What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Valentin wants to explain to Nina why he’s involved with Cassandra.

Monica tells Anna and Jordan that Andre abandoned his job without so much as a resignation letter. Jordan tells Anna there’s an APB out for him in connection with the Jason Morgan case.

Diane tells Carly that she can’t do anything until Jason tells her to. Carly is disappointed. She leaves, and Diane thinks she doesn’t have the pull she used to with him. Alexis sits down and asks her how Nora came to defend Olivia-J. Diane asks why and Alexis says it’s complicated. Diane is like, seriously?

Real Jason watches Sam from the balcony. He almost walks in, but Other Jason comes home. He talks sweet talk to Sam, and Real Jason comes busting in, telling him get away, and shoots him. Sam asks what had he done, and says she loves Other Jason. Real Jason wakes up yelling her name, and wonders what he’s supposed to do.

Sam asks where Other Jason was last night.

Nina says infidelity is a deal breaker. Valentin says he isn’t being unfaithful, but Nina says his lips were on his hers. He says hers were on his; there’s a difference. When she told him she was in town, he knew he had to meet her, and tell her his life has changed. They’d barely exchanged pleasantries when she kissed him, and Nelle must have been there with her camera. Nina says he could have pushed her off, but he says she’s a complicated part of his past. She’s accepted he’s not available, but she’s not going anywhere. He has to work with her.

Diane asks for one reason Alexis would want that information. She thinks Scotty tried to manipulate Alexis, begging her to visit Julian, where he’d tug at her heartstrings, and she’d get involved in the appeal, looking for details that chowderhead (meaning Scotty) missed. Alexis says she did visit Julian. He’d been attacked, and was bruised with broken bones. He’s going to get himself killed if someone doesn’t do something. Diane says that man nearly destroyed her.

Anna asks if Jordan thinks Andre knew something, and Jordan says according to Franco. He was going to therapy, and Andre provided a death certificate for Andrew. Anna says it was obviously forged, and wonders what Andre is covering up. Jordan tells her that’s why she has an APB out. Anna feels sorry for the Jasons. She knows what it’s like to be confronted with a twin. She wonders if Andre knows who is who.

Other Jason – okay, lets’ start calling him Andrew, because I will totally flip out if he’s not – tells Sam he had a lot to think about. Sam asks if he came to any conclusions. He says he may have twin, but he’s not taking his life. He asks if Sam is with him, and she says of course. He tells her it’s going to be a fight. Sonny and Carly are backing his brother. Sam asks what if he doesn’t pursue it, and Andrew thinks he wouldn’t be there otherwise. It doesn’t matter if he’s crazy or lying. He’s coming after everything Andrew loves, and rest assured he’s not letting him do it. He says, that face. People look at him and think he’s Jason. He can’t prove it because he’s Jason Morgan, her husband.

Carly knocks at Jason’s door. When he answers, she hugs him.

Nina asks if Valentin is going to rob jewelry stores, and split the profits with Cassandra between kisses. He says no kissing and no robbing, and explains that Cassandra is dealing in synthetic opioids. Nina says he’d never be a drug trafficker, no matter how much money is involved. He says it’s not the money; it’s the only way to stop her – take her down from the inside.

Alexis says Julian didn’t ask to see her, and was upset that Scotty told her about him being roughed up. Julian wouldn’t even talk about the attack. Diane says he wants Alexis to forget and move on, and Alexis says, more or less. Diane thinks he’s either pushing her away, so she does the opposite, or he’s sincere. If Julian is a good man, she should honor his sacrifice, and if he’s bad, she should refuse to fall into the trap. Take him at his word, forget, and move on. Alexis says if dies, and she could have done something, she’ll never forgive herself.

Sam says Jason has no documents to prove who he is. How can he lay claim to Aurora? Andrew doesn’t think he’s after the company, but Sonny will advise him to. He wants the guy to be him, the way he used to be. He couldn’t give Sonny more, but Sonny thinks this guy will. Before they end up in court, he needs to get the company up and going, so it will be harder to challenge. Sam says even if his brother doesn’t exist from a legal standpoint, they share DNA, and share the same family.

Carly tells Jason it will be a while before stops hugging him. He tells her it’s okay; he likes that she’s glad to see him. He’s glad to see her. She says without him helping her navigate life, and catching her when she falls, she missed him all the time. He tells her that he’s sorry he wasn’t there. Carly tells him now she has to clean up the messes she made. She handed his life to someone else. Jason says he has a twin brother; now everything makes sense. She says no matter how much she wanted it to be true, not once did she look in his eyes and see Jason’s eyes looking back. If she’d had the courage to face it, he wouldn’t be in this situation, watching Sam go home with Andrew. Jason says Sam loves him, and he can’t move against him without hurting her. He won’t do that.

Nina says, so Valentin is just pretending he’s working with Cassandra while he’s servicing his own agenda. Valentin says he’s no expert on ethics and morals, but Cassandra has money; this is only greed on her part. Nina says she deserves what she gets, but there’s a flaw in his plan. He’s going undercover with no credentials. Valentin tells her that he’s serving in an unofficial capacity to the agent in charge – Anna.

Carly tells Jason that Diane is waiting at the MetroCourt. She’s waiting on fingerprint records, but there’s some question about the federal one. The good news is, he’s been arrested more than fifty times. Ha-ha! Jason doesn’t care; he’s just happy to be home. He tells Carly to just think of another name for him, but not Andrew. She says he should be fighting for his own name, and fighting for Sam. Jason tells her that he had a nightmare. He dreamt that he saw Sam and Andrew together, and shot him. He was dying, and Sam was next to him, saying she loved him. Carly says it sounds awful, but it was just a dream. He doesn’t want Sam caught in middle. Carly says she is, and the only way out is to make a real choice. His brother has to accept who he is, and Sam has to decide if she wants to be with him or him, the real and only Jason Morgan.

There’s a knock at door, and Carly answers, even though it’s Jason’s room. It’s Monica, who asks if it’s the wrong time. Carly says she was just leaving. She asks Jason to please talk to Diane. Monica doesn’t want to intrude; she just wants to look at him. She’s so happy to see him.

Andrew says he hopes when Sam says sharing a family, she means the Quartermaines. He’s not sharing his wife and kids. He babbles unreasonably, and Sam says it’s Sonny they’re really fighting. Even if Sonny wants his brother to be him, he won’t put the kids in the mix. When Sonny sees something he wants, he goes for it. Andrew thinks they should adopt his tactics, starting with Aurora. He’s interviewing for a CEO today. Sam looks at the resume, and tells Andrew to be tough on him. He promises they’ll keep everything that’s theirs. He leaves, and Sam flashes back to her and Jason when we were all practically children.

Carly knocks on the door. She asks if he’s here, and Sam says no. She says good. She needs to talk to her about Jason.

Andrew meets with the potential CEO, Peter. He asks how Peter became available just when they were looking for someone with his background.

Alexis tells Diane that she went to Llanview, hoping for access to Olivia-J, but Nora stonewalled her, saying it wasn’t in her client’s best interest. Diane says any competent attorney would have done the same. She hates to admit it, but Nora is extremely competent. Alexis wonders who she’s billing it to. He siblings wouldn’t be paying, and it can’t be pro bono, since Nora is in a different state. Who would pay a heavy-hitter like Nora to defend Olivia, and why?

Peter tells Andrew that things were unhappy at the company, and he was offered a golden parachute. He was ready for a change, found out the media company had a new owner, and thought it was the perfect opportunity. Andrew asks what he knows about the company, and Peter says it was brutally mismanaged. The only consistent performer is Crimson, but he thinks with work and a coherent business plan, it can turn around. He says it was a good idea to change the name. He asks if Andrew is actually Jason Morgan. Oddly, Andrew doesn’t knock over any tables.

Monica is surprised to see Jason is there. She thought he’d be at Sonny’s. He says he wanted to be on his own, and she says he’s always been independent. Susan is dead, and Heather is evil, and it’s he fault he and his brother grew up apart. They’re lives would have been different if they’d known. Jason says he doesn’t know about Andrew, but likes his life. The only thing he wishes went differently was his unfairness to the family, especially her. She says he was confused, and they didn’t handle it right. They were all wrong. She tells him that she doesn’t know how to act or what to say. He says she doesn’t have to know. He knows she loves him, and he loves her too. They hug.

Nina thinks Valentin has more of a desire to work closely with Anna than stopping the drug trade. He tells her that he’d turned Anna down when she asked. Nina wonders what changed his mind, and he says her and Charlotte. Cassandra orchestrated their meeting, and it was a warning shot. She can take away what he loves. It was an implied threat, and he has to act. He can’t eliminate her; it would only create more problems than it would solve. He has to bring her down. As far as Cassandra knows, he’s under her thumb. Nina says to be clear, she hates the idea of him working with Anna with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns, but it’s necessary. Valentin says maybe it’s fair that the past bit him, but he’s sorry she has to be dragged in to the mess. She says apology accepted on one condition – he let her help. She thinks she’s in the perfect position to manipulate Cassandra. Valentin says he can’t forbid her to do anything, but he’d rather kill Cassandra than let her go near Nina. She and Charlotte are his life. He can handle anything if they’re safe. Nina tells him okay; be careful, and no unnecessary contact with Anna. He promises there won’t be, and she leaves for work.

Jason tells Monica not to worry, but she says she does, and worries about Andrew too. He’s been wonderful; open and accepting, and they kind of have a bond. Jason says Andrew is easier than him. Monica says, no, they’re different, but she loves them both very much. She knows it will take time to sort things out, and could be a painful journey. She hopes at the end they can be brothers. He’s not sure that’s possible, but she says he kind of has a gift for making the impossible possible. She leaves, and he heaves a sigh, as the returned Jason is wont to do.

Peter says that Andrew bought the company under the name of Jason Morgan. Andrew says there’s no question about his legal identity, but he did have a twin that surfaced. There are rumblings that he might go after what’s his, but the company belongs to him and his wife, and he has every intention of keeping it. They shake hands.

Diane mentions to Alexis that Charlotte’s custody hearing was the same day as Olivia’s hearings. Alexis thinks it’s no coincidence. If Valentin’s lawyer defended Olivia, it’s because he wanted her to. She leaves, and Andrew approaches. He says he’s sure Diane has heard about his twin. He needs to cut him off at the pass before he comes after the company. Diane says she called him because she’s resigning as his attorney. It’s a conflict of interest. She can’t defend his claim that he’s Jason Morgan, because she doesn’t believe he is.

Sam tells Carly to skip it; she already knows what Carly is going to say. Carly tells her she can’t stand by and watch Sam make a mistake. She owes her an apology. She wanted Andrew to be Jason so bad, she pressured him to be someone else, and pressured Sam to accept it. Andrew is a good man, but not Jason. Deep down, Sam knows it. Carly rationalized and made excuses, but that stopped working when she saw him again. She’d thought Sonny had lost his mind, until she saw him and knew. She’d know him anywhere, and so does Sam. She says when Sam looked in eyes, she knew in her heart and soul. The only reason she’s not saying it is out of loyalty to the man she slept with last night. Sam says she didn’t sleep with anyone last night.

Anna tells Jordan that Andre was working on a way to copy a person’s memory and place it in someone else. Jordan thinks that’s disturbing, but Anna says it’s a useful application, even though the ethics are indefensible. The WSB wouldn’t follow through with it, so Andre left. Jordan asks if Anna thinks he pursued it, and Anna says that would explain things.

We see Andre’s passport.

Alexis visits Valentin. She tells him that she needs information. He asks if they’re on speaking terms, and she asks what his association with Olivia-J is.

Nina calls Cassandra. She tells her that she had a cancellation, and asks if she wants to meet at the MetroCourt.

Andrew tells Diane it didn’t take long. If she turns over any of his records to his twin, he’ll have her disbarred. She says his records are sealed, and she’s sending them over to him. He tells her to warn her client to stay away from his family. She says her client is Jason Morgan, and she looks forward to proving it. He tells her to go to hell. Andrew runs into Jason coming out of the elevator, and tells him that his lawyer is waiting.

Diane tells Jason that she just informed his brother that she intends to prove he’s Jason Morgan, and he’s not happy. Jason says it’s just a name. He doesn’t want anyone hurt over this. She says speaking as a lawyer, from what she remembers, he’s a rare client who actually listens, and takes advice. She wants to work in his best interest, but he says he’s worried about Sam’s best interest. She tells him that his name and assets are under a cloud right now, and when he has the legal rights, he can do what he wants, and can sign them over to Sam. He asks what he needs to do, and she tells him to think back to the first time he was arrested in 1996. She needs to subpoena the files

Sam tells Carly that Andrew never came to bed last night. He was strategizing on how to fight her and Sonny. He’s afraid his best friends will take everything away, including her, and hand it over to someone else. Carly says it’s not up to her. She knows Sam’s the one who has to make choice, and she’s sorry for that. Andrew is going to fight, but Jason won’t; it’s not in his nature, and she knows it. He’s just going to step back and wait; be there when she needs him, and back off when she doesn’t. He thinks that’s what will make her happy, and that’s all that matters to him, but it won’t make her happy in her heart. Andrew is a good man and loves her, but Jason owns her heart and soul, and she owns his. It will be the hardest thing she’s ever done, but the best thing for everyone, especially Andrew. Carly leaves, and Sam remembers old stuff again. She’s drunk, and wants to dance with Jason. They fall on floor, and she kisses him.

Tomorrow, Nathan tells Amy to take her own advice, Lulu has great news, Scotty tells Julian they need a miracle to get him out, and Nina knows Cassandra lied.

If Loving You is Wrong

Lushion tells Natalie that the gun was stolen. She says it doesn’t make any sense. He wants her to find out where the gun came from – now. Natalie thought she was legit, but he tells her not to give the number out again. She calls, but the number is out of service. Lushion asks if she knows how this looks for Kelly; like she stole Ramsey’s gun to kill him. The DA will be all over it. He says they’re going over there right now. They go outside, and see Travis lurking around Kelly’s house.

Lushion ask where he’s coming from and what he’s doing there. He stammers that he was stopping by, and Lushion tells him to come over there. He tells Natalie to get in the house. He asks what Travis was doing and he says knocking on the door. Lushion says the door is right there. Travis says she prefers him to go to the back. Lushion tells him not to move. He knocks on Kelly’s door. He asks if Travis was knocking, but she didn’t even know he was there. Travis tells her not to act like that, and she says she told him to stay away. Lushion asks if he doesn’t have a restraining order against her, and Travis says he does. Lushion asks why he’s hanging around then, and he says he’d heard she had trouble. Lushion tells him he’s under arrest. Travis asks if Lushion has any idea who his parents are. Lushion tells him to quit whining like a little bitch, cuffs him, and puts him in the car.

Lushion goes around back to check it out. Travis sits in the car laughing, because he’s batsh*t crazy. Kelly asks if he thinks it’s funny. He says she’s funny; all this is funny. He tells her that she’s going to jail for life. She messed with the wrong guy, leading him on and ignoring him. Kelly asks if that’s why he killed Ramsey, and called Justice. He pretends not to know what she’s talking about, and tells her she’ll wish she never met him. She already does, and he says she ain’t seen nothin’ yet. She tells him to give it his best shot. He says he did, but she couldn’t take it. Lushion tells her to go inside. He’s taking Travis in, and sending over a detective to look around.

Steven sits in his car outside of Esperanza’s house. She pulls up, and asks why he’s there. He tells her that he’s checking on her, and she says she already has one crazy ass showing up. Steven says he wanted to make sure she was okay, and he’s sorry. He knows how Eddie can get. Esperanza says he’d never touch her, so Steven can go. He asks if he can come in. He can help her clean up. She tells him that he created the mess, and he says it wasn’t his fault. She thinks it’s a ploy to get in the house, but he says no. He tells her she’s amazing, and they can finish what they started. She asks if it’s a marathon. She doesn’t know how they got here, but they don’t know each other. He tells her to ask him a question. She asks when her birthday is, and he knows. She asks what her favorite color is, and he says she doesn’t have one. She’s surprised, and he tells her that he knows by watching her. She says that’s creepy, and he says she wanted it just as bad as he did. She tells him they just work together. He asks again to come in, and she says, purple. He asks if that’s a yes, and when she got a favorite color. She tells him today, when she saw his underwear. He asks if he can please come in, and she closes the door.

Natalie – who never walks, but strides – goes over to Kelly’s house. She asks if Kelly is all right. Kelly wonders what she’s supposed to do. She can’t keep taking this anymore. Natalie says Lushion wants to tell her something about the gun, and Kelly asks her what it is. She says the gun was stolen, but she’d thought it was legit. Kelly says she’ll call, and Natalie tells her the number is disconnected. She says the bad part – Kelly is like, that’s not the bad part? – is that it was stolen from Ramsey. Kelly asks if Travis knew where it was stolen from, and how Natalie does. She says Natalie set her girl up, and Natalie promises to go by the gun seller’s house. Kelly quietly freaks.

Ian and Marcie go to dinner. She doesn’t believe he wanted to celebrate, and he says he likes her. He finds her very attractive. She thanks him, but says she’s not interested. He says it’s just a client/realtor dinner then. He jokingly asks what’s wrong with him? She says she just had enough with her ex relationship. He tells her okay, but he’s buying. She tells him that she doesn’t have much of an appetite. He asks if it’s the company, but she says it’s the ex company. He asks if he’s still bothering her, and says they can sue him. He’s sued people into submission using the law as a tool. She probably won’t win, but he’ll leave her alone. Marcie says he doesn’t know him. Ian’s phone rings. He says he’s at dinner, he doesn’t know the client, and to call Larry. They don’t know where he is, so Ian says call the client’s parents, and he’s on his way. After he hangs up, he tells Marcie it can wait. The client is a spoiled rich kid in trouble, and his parents pay them well. He wants to toast, and she says just water for her. He asks if she doesn’t drink, and she says not lately.

Lushion tells Travis quit playing with him. He plops Travis in a chair. Eddie gets in Lushion’s face. He’s angry because Lushion interfered with him walloping Steven. He says his tattoo is all over that broad. Lushion points out Travis, and asks if Eddie sees this fool. That’s what a stalker looks like, and he’ll be their next one. Eddie threatens Lushion and Steven, and Lushion tells him if he thinks he’s pulling anther Andrew, think again. Eddie says people disappear all the time, and to tell that punk if he touches Esperanza again, it’s his ass. Steven comes in, and Lushion says Eddie has something to tell him. Eddie tells Steven to watch his back, and Steven says he’d rather watch Esperanza’s. BA-DUM-CHH! Eddie says keep coming at her, and he’ll be sorry. He tells Steven that says they can wrap it up real quick mano a mano. Steven says he’ll meet him after the shift. Lushion tells them to go somewhere. Eddie leaves, and Steven asks if everything is okay here. Lushion says it is.

Lushion asks what Travis was doing in Kelly’s backyard. Travis says he already told him, but Lushion says he told him nothing. Travis asks why he should say anything without his lawyer. He asks if it isn’t the detectives who ask the questions? Lushion asks why he’s stalking Kelly, but Travis insists he’s not stalking anybody; she’s lying. He tells Lushion that Officer Dion knows the whole story. He asks if Lushion is on her side, and Lushion says maybe. Travis maintains he didn’t do anything. Lushion asks if he’s sure about that; she’s just lying about all of this? He tells Travis that he’s going to nail his ass to the wall. Travis asks for what, and Lushion says for what he’s been doing. Lushion wants to talk about Ramsey. Travis pretends not to know who that is, and Lushion says Travis murdered him. Travis says he’s a lover not a fighter. He’s a youth pastor, and thou shalt not kill. Lushion asks how he did it; how’d he take Ramsey down? Travis says he doesn’t know what Lushion is talking about. Lushion says Ramsey was a big guy with skills and moves, and Travis asks if he’s talking about the busted ass dude next door to Kelly. Lushion says the memories come flooding back, and asks again how he did it with no skills, not knowing how to fight, and looking bitchy. Travis says he can fight if the situation presents itself. Lushion asks how he took Ramsey down, and tells him that Justice had some interesting stories about how Ramsey died. Travis suggests maybe he did it. Lushion says maybe Travis called him and gave him the details. Travis wishes he could help.

Steve brings in Ian. Lushion says don’t tell him Ian is this kid’s lawyer. Ian calls Travis “Donovan Cain,” Lushion says his name is Travis, and Ian says he didn’t put it together, asking if this is the kid harassing Kelly. He’s not going to be able to rep her. His partner reps Travis’s family and church; he has no choice. They pay a lot to the firm. Lushion says it’s crazy. Ian tells him that he’s sorry, and takes Travis out. Steven says that’s messed up. Lushion says what’s messed up is what he’s doing to Kelly, and he’s not going to stop. He wants Steven to look up Donovan.

Alex and Brad watch TV. Someone bangs on the door. It’s Eddie, who walks right in. Brad says it’s late, get out, and pushes him out the door. Eddie tells him that Esperanza has lost her mind; she’s banging Steven, Brad says, sorry, and Eddie says he doesn’t look it. Brad admits he’s not; she’s single. Eddie says she’s the mother of his kid, and his ass gets whatever he wants. Brad tells him to go home, and he says he doesn’t have one. Brad says he can’t stay there, and he asks Brad to make a call. Brad tells him to go. Eddie offers to do him a favor in return, and Brad says, just go. Eddie repeats that he doesn’t have a home to go to, and Brad says, go somewhere. Eddie says he’ll handle it himself. Brad tells him that he doesn’t understand love, and Eddie says he understands T&A, and when he puts his mark on them, they’re his. He drives off.

Alex doesn’t want to know, and Brad agrees that she doesn’t. She tells him to throw Randal’s equipment away. He picks it up, and asks if the light has been on the whole time; that isn’t good. Alex says it’s disconnected, and Brad says it must have back up battery. He tells her to be quiet. It has a motion sensor, and records video and audio. Brad disables it. Alex is concerned that Randal heard everything they said about the doctor, but Brad thinks if he would have been over there already. Maybe it was out of range. Alex wants him to destroy it. He’s sorry he brought it in. Alex looks like she has a headache.

Randal and Larry go back to Randal’s house. They’re laughing, and saying what a great time it was. Larry wants more to drink, and Randal says he can’t hold his liquor. Larry says Randal likes when he’s out of control. Randal pours some hefty shots of tequila (bleh), and they down them. They laugh some more. Larry asks if Randal remembers when they snuck in the girls’ dorm. He tried to film them, but had a loud ass VHS camera. They have another shot. Randal says Larry got them kicked out of school, and Larry says, but they had a lot of fun. He asks if Randal remembers the girls they did together. Larry says he learned the hard way. Randal says Larry took longer, and teases him. Larry tells him to go to hell, and Randal says he’s been there and back next door. Larry wonders why Randal doesn’t let it go. Randal says no way; she humiliated him. Larry says he humiliated her and Marcie. Randal says they were talking about Alex; he doesn’t care about Marcie because she screwed neighbor in his shed. Larry asks if it’s the same guy whose wife Randal screwed, Randal doesn’t want to do this right now. Larry just wants him to move on; there are lots of women out there for him. Randal doesn’t want lots of women, and Larry says that’s a switch. Randal wants the two women in his life to suffer, and Larry asks for how long? He says until he’s satisfied. Larry says that’s him, and Randal concurs. Larry tells Randal that Marcie really loved him loved him. Randal says she loved him so much, she did the neighbor in his shed, Larry says she was hurt, and Randal asks if that’s why she moved in with him. Larry asks when it ends, and Randal says when she’s on her knees. Larry tells him she’s been through so much, and she’s pregnant. Randal is like, what? Larry realizes he made a mistake, and pretends like he doesn’t know what he said.

Next time, Randal and Larry fight, Alex tells Marcie that her husband doesn’t belong to her, and Travis confronts Kelly. It’s also the finale.

Below Deck

Jen wants to strangle Kate, but she’s a good person, and trying to suppress the feeling. Bri and Nico cuddle. Bri says it’s difficult working with someone who thinks they’re working hard, when they’re not. She thinks Jen is so tired, she’s delirious, and not helping. She tells Jen to go to bed, and finishes cleaning up by herself.

EJ says he’ll miss Baker. He’ll miss 90% of the crew, but there are some he could do without. He and Baker lie on cushions on the deck. He can’t believe he’s leaving tomorrow. She says they can make the most of it. He does a couple of push-ups, and they go to bed separately. I’m confused.

Captain Lee says it’s safe to take guests out for morning cruise. Nico is feeling a little better. He’s put things in perspective, and is going to be team player and do good job. Kate tells him not to be too cool for a sling. Jen stumbles out of her bunk. In the galley, Kate says the longer she’s late, the more she’ll pay for it. Jen doesn’t feel good, and Kate says none of them do. Kate tells her she can handle it. In her interview, Kate says Jen has problems and she gives her solutions, but she finds more problems in the solutions that then become new problems. The Valor moves out, and everyone gets excited. The captain says once around the park, and he’s only doing it for the money. Nico realizes he’s been a d*ck to EJ. He hasn’t been in the right frame of mind since his brother died. He has to respect EJ, and admit the deck team has come a long way.

The breakfast special is Eggs Benedict – my favorite! Matt loves a challenge, and he’s being challenged to every extent. He’s tired of seeing their faces though. They begin to head back to the marina, and the guests complain. In his interview, EJ says the deck team is in a better place than when he came; they’re much more proficient. The guests start packing.

Everyone says goodbye. Eden says it was great, but there was disappointment. It was a big deal to birthday boy Jason and Michaela, but she thinks it was a downer for them too. She doesn’t even know where they are, and thinks they left. What was the crew supposed to do about the weather? Change it?  These people are worse than eBay buyers, who want the moon for nothing.

Eden says the crew was great, but if it was her restaurant, a lot of things would have been sent back. In his interview, Matt says nice of her to wait until the last minute to destroy his food in front of the crew and captain. He bets her restaurant stinks. She says the food could have been taken to another level. Kate has never worked a cruise where the primaries just left the boat. I wonder what this means for the tip.

Captain Lee thought it went well for not having gotten off the dock. He’s surprised with the assessment, and doesn’t see what they could have done differently. There is a tip, and it’s $15K or $1363 each. The captain tells them that EJ is leaving to get back to his other boat, and thanks him for helping out. EJ did everything he asked him to, and well. In his interview, Captain Lee says Nico is going to have to step up. They all bid farewell to EJ. The captain says his wife, Maryann is coming. In his interview, he says it’s very rare for her to join him, and he’s excited, but has enough to worry about. Jen wonders why everybody is getting lovin’ except her.

In her interview, Baker is sorry things didn’t get to take off with her and EJ, but plans on seeing him after the season is over. Nico is glad he’s leaving, and boot him back to Canada. He’s ready to take charge. I wonder what happened to his better attitude of five minutes ago. EJ says his goodbyes, telling everyone to finish hard. He kisses baker’s hand. In his interview, he says he’s leaving them in a much better place. The deck team has graduated, and Nico will make an excellent bosun, if he drops the ego, and stops being a child. He still has a long way to go.

The next charter is a group of eight women, the primary being Shelly, who’s an attorney. The captain says they’re not requesting anything crazy, but want gourmet meals. In his interview, Captain Lee says it’s embarrassing to have a guest shred his chef a second time. We flash back to the first time and the Bananas Foster ice cream debacle. They want a Caribbean Carnival theme night with a surf and turf dinner, entertainment, and games. The captain also tells them that they’re getting a new deckhand. Nico hopes whoever it is, isn’t green.

Here comes Maryann. In his interview, the captain says the season has been trying with a green interior and deckhands, and crappy weather. Seeing Maryann will be a pleasure.

In her interview, Jen says Kate failed her as a boss and mentor. She looked up to her, but Kate was abusive. She has no respect for her. Kate talks about how much she loves the captain and Maryann (♫ Here on Gilligan’s Isle! ♫). She tells us they were high school sweethearts. Maryann is quite cute

Nico is excited to get off the boat and spend time with Bri. It’s been high stress all season. The crew heads out to dinner, with Captain Lee and Maryann joining them. Bri asks how they met, and Maryann says her girlfriends knew him, and he doesn’t remember meeting her. He asks how she can hold him responsible for something he doesn’t remember, and she says they met again a month later, and that was it. We see some old photos of them as a couple, and the crew toasts to them. In his interview, Captain Lee says that they’ve been married forty-two years, and Maryann has the patience of a saint to put up with him and five kids. He was lucky enough to marry his best friend. He tells the crew that relationships take work. He cares more about making his wife happy than making himself happy. If he sees a smile on her face, he’s good. He says he’s very fortunate, and I’m impressed. It’s nice to see the other side of him. Nico and Bri leave. Nico says it’s nice to see a functional relationship in yachting. You don’t see it often, especially with captains.

They talk about losing EJ, and make a toast. Bri and Nico arrive at the hotel, and the rest go back to the boat. In her interview, Kate says Bruno was quiet, Matt didn’t get obnoxious drunk, and Nico is getting lucky. The dinner was a success.

Kate calls someone about their website for acrobats who do yachts. I swear, there’s something for everyone out there. She can’t believe she’s never done a carnival theme party before. In his interview, Captain Lee says he and Maryann don’t communicate all that much when he’s at sea, and it was a treat to see her. He tells us the finish line is in sight. Maryann leaves.

The captain says Nico is back in charge, and he wants to finish strong. The weather should be good. The new deckhand arrives, and Kate says, look who it is, and they go to commercial. I’m wracking my brain for previous deckhands, and can only remember Danny.

It’s Kyle in flamingo shorts. They flash back to when he was on before, and now I remember him somewhat. Captain Lee says he knows the boat and he’s competent. He’s a character, but he can count on Kyle to fulfill their need for next two charters. He’s British, and one of the guys they need subtitles for because his accent is so thick. He was bunkmates with Kate, and she wishes she could give him a warm welcome, but she’s too busy. Nico interduces him around. He tells Kyle they’ve had green deckhands, and a Boy Scout bosun who pissed him off. Kyle has been on cargo ships, and tells us he’s become more of a provider, and it’s made him grow up.

In his interview, the captain says he was embarrassed as hell last charter. The crew had better be on their toes, or give their soul to Jesus, because their asses belong to him. He’s quite the quipster, our Captain Lee. The ladies arrive, and Kate does the tour. The deckhands remark how heavy their suitcases are, and it reminds me of my father asking me if I carried bricks in my purse. Kate says girls’ trips are one of two ways, either super fun or super high maintenance. Shelly tells them to keep the champagne flowing. Nico says the pressure is back on. Drinks happen. Kyle tells Jen he likes her. He could win and argument with her easily. They should get married. I also remember Kyle being a bit of a weirdo.

Nico tells the guests that he’s getting toys out. Shelly asks what kind of toys, and another guest says they like toys. Shelly thinks Nico should take of his shirt. In his interview, Nico says he loves cougars, something I will never be. I liked them older when I was younger. Matt says he has a lot to prove after the last charter. He has a clean slate, and he’s ready to cook. The ladies are served a beautiful salad, and say Matt is amazing.

Kyle says his type of girl doesn’t necessarily need a vagina, and I remember he had a trans girlfriend. Bruno says he doesn’t look at gender, but how he feels. He’s had both girlfriends and boyfriends, and looks at sexuality as fluid. His heart falls in love with a beautiful heart. This is all too poetic for me

The dreaded slide is set up. Nico is taking what he’s learned, and apply it to now. In the galley, Jen says she hasn’t been whoring around as long as Kate, and Kate asks how old her daughter is. Jen says Kate is taking too far, which I think is overly sensitive, since she started it and that was a funny remark in context.

Kate makes stuff with feathers, and they get ready for Caribbean party. Jen tells Kate it was a low blow, and Kate says Jen said she whored around. Jen wants her not to be miserable, and Kate says Jen doesn’t know enough to determine that; she’s highly out of line. Jen says it’s friend to friend, and Kate says Jen isn’t her friend. In her interview, Kate says she was blindsided. She thought they were having fun banter, and Jen brought in her personal life when she knows nothing about her. She’s just being mean.

The table is colorful and glorious. Jen thinks Kate crossed the line, but doesn’t think an apology will happen. The captain hangs around the kitchen, asking if the food is under control. Matt says they’re writing the for tomorrow. Bruno is helping, and Captain Lee says he has every confidence that Matt can come up with the menu on his own. He wonders why Matt is depending on a deckhand for ideas. The guests love the surf and turf. Shelly says it would be a great last meal. When the mostly clean plates come back, Matt says the ladies did a good job. He and Bruno agree they’re tigers

After dinner, Kate leads them upstairs, where an acrobat does amazing things, hanging from a giant ring. Kate tells us it’s nice to have someone else bending over backwards for the guests. The ladies want Nico to twirl on the ring.

Kyle watches Jen, and asks how the dating scene is. She tells him nothing exciting, and he says he’ll take her out. He guarantees two things – it will be an effing blast, and she’ll feel a lot better about herself. Jen isn’t too interested, but thinks it’s a welcome change to have someone talking nice to her. Captain Lee calls Kate to the wheelhouse. He’s concerned with what saw in the galley. He wants to pull Bruno out of there. In her interview, Kate agrees he spends too much time there, but thinks it might make the situation worse. The captain calls Nico next, and says he thinks Bruno is hindering Matt, and wants him doing deckhand things. In his interview, the captain thinks Matt has an unknown fear of putting himself out there. He’s hoping he’ll piss Matt off so much, he’ll want to show that SOB. He says the next charter is important.

Bri suggests she and Nico travel after the season is over. The Valor heads to St. Martin. Kate tells Jen that she’s still grumpy about what Jen said. Jen tells Kate if her boss implies she’s a whore, she’s going to stand up for herself. She thinks they’re just going in circles, and when she’s pushed to the boiling point, it’s best to walk away. Nico tells Bruno they need him on the deck, so no more helping Matt. Bruno has no comment, but thinks it’s unfair.

The captain calls Matt to the bridge, and asks if he’s running out of gas. Matt says he’s good. Captain Lee wants him to pull out all the stops. He thought last night’s dinner was okay, but he wasn’t blown away. Matt should get out of his comfort zone, and Bruno needs to get out of the galley. In his interview, Matt says the guests claimed it was the best meal they ever ate, but he’ll surpass it. In his interview, he says he’s burnt out. The girlfriend thing didn’t work out, and the guests have been critical. He can’t wait for the season to be done.

Next time, Shelley sings to the captain, Jen argues with Bruno, and Bri is called a whore.

🍻 New show RelationShep, starring Shep from Southern Charm, begins Monday, December 4^th at 10 pm.

🍚 I hate when a fortune cookie has some saying like home is where the heart is. They’re supposed to tell me who I’m going to meet or where I’m going to travel or something like that. They’re not proverb cookies.

⚓ Views of the Captain and his Lady…

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan and Maxie are doing a home photo shoot. Maxie reminds the photographer that the article is about her. He wonders who the person is who hasn’t smiled since he got there. Maxie tells him it’s her assistant and she’s thrilled to be there. Amy says, she’s thrilled.

Monica asks Finn if he can stay later. A John Doe was brought in with an opioid overdose and also has a serious infection.

Valentin tells Anna that he’s past needing to prove himself to her. Anna says even though he’s clean, it obviously struck a nerve. He says he looks at the world through the eyes of a father now, and doesn’t want the drugs in his community. Anna says he should tell Cassandra that he’s taking her up on her offer, and he can be a spy for her. He says, no way in hell.

Nina and Charlotte have ice cream at the MetroCourt after seeing Disney on Ice. Charlotte asks if she could be figure skater, and Nina says she can be anything she wants. She had thought Charlotte wanted to be a vet, but she wants to be both. Nina tells her she wanted to be a ballerina and on an equestrian tea when she was younger. Charlotte asks if she did, and Nina says definitely not, but her life turned out better than she imagined, now that she has someone like Charlotte in it. She tells Charlotte that she loves her, and Charlotte says she loves Nina too. Charlotte thanks her, and says she’s wonderful. Nina says she wasn’t trying to be; she just wanted Charlotte to have fun. Charlotte says that’s what makes her wonderful.

Cassandra and her companion enter the restaurant. Cassandra wants something exotic, like a strawberry daiquiri. Her companion says she’s allergic, but she tells him Finn told her that she’s not, so she’s going for it. She sees Nina and Charlotte. She calls them the apples of Valentin’s eye, and thinks she needs to take it up a notch.

Alexis goes to Pentenville to visit Julian, who doesn’t look very beat up, but is sporting a fresh haircut. He asks why she’s there, and she asks why this happened to him.

Finn looks at John Doe’s chart and says he’s close to respiratory failure, and must have been ignoring his condition. Monica tells him to find the right protocol.

Cassandra pretends to trip over a shoe-box with skates near Charlotte’s chair. She asks if Charlotte is taking skating lessons, but Charlotte says she’s not supposed to talk to strangers. Cassandra says she’s obviously been raised right, and is sorry for interrupting. Charlotte tells her that she took skating last winter, but she’s taking ballet now. Cassandra suggests she take skating as well; it will improve her ballet skills and vice versa. She tells Charlotte that she did, sometimes having both lessons in the same day. She says she even competed, but it was nothing professional; she wasn’t very good. Nina asks her to join them, and Cassandra says she’d like to, since her dinner companion hasn’t arrived. Her real companion takes photos with his phone from across the room.

Julian tells Alexis it was nothing and he’s fine. She says he’s obviously not fine, and asks if he was targeted. He surprised to see her, and thinks Scotty must have told her about it. He says they both agreed he belonged in there. She asks if he started it, or was provoked or ambushed, and he tells her to let it go. He didn’t start a fight, not the way she means, but they both know enough about the criminal justice system to know bad things happen. She asks if he can’t buy protection, and he says sometimes that works, but it doesn’t mean he won’t be a target. She asks if another crime family is after him, and doesn’t think he’s telling the whole story.

The photographer finishes the shoot, saying Nina will love it and he’ll send the proofs tonight. When he’s gone, Amy says she didn’t need to be there. She’s supposed to write the article, not watch Maxie pose. She has to get to work, and could have used more notice. Maxie asks if she means like the notice Maxie was given when they decided to go behind her back. Amy tells her not much subterfuge was needed, since she was living on the other side of the country. She says they can still be exposed. Maxie tells her that Nina demanded an exclusive, and this is as exclusive as it gets. When the readers see how blissfully happy she and Nathan are, they’ll stop trolling her on Twitter. Amy says she’s sorry Maxie is having a hard time, and that she thought Nathan was cheating, but she can’t reach her brother. She could have been making calls instead of watching Maxie put on stupid sexy outfit after stupid sexy outfit. Maxie says she can write it, and Amy can leave. Nathan tells Maxie to take this with love, but Amy isn’t going anywhere.

Cassandra talks about her first double-axel. She says it was in a local competition, but she felt like she was in the Olympics. Alas, a knee injury ended her career. She encourages Charlotte again to take both skating and ballet, saying both skills will improve. She tells Charlotte that if she masters the basics, she can do anything. Charlotte says that’s what her papa tells her. Cassandra says a man after her own heart, and asks where he is tonight.

Valentin tells Anna that she doesn’t know what Cassandra is capable of. Anna says the WSB has extensive intel on her. Valentin says she’s become a recluse, and also a hypochondriac, but has mostly eliminated those who have gone against her. Anna says she hasn’t eliminated him, whether it’s because he’s too formidable or she wants him for something, and he’s in a perfect position to gain access to her. Valentin says if she becomes motivated to act, she also becomes very dangerous.

Julian tells Alexis that he’s stopped trying to get her to trust or love him. In the past, he badly betrayed her trust, and he wants to make it right, but he doesn’t want her here. He thinks it’s probably part of Scotty’s stupid plan. He doesn’t concern her anymore, but wonders if there’s another reason she’s there. Alexis tells him there’s been a development that he has a right to know, and she might as well be the one to tell him.

Maxie types, and Amy laughs at what she’s writing. She says Maxie is giving too much background; that’s why she’s here. Nathan says that too many details could trip them up later. Amy says it might prompt too many fan questions, and Mac is one of Man Landers’s biggest fans. Maxie says Amy barely said anything, and she’s just writing answers to the questions fans want to know, like what to give when flowers aren’t enough? Amy says they don’t really ask things like that, and comes up with something else, conferring with Nathan. Maxie says enough; stop right now. She asks whose article is this anyway?

Alexis asks if Julian has had access to newspapers or the internet in the past week, but he says he’s been in the infirmary. She says that Jason bought Derek Wells Media. Julian thought it would be a good way to cut ties, but realizes it looks like a mobster transfer of power. Jason assured him he has nothing to do with the mob, and he’s just setting something up for Sam and his children. Alexis says Sam’s husband might not be Jason after all.

Finn says doctor stuff, and tells Monica they should see the results soon. He wants to monitor the patient. She says a nurse can call him if there are any changes. He says that she knows about his own struggle, and he didn’t even connect the dots between himself and the opioid epidemic. He says there’s an artificial wall between doctors and patients, and he was reminded why he went to medical school in the first place. It’s all related.

Nina tells Cassandra that her husband has lot meetings, sarcastically adding that she’s sure he’s heartbroken about missing the ice show. Cassandra says he missed the opportunity to spend time with Charlotte, but Nina says don’t worry they’ll tell him all about Disney on Ice. Cassandra thinks he’ll remember the remember conversation for a long time.

Anna says Valentin is a lot of things, some of which she despises, but she never took him for a coward. He says never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. He believes in letting sleeping dogs lie when family is involved. I never took him for a dude who spouts clichés. Anna says his family can be safeguarded. He tells her she’s not hearing him. He’s not going to help, and if she doesn’t back off, he’ll blow her investigation.

Nathan tells Maxie it’s not her article, but she says the fans want to know about Man Landers and his wife. He says Nina will love it, and shows her some pictures the photographer sent. Amy says that’s it; ten questions, and she has time to call Chet on the way to her real job. Maxie says he’s the reason they’re keeping the secret, so if it’s about anyone, it’s her brother. Nathan thanks her, and Amy leaves. He says it’s done, and Maxie will look so gorgeous, he’ll have to fight the guys off. He goes to take a shower, and Maxie looks at what Amy wrote. She’s like, no, this won’t do, and says she needs to punch it up a little.

Julian asks Alexis how that’s possible. She says that’s what they’re trying to figure out, and she has no idea. He asks if Sam is okay, and she says, physically, yes. Real Jason saved her from drowning. Julian asks how Sam is able to wrap her head around any of it, and how is she coping after finding out the man who’s her husband could be someone else? Alexis doesn’t want to talk about Sam, thinking she wouldn’t appreciate it. She says if Sam’s husband isn’t Jason, he’ll have to sort out the legality regarding the company. She tells him be careful in there.

Cassandra says she’s taken up enough time; maybe they could all go skating this winter. She suggests they take a selfie before she leaves. She takes the photo, and they exchange numbers. She says they should have lunch some time. Charlotte tells her that she liked her stories, and Cassandra thanks her for the conversation. She’s glad they crossed paths, and thinks they’re going to be good friends.

Valentin tells Anna the conversation is over She says this has to be stopped, and he says it won’t be if Cassandra covers her tracks. She’ll be gone like the wind, and go underground. If he tells her about the investigation, they’ll have nothing, and never see her again. Anna says the drugs have killed more people than HIV at the height of the epidemic. Valentin wants Anna to bring Cassandra down, but not implicate him. If she does, she’ll have nothing.

Nathan asks Maxie why she didn’t join him, and she says she was busy. He asks if she’s still mad, and she says no, everything is perfect – now. She used her professional judgement to tweak what Amy wrote. He looks at it, and says she basically put back her made-up story about how she discovered Man Landers. Maxie says it was dry, and needed a personal aspect. He says it’s supposed to be a puff piece, and she says it is – a look inside the life of Man Landers. Nathan says it would be if he was Man Landers. The fewer details, the better. Maxie wants to know why he keeps defending Amy. He says he’s not; that’s how he feels. She tells him it’s duly noted, but what she wrote is what’s going to press.

Monica asks Finn if there’s any news, but he says they need to know who he is, and his medical history. Monica says he’s obviously had several surgeries, and she thinks he’s a veteran. Finn says the guy has been through hell, and Monica says so has Finn, but he still functions even with his battle. She doesn’t think John Doe would have lived If Finn hadn’t stayed. He says that’s his job, but she says he needs relaxation too. Finn says he just had time off, but she says it didn’t sound like much of a vacation. He says it wasn’t really.

Cassandra says she’ll be in touch. Nina and Charlotte leave, and Cassandra asks her companion if he got what she wanted. He tells her that he got lots of photos, and thinks the selfie was genius. She tells him she thought about the value of Valentin discovering them together, but given his territorial behavior and temper, it’s a good thing they just left. She says she just texted him, and voila! here he is.

Valentin tells her that he’s not staying, and asks why she wanted to meet. She says she has a lovely surprise to share. He asks why would he care? She tells him that she met his wife and daughter, and shows him the pictures. She says they’re both delights, and they hit it off, but she wonders about Charlotte. Nina is a terrific stepmother, and Charlotte adores both her and her papa. Valentin asks what the point is, and Cassandra says she was wondering how Charlotte would feel about her papa if she discovered what he did with and to Claudette.

Julian hangs up the phone. On his way out, a big dude pushes him out of the way. Julian and Alexis look at each other.

Nathan tells Maxie to use Amy’s draft; it’s what Nina wanted. Maxie accuses him of stopping her from putting herself in, and he says it’s not for the reason she thinks. There’s still a chance this could blow up in their faces. They committed fraud, and she’d be committing it too. She loves that he’s trying to protect her, but says no one reads articles in Crimson; they just look at the fashion. She just sent it to the publishing team. Their fate is sealed.

At the hospital, Deanna tells Amy that Finn wants to know if there are any changes at any time with John Doe. Amy takes his chart, and goes into the room. She says, omg, Chet. It’s her brother. Why I didn’t put two and two together right away with this one, I’ll never know. I’m slipping.

Monica says it’s been a long night; she’s heading out. Finn wants to see if John Doe’s numbers improve. Monica says the synthetic opioids snuck up on them. They’re cheap and deadly, and they have to find a way to cut off the supply. Finn would like to see it happen too.

On the phone, Anna says the case isn’t working out, and she has to rethink the priorities for the WSB, and her too. She doesn’t give up. One way or other, she’ll get Cassandra.

Cassandra tell Valentin that his wife is delightful, and his child is scrumptious. She understands why he loves them, and thinks they’re a good influence on him. She can’t imagine what would happen were he to lose them – for whatever reason. She says, so, about her operation… Valentin says he’s in’

Alexis bangs on the window. The guard takes Julian, and the thug looks at Alexis.

Tomorrow, Valentin tells Anna that he’ll help her, Michael says it’s over with Nelle, and Sonny asks Klein who gave him the order.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we last left, Eddie busted in while Esperanza and Steven were getting busy.

Eddie attacks Steven, and they fight. Esperanza yells for them to stop. Lushion comes in, and breaks it up. He tells Eddie to calm down and asks what’s going on. Can’t he tell? He tells Eddie to get out. Eddie says, me and you, to Steven, and leaves. Lushion asks what’s going on, and where are Steven’s clothes?

Steven says, sorry, and Esperanza tells him to get out; the both of them, out now. Steven and Lushion leave, with Steven half-dressed. Lushion asks if he’s crazy. Steven says he was fixing the wall, spilled paint on himself, and Esperanza offered to wash his clothes. It just happened. Lushion tells him to get in the car.

Ian calls Marcie at work; he wants to talk about the house. He asks a question about the vents, and she says she’ll call the realtor. He wants to see the house again, and asks if they can meet later; he has to meet a client across the street. She asks who, but he’s not at liberty to say. She tries to get information, but he tells her not to do this to him. She asks if it’s Randal, and he says, who? She tells him that Randal is her ex. He asks if Randal knows Larry, and she says they were college roommates. Ian says he wouldn’t represent that guy for anything. He hopes the divorce is over with soon.

Brad pours some wine for him and Alex. The baby is having a nap, so it must be wine o’clock. Brad asks what the doctor said, and Alex says the baby is doing well, but he meant the DNA test. Alex tells him the doctor switched it. He says she rewound their lives. He can’t believe it, and Alex says she was shocked. Brad tells her that they won’t have to deal with Randal until the baby gets older. Alex tells him they’ll cross that bridge when they come to it, but for now, they’re good. Alex is glad Brad is back, and he’s glad to be home. Could we please name this baby? Please? We see that the camera light is blinking. Uh-oh. Even though Brad tore it down, wouldn’t there still be a companion piece inside Randal’s house?

Here’s what I’m thinking. Obviously, the doctor didn’t switch the tests, but obviously the baby is Black. If Alex isn’t lying about being with anyone else, that means somewhere along the line there are Black relatives. It would make sense if they were on her side, since her parents were so radically racist. Maybe Rusty wasn’t her real father?

Natalie tells Kelly the house looks good; Kelly says it looks better. She thanks Natalie for everything, even helping her with the gun. Natalie says they need to talk about that. Kelly says she’s getting rid of it, but the police have it right now. She can’t believe Justice touched it. She wants to punish him, but he’s going through so much. Travis is messing with her child, and she can’t let him do that. Natalie says it’s getting out of hand, and Kelly says she just wants to go on with her life, but he won’t let her. She’s tried everything, and can’t keep dealing with this.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s Ian. Kelly asks if the police took the gun, and he says they did. Natalie and Kelly are relieved. Natalie asks if it had a serial number. Out of Ian’s earshot, Kelly asks Natalie if that girl sold her an illegal gun, but Natalie says no, she was just asking.

Outside, Natalie calls Lushion. She tells him the police took Kelly’s gun. She asks if it having a serial number means it’s legit. He says it could have been stolen, and she asks him to find out. He chastises Natalie for steering Kelly that way in the first place. She asks him to just find out about the number.

Natalie visits Alex and Brad. She wants to talk to Alex, but Brad needs to hear this too. She asks if it’s Lushion’s baby, and if Alex is sure. Alex says she’s never had anything going on with Lushion. Natalie wonders where it’s coming from then. Alex says she’s sorry, but she was in a bind. All she said was that Randal wasn’t the father, and Natalie asks why Lushion is involved. Alex says it was Randal’s idea. Natalie wonders why the test didn’t match Randal’s, and Brad says a doctor friend helped them out. Natalie seems to accept that, and he says he believes Alex. Natalie thanks them.

When she’s gone, Alex asks if Brad thought that was a good idea. What if she tells someone? He says it’s not good either way. He says she hates Randal as much as they do. Alex says if she flies off the handle, she might open her mouth. Brad doesn’t think so, and Alex hopes he’s right.

Ian tells Kelly they’ve been watching Travis, and all he ever does is go to church and back home, and spends time with his fiancé. She says he has time to harass her with hang-up calls. Ian suggests they get the phone records and texts. He asks if she’s positive Justice had nothing to do with it, and she’s surprised he’s even asking. He says he can talk to the DA and see if Travis will come in. Kelly is shocked they have to play nice with him, and Ian tells her to be patient. They’ll get him. She asks when she can get her gun back, but he says it’s in evidence. She tells him she needs protection. He says he’ll see what he can do, but tells her to start learning how to use it and get a safe.

Marcie pulls up just as Ian is getting to the house. The vents are acceptable. She says the owners will cover the closing costs if he moves up the date. He says as long as the inspections are good, he’s fine with that. She knows the company, and says she’ll have them put a rush on it. She goes back outside while he looks around again. Randal pulls up. Marcie starts laughing, and he says they’ll see who’s laughing soon. She thinks she’s slick, and thinks Larry will be on her side. She tells Randal to sign the papers. He tells her no, and she says she gave him everything, just let her out. He says no, and she calls him an ass. Ian comes out, and asks if she’s okay. Randal asks if Ian is screwing his wife. Ian wants Marcie to look at the kitchen, and Randal suggests she show him the bedroom too.

Marcie apologizes, and Ian asks if she’s sure she’s okay. She says she’s used to it. He asks if Larry is repping her, and what he’s doing to get it over with. She says he’s working on it, but Ian doesn’t like it. She doesn’t want to talk about it, and asks if he saw what he wanted to with the house. He’s good, and says no second thoughts. He tells her to take him to dinner to celebrate. She says as long as he’s paying. He tells her she’s making the commission, but she says he’s a gentleman. He says so he’s been told, and agrees.

Randal arrives at the bar, and sees Larry talking to a couple. Randal tells them not to believe anything he says, and he and Larry move to another table. Larry didn’t think he was coming, and Randal says he almost didn’t. Larry asks why he decided to come, and Randal says because Larry is buying; he owes him from last time. Randal orders the most expensive cognac. He asks if Larry is representing Marcie. Larry says he’s friends with both of them. Randal says Larry knows him better, and Marcie doesn’t know much about Larry. He thinks Larry wants to determine how angry he is, but Larry says he invited him out because they’re friends. Randal tells Larry that he can see right through him, and Larry’s secret is safe with him. He asks why Larry agreed to rep Marcie when Randal has this on him. Larry says he was looking out for the both of them. Randal says she knows nothing about their past, and Larry asks if he’s sure.

Larry wants to be sure Marcie isn’t playing him. He thought it was strange that she came to him. Randal says she’s broke; she had to come to him. He asks if he can go now, but Larry wants to catch up. He says his wife and kids are out of town, and it’s hard being alone. Randal is like, what? and he says, sorry. Randal mentions the bitch next door, and Larry says Marcie told him he had an affair with a neighbor and there’s a baby. Randal asks if Marcie told him about her sleeping with the neighbor’s husband, and them moving in together. He says the best part is the kid isn’t even his. Larry’s mind is blown. Randal says every time he sees a Black man in the neighborhood, he asks if they know her. Larry says a married woman who lied to her husband, then lied to him, and he’s upset? It doesn’t make sense. Randal says he didn’t know she’d been with another Black man. Larry says he can’t go around asking all of them if they know her. Randal starts laughing, and says he set up a camera, and every time someone comes to her door, he gets an alert. Larry says it’s unhealthy, and Randal says he knows. He thinks Randal should reevaluate the situation. Randal says Larry is judging him, but Larry says he’s just worried. He tells Larry to shut his ass up, and orders another drink. Larry says he’s driving, and Randal says he is too. He says he wants to sue Brad’s ass after he knocked him off the ladder. Larry says that’s easy stuff. He suggests they buy drinks for the couple he was talking with. They sit with them, and Larry introduces Randal. Weird.

Esperanza goes to Natalie’s house. Natalie asks what’s wrong. Esperanza doesn’t know what she’s going to do with Eddie. He just tore her house apart while he was fighting with Steven. She says Steven was helping her fix some bullet holes. Natalie is like, what? Esperanza explains how she shot at Eddie to get him out of the house. Of course he came back, and saw her and Steven having amazing sex. She doesn’t know how it happened. Natalie only focuses on the word amazing. Esperanza says Steven’s body is insane, he was there, and it’s been a long time. Natalie pours some wine. She keeps laughing, and Esperanza says it’s not that funny. Natalie asks if she likes him. Esperanza says she was angry with Eddie and he was there at the right time. He’s been flirting with her for months, and she’s been ignoring him. Natalie says she created a monster with Eddie. She asks what Steven says, and Esperanza tells her that she has to call him; she took advantage of him. Natalie says she doubts Steven feels that way. She asks if he was better than Eddie, and Esperanza says, much.

Lushion comes home, and Esperanza jets. Natalie wonders why Esperanza left when she saw Lushion. She says she knows about Esperanza and Steven, but Lushion says that’s not important right now. He needs to talk to Kelly. The gun was reported stolen two months ago, and this is going to be bad for her. It was reported stolen from Ramsay.

Next time, Lushion says the DA will be all over this, Steven checks on Esperanza, and Brad tells Eddie that he doesn’t understand love. One more episode before the season finale.

Below Deck

EJ says he doesn’t want the deck getting dirty from feet. He tells us one drunk Nico is bad, and now he has two – Nico and his brother. He says he needs to be the bigger person. In his interview, Nico calls him a d*ck, saying he’s holding back because EJ is his boss, but he still thinks he should be bosun. Brother Josh jets. EJ is at his wits end.

Kate goes over the supplies. EJ meets with the captain, who’s concerned about the weather. The worst thing you can have happen is not being able to get off the dock. EJ says he’s enjoyed working for him, and is appreciative to be here. He thinks there’s been an improvement, but his boat is arriving soon. He can only stay through the next charter. Captain Lee isn’t too sure Nico is up for the job, but he has to work with the cards he’s been dealt.

Time for the preference sheet meeting. Jason, the primary, is the CEO of a media company that works with outdoor advertising. His wife and some good friends are coming along. One of the friends is Eden Alpert, daughter of jazz musician Herb Alpert, and also a restaurant owner. They’re open to anything, and not picky, but want to be impressed. Jason is having a birthday, so a dinner is required, and they also want an 80s theme party. Kate asks about the weather, but the captain doesn’t know yet. They need a definite plan B.

Kate tells Jen the crew notices, and resents it, if she sneaks breaks. In her interview, Jen says the cleaning and laundry never ends; it’s a vicious cycle. Wait until she owns a house. The crew readies the boat. The captain confirms they’re not leaving the dock, and won’t be leaving anytime soon. Because of the wind and waves, they can’t use the water toys or tender either.

Nico calls for help out on the tender. He needs to go to the hospital now. Baker tells the captain that Nico hurt his arm. Nico says he hit his elbow, and now can’t move his fingers. The captain thinks it’s nerve damage. He tells us just when think it couldn’t get worse. He’s down a man, is losing a bosun, and the weather is a sh*t sandwich. Kate asks what’s going on, and Captain Lee says he sent Nico to the hospital to get checked out. EJ gives Baker some tasks, feeling awkward because he likes her and he’s her boss.

Nico comes back wearing a sling; he pinched a nerve. He tells the captain, and Captain Lee says he’s as useful as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest. This reminds me of the time my sister worked as an insurance adjuster. They were swamped at the office, and a co-worker asked how she was doing. She said she was “as busy as a one-armed paperhanger,” and turned around to see it was a co-worker who only had one arm. He told her he was as busy as a one-armed insurance agent. BA-DUM-CHH! Captain Lee tells Nico to start his meds and get better.

The guests arrive. EJ wonders if Nico will make it through the charter. The captain does his welcome spiel, and says the wind is a problem, and due to safety issues, they can’t leave yet. He points out Nico’s sling, and says that was a direct result. In her interview, Kate says this means the interior will be doing all the work, while the deckhands relax. The guests immediately start complaining that it sucks, and one asks if they’ll be stuck tomorrow too. Captain Lee doesn’t know, and Kate gives the tour. Jason says it’s not the worst place to be stuck. It would be fine with me. I’d eat, drink, and be merry. Rinse and repeat.

Guest Charlie, who started the bitchfest, says they could have gotten hotel rooms and saved a load of money. Eden wants to see kitchen, and tells Matt to watch out, reminding him that she’s a restaurant owner. Grumpy Charlie asks if they can go out on deck, but mellows when he runs into Bruno. He tells Bruno that he has beautiful eyes and makes small talk. Kate says it’s a challenge, and Bruno tells her they’re complaining already. If they need anything, just communicate. In her interview, Kate thinks Bruno is confused, but if he wants to be a stew, he can start cleaning toilets.

Matt says it’s massive amount of pressure on the crew when they can’t get off the dock. They have to make the guests forget about being there. Kate says it’s hard to tell if the guests are nice or fake nice, since they’re from Los Angeles. EJ tells them that they can use the jet skis and hoverboards, and there are beaches around if they want to go. Bruno thinks the stews don’t have pride in what they’re doing, and he’ll show them how to do their job. Kate says he should think about going to the interior side.

The guests use the jet skis, and a picnic is prepared on the beach. Honestly, this would be a great vacation for me. Although I’d be happy with the hotel on the boardwalk here too. Kate wonders what’s taking so long, because no one said anything about a beach picnic; the deckhands just did it. Jen welcomes the guests back with drinks. Kate says guests always want the crew involved with theme parties, and if you have to wear a mustache or an afro, that’s what you do.

Jen tells Kate that Bruno is being bitchy, but Kate tells her to let him shine. The guests all dress up, but this looks more 60s to me. Pop Rocks are passed out, and an alternative use is suggested. I’m sure you can google it. It’s fish for dinner, and Eden whines about having fish more than once in one day. Kate says if she’d like something else, they can accommodate her, but she pouts and says she’s done with food anyway. Kate tells Matt enough fish. In his interview, he says unless it’s specific on the preference sheet, they should relax. He asks if he should make something else, and Kate says they’re happy with themselves and life, and don’t need more food right now.

Bri periodically checks on Nico. The guests eat something off of sticks, and do shots. They don’t fall out that late though, about 1:30. Geez, I stay up later on karaoke night. The captain visits Nico, and tells him nerves regenerate quickly. He sees Bri bringing Nico a dinner tray, and says he’ll smack his elbow to get treated like this.

Captain Lee asks if any guests want to tag along on a weather check. In his interview, he says he’s never spent an entire charter on deck. The charter guests always think they’re lying, so he wants to give them the ride of life. Two guys join him, and it’s pretty rough. The captain asks if they’ve seen enough, and they tell him yes; the jokes on them. In his interview, Captain Lee says a small apart of him was enjoying the hell out of it. Grumpy Charlie says he had a dream that he and Bruno got married, and lived in Portugal.

One of the guests who went with the captain tells them that the swells were nine feet felt, and they agree it’s unsafe. One of the women is waiting on a chai latte with soy milk. Jen is lollygagging in the kitchen, and Kate tells her to go now. She tells the guests she has some suggestions for the day. There’s a great place to go shopping on shore, and they’re close to a man-made reef where they can go exploring. It has fish and a sunken helicopter. Jen says Kate is stressing her out. In her interview, Kate says Jen was making the latte the way she does her hair. It took forever, an still looked like sh*t.

The captain calls Kate, EJ, and Matt to the bridge, and tells them to do whatever they can. Kate says they’re having a luau, and she’s ordered hula dancers. Captain Lee says how well they distract the guests can make a difference in the tip. Nico is pissed off and grumpy. He has no control over anything; it’s EJ’s deck. Kate tells the stews that when she gets back, they’ll discuss breaks. She leaves with the guests, one of them noting it’s Kate plus eight.

Matt has never done a luau, and isn’t himself right now. He feels like the world’s largest punching bag. The guests go to the reef, and do stuff underwater, while Kate serves drinks to the one woman who’s a party pooper. The reef is beyond cool. Kate texts the captain, asking if he’s ready for tonight, and he wonders what that means.

EJ explains to Baker that he’s going to be leaving, but asks her not to tell the others yet. She says it’s a bummer. Jen is having lunch in the crew mess. Bri radios her, but she keeps talking and eating. Bri finally goes to the mess, and asks if she can eat more and talk less. Jen whines that she’s entitled to eat the rest of her food, and Bri needs to shut up. Bri says she’s following Kates rules, and Jen accuses Bri of attacking her, when she did nothing of the kind. When they cross paths afterward, Jen says she has nothing to say to Bri.

Bruno helps Matt, making him a happy guy. They make a birthday cake. EJ wishes he had more time with Baker. He feels there are still chapters to be written. Please. The guests get back. Kate wonders what the stews were doing, since the laundry isn’t done and there are dishes in the sink. Bruno says there was some kind of tiff because one took a longer lunch than the other. Kate says apparently, they both took six hour lunches. She tells Bri about the laundry, and Bri says she’s mad at the wrong stew.

EJ thinks the deck crew has graduated to a higher level, and will be successful the rest of the season. Jen relays the dinner menu to the guests. Kate talks to her, and she acts like Bri was some kind of dictator who wouldn’t let her eat. Kate wants to know what happened the whole five hours. In her interview, she says Jen loves extra break time, and is competitive with Bri. She’s lying. Kate asks what time the captain is putting on his royal Hawaiian outfit. He says he’s not changing, and she says, yes he is. She got him an outfit. Bruno does some decorating. He wonders how the boat could be empty all day, and nothing done. Nico suggests he and Bri go to the hotel in town during their off-time. Kate asks Bri about what happened, and Bri says she felt she had to say something to Jen, but doesn’t think Jen ever came back from lunch.

Everyone gets dressed up for the luau in grass skirts and such. Jen rolls her eyes at whatever Bri says. Bri thinks her behavior in front of guests is unprofessional, and she plays the victim. Bruno says Charlie seems to have crush on him, and it’s fun to play along. He tells Matt that nothing has been set up outside. Kate asks Bruno how he feels, and he says the buffet looks terrible. She says he should tell the captain what he would do differently. He wants to know.

Bruno gets to the bridge and Captain Lee is in a whole get-up, with a floral headpiece, grass skirt, and a pineapple on the end of a staff. I guess he’s a Hawaiian chieftain. Bruno says he nailed it. In her interview, Kate remembers when she was green and knew everything. She was an idiot. Bri leads the guests upstairs, and Captain Lee tells them to be seated. He introduces himself as Don Ho’s brother, Ass. He does an entire riff, and says by the power invested in him by some nonsense, it’s officially Jason Swing Day, let the games begin. The hula dancers come out and do their thing. The captain says he’s outside his comfort zone, but contributing. If crew does it, he has to step up to the plate and sacrifice some dignity. Bruno admits Kate knows a lot, and he should be more humble. Captain Lee wants a raise.

Jen asks if she can have dinner, and Kate asks if she had lunch. Kate didn’t. Kate says she’s going to be the early girl, so Bri and Jen are going to do the clean-up work. She leaves written instructions so there’s no confusion. In her interview, she says she’s done all kinds of managing, and it’s time for good, old-fashioned shut-up and work. Jen complains that Kate has issues, and she hates life right now. She calls Kate a miserable, old bitch.

As Captain Lee would say, suck it up, buttercup.

Next time, Eden complains about the food, the captain is concerned about Bruno in the galley, the charter is a girlfriends’ trip, a new deckhand arrives, and Captain Lee’s wife, Maryann, visits.