sudden, his head was peeking over the edge of the roof, which none of us had expected. He actually had every right to scare us, since we’d woke him up. As he came up the fire escape, we realized he wasn’t wearing anything. He wasn’t about to put on any clothes either, but at least he wasn’t mad, and hung out (literally) with us for a while as we watched the sun not rise.

Oh yeah, how it started. The first row of the balcony put you more on the level of the screen, and without seeing other audience members, gave you a certain intimacy with the film. One night, after Frankie sings I’m Going Home, several of us spontaneously stood up and applauded, along with the audience in the movie. It felt like we were in the movie. And that’s how the thought started. How fun it would be, I told Anna, if we tossed confetti during the Frankie/Rocky wedding scene, at the same time they do it on screen. It will fall on the audience below us and they’ll really feel like they’re a part of the movie. I was going back to Ohio for vacation and I’d also wanted to do something special, since I wouldn’t be at the Waverly for a while.

The audience was thrilled and, although it wasn’t the intention, the confetti throwing took off. Anna calls it a “private joke gone public,” and I tend to agree. When I got a letter (yes! we actually put pen to paper and wrote letters back then!) from my sister, who lived near a midnight showing in Cleveland Heights, telling me they were throwing confetti in the theatre there, I was astonished. Imagine my surprise that this even exists 40 years later, all over the world.

The confetti birthed holding newspapers over our heads when Janet did. The paper they hold in the film is the Plain Dealer and I was able to get copies from my father, and I gave them out. I recently sold the last one on eBay for $19.76, in honor of the first year I saw RHPS. Although several people tried it (not me!), it was a no-no to be holding candles so close to newspapers in a movie theatre (that pesky fire code), so that gave way to flashlights. Costumes started coming out, and a mini floor show. Lines were consistently being thrown back at the dialogue on screen. Some stuck and some didn’t. Luckily I got out of there before throwing toast and hotdogs started happening.

One night, after discussing how ridiculous it was that this was our entire social life, Anna and I decided to see another film. Had it been better – I believe it was The Excorcist 2; the title says it all – maybe we wouldn’t have still ended up at RHPS, but we did. By this time, we were getting in for free, although I have a ribbon with hundreds of ticket stubs attached to it. The film was already in progress, and as we approached the balcony stairs, there was a literal wall of smoke. We sat on the steps (breaking another fire code, I’m sure), spending another Saturday night the way we always did.

Probably about a year in, the floor show started to gain more prominence. The film itself started to gain more prominence. It had also lost a certain amount of spontaneity. It became kind of how socialism is good in theory, but someone always wants more and turns it into communism. A few people wanted to take charge of something that had taken flight from a genuine want to make the audience equal with the film. Individuality — don’t dream it, be it – was what the movie was all about for me, and it was time to move along.

Anna and I did attend one of the anniversaries, where our picture was also taken for Sal Piro’s book, Creatures of the Night. A great read – I highly recommend it, as well as his sequel.  Although our perspectives differ somewhat, it’s a wonderful depiction of the phenomenon that RHPS became. He certainly doesn’t mention weed – and for all I know, he was squeaky clean back then; we didn’t really hang out together – and that was a big part of it. Hey, it was a big part of the 70s.

I’ve had a bootleg copy since the first one was made, but there’s nothing like seeing it on the big screen with those who are like-minded. Before I moved away from the city, Sal called and asked me to come to an anniversary event (the 20th?). Since my husband was a “virgin,” I thought it would be fun. And it was, but in some ways, it had already become homogenized. Little bags of props were being sold, along with rice for the wedding in the beginning. The audience also seemed to have a comeback for every line in the film. To me, this lessened the experience of the movie itself. If everyone was just waiting for their cue, how could they be comprehending what was on screen?

I can assure you, I’ve never once introduced myself like I need a 12-step program. Hello. I’m Theresa and I started the Rocky Horror Show cult. Although it has bumped into me along the way. Like the night at karaoke when it came up in conversation. This led to someone thinking I was making it up. Now there was a surprise. Who in their right mind would make something like that up? If I was going to choose my 15 minutes, it wouldn’t have been that. But to save my reputation, I brought  Sal’s book with me the next time I was there. Even after all these years, it’s obvious that’s me. The even weirder thing was, someone mentioned it to the KJ who was working the sound. It turned out he was there at the Waverly back in the day. Talk about a small world.

I was almost at the 40th anniversary in Manhattan this weekend, but decided to write this instead and save my money for Halloween. Seeing it was sold out, I shot an email to the person in charge, asking for them to take pity on a RHPS “pioneer” (Sal’s term), and writing a little anecdote, along with a copy of the picture from the book. I could have heard an internet pin drop. They replied, but what they said was it was sold out, but I could get tickets for the midnight show at the Ziegfeld and sent me a link to the movie theatre. Ouch! Not even a nice-to-meet-you.

I got a follow up email, telling me someone was looking to sell their weekend pass, but I decided to take a pass, telling them thanks, but no thanks.

And with that, I officially retire my corset.

Sep26

September 25, 2015 — Twice the GH & Blaster Zombies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital – Part 1 — Thursday

Why did Carly just say that Ava got pregnant on purpose? She wasn’t there, but I was, and I distinctly remember that scene in the mausoleum. It was pretty much a surprise to both parties and the audience. Nice try.

You’d think just hearing “Jason” every five minutes would have cured “Jake’s” amnesia by now.  He and Elizabeth have set a November 6 date for their wedding, which is the same date she asked him to move in with her. Hmmm…maybe this will end up being a wedding reveal

It’s Sam & Jason’s anniversary, so to celebrate, she wants to hunt down whoever shot Sonny.

Ava has a court order to reinstate her parental rights, so lots of back and forth with her and Carly in the community center hospital. Stop acting so smug, Morgan.  You certainly didn’t care so much about this when you were busy ripping off “Denise’s” clothes. Morgan once again becomes the voice of reason and tells Carly that she needs to hand Avery over, or she’ll be in violation of the court order. Which no one has actually looked at, so it could be a take-out menu for all they know. (It isn’t. I’m just sayin’.)

Is it me, or are they using some really crappy foundation makeup on this show lately? I’m not saying they need to look perfect (Eastenders, anyone?), but that’s the goal on American soaps, so unless this is some new angle, they’re failing miserably. This is also the downside of HDTV. You can see every nostril hair on everyone.

Paul gives Alexis his I’m-only-in-it-for-the-nobility song and dance. And she believes it. I’m wondering how Alexis even made it to the age that she is, since her gullibility is off the charts. She returns to Julian in her happy place, telling him Paul is “cautiously open-minded” about Julian’s innocence and makes noises about him being a good guy. Meanwhile, Paul is on the phone to Ava plotting Sonny’s demise.

Ha-ha! Baby Avery does not want to leave those gorgeous earrings of Ava’s alone. Having been a mother before, she should know better than to wear danglers while holding an infant. They’ve finally taken a look at it, and the court order says Ava has to give the custodial parent (i.e. Sonny, no, not you, Carly) 24 hours notice before taking her, so for now Ava leaves her with Carly, who will have to break that news to Sonny.

Once again, I’m astounded at baby Avery’s acting skills. Normally, I respond to children on soaps like W.C. Fields, but this one is impressive. The next Starr or Robin maybe?

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Just a note about Watch What Happens Live – What horrifying thing is Pam Anderson wearing? Did she make that herself?

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General Hospital – Part 2 – Friday

I’m assuming for some reason they’re not allowed to use flashbacks with Steve Burton, since we just saw the back of “Jake’s” head in one.  Um…wouldn’t he be looking like his old self, pre plastic surgery, in these memories? Speaking of which, when Jake first showed up, there was a Helena Cassadine tie-in, and it was assumed he learned his tricks of the trade from her, but is no one interested as to how he ended up with her in the first place? I somehow don’t think I’d just be shrugging that off.

“How funny,” Jake says, “that I just had one of your memories, Sam!” He didn’t really say that, but he might as well have.

Baby Avery continues to blow my mind. I love how Sonny is going on about Ava having killed Connie, like he’s squeaky clean. Michael and Morgan continue to hang out in the hospital waiting room, and now Ric has joined them. Why no one has fired him for incompetence yet, I’ll never know. I wouldn’t let this guy represent the squirrel who’s been getting in my bird feeder. On top of it, no one seems to know how the court system works, least of all, Ric.

Cool! Ava is going to represent at a mob sit down. Apparently, the other mob bosses want answers about Sonny’s shooting. Not that I have any experience with this, but you’d think they’d have infiltrators who gather that sort of information. Frankly, I think that Sonny just imports really good coffee and they like sitting down for a klatch.  Ric wants to go to the sit down too, because, coffee.

Morgan wants to go too. They must also serve doughnuts. Or maybe BLTs from Kelly’s. Don’t these people have somewhere else to have a conversation? Now it looks like they’re in some utility room.

Boy, is Elizabeth pushing Patrick to push Sam into marriage. Even Patrick is wondering why.

Sam pulls out those dragon knickknacks that she carries everywhere with her. And “Jake” eats them. Sorry, but this is getting boring unless he’s going to remember who he is.

I feel sorry for that unknown guy who’s been guarding Sonny’s door. It’s a thankless job for sure.

Paul, who looks like every arrogant executive I’ve ever known, tells Ava that she has to set up Julian to take the fall for Sonny’s shooting. I’m not too sure why any of the other “bosses” would even care, since they all were after Sonny at some point. Oh come on! Nobody talks like these mob guys. Not in 2015. The writers must have used The Godfather as a reference.

Oh, this is really nice. Just as Ava sits down at the table, ABC breaks in to give me an update on the Pope. I so appreciate this. I have nothing against him, and actually like him, but they couldn’t wait one freaking minute? And once again to show nothing. It’s not even like he’s pontificating or something. He’s not even on the screen. Heaving huge sigh and emailing ABC.

Z Nation

Murphy has the best of both worlds, but I guess also the worst. He’s somewhat immortal and has certain powers, but he can still enjoy things like food and sex. On the other hand, like Ives said in Ravenous, “It’s lonely being a cannibal. It’s tough making friends.”

I just thought I saw an homage to Death Proof – the way we saw a car going by in the distance – but maybe I just watch too much of this stuff. Who the hell remembers how a car looked passing by?

Operation Bite Mark comes across a convoy of trucks and tanks, who have been ambushed by some renegades and a mini-war is on. You’d think, as with The Walking Dead, that any living humans would band together and FA. After the dust settles, it turns out the convoy is a group transporting survivors to Edmonton, where it’s cold, which the zombies hate. They’ve been poisoned by the radiation and some are on the verge of dying. OBM is invited along and decide to join up. For now. Roberta tells Addy that the truck with the dying people is “a zombie bomb waiting to go off.”

One of the group claims to have some good “seaweed,” so Murphy and Doc join him in his car to go back to the 70s. Seaweed guy mentions that zombies are being used as compost where the weed is grown, which gives Murphy pause while smoking the joint. Are they smoking zombies? Yuk! I’d rather eat those insect protein bars from Snowpiercer. Murphy and Doc are now high as kites.

Apparently, the radiated zombies (called “blasters”) hunt in packs, are very fast and only eat brains. Zombie subculture. The first truck is magnificent, with all kinds of shields and pointy things, a silver buck’s head, and a zombie head on the front, and a tattered American flag up top. Uh-oh. Murphy is getting Cassandra high. No good can come of this.

No good is coming from them meeting up with the renegades again either. My first heart attack of the night is when they surround Doc and his new seaweed buddy, who have taken the car they were smoking in. Cassandra comes to the rescue, and they ditch the car. The leader of the caravan, Custer, isn’t happy about the renegades stealing it. Murphy is getting some really bad vibes and sure enough, some blasters pop out of nowhere. This show is so relentless!

Murphy tries to tap into the zombies’ minds, but it’s not working the way it usually does and they all make a dash for the truck. In the meantime, Custer argues with Roberta over going back for the car, and it turns out that their entire water supply was in it.  Custer blames seaweed guy for the whole fiasco, and makes him get in the back of the bus truck with the radiated regular people. These blasters are pretty scary, since they move fast and weirdly.  They remind of something out of the old Creepy comic books.

Commercial break. It’s those Yellow Labs in the Subaru. If all commercials were like that, I’d watch them. Once again Crimson Peak looks amazing. Even if the story ends up stinking, it looks like it’s worth seeing for the cinematography.

They find the car and Cassandra along with it. She’s dispatched the car jackers. While Custer is arguing (again) with Roberta about who’s going to drive what, Murphy takes off with Cassandra in the car. Addy finds out that Custer’s son is one of the radiated people in the back of the last truck.

Here it comes….ohshitohshitohshitohshit…..

Custer’s son has died and is now a zombie, and zombified the others riding with him, except for Addy, who is shooting at the group of blasters quickly catching up on foot from behind. I told you they were fast. Addy is totally surrounded.

10K pulls her up and over the truck cab – there are zombies crawling all over the place now, and the live people are maneuvering all around. This is all just crazy. They come across a wall of furniture that’s been set on fire by the zombies. Does this mean they can reason? Or at least build a wall and set it on fire? Custer doesn’t want anyone else to drive his truck, but he’s fading fast and Roberta shares the wheel, helping to knock the main zombie off of the truck and into the wheel action underneath. Nice. OBM, following Roberta’s lead, collectively leap off the truck. It’s kind of sad, as Custer is left alone in a truck covered with zombies. We don’t actually see him die, but trust me, he’s dead.

Murphy has decided to take a road trip with Cassandra and seaweed guy. Seaweed guy has told Murphy that the place where the weed was from is an old GMO lab where they’re also trying to find an herbal cure for the zombie condition. So they head for Minneapolis. The rest of OBM will no doubt be following them.

Where was Citizen Z this week???

I’m surprised the Parents Television Council isn’t all over this show. Don’t get me wrong. I agree with them on a lot of things, and maybe the day will come when we can just pay for individual networks, but I also want more sophisticated entertainment than what’s on the Hallmark channel.

BTW, the Sy – we can’t spell – Fy channel tells me that this isn’t a TV show, it’s “an experience.”

Sep21

September 20, 2015 — The Dead & the Doctors

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Fear the Walking Dead

Lou Reed’s Perfect Day starts things off.  I love that song! I miss Lou…I miss the 70s…but I miss the 80s more. I also miss I Am Cait being on Sunday night, and I’m hoping it comes back for another season.

The neighborhood has been turned into an internment camp and everyone is fenced in.  Travis is all, let’s trust the government, but Madison keeps trying to tell him something isn’t right, especially since there’s no electricity or phone service. He comes up with some lame reasoning for every point she makes. Travis looks thinner too, so nobody is getting fed either or maybe Madison is a lousy cook.

Travis’s son, Chris, has also seen what may or may not be some kind of signal coming from the demilitarized zone. Travis doesn’t want to hear about it, but Madison is paying attention. Pretty much a typical couple.

Lt. Moyers (head National Guard guy) is playing golf outside the fence. What is it with golf on these zombie shows? Although I guess if a zombie tries to blow your shot, you can always whack them in the head with the club. It’s not looking good when Travis asks him what’s up. Moyers seems to think the people inside the fence are nothing but a nuisance, and I’m pretty sure he has an itchy trigger finger.

Dubious “health screenings” are being done, and a government doctor (Dr. Exnor) has come to see the barber’s wife (sounds like a Canterbury Tale – The Government Doctor & The Barber’s Wife) and wants to take her in “for surgery.” Daniel the barber is skeptical and says he’ll be going with her. There’s no argument from the doctor, and I’m thinking they’re both going to their deaths. Madison sneaks out, cutting through the fence. I’m kind of surprised she was able to escape so early on, since you’d think the guards haven’t had time to get lackadaisical yet. A military patrol comes by and she hides under a car.

In the demilitarized zone, there are a lot of shrines and missing person posters that remind me of NYC just after the World Trade Center attack and my stomach flips a little. After passing those, Madison sees a load of dead bodies. And they’re not zombies.

Daniel talks about how there would be people taken from his town periodically when he was a child. His father has told him that men do evil because of fear, but Daniel isn’t having any today. He tells Madison, who has returned from her trip outside, that if he doesn’t come back to take care of his daughter, and to be prepared because things will happen quickly once they get going.

Getting the old lady out of bed is an arduous task. Instead of taking Daniel with her, they grab Nick. A struggle ensues, but Nick gets hauled away. Madison is pretty pissed off, and at Travis too, since he’s such a freaking idiot, and believes the government involvement is actually going to improve things.

Oddly enough, for a zombie show, it was nothing of the kind tonight. Not necessarily a bad thing. Just sayin’.

Married to Medicine

I’ve said it before, that I will watch pretty much anything in regard to reality TV. I don’t always stick it out though. I loved The Real World the first several seasons, before it degenerated into drinking and hot tub sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but who wants to watch other people doing it? Seriously, it started off as an interesting glimpse into the world of just moving away from home to the big city. The cast had jobs, took classes, and we actually got to see some of whatever city it was through their eyes. Then, like Jerry Springer before them, MTV discovered there was a world of ratings in people debasing themselves. I haven’t watched it in a long time. For a while, I’d check in every so often, to see if anything had changed. It hadn’t.

I also tried to watch The Jersey Shore. I might have even made it all the way through the first season. Then it was just the same old and I stopped watching. Occasionally, I would forget why I stopped, tune in again, see Sammi and Ronnie either breaking or making up, remember, and tune back out. The only show that turned me off completely was The Littlest Groom, sort of a little person Bachelor. After about a half hour, the emphasis was so heavy on the sexual aspect, I got uncomfortable. It seemed geared toward fetishists and certainly not dignified. I didn’t make it through the first episode. While I don’t think The Bachelor/Bachelorette shows are very dignified either, I was able to take a couple of seasons of each.

I said all this to say, I watch Married to Medicine, but I’m starting to wonder why. A couple of the women seem normal, mostly Dr. Jacquie and Dr. Simone, but what up with these girls? Pretty much all they do is fight, call each other stupid bitches and ho’s, and create chaos. It’s a step above Bad Girls (ok, I do check that out sporadically, but I don’t kid myself that it’s anything other than a boxing match) and these are supposed to be doctors and doctors’ wives. Aren’t they embarrassed???

The first season, I saw two of them go at it physically, and I was like, whoa, are they married to the medicine they’re taking?

So that’s why I’ve never said anything about it. I don’t even know what to say.

Sep19

September 18, 2015 — GH & Zombies on the Run

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Ava asks Scotty how this could have happened. Judging by the flimsy door and lock, does she really need to ask? Ha-ha! Scotty is trying to say she still owes him the money. For what? He has no evidence anymore.

It’s the usual revolving door in the ICU.

Dillon has had a “cease and desist” letter about his film project. He needs yet one more permit. This isn’t surprising, since they live in the NYC/NJ area where everyone is fee’d to death. My problem here though, is that all he’s doing is holding auditions right now, so cease and desist what? Someone is jumping the shark or in this case, the cease and desist letter. Mayor Lomax’s signature is on the letter and Paul says he went to law school with her, and she’s always been both ambitious and ethically challenged. I’m geographically challenged, so please don’t ask me for any directions or even to name all the states.

Morgan can’t wait any longer, and is moving on from Julian’s place to hunt him down. Meanwhile, Carly and Michael are going slightly bonkers because they’re worried about him. Julian is with Alexis at her place and they’re planning on taking off to some cabin somewhere. As they leave, TJ emerges from…the bathroom? How come no one knew he was there? At any given time, I can guarantee that I know how many people (and dogs) are in my house. In Port Charles, nobody ever knows who’s lurking around where, but if you’re looking for someone, check the hospital. Lots of people like to wander around there.

Emma (another kid I love, even though I don’t love kids on soaps) has given Patrick a worry doll for his birthday. He’s going to be lending that out a lot. A low key birthday party is going on with Emma, Danny, Anna and Sam in attendance.

What the what? TJ is taking the info about the cabin. Why? Brilliant of them to just leave it there out in the open too. Oops! He runs into Morgan as he’s leaving. Once again, Morgan doesn’t want to take “no” for an answer and asks TJ another 12 times if he knows who shot Sonny. TJ doesn’t buy what Morgan is selling (i.e. that he’s there to find Alexis so she can help one of her many daughters) and Morgan has to admit why he’s really there. Apparently, in all the confusion, someone has forgotten to sign the commitment papers for him.

Oh no! Ava is changing her hair back to blonde, even though she looks smashing as a brunette. She’s also going to give herself a haircut. This is never a good idea IRL, but I’m sure the miracle of television will make it look like she went to a salon. “Denise” was actually supposed to be a hairdresser, so there’s some kind of irony here.

Paul calls Mayor Lomax to chat her up. She had a crush on him in law school and he gets her to retract the letter. Since it looked like Tracy and Paul were on the verge of rekindling their relationship, she is not too happy that the mayor has also asked to meet with Paul.

Morgan is nowhere to be found and Michael says that’s okay, even though he’s gunning for Julian, he won’t do anything stupid. Because, you know, he has the reputation of being completely level-headed.

Yep, perfect haircut on Ava. It looks like she has lowlights too. Whatever coloring product she used must be amazing. And quick, since this all took about five minutes. Fast birthday party also. Sam is already cleaning up. She’s given Patrick a guitar as a gift. Does this mean we’re putting on another show? It must have been what he really wanted, since he asks Sam to marry him.

Wow. The cabin looks just like both Alexis’s and Julian’s apartments. No surprise, after getting into his Star Trek transporter, Morgan shows up.

Z Nation

Now that Citizen Z’s compound has pretty much been blown apart, he has a lot more to worry about than the cosmonaut in his head. Because of the blast, a plane crashed nearby and zombies have been let loose in the North Pole. Please, oh please, don’t let anything happen to him and especially not to Pup. Unfortunately, in his zeal to try and keep Murphy safe, he’s created a whole host of other problems for our friends (otherwise known as Operation Bite Mark).

Zombies driving cars! Everyone is after Murphy (or “The Murphy,” as he’s being called by some), including a group who look like they’re part of a drug cartel and another who seem like hillbillies – they don’t want the bounty, they want to kill Murphy for sport. Everyone is shooting the place up and these ain’t your mother’s zombies. No matter how you die, you’ll turn into one. And God only knows what kind of zombies those nuclear bombs created. Operation Bite Mark is after Murphy too, and so far is surviving. A guy who looks like Pablo Escobar shoots Murphy, but then is shot by some random woman. Murphy asks her for help and she responds by shooting him in the stomach. I’m guessing she’s after the reward, but as she moves toward him, kind-of-zombie Cassandra grabs her from behind. Bye-bye. Cassandra also sees 10K, named for the amount of zombies he wants to kill, but leaves him alone.

I spend a lot of this show going, ohshitohshitohshit in my head and I’m doing it right now. I can’t imagine this episode ending without us losing someone. Shooting and running and zombies, oh my! Maybe Murphy should lose the disco coat he’s wearing so he can blend in better. He runs for cover into a hotel and is being trailed by his kind-of-zombie-girlfriend Cassandra, as well as a small band of “Zs.” Honestly, if this wasn’t so serious, it would seem like a Marx Brothers movie. The effects aren’t grandiose, but perfectly executed, and the scenes seem more intense because there is no background music – just the sounds of quiet running and breathing.

10K has lost his hearing from being too close to an explosion, and that doesn’t bode well for being on the defense, especially since he now tends to shout at inopportune times. Oooh, in a smart move, Murphy has given the disco jacket to another zombie.

Hillbilly Guy has found the room Murphy is hiding in, but doesn’t see him because Murphy is in the closet. In an earlier episode, Murphy discovered that he can not only control the zombies somewhat through thoughts, but can also tap into humans. I can’t be positive this is what he’s doing, but he stares hard through the door slats at Hillbilly Guy, who stops looking for him and turns his attention (and gun) to the window. Doc and 10K have also shown up, and 10K covers Doc while he gets into the hotel. Coming up behind Hillbilly Guy, Doc’s gun jams (my freakin’ heart!) and he throws it at Hillbilly Guy, making him drop his. Murphy, please come out of that closet – and I don’t mean that as a euphemism for anything.

A lot of back and forth fighting ensues, and I almost thought we were going to lose Doc as Hillbilly Guy is strangling him, but Doc has an out of body moment and sees a weapon at the top of the closet that he’s able to knock down before he’s knocked out, and kills Hillbilly Guy. Murphy dashes out, bidding Doc farewell. Gee, thanks for the help.

I swear if I don’t have a heart attack by the end of this episode, I’ll never have one.

The name of the episode is White Light, and there are weird glimpses into everyone’s childhood as they each have near death experiences. I’m not sure what this vehicle is being used for exactly. If anything.

Roberta, who has just missed getting killed by Hillbilly Guy 2, finds Murphy on the roof of the building. He jumps off, into a pool loaded with zombies, but since he heals pretty easily, walks out and is off like a dirty pair of underwear (as my dad used to say). Head Cartel Guy is watching everything from another roof, and covers what is possibly a bite mark on his wrist. (We also see he has a “Z” tattoo on his hand.) Murphy steals (is there such a thing as stealing anymore?) a car and tries to book, but Addy drags his ass out of it. Her anger is understandable, since she has just had to “give mercy” – a nice way of saying shoot in the head – to Mack, her kind-of-boyfriend and closest confidante, who had gotten locked in a stairwell full of zombies. If it hadn’t been for Murphy running in the first place, none of this would have happened. After Addy nearly beats Murphy to a pulp, Roberta asks where Mack is. Superb acting job here, as there is no dialogue, only exchanged glances, and the glances say everything.

In a way, it’s nice to see Citizen Z get some action and beat the crap out of some zombies. Apparently video games aren’t all bad. He seems prepared for this moment. The absence of Pup is making me nervous though. I’m also kind of sad that the compound got trashed. It was such an amazing place.

This show is relentless and fierce and funny, and is some of the most enjoyable television I’ve ever seen.

In playing “Six Degrees of Separation” with my entertainment, I just read that Game of Thrones author, George R.R. Martin, has confirmed that he will be appearing on the show as his zombie self signing his own books. How freaking cool is that? Nice plug too!