What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

On the phone, Jordan says, he failed to mention he was attacked by The Hook killer last year… Curtis knocks at her office door, and she tells him to come in. She says, do a record search and see if Mr. Cassadine purchased a burner phone in the week before February 7^th. It’s possible he’s been planning his disappearance for a while. She asks if Curtis shouldn’t be at the airport, but he says, there will be no honeymoon in Tuscany. At least not for him and Portia.

In her dorm room, Trina looks at a wedding photo of her, Taggert, and Curtis on her phone, when Josslyn comes in. She asks if Trina heard. Heather Webber is The Hook killer, and she’s Esme’s mom. And Ryan Chamberlain is her dad. If she hadn’t caused so much damage, she’d feel bad for Esme. No wonder she’s the way that she is. Trina says, yeah, right? and Josslyn asks if she’s not relieved it’s over. Trina says, sure. One horror story ends, and another horror story begins. She zeroes in on Curtis in the photo.

Dante wonders why Elizabeth didn’t come forward sooner, and Scotty says he advised her to be quiet. Dante says, he had her sit on information that could help them in a multiple homicide investigation? but Scotty says his job is to protect his client… at whatever cost.

On the phone, Elizabeth asks Finn if she made a mistake turning herself in, but he says, she did the right thing. He admits he had his reservations, but they offered her immunity. She says she’s afraid they’re going to take the deal back when they hear what she did.

Ava goes to Austin’s room, and he says, hey, how was your night?

Spencer tells Laura, Esme used him on Ryan Chamberlain’s orders. This was all one big manipulation. Where is his father? Why isn’t he here right now? Because Esme just gave birth to his child. She says she wishes she knew, but he says, she knows as well as he does that his father would be here were it not for him.

Heather asks if Esme isn’t going to say hello to her mother. The guard suggests Heather be escorted back to the PCPD, but Esme says, wait. She wants Heather to stay.

Trina tells Josslyn, last night after the reception, her mom told her that her dad might not be her dad. She’s been lying to Trina her entire existence. She keeps hoping it’s a nightmare she’ll wake up from, and everything will be back to normal. Josslyn says she’s so sorry. Did she tell Trina who her real dad is?

Jordan says she’s sorry the honeymoon is off, and Curtis says, the wedding was perfect. The reception, amazing, except for Trina disappeared for most of it. Jordan asks if Trina is okay, and Curtis says, she wanted to visit her new aunt by marriage. Trina was concerned that Aunt Stella was so sick she couldn’t officiate at the wedding, and asked Laura to officiate instead. So imagine her surprise when she realized Aunt Stella wasn’t sick. He doesn’t know what Stella said to her, but it drove Trina back to the reception hot as fish grease. He can tell none of this is a surprise to Jordan, so why doesn’t he skip to the end? Trina might be his daughter.

Scotty comes into the interrogation room, and Elizabeth asks if the DA changed his mind about the immunity deal, but he says, they’re good. The ADA is going to come take down the details of what happened with Nikolas and Esme. She asks if there’s anything that could make the deal fall through, and he says, yeah. If she doesn’t give them what they’re looking for.

Molly comes into the station, and Dante asks if she was assigned Elizabeth’s case. Molly says, she was, and Dante asks how she thinks Elizabeth got mixed up with Esme, and Molly says, hopefully, she’ll tell them. Dante says, it was her decision to come forward. Apparently she wants to tell them everything she knows.

Ava tells Austin, her night was the same old.  Dinner, dancing, death match with a serial killer. He says, at least they’re on the winning side, and she says, are they? He says, Heather Webber is in custody; that’s a win. No more Hook attacks; that’s a win. He gets the dubious honor of being the final victim. He feels like a winner. She asks how he’s doing, and he says he suffered a very deep laceration, but he’s been stitched and sutured and stapled. She says she can relate, and he says, you know what else we have in common? Heather didn’t put the venom on the hook. He’s super-psyched about that. And the winning icing on the win cake? Ryan Chamberlain’s not breathing. They’re still breathing, so they’re champs. She says she’s not feeling very victorious.

Laura asks Spencer not to blame himself. If she knew where his father was, she’d make damn sure he was here right now, because Spencer shouldn’t be shouldering this burden by himself. Spencer says he deserves it. He let Ryan Chamberlain use him. Laura says, he didn’t. He believed what everyone else believed; that Ryan was suffering from Locked-In Syndrome. He couldn’t walk and couldn’t talk. Judging by Spencer’s argument, they should all feel guilty. He says, it’s not the same thing. Ryan Chamberlain used him like a weapon against his own father, and he had no idea. Laura says, that’s her point. He had no idea; he’s not to blame. He yells, of course (🍷) I’m to blame! and immediately apologizes. He says, Ryan wanted Ava all to himself, but Ryan needed to ruin his father’s life for that to happen, and couldn’t do it all on his own. He needed someone close to father, who he could manipulate for his own selfish end, and here I am. I opened the door, and I let in Esme.

Heather says, Esme looks radiant, and asks, how’s the baby? Esme says, fine, showing no expression. Heather says, boy or girl? and Esme says, boy. Heather says, her first born was a boy; Steven Lars. He would be Esme’s older half-brother. He was a beautiful baby. Born blonde – she indicates her own blonde hair – just like Esme was. How about her grandson? Esme tells her, they say the color changes, and Heather says, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that Esme and the baby are healthy and safe at last. That little baby can move beyond the tumult of his birth and on to brighter things, and meeting his grammy. Esme still shows no expression.

Ava tells Austin, Ryan manipulated everything, and was somehow able to manipulate her into killing Nikolas. It was an accident, but accident or not, it wouldn’t have happened if not for Ryan. Austin says, she’s giving the guy too much credit. He was a psychopath, but he wasn’t a psychic. She says she keeps thinking about something Ryan told her in the woods; he said they were the same. Austin says, that’s ridiculous, but she says, it’s why Ryan always felt so connected to her. And for the last two years, he was able to destroy her life from afar because of the connection he felt. Ryan was a master string puller, and was able to manipulate her, and Nikolas is dead because of it.

Laura says, Esme would have found his way to Spencer’s father whether Spencer helped or not, but Spencer says he did help. He came back to Port Charles determined to ruin his father’s life. Esme would whisper in his ear, and tell him that his anger was justified and noble. She says, his anger against his father is justified. When Nikolas came back, she was thrilled, but when she found out he deliberately stayed away for three years and let them believe he was dead, she was angry and felt betrayed. It took her a long time to get over that anger. He says he was angry too. That’s why he wanted to stay in Europe. He wanted to keep his distance, but Esme wanted to come to Port Charles. He starts to cry, and says, now he wonders if his and his dad’s relationship is broken or unsalvageable. He doesn’t know if he wanted to take revenge on Ava or not. Laura starts to cry too, and he says he’s so sorry. And now Ryan is dead, and Esme doesn’t remember, which is truly the worst part. Because it means he’ll never know. Laura hugs him.

Esme says, Heather won’t be around to meet her grandson, but Heather says, the cops will say anything to intimidate her. Don’t pay any attention. She has a beautiful little baby boy to think about now, and that’s plenty. She’s going to make mistakes because she’s a new parent. She’s still learning and it’s okay not to feel like a natural parent. For some women, that just comes later. Esme says she doesn’t know what she feels, but Heather says, that’s okay. Let the nurses do the night feeding so she can get some sleep. Don’t wish this time away, even if it’s hard; you won’t get it back. She and Esme didn’t get a lot of time together when she was a baby, and she’s always regretted that. She always kept an eye on Esme from afar. She had to. Ryan was Esme’s father.

Trina says, Marcus Taggert is her dad, and always will be her dad, and Josslyn says, she’s sorry; that came out wrong. Trina says she’s just so scared. What does this mean for her family? To her dad? He was trying to be so strong for her, but on the inside, she knows he has to be feeling as much of a mess as she is. And Curtis is supposed to be her stepdad. Who is he to her now?

Jordan says she knew Portia had concerns about Trina’s paternity. She’s more than willing to hash it all out with Curtis, but right now, she’s underwater dealing with last night’s events from Spring Ridge and Spoon Island. He says he figured as much. He really just dropped by to see if she’s sorry. She says, sorry for what? She kept herself out of matters that were none of her business. He says, that didn’t stop her from discussing it with Aunt Stella and Portia, but it stopped her from giving him a heads up. Unless she enjoyed knowing he was left in the dark again .

Molly says, the DA and Scotty have worked out a deal that grants Elizabeth full immunity. She’ll tell them everything she knows about Esme’s whereabouts during The Hook killings. She asks Elizabeth to read over the agreement with Scotty, and sign and date it. Scotty says he’s already looked at it; it looks good. Elizabeth signs and Molly sets up the recorder. Dante says he assumes Elizabeth knows where Esme was hiding, but Elizabeth says, she wasn’t hiding. Esme was imprisoned by Nikolas Cassadine.

Austin says he and Ava don’t know each other very well, but what he saw at the stables that night was a woman who had been pushed to the edge by people like Ryan Chamberlain and her ex-husband. She says, Ryan convinced Esme to work on Spencer, to gaslight her, to seduce her husband, to separate her from the people who love her. Ryan got exactly what he wanted, and she’ll pay the price for the rest of her life. He says, only if they find Nikolas’s body. What he hears her saying is, she’s done; so be done. Don’t let Ryan win. Don’t let herself be Ryan Chamberlain’s last victim.

Elizabeth says, it all started the night she ran into Esme on Pier 55, and Dante says, she called 9-1-1 and was found unconscious. Elizabeth says she was confused and disoriented, and Nikolas was standing over her, telling her to trust him. After that, she lost consciousness and woke up at GH. She didn’t tell Jordan that she’d seen Nikolas. Dante asks, why not? and she says, Nikolas was her friend and she didn’t want him to get in trouble, but later, she wondered why he put her in that position. When she went to confront him, Esme was there, pregnant with his child. At the time, they both thought Esme was The Hook killer, and Nikolas was terrified she was going to hurt his unborn child. He was keeping her there against her will to protect his baby, and to keep her from killing anybody else. Dante says, except that Esme wasn’t the one doing the killings.

Jordan says, Curtis came here looking for a fight, but he says, not a fight; answers. He’s entitled to that. He might be Trina’s father. Doesn’t she think that’s important for him to know? She says she doesn’t know if he is or not, and neither does Portia. She begged Portia to come clean, and reminded Portia of how her dishonesty broke up her and Curtis’s marriage, but she woudn’t budge. She said it was her business, not Jordan’s, so what was she supposed to do? Curtis asks, how long has she known Trina might be his daughter?

Josslyn says she can’t imagine how much it must hurt that Trina’s mother kept that secret from her, but she has to know that her mom loves her. Her dad loves her too. Josslyn knows Trina might not want to be around her mom right now, and she understands, but she is Trina’s family, for better or for worse. Trina says, right now, it feels incredibly for worse, and Josslyn says she’s sorry. She wishes there was something she could do to make things better. Trina says she does too, and Josslyn says she loves and supports Trina, and has her back. They hug, and Josslyn says she just wishes she was there when Trina found out, but Trina says she wasn’t alone. She was with Spencer. She doesn’t know what she would have done if she hadn’t been with him.

Spencer says he’s trying so hard; trying to take responsibility for his actions, trying to build a stable home for his baby brother; trying to be a better man than his father. (Well, that’s a pretty low bar.) The reason his father is gone is because he let himself be manipulated by a psychopath. Laura says, but he pulled himself back from the brink. He recognized that Esme framed Trina; then he broke up with her. He even managed to make some sort of peace with Ava. In her book, that makes him a good person. Maybe even one day, a great person. He doesn’t have to just stop blaming himself. He needs to stop feeling sorry for himself, because they can’t change what happened. The best they can do is learn from it. He wonders what he’ll learn from this, and she says, think before you act. Examine your motives. Take responsibility for what he did wrong, but also what he did right. Wisdom is acquired, and wisdom takes time. But right here, right now, there’s an innocent baby boy who desperately needs their help.

Heather says she can’t wait to hold her little grandson. To sing him songs, read him stories. Esme wonders how that’s going to happen, and Heather says, Esme and the baby will be transferred back to Spring Ridge, and in the State of New York, you can keep the baby up to 18 months; she checked. So she’ll get transferred back there too. Esme asks, how? and Heather says she’s pretty good at working the system. They’ll all be there together. Esme will protect her baby, and Heather will protect Esme. That’s what this whole thing was for; they’ll finally be together. Heather will be an excellent grandparent – her voice breaks – she promises Esme. Esme says, never. This is the last time Heather will see her, and she promises Heather will never, ever get anywhere near her baby.

Trina says, Spencer was there for her last night at her lowest time, and Josslyn says she still thinks Spencer is a jerk, but he has a way with words. Trina says, not just words, and Josslyn asks what that means. Trina says, she and Spencer kissed, and they giggle.

Curtis asks when it first crossed Jordan’s mind that he might be Trina’s father, and she says, about two years ago. It was the night she and Portia got trapped in that basement. She was semi-conscious from the leaking gas, and Portia thought she was passed out; Portia thought they were dying. She mentioned Trina’s father, and it sounded like she had a question about paternity. She asked Portia about it later, and Portia brushed her off. Then a few months ago, she overheard Portia on the phone ordering genetic tests for Trina, around the same time Curtis was being tested for schizophrenia markers. Again she asked Portia about it, Portia told her to back off, and she did. Curtis says, or did she give the information to Aunt Stella, hoping she’d use it to blow up his wedding? but Jordan says, Stella figured it out all on her own, and brought what she suspected to her. She had no choice but to confirm Stella’s suspicions. He says, of course (🍷) she did, and Jordan says, if she had any desire to interfere in his relationship, she could have done it months ago. He has every right to his anger and pain, but no right to say anybody set out to hurt him. Not Portia, and definitely not her.

Molly asks, what was Nikolas’s intention after Esme gave birth? and Elizabeth tells her, he said he was going to take care of the baby himself. Meanwhile, Esme was insisting she wasn’t The Hook killer, but Elizabeth didn’t believe her, especially after all the horrible things she’d already done. Scotty says, like recording Elizabeth’s son and his girlfriend having sex and posting it on a website; like framing Trina Robinson. Dante thanks him, and says, they know. He asks Elizabeth to continue, and she says, once Esme was locked in Windymere, the killing stopped… until… Dante says, Cabrera was slashed with a hook, and Molly says, Heather Webber killed the exotic animals dealer as well. Elizabeth says she told Nikolas that they had to let Esme go. Because of their actions, the police were focusing on Esme, not the real killer, but he insisted he just wanted to keep Esme until she gave birth. Then she started to fear Esme’s life was in danger, but before she could do anything, Esme jumped from the tower. It’s a miracle she and the baby survived. (Like it hasn’t happened before. More than once.)

Esme asks the officers to get Heather out, and Heather begs to stay. Whatever Esme wants, she’ll do it. Esme says, Heather has killed people; does she even understand that? Heather says, people who hurt Esme. She was only ever trying to protect her, like any good mother would. Esme says, Heather thinks a good mother is protective? She thinks Heather is right. She thinks a good mother protects her child, and she’s going to protect her child by keeping him the hell away from Heather. The officers start to drag Heather away, and she says, all she wanted was to be a mother to Esme. Esme says, her father is dead, and as far as she’s concerned, her mother is dead too.

Elizabeth says, she was convinced once Esme showed up in town, she and Nikolas would be caught, but then Uncle Victor swooped in to help Nikolas by destroying any evidence of Esme’s imprisonment in the north tower. Molly says, and she has no information on Nikolas’s current whereabouts? but Elizabeth says she’s sorry; she doesn’t. Molly gets up, and thanks her. She tells Dante that she’d like to speak to him in private, and Elizabeth says, that’s it? Molly says, they’ll let her know if they want to speak with her again, and Elizabeth asks, what about the immunity? Molly says, that’s the agreement, and Elizabeth says, even if she doesn’t deserve it? Scotty looks like he might have a heart attack.

Laura says, all Spencer can do right now is really take care of himself, so he can take care of that little baby until his father comes back. He thanks her, and says, she always gives good advice. She tells him that she’s going to say this as many times as she has to until he hears it. He’s not responsible for what Ryan Chamberlain did to this family. He says, his father would still be here if he hadn’t pushed him away, but she says, that’s not true. His father is a grown man who made his own choices. Unfortunately, some of those choices were bad. Spencer says, there’s still nothing he wouldn’t give to see him walk through that door right now. She tells him that she loves him, and he says he loves her too.

Ava tells Austin that she doesn’t want to be Ryan’s final victim, but her present situation is compromised. The police are already suspicious. They asked her what he was doing at Windymere last night, and she said she didn’t know. He says, Felicia asked him the same question. He had a really good answer for her. Ava says, care to share? but he says, no. He thinks it’s more believable if he doesn’t tell her. Glass half full; this is what’s going on. The police are busy looking for Heather Webber, he’ll get out of here soon, then they’ll go back to Windymere… She says, and move Nikolas’s body? and Austin says, that’s right. There’s a knock at the door, and she jumps. He tells her, relax, and calls, come in. Finn walks in, and Ava smiles at him.

Josslyn says she’s glad Spencer came through for Trina, and Trina says, the joy is just falling off her in waves. Josslyn says she’s happy that Trina’s happy. Just take things slow. Trina says, right now, she only has so much headspace for romance. Most of it is filled with what she’s going to say to her mom when Portia finally tracks her down. Knowing her, it’s going to be sooner rather than later.

Jordan asks if this is what Curtis really wants to be doing; fighting with his ex-wife about who knew what and when? Shouldn’t he be talking to Portia? He says he has. He doesn’t know what happened. They sit down, and he says, one minute, he was this happy newly married man; the next minute, he’s canceling his honeymoon and picking up the pieces of his life. She asks if he’s spoken to Trina, but he says, Trina does not want to talk to him. She’s already accused him of trying to replace her dad. Maybe she’s right. He’s grown to care for that young lady so much. He looked forward to her coming home from college; listening about her classes and art projects. Wanting to keep her safe when The Hook killer was still out there. Now she finds out he might be taking the place of the father she adores. Jordan asks if anyone’s brought up a DNA test. What if he is Trina’s biological father? Her phone dings, and she says, the ADA wants to talk to her. She has to go. He says he’ll see himself out, and she goes to the door. She tells him, regardless of what happened, Trina needs to know she can count on him, and she leaves.

Molly asks if Elizabeth has anything more to say, and Scotty says, she doesn’t. Elizabeth says she’s good, and Molly leaves. Dante says, Elizabeth came forward and owned up to some mistakes she made. Not everyone would do the same thing. He leaves, and finds Molly in the squad room, telling Jordan, according to Elizabeth, Nikolas committed a serious crime. Jordan asks, any reason to doubt her story? and Dante says, none at all. They didn’t even know she was involved. She could have stayed silent, but came forward out of sincere desire to do the right thing. Jordan asks if she has any idea where Nikolas is, but Dante says, no. He thinks with Nikolas’s wealth and connections, he could be anywhere.

Ava says she was just thanking Austin for last night, and Finn says, they’ve both been through an ordeal. No toxins were found in Austin’s bloodwork, so once his wound heals, he’ll be good to go. Austin thanks him, and Finn tells Ava that he’s sorry to hear Nik skipped town. Classy move, leaving your wife stranded on an island with a crazy person. Ava says, ex-wife. Who told him that Nikolas skipped town? Was it Elizabeth? He says, poor choice of words, and Ava asks, how is Elizabeth? She gave such a beautiful toast at Curtis and Portia’s wedding (they keep rubbing it in that I missed something). Is she working today? She would love to tell her in person. She asks if Elizabeth is working on another floor, but Finn says, he wouldn’t know. He has another patient to see, but if Austin has any questions, Austin knows where to find him. He jets, and Ava closes the door. Austin says, what? and she says, there goes our breathing room. We’re out of time.

Laura and spencer get to Esme’s room as Heather is being dragged out, yelling, you’re making a mistake. You need your mother. She sees Laura, and says, you. This is all your fault. They could have shared their grandson. They could have been grammies together, but no. Laura wanted that baby all to herself. That’s why Laura had her dragged out of Windymere, so Laura could fill her daughter’s head with lies about her. Laura says she wanted Esme to give birth in peace, without any added stress from Heather, and Spencer stealthily walks toward Esme’s door on the other side of the hallway. Laura says, Heather’s the same as she always has been. She’s selfish, unfeeling, and dangerous.

Spencer goes into Esme’s room, and Esme sits up. She asks, how’s Ace? How’s her baby boy?

Scotty says, Elizabeth did a great job, and she thanks him, but says she doesn’t feel completely unburdened. She doesn’t know how she’s going to live with herself for aiding and abetting Nikolas. He says, he’s probably in the Bahamas, soaking up the sun, but they’ll catch up with him eventually. She says, and when they do, they’re going to throw the book at him, aren’t they?

Molly tells Jordan that she’ll have to recuse herself from the case. Nikolas is her cousin, and he’s been accused of a serious crime. She’ll notify Robert and ask him to take over. Jordan asks her to tell Robert that they’re working with the state police to hunt down Mr. Cassadine, and Dante says, it keeps coming back to Nikolas. Molly suggests they start on Spoon Island. Victor may not have destroyed all the evidence that corroborates Elizabeth’s story. Dante says, they have to start that search immediately if they have any hope in finding what’s left to be found.

Ava finds Finn, and says, Elizabeth is at the PCPD, isn’t she? He says, good luck to her, and keeps walking. She runs back into Austin’s room, and tells him to unhook himself from all those machines, and get dressed. He asks, what’s going on? and she throws his clothes on the bed, saying, he’s checking himself out. He says, right now? Why? She says, because the entire Port Charles police department is about to descend upon Spoon Island. Only this time, they’re going to be looking for Nikolas.

There’s a knock at Trina’s dorm room door, and she says she doesn’t have time to deal with her mom. She ignores it, but it becomes more persistent, so she answers. It’s Curtis.

Esme asks if Spencer saw her baby, and he says, he’s amazing. She says, of course (🍷) he is, and he says, he and his grandmother are going to take very good care of him while she’s in prison. She says she thought she got to keep him, and he says, in prison? How’s that going to work? The arrangements have been made. No expense will be spared. She can trust her baby will be in good hands… while she’s in prison.

Heather says, Laura is stealing her daughter and her grandson, and has the audacity to call her selfish and unfeeling? Laura says, and dangerous, and Heather says she’s got that right. Laura is going to pay for this. Laura asks, how? Where Heather is going, she’ll never see the light of day again. Heather asks if she’s sure about that. The officers drag her into the elevator, and Heather says she’d watch out if she were Laura. Laura hasn’t seen the last of her yet. As the elevator doors close, Heather yells that Laura better be careful, and Laura all but rolls her eyes.

Tomorrow, Trina says she and Curtis will have to agree to disagree: Elizabeth asks if Scotty thinks it will really make a difference; and Sasha says, that would be the worst thing that could happen.

Below Deck

In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, Captain Lee is feeling better, and coming back. She’s not sharing it with the crew until he makes it back. Once he’s on the island, she’ll let them know. The dinner table is declared an explosion of beauty and fire. In Fraser’s interview, he says, they’re a stew down on a big boat. The guests are wonderful, but they’re a lot of work. He needs a new stew quick, and needs them to be good. Rachel’s dinner is American steakhouse themed. She feels it goes with 80s night, where the guests will be waving glowsticks and dressing in weird outfits. Captain Sandy is worried about docking the boat, since the wind is up to 35 knots. In her interview, she says, it kicks up the swell, and she gets concerned about an anchor drag. There’s danger of landing on the rocks, and she doesn’t sleep when the wind is like this. Hayley says, the cabins are an absolute sh*tshow, and Rachel says, it’s all annoying. In Rachel’s interview, she says, guest Laquish is getting her 24 karat gold steak. The gold has no taste, but visually, the presentation is fantastic. She’s also decided to give everyone gold dust on theirs. Hayley asks Tyler when he realized he was gay, and says she thought she was gay for a while. In her interview, she says she had a severe obsession with Geri Halliwell. If she’d known where Geri lived, she would have hidden in her garden. Her dad took her to see the Spice Girls when she was nine, and she dressed up like Geri in a Union Jack dress. She looked like a dwarf prostitute [sic]. We see a photo, and she says, her dad must have wondered why his daughter looked like a small sex worker. The guests change into their 80s outfits, and in Fraser’s interview, he says, 80s fashion was great  because it got left there, and can be appreciated from afar. Laquish yells, time to party like a rock star! and Tyler says, it’s been a long freaking day. But everyone still goes to bed earlier than anyone would have in the 80s.

It’s Hayley’s birthday, and she says, today is about her and only her. In Katie’s interview, she says she loves Tony. He has a great heart, but sometimes she has to encourage him to get things done. It’s frustrating because they’re a team, and should all work equally. In the captain’s interview, she says she’s witnessed a change in Fraser; he’s happy and engaged, and got himself out of the abyss. He’s showing action, and she’s proud of him. Tony gripes to Ben about Katie bossing him around, and in Ben’s interview, he says, Katie is very much her own woman, but Tony is a free-spirited island boy. She can’t tell him what to do; he’s going to explode. Captain Sandy sends Fraser an encouraging text, saying, she sees that he’s in it to win it, and his character is shining through. Fraser tells the captain that it means a lot, and she says, he’s learning and it’s an epic thing for him. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says the wind is down to 13 knots, and 13 to 18 is her window. Breakfast orders are taken, and in the galley, Rachel says, mother***ing ass bitch, about everyone’s different dietary restrictions. They head for Rodney Bay Marina, a thunderstorm beginning, and in her interview, the captain says, it’s never fun to dock during a storm; it can be dangerous. The wind can push them off the dock, and she has rocks portside. She needs the bow line, and it’s on Ben. Ben has to make a big-ass throw, and does it on the first try.

Breakfast is served, and the captain follows up with Norma about getting another stew. Laquish asks for a number of things, including a pear, and in Hayley’s interview, she says, here we effing go again. She’s asking for anything… In Fraser’s interview, he says, everything. Who wants a pear? Hayley says, I’ll pull it out of my ass for you, and Fraser says he’s going to put it on Laquish’s head. At the breakfast table, Laquish repeats, I don’t care, a million times, and in Rachel’s interview, she says, eat my cooter is how she feels. She’s done. On behalf of the Queens, primary Laura presents Captain Sandy with a cape to protect her future endeavors, a crown to show her status, and a scepter for disciplining bad behavior. They see the guests off, and Laura thanks them for the wonderful time, and thanks Rachel for keeping them thin. She looks forward to seeing them again, and everyone does the wave. Fraser says, thank God it’s over and done with, and Laquish wanders around the dock. In Hayley’s interview, she says, Laquish has no idea where she’s going; like a fart in the wind. Ben tells Ross about Katie bossing Tony around when they’re on the same level. The crew gathers for the tip meeting, and Captain Sandy asks how they think it went. Fraser says, it’s been his favorite so far, because there was harmony, and the captain says, the energy on the boat changed; it was a total reset – her favorite word this season. In her interview, she says, Fraser is killing it, and tells the crew that their potential is incredible. In his interview, Fraser says, the pat on the back makes them feel appreciated. Unfortunately, the tip doesn’t reflect as much appreciation, since it’s $18,300 or $1525 each. Rachel says, okay, cool, and everyone laughs. In Katie’s interview, she says, it’s the lowest tip this season. After everything they did, it was a slap in the face. The captain says, they have a charter tomorrow, and to enjoy Hayley’s birthday celebration. Ross radios Katie to meet on the sundeck, and tells her that he knows she’s proactive and assertive, but they have to respect each other. She can be bossy, and needs to wind it back a little with Tony. He’s more delicate, and it’s winding him up. She says she’s not being mean, but she works harder, and Ross tells her that Tony didn’t say anything, but someone sees it happening. She’s stepping out of line.

Ross tells Katie that they need to respect each other in their positions; it upsets people to be bossed by a peer. In Ross’s interview, he says, he hates having to reprimand a deckhand, but he has to manage correctly. It’s tough to tell Katie, and he feels slightly guilty because he crossed the line when he became romantically intimate with her. There’s a saying, don’t screw the crew, and it’s because of things like this. It’s time for the preference sheet meeting, and Captain Sandy meets with Ross, Rachel (ha-ha! Ross and Rachel), and Fraser. She tells them, the primary is Jake, who’s in real estate, and is the president of a mortgage broker firm. He’s bringing along business associates, and would like a steel drummer when the guests sit down for their first meal. Okay… On day two, they want some high energy games on the beach, with the crew participating. They want the yacht to feel like a nightclub where there’s a DJ and drinking. The captain thinks they’ll be a challenge on every level, and she’s working on getting another stew. Hayley calls her boyfriend, and in Fraser’s interview, he says he ordered a cake. All he could think of for decorations were Hayley’s amazing hair and a foghorn; she has one of the loudest voices. She brings so much joy and light to the boat, he wants to make her feel special. Norma texts the captain that stew Leigh-Ann will be at the boat tomorrow. Fraser talks about trying to be with girls when he was younger, and says he thinks vaginas are the devil. Maybe you had to be there, but his delivery made me literally lol. This was actually a funny episode overall.

Hayley says, a nice birthday present would be sleep. She’s going to have a couple of drinks, but she needs eight hours, or she’ll wake up a horrible person. The cake arrives, and it has her face on it with wild red icing hair. The crew gathers, and in Rachel’s interview, she says, the cake is creepy AF. Hayley thanks them for making her birthday special, and they party, drinking and dancing and drinking some more. Hayley says she couldn’t ask for a better group to share her birthday with. Katie apologizes to Tony for bossing him, but he says, no worries. In Katie’s interview, she says she doesn’t want Tony to be upset. A lot of guys don’t like taking sh*t from girls, and she’s striving to be bigger and better. In Hayley’s interview, she says she absolutely loved today. It was better than last year, but her head is going to bloody kill tomorrow. Ben and Camille text. Katie tells Ross that she was born on Friday the 13^th, and he says, things are starting to make sense. Captain Sandy calls Fraser to the bridge, and says she got the wheels in motion. She shows him Leigh-Ann’s resume, and he notices she’s had chief stew experience. In his interview, he says, there are two roads. One where she comes in and doubts his authority, or one where she knows what she’s doing. Put her anywhere and she’ll be happy to assist. He hopes it’s the latter. Hayley quickly cleans the cabin she’ll be sharing with Leigh-Ann, saying, she’ll be disgusted. Leigh-Ann comes up the dock, and Fraser goes out to meet her. Ben says he thinks he knows her; they both have nudes of each other on their phones. In Ben’s interview, he says he can’t believe he knows her. You can’t write this stuff.

Ben tells the deckhands that he and Leigh-Ann met on Tinder a year ago. They’ve never met in person, but they both have nudes on their phones. They’d decided to sext, and here she is. He says, small world, and Tony says he’s going to enjoy this. In Leigh-Ann’s interview, she says, her favorite part of yachting is boys. Joking-not-joking. She’s from Cape Town, and wants to work hard so she can get to the top as soon as she can. Fraser introduces her around, and in her interview, she says she’d be described as a bit of a tomboy. She likes speed and motor sports, and the adrenaline rush of jumping out of a plane. She tells the crew that she and Ben know each other through Instagram, and Fraser says, yachting is the smallest world. Captain Lee calls Captain Sandy, and says he’ll be there in an hour, and she calls the crew to the main salon for a meeting. She welcomes Leigh-Ann, and says, this meeting is bittersweet, as she’s grown fond of them. Captain Lee is coming back. Everyone gets all wistful, and she says, when you go through the ups and downs, and climb out on top, it forms an incredible bond. She tells them that they’re special, and in her interview, she says, it was like they were in the trenches, and she’s grateful for their hard work and dedication. She tells them that they’re pretty awesome, and she’s going to miss them, and there are hugs all around. In Captain Lee’s interview, he says he’s so goddam glad be back; back where he belongs. He comes on board using a cane with an arm brace, and tells Captain Sandy that it was sciatic nerve damage. In his interview, he says he did a lot of physical therapy, and it was tough. His doctors told him that he won’t do any more damage by working, so he came back. Captain Sandy tells him that Alissa is gone because of insubordination, and in his interview, Captain Lee says, she did the right thing. If they need to go, they need to go. Captain Sandy had to deal, and made the best decision for the boat. He thanks her for bailing him out, and she thanks him for coming back and bailing her out. She radios the crew, asking if anyone can give Captain Lee a hand with his luggage. Everyone says goodbye to Captain Sandy, and in her interview, she says she hopes they shine. They’ve shown how far they can come, and hopes they walk away knowing they’re better. She finished with an excellent crew. In Fraser’s interview, he says, he and Captain Sandy had their ups and downs, but he admires and respects her. She gave him another chance. Captain Lee thanks the crew, and tells them to get their asses back to work.

Next time, a bunch of idiot guests; Tony thinks the sexual tension is going boom; and Leigh-Ann says she’s the type who goes for what she wants.

🏖 On the nonsense that is Summer House, Kyle had gone on a tirade about Carl, and when Danielle called him on bitching about something that was over a year old, he stomped out. Amanda followed him, and back at the table, Danielle said, him bringing old news up, and saying Carl was lucky to work for him, didn’t work for her. Amanda made Kyle shake it off, literally, and smile. In Danielle’s interview, she said she was excited to meet Gabby. She’d dated Gabby’s ex, and already knew who she was. Gabby told Danielle that her ex had actively cheated with her, and Danielle said she’d had no idea they’d overlapped. Apparently, the ex had been with Danielle at Coachella on Gabby’s birthday, then ghosted Danielle afterward. Gabby said she’d gotten into her ex’s social media, pretending to be him, and said, I’m a liar and cheater. Gabby was the best thing that ever happened to him, he’d wasted her time, and it was a pattern of behavior for him. Gabby said he was lucky she didn’t do anything else. Danielle and Gabby hugged, since they were best friends now, and the housemates moved on to a club, but not before stuffing French fries into their bags for later. Classy as ever. After the club, the girls went to bed, but the guys got in the hot tub, and Kyle shoved chips into his mouth.

In Sam’s interview, she said her boxing trainer, Josh, was coming. She loves muscles and tattoos, and Josh is an ex-NFL player. Her ultimate goal was to clear her roster, and she knew she had to kiss a lot of frogs. The frog tally was racking up, but she was having fun. Danielle video chatted with Carl and Lindsay, telling them about Kyle’s tantrum. She said Kyle had claimed Carl was lucky he’d kept him on, and told Carl that he deserved better. Carl said his involvement in the company was important, and Danielle said she wouldn’t work for Kyle. In Gabby’s interview, she said her sister had moved to New Orleans. She’d been Gabby’s built-in best friend and plus one. She was used to her sister being there, and felt really alone. She didn’t blame Danielle for anything, since Danielle was as much a victim of her ex as she was. She was excited to have Danielle for a friend, and it would make her ex sh*t his pants; she thrived in that space. Plus, Danielle was an amazing girl; her ex has incredible taste.

Paige said she was making a tea party for the girls, while Kyle was taking whatever guys wanted to go to a brewery. In Kyle’s interview, he said the level of estrogen was suffocating (maybe he should quite contributing to it), and he needed to do something with a bro. Paige explained an important step in sandwich making, telling the girls to always put the cheese directly on the bread with no condiments between them. Her grandpa owned a deli, and he should know. I’ll have to keep this in mind. I can’t believe I gained actual knowledge from this show, however unimportant. Paige had hired a server, so the girls kicked back, letting him do the work. They picked cards out of a teapot, and had to answer whatever question was on the card. As usual, it was mostly sex questions, and I wonder why these people are so obsessed with anal when all of them claim they’d never do it. They talked about having kids, and Amanda said she’d gone off birth control after she and Kyle got married, but she hadn’t had a period for a while, even though she wasn’t pregnant. She never thought that it wouldn’t happen naturally, but the girls were less concerned about that than why Amanda hadn’t had a period. They encouraged her to see a doctor immediately, and in Amanda’s interview, she said she hadn’t told Kyle because she didn’t love telling people things that might cause fear and concern without having answers. She probably doesn’t love telling Kyle anything that’s not good news. Or even neutral news. She probably doesn’t love telling Kyle anything.

Danielle brought up the Carl discussion, and Amanda said, in the beginning, Carl had done a lot of things other companies would have fired him for. Danielle admitted she’d talked to Carl and Lindsay, and in Amanda’s interview, she said she wasn’t mad about it, but she wanted the drama resolved and squashed. Not more tension. The girls got drunk and went to meet the guys at an outdoor space of a restaurant that had a giant Connect Four game. Oliver showed up with his friend Robert, as well as trainer Josh. Sam asked Josh what he wanted to drink, and he said he stayed away from alcohol, which means he’s probably with the wrong crowd. Danielle was itching to talk to Kyle, but Chris told her that this night was about partying, not fixing things. Danielle agreed that they were too wasted to converse, and Kyle wailed that she’d been vomiting words about him all weekend. He dared her to call Carl, but she said she already had, and – you guessed it – Kyle stormed off. In Ciara’s interview, she said, Kyle wins most dramatic, and we flashed back to his theatrical exits over the seasons. Danielle wanted to resolve it, but Paige said she didn’t need to; it didn’t involve her. Danielle was ride or die for Lindsay and Carl, but Paige never felt like it was reciprocal. She didn’t think Carl would say anything if the shoe was on the other foot, and asked if Danielle thought they gave her the same friendship.

Back at the house, Danielle said she didn’t want to see Kyle for a million years, which sounded good to me. Sam danced on the counter, and Josh watched when he wasn’t messing with his phone. In Sam’s interview, she said she was looking for a guy to jump on the counter and dance with her, not watch. They slept in the same bed, but Sam told him, no funny business. Kyle woke up Amanda at 3 am, and asked her to scratch his back. If he’d woken me up, I’d scratch his eyes out. In her interview, Sam said, on paper, Josh had the things she was attracted to; good looking, ripped, and ambitious. But she needed someone as big, bright, and loud as she was. Ciara told Danielle that she and Kyle needed to talk, but Danielle said she didn’t want to after last night. She was out and over the whole thing.

The housemates had a pool day, once again showing us that all the wrong people get the perks, and Amanda asked Sam about Josh. Sam said he was a nice boy, but she wasn’t in love with him. He’s nice and easy to talk to, so she was glad he came out, but she was hoping to thin her roster. Amanda promised that this summer, Sam would find the man of her dreams. Danielle said she was going to matchmake Gabby, since she had an intimate knowledge of Gabby’s type. Josh continued to be on his phone most of the time, and barely noticed that he’d been put in the friendzone. Kyle asked to talk to Danielle, and said he didn’t want any unnecessary anxiety. Danielle said he was nasty to her. He’d been talking smack about Carl, and it hurt her to hear it, but she didn’t want their friendship to go south because of Carl and Lindsay. She cared about them, but admitted maybe she went too hard. It shouldn’t be her and Kyle arguing. Kyle said he was sorry. She’d walked into a sensitive subject that he’s not handling well as a friend or CEO. He’d texted Carl that he’s done. The last thing he thought was that he’d be having a conversation about work during a house weekend. He was struggling, and could make it easier and fire Carl, but it made him sad. Danielle suggested he have another hard conversation with Carl, but Kyle said he didn’t know what to do. Wow. He almost had a moment of clarity.

Next time, Andrea, Carl, and Lindsay arrive; the housemates play Stir the Pot; Amanda wants to go home; and Kyle says, f*** everybody for giving Lindsay so much power.

🕺🏻 Moving Like Jagger…

Park here for a while tomorrow, and see what’s happening in Port Charles and New Jersey. Until then, stay safe, stay stepping away from the screen now and then, checking out the real world, and stay thinking before you act and examining your motives.