What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Two guys are doing a drug deal in the hallway at The Savoy, and Curtis tells them, he owns this place, and it’s not that kind of club. When he says leave, they leave. Curtis escorts them out of the club, and flashes back to Marshall saying, he left before his trouble became his family’s trouble.

Marshall pulls Epiphany’s chair out for her at the PC Grill, and she says she sees chivalry is still alive and well. He says, his mom and daddy raised him right, and she says she supposes he’ll insist on picking up the bill. He says, of course (🍷); he asked her out after all. She says they’re going to split the check, and she doesn’t want to hear any arguments about it. He says, just one, then he’ll write it off. As long as they can say, this is taking his band’s new singer out to dinner, so they can discuss future gigs. She says she never agreed to be his new singer, and she doesn’t want to spoil their evening getting into it. Let’s talk about something else. He says, fair enough. Why doesn’t she tell him that long story about why she decided not to become a doctor?

Brando comes into the gym, and TJ is there. TJ says he has to head to the hospital in a few, but if Brando needs a sparring partner, he has some time. Brando asks if TJ is looking for another chance to deck him in the face, and TJ says, come on. Brando says he never thanked TJ for his concern when Liam passed, but he hopes TJ doesn’t think he has to forget about everything and be his friend because he lost his son.

Sasha tries to get zen in yoga class, when Gladys comes in. She says she didn’t know Sasha practiced yoga. They can be yoga buddies. (Is that a thing?) Maxie and Felicia come in, and Felicia says, it’s Sasha and Gladys. Maxie says, no. If they acknowledge Gladys, they’ll never get rid of her. Felicia says, they’ll go to the other side of the room then. They bring in their stuff, and go to get ready. Felicia says she hasn’t done yoga in she doesn’t know how long. She doesn’t know if she can even do a downward facing dog. Maxie says, the good thing about yoga is, you only do what you’re able to. You can spend most of the class in child’s pose and you feel great afterward. And your mind feels very peaceful. Felicia says, goodness knows, she could use some peace of mind, and Maxie asks, what happened? Felicia says, she saw Peter.

Brook walks into the new place, which is Jax’s old place, with Bailey, followed by Chase carrying boxes. He says, nice place Jax has here, and Brook says, he knows how to live. Chase says, Jax really isn’t charging them rent? and she says, Jax and her mother go way back. She’s actually the whole reason he came to Port Charles in the first place, and he refuses to charge them anything. She asks if Chase went out on the terrace; it goes right down to the beach. He says he has to admit, there are worse places to co-parent that sweet little girl. Finn and Dante come in with more boxes. Breathing hard, Finn says, that’s the last of it. He’ll return the moving van, and bring Chase’s car back. Dante says, a whole box full of shoes, huh? and Chase asks how he missed the other four boxes. Finn asks what they’re going to do with all this stuff, and Brook says, her room is done, so they can put those in Chase’s room. Chase asks, what about his stuff? and she says, he means two shirts and a pair of jeans? He says, nothing has changed, has it? He remembers her taking over his apartment the last time she moved in, and she says, and he whined just as loud last time. He’s the one who suggested moving in together again. Finn tells Dante, one day of living together and they’re already talking like an old married couple.

Portia tells Terry that she can work weekends now, since the holiday break is over and Trina’s back in school. Terry says, great, and Elizabeth walks up to them. She’s wearing a dress, and Terry says, someone looks pretty amazing. Portia asks, who’s the lucky guy? and Terry says, that’s rhetorical; they know it’s Finn. Elizabeth says, it’s not a big deal, and if they’re short-handed, she can work. She’s sure Finn won’t mind. Terry says, not on your life, sister, and Portia asks why Elizabeth is looking for an excuse to cancel. Terry says, she thought Elizabeth and Finn agreed to stop dancing around their feelings, and Elizabeth says, they did. She just can’t shake this feeling that if they did actually go out on a date, something bad is going to happen.

Dante says he can’t wait until Brook and Chase start arguing over who does the dishes, and Finn says, who takes out the trash. Dante says, and trims the trees, and Brook says, Chase, Chase, and Chase. Chase says, hey, and she says, the point is, this move is out of expediency for Bailey’s sake. Chase says, he wants to spend more time with Bailey without making things awkward for Michael and Willow. Finn says, whatever, bro. Just remember, helping someone move is like driving someone to the airport. Never forget who was there for you. Chase asks how he can, when Finn keeps reminding him, and Finn says, but it’s so fun. Chase asks if he doesn’t have a date with Elizabeth tonight.

Portia asks how Elizabeth’s wedding ring showed up in her locker, and Elizabeth says, it’s crazy. She put it away at home. Terry asks, what happened when she asked Jake and Aiden about it? and Elizabeth says, they both denied having anything to do with it. Portia asks if it’s possible that Elizabeth put it in her locker, and it wasn’t at home like she thought; she just misremembered it. Terry says, Elizabeth has been working a lot of extra shifts. That can mess with your memory. Elizabeth says she’s been wracking her brain, but she doesn’t remember seeing the ring after she put it in the kitchen drawer on New Year’s Eve. She has been working a lot. Maybe she’s just distracted. Portia says she doesn’t think anything is going to happen on Elizabeth’s date with Finn, and Terry says, and if she doesn’t want to go on an actual date, that’s okay too, but she thinks Elizabeth knows that she wants to. Elizabeth asks if Terry is saying it’s just nerves, and Terry nods. Portia says she thinks what Terry is saying is, get out of here; go have fun. Elizabeth says, fine, and tells them to wish her luck. They do, and Elizabeth leaves.

Drew comes into The Savoy, and gives Curtis a fist bump. He says he’s kicking himself for not being around to invest when Curtis first opened, and Curtis says, he has no complaints. Except for one. Drew says, Curtis’s father suddenly showing up in Port Charles. He’s sorry he wasn’t there to help dig up information about where Marshall was all these years. Curtis says, he actually knows where Marshall has been all these years, but unfortunately, it just raises more questions.

The waiter serves Epiphany and Marshall, and Marshall raises his glass, saying, to a beautiful and talented lady. She says, and to a dangerously charming man, and they clink glasses. They savor the wine, and she says she knows he wanted to discuss her career choices, but the truth is, she really loves being a nurse. He says, but she originally dreamed of becoming a doctor, and she says, she loves the sciences. And she never had a problem cutting open a frog in biology class. But when she told her guidance counselor that she wanted to become a doctor… Marshall says, let him guess. He was a mean old man. She laughs, and he says, with dandruff, who thought women should be wives and mothers and raise a passel of kids. She says, when she told Mr. Workman that she wanted to go to med school, he said, Epiphany, you’re a smart young lady. I could see you becoming a nun or a nurse, but since I’ve seen you with that boyfriend of yours, I know you’re not going to be a nun. They laugh, and she says, it was a different time, but he says, it wasn’t quite the Middle Ages. There were quite a few female doctors while she was in school; women of color too. She says she knows, but it seemed out of reach for her, and Mr. Workman really cemented that perception. He asks if she ever wonders what would have happened if she hadn’t let that old fogey inside her head.

Maxie says, please tell her that she just imagined Felicia said that, and Felicia says, she just wanted to look Peter in the eye, and see for herself if he knew where Louise was. Maxie asks how many times she has to tell Felicia that Peter doesn’t know where Louise is, and Felicia says she believes Maxie now, and she’s sorry. Peter was bluffing. It’s really obvious he’s desperate to reunite with his daughter. Maxie says, that’s what she’s afraid of, and sits down. Felicia joins Maxie, and tells her, Peter said some extremely nasty, vile things about me. Maxie says, Peter’s really good at finding your weak spot, and pushing really hard until you scream, and Felicia tells her, some of the things he said were true. She let Maxie down as a mother, and knows how much it hurt Maxie, but Maxie says, no. That was a long time ago. They’re different now. Peter is the one who taught her the true meaning of betrayal. Felicia can’t let him get to her. Felicia says, easier said than done. She doesn’t know how Maxie does it. Peter said some nasty things to her, and she’s a nervous wreck. Maxie has been dealing with Louise’s disappearance for over half a year now, and she’s still strong. She’s Felicia’s hero.

Finn says, as much fun as this has been, he needs to get changed to meet Elizabeth at the Grill. Chase says, hallelujah, at long last, and Brook tells him to quit giving Finn such a hard time. She and Elizabeth have had their differences over the years, but she helped save Chase’s life, and clearly makes Finn happy. So she thinks it’s time they burned some old bridges, and rebuilt new ones. Dante says, that’s Bensonhurst for, I’m happy for you, and Finn says, thanks. He leaves, and Brook says, she needs to change and feed Bailey, and asks where Chase put her bag. He says, it’s in the kitchen by the formula, and tells Brook that he already put together Bailey’s mobile. She asks, how cute is it? How many videos did they take? He says, too many, and they laugh. She says she’ll be back in a few, and leaves. Dante sits down, and says, so what’s really going on with him and Brook?

Marshall says, nice place, and thanks Epiphany for recommending it. She says, her pleasure, when Elizabeth comes in. She motions Elizabeth over, and says Elizabeth looks gorgeous. She introduces Marshall, and Elizabeth asks if they’ve met, but he says, if they had, he’d remember. Epiphany tells Elizabeth, ignore him a little bit. He’s a musician, and you know how they are. She asks if Elizabeth is alone, and suggests Elizabeth join them, but Elizabeth says she’s meeting someone. Epiphany says, Dr. Finn? and Elizabeth nods. Epiphany says, so proud, and Elizabeth says she’s going to go wait for her table. She leaves, and Marshall says he knows that look. Elizabeth and all the nurses who work under her aren’t just colleagues, are they? They’re family. She says, and he knows this because… He says, it’s the same look he gets about his own family.

TJ holds the heavy bag, while Brando punches, and Brando says, he’s sorry. He’s wasting TJ’s time. TJ says, no worries. Brando is using the bag to distract himself, but can’t stop thinking about his son. Brando says, he and Sasha watched as he was taken off the ventilator. It’s not something either one of them is going to forget anytime soon, if ever. TJ asks if he’s considered therapy, and Brando says, he would if Sasha wanted to, but she’s distancing herself from him. She doesn’t want to talk about Liam; she goes back to work, and acts like everything is normal. TJ says, nothing is normal for them. People grieve in different ways. Maybe Sasha needs to grieve privately. Brando says, the thing is, he’s worried Sasha’s not grieving at all.

Gladys comes into the yoga class, and sits next to Sasha. She says she can’t believe how busy they’ve been at the office. So much preparation for this IPO launch. It’s exciting. Is Sasha going to be the one to ring the bell when Deception goes public? Sasha is still trying to be zen, and suggests Gladys save her questions for after class; they’re here to practice mindfulness. Gladys says, Sasha really needs a lot of inner peace right now because of Liam, but Sasha says, no. Gladys says, please don’t shut her out. Talking about loss really helps. Sasha’s got to open up to someone. Sasha asks, what makes Gladys think she’s not? and Gladys says, Brando told her that Sasha has been keeping him at arm’s length since the baby’s funeral.

Maxie tells Felicia not to put her on pedestal. She’s not as strong as Felicia thinks she is. Felicia says, this is why Maxie needs to return to Pawtuck with Anna and Austin, retrace her steps, and see if they can figure out who took Louise. Maxie says she doesn’t see how retracing her steps the night she was running from that crazy nurse, will help her remember who stole her daughter, and Felicia wonders how Maxie can’t see how important this is. She won’t be in labor, or fearing for her safety, or her baby’s safety. She’ll be able to take time to concentrate, and focus on all the events and the details… Maxie says, stop, please. She’s not going back to that cabin ever.

Finn walks into the Grill, and goes over to Elizabeth. He says she looks beautiful, and she says he doesn’t look too bad himself.

Curtis tells Drew that he guesses he could just move on, and not let it bother him, especially when things with him and Portia are so good. Drew says, so things are getting serious? and Curtis says, yeah. Drew says, but? and Curtis says, there’s no buts when it comes to Portia. It’s Marshall. He implied he was in Witness Protection; something about organized crime. But when Curtis asked for details, the man shut down. He said it was safer for Aunt Stella and TJ if Curtis didn’t know. Drew asks if the man could be any more cryptic, and Curtis says, tell him about it, and he’s supposed to get to know this man and open up. It’s like a one-way street. Drew says, and Curtis wants to know what kind of mess Marshall got himself into. Curtis says, yeah, but how can he trust the man if Marshall doesn’t care enough about him to tell the truth about himself? Drew says, that’s one way to look at it, and Curtis says, he means there’s more than one way? Drew says, maybe Marshall isn’t telling Curtis everything because he cares about Curtis.

Terry asks Portia how things are going with her and Curtis, and Portia says, good. They admitted to each other that they’re falling in love with one another. Terry asks why Portia didn’t tell her earlier, and Portia says, she wanted to focus on supporting Elizabeth. Terry says, Elizabeth would have happy for Portia, and Portia says, she knows, but what about Terry? Is she getting any action on the dating apps? Terry says, plenty of guys want to meet… right now, and Portia says, and Terry is more of a let’s take-things-slow kind of gal. Terry says, apparently, exchanging messages to get to know someone is so ten years ago, but ten years ago, she was so busy with her residency, she didn’t have time to look at anyone not in a hospital bed. Now she’s not sure there will ever be another Camelot. Portia says, maybe Camelot is a lot closer than Terry thinks.

Brando tells TJ, forget what he said. Of course (🍷) Sasha’s dealing with grieving in her own way. TJ says, it sounds like she’s suppressing her grief, and Brando says, she lost a child she carried for nine months; it was all she could think about. She was so excited to welcome the little guy into the world, when everything went wrong, she… TJ says, she’s distracting herself not to think about how much she’s hurting, and Brando says, if she can get through the day by diving into something at Deception, who is he to argue? But she has to have some outlet for her grief somewhere, right? This repression isn’t healthy. TJ tells him, who’s to say she doesn’t have an outlet, even if it isn’t him? Does Brando think this is less about Sasha not talking to him about Liam, and more about Brando projecting what he needs from her?

Sasha says she appreciates Gladys’s concern, but she’s fine. Gladys says, sorry; she’s not buying what Sasha is selling. Keeping your emotions bottled up doesn’t do a body good. Bottles crack, shatter even. Cleaning up the glass ain’t pretty. Sasha says, just because Gladys doesn’t like how she’s grieving, doesn’t mean she’s not grieving. Everyone grieves differently, and she’s sorry if she’s not crying on Gladys’s shoulder or Brando’s. Gladys says, Brando is too. He’s mourning that little baby just as much as Sasha is. Sasha says, maybe doing yoga with Gladys right now isn’t such a good idea after all. She gets up, and goes in the back.

Felicia tells Maxie that she’s sorry. She should be more sensitive to what happened to Maxie in that cabin. After that horrible nurse abducted her, and Peter… Maxie says she’s going to get some water, and asks if Felicia wants some. Felicia says, no thanks, and Maxie leaves.

Chase tells Dante, nothing is going on between him and Brook. They spent one night together, and now Bailey unites them. They came up with the solution to move in together so they could co-parent Bailey in private. Dante says, Brook kept Bailey a secret from Chase, and said Valentin was her father so she could get his ELQ shares. Chase should be really angry with her at this point, no? Chase flashes back to him and Brook making the decision to move in together, and Brook hugging him, and Dante says, however, he’s known Brook his entire life. Their families go way back, and despite the questionable things she’s done from time to time, he knows she has a good heart, and deep down, she’s a good person. He can totally see why Chase would have feelings for her. Chase says, no. Nothing can happen between them. There’s too much at stake.

Finn says, he can’t partake, but Elizabeth should feel free to order an adult beverage. There’s a napa cab, and a pretty decent pinot. Does she  have a preference? She says, all she really knows about wine is red, white, and rosé, and don’t think about recommending a cocktail; he’ll end up carrying her home. He says, so sparkling water? and she says, sounds good. He says, it’s been a while for him. Is this the part of the first date where they ask awkward questions and get to know each other better? She says, like, how many brothers and sisters do you have? and he says, what was your favorite subject in school? She says, did you have a pet growing up? and he says, do you get along you’re your mom and dad… Ignore that one. He didn’t mean… He doesn’t know what he meant. The waiter asks if they’d like to order wine, and Elizabeth says, yes.  

Portia wants to see Terry’s phone, and tells her, hand it over. She grabs it from Terry, who says, excuse me, but Portia says, she’s just downloading something. Terry asks, what? and Portia says, when Trina was home on her break, Trina told her about an app some of her friends from school are using. Terry says she has zero interest in lip syncing, but Portia says, this is a dating app. It’s anonymous; no photos. The app will verify her identity, and only share her information with people she agrees to meet with. It’s like anonymous texting, and she’s setting up a profile for Terry. Terry says she’s not sure about this, but Portia says, live a little please. She hands back the phone, saying, there you go, and Terry says, Portia’s shameless. Portia agrees she is, and says, that’s what friends are for. She’s going to check on her patients. Terry says, this is the last app she’s signing up for.

Curtis says, Drew thinks his father won’t tell him about his past because his father cares about him? Brother, please explain. Drew says, people in Witness Protection usually don’t advertise it. The program is for… Curtis says, informants, and Drew says, exactly, or in mob-speak, rats. When it comes to rats, the grudges and slights are never forgotten. Was Marshall able to disappear without anyone tracking him down? Curtis says, seems that way, and Drew says, if Curtis continues to dig into Marshall’s past, that could signal somebody that he’s resurfaced. Curtis says, that’s why Marshall told him if he continues talking, it could put Aunt Stella and TJ in danger. Drew says, not to mention himself. Yet, Curtis’s father implying that he’s in Witness Protection sounds like the ultimate sign of trust to him. Any chance Curtis wants to trust him back? I can’t believe Curtis is that ignorant about this stuff, especially since he was a P.I.

The waiter clears the table, and Marshall asks if Epiphany would care for dessert. He sees her look at Elizabeth and smile, and says, maybe they don’t need that ice cream sundae. She looks like someone who’s already gotten her cherry on top. She tells him, don’t get a swelled head, but maybe he was right earlier. Her nurses are her family. That’s why she’d never turn back the clock and go to med school instead of nursing school. He says he loves that she’s so proud of being a nurse, but no one said you can’t be proud and curious, and try something new. She says, that might work for him, being a musician and going from gig to gig with nothing and no one to hold him back. That’s not her. He says, if he could turn back the clock, he’d be there more, and maybe patching things up with Curtis wouldn’t be so slow going. She says, she had a son too; he’s gone now… Unfortunately, that’s the thing about time. You always think you have more of it than you do.

Dante says, nothing can ever happen between Chase and Brook because there’s too much at stake? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Chase says, if he lets himself fall for someone like Brook, it would be a major disaster. He knows she and Dante’s family used to be close, but he’s heard about some of the highly inappropriate stuff she did back in the day. She lied, schemed, hurt people. Brook listens at the door, and Chase says, him moving in with her is what’s best for Bailey. Dante suggests Chase tell him how he really feels, and Chase says he doesn’t think Brook is his type anyway. And even if she was, how would he be able to trust her when she wouldn’t know the truth if it was looking her in the face?

Finn tells Elizabeth that he’s sorry about before. He honestly wasn’t trying to get her to talk about her parents. She says, she always got along with her mom and dad, except for the usual adolescent outburst, and he asks, what happened? She says, after one particularly difficult summer, when she was with her parents and Doctors Without Borders, they shipped her off to Port Charles to live with her grandmother, and they haven’t given her much time since. He says he’s sorry, and she says, there are better people with worse stories. Franco used to try and fix things for her until he realized it was a lost cause. It was the only thing they fought about, but what made her feel safe was the little things; like cooking dinner, or painting an amazing abstract portrait of her in the studio. He says, that’s nice, and she says she’s sorry. Bringing up Franco isn’t the best topic for a first date. She’s trying not live in the past, and focus on the future. He says he hopes her future has him in it.

Dante says he thinks Chase needs some food in his belly, and to hit the hay early; he thinks this move has done Chase in. Brook comes back, and says, Bailey fell right asleep, after she changed and fed her. She guesses she has the magic touch. Does Dante want to stay for dinner? Dante says he’d love to, but he and Chase were supposed to go to the gym, right? Chase says he forgot to cancel. He hates bailing on Dante, but Dante says, it’s cool; Chase has lots to do. He’ll leave them to it. He asks Brook to give her sweet daughter a hug, and she says she will. He tells Chase, good luck, and leaves. Chase asks if Brook wants to start unpacking, but she says, no. She thinks he should go.

Maxie sees Sasha trying to sneak out, and says, wait. She’s leaving? Sasha says, Gladys, and Maxie says she saw Sasha sitting next to her. They could swap, and Sasha can sit next to Maxie’s mom. Sasha says, she thought Maxie liked her mom, and Maxie says she does, but she won’t stop bringing up Louise. And if Maxie wakes up thinking about the worst thing that’s ever happened to her, she’ll never get out of bed. Sasha says, she knows. Brando and Gladys keep pushing her to talk about her feelings, and talking about Liam is not going to make things better right now. Maxie says, Sasha will be mourning Liam for the rest of her life. She just has to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Sasha says, or she won’t be able to survive, and Liam might be forgotten.

TJ says, Brando is laser focused on Sasha’s grief, and that’s okay, but it’s a distraction from his own. Brando says, maybe if Sasha opened up about her pain and loss, he could open up to her. TJ says, she’s the only person who knows what Brando went through and is going through, and Brando says, if TJ ever becomes a psychiatrist, he’ll be TJ’s first patient. TJ says, in the meantime, Doc is no slouch; give him a call. If Brando still wants to talk right now, TJ can have someone take over his shift. Brando says, no, but he appreciates TJ taking the time for him. TJ says, his pleasure, they bro hug, and TJ leaves.

Epiphany says, Marshall never told her about what put the strain on his and Curtis’s relationship. Marshall suddenly gets up, clutching his chest.

Elizabeth says she’d like Finn to be in her life too. They hear Epiphany yelling, Marshall! and run over to him.   

Terry looks at her phone, and it says, 1 match has sent you a message. She says, already; that was fast, and she looks at the message.

Brando punches the bag again, then sits down, taking off his gloves. He looks at his phone, and sends a text.  

Maxie tells Sasha, do what she needs to do to get through the day, but if Sasha needs a shoulder to cry on, she’s here. Sasha thanks her, and Maxie says, and some unsolicited advice. Don’t push Brando away, or even Gladys. They really care about her, and one day, Sasha is going to need them. Maxie goes back in, and goes over to Felicia.

Sasha’s phone rings, and a text from Brando says, are your free tonight? I’d love to have you over for dinner. Class starts, and Sasha goes back in, and stands next to Gladys.

Chase asks why Brook wants him to go, and she tells him to go work out with Dante. He says he can do it another time. All of Bailey’s toys and clothes need to be unpacked. She says she can handle it, and he says, and the changing table? She says she’ll figure it out; she can read instructions. He says he’s not leaving her to put it together herself, but she says she’s not asking for his help. If this living situation is going to work, they have to set some boundaries. He says, like he does the dishes, and she builds the furniture? She says, let’s be honest here. He’s not really Bailey’s father, and they’re not really co-parents. He’s already done a lot putting up with this charade. They’re just here to protect Maxie’s daughter from Peter, nothing more. So go; live his life. He says, this is his life, but she says, end of discussion. Just go work out, or whatever he does to keep so nauseatingly fit. He says, he’ll be back in a few hours, and she says, fine. She probably won’t wait up. He watches her for a moment, then leaves.

At the hospital, TJ tells Portia that he starts his rotation with her tomorrow. What should he expect? She says, he can expect to work like every other newly minted doctor; no special treatment, but he’ll be just fine. Finn and Elizabeth come in, on either side of Marshall, followed by Epiphany. Finn yells for help, and puts Marshall in a wheelchair. Portia tells them to take him to room one, and they wheel Marshall away, Elizabeth running past Epiphany.  

Curtis says he hates to admit it, but Drew makes a good point. Still, even if his father’s reasons for keeping him in the dark were noble, he’s not okay with Marshall only revealing so much about his past, then shutting it down. Drew says he has to warn Curtis that his father may never be willing to open that door, and Curtis says, then maybe he should let Marshall go. Drew’s phone dings, and he says, Ned is hounding him about getting his ELQ shares back from Valentin. He needs to talk Ned off the ledge. Curtis says, good luck with that, and they fist bump. Drew says, regarding Curtis’s father, he doesn’t have to make that decision now. He has a lot of time to figure out a relationship with him for the future. He leaves, and Curtis’s phone rings. It’s Portia, and he says, hey beautiful, and tells her that her ears should be burning; he was talking about her earlier. She says he needs to come to the hospital now. It’s about his father.

Tomorrow, Curtis asks if his father is going to be okay, Finn asks how Elizabeth feels about continuing their date, Alexis thinks that might not be possible, and Sonny says it’s the worst thing he could do.

Vanderpump Rules

In a dual interview, Raquel said the engagement weekend was becoming more elaborate and expensive, and James said he figured the wedding would cost as much as this, times five. The group met at the dock where they boarded a boat. James gave a toast to boat life, and in Raquel’s interview, she said, I’m on a boat bitch. I wasn’t sure what the big deal was, since these people practically live like royalty all the time, and it wasn’t like a mega-yacht. Schwartz and Sandoval talked about retirement, and Schwartz said Katie had told him Lisa expressed disappointment at their speed (or lack thereof) in getting the new bar opened. We flashed back to that, and Sandoval said he thought they were getting microaggressions from Lisa <rolling my eyes> about being so far behind. He told Schwartz that they’d pull it off. In their dual interview, Schwartz said when he retired, he wanted to play in the world series of poker, and wanted a ranch with pigs, goats, lizards, and maybe a mini cow. Sandoval said he wanted to have a cover band and travel the world. He wanted to retire early, and Schwartz said, not too early though.

In Raquel’s interview, she said she thought a lap dance for James would be cute and sexy, but it was harder to do on a moving boat. Tom fluffed on some mineral powder sunscreen, and Ariana said he was using so much, it looked like he’d been dipped in cocaine. James poked a hole in a can of Red Bull and guzzled it. Sandoval thought James handled himself well in apologizing to Brock, and Ariana said James could be charismatic, so even if he was just putting on the charm, they had more patience with him because the group loved each other. If they were fighting, it was because they wanted to resolve a conflict, and be better friends. Sandoval told Brock that he’d do the secret wedding if he could, and Ariana said, they’d be ready to pull the plug if something wasn’t right. In Scheana’s interview, she said she was having second thoughts. She wanted to marry Brock, but not this way. She told Brock that she wanted to put it on hold. She respected her friends, but was also a people pleaser, and had been going along with the plan, even though it wasn’t what she wanted. She did wish she could wear her ring though. In her interview, she said, she respected James and Raquel, but she’d just had something huge happen, and wanted to tell everyone. Sandoval said James and Raquel had family coming in, and Ariana said they weren’t going to do something d*ckish. If there were any weird vibes, the wedding was off.

They group took a bus to an alpaca farm, and Ariana screeched at the alpacas before they even got off the bus. In her interview, she said she would 100% adopt a baby alpaca. She didn’t need Sandoval. Brock announced that the alpaca was the smallest member of the camel family, which I admit, I did not know. He was a font of information, thanks to Google, and in Scheana’s interview, she said he was like a zoologist out of Jumanji. Brock said it was the confident delivery. Ariana wondered if Brock was trying to get a job there, and Lala compared the alpaca mating sounds to the sound Randall made when he wanted to mate. Scheana told Ariana that they weren’t doing the wedding. She didn’t want it to seem like she and Brock were stealing James and Raquel’s thunder.

In the meantime, James and Raquel met Lisa to go horseback riding. James wasn’t too familiar with horses, and Lisa said she couldn’t believe it, since he was so used to acting like a horse’s ass. They came to a clearing where Lisa had a picnic set up. A Vanderpump style picnic, no frills spared. In Lisa’s interview, she said, James was a wild card, but she was rooting for him and his marriage. She hoped he realized how lucky he was to have a woman like Raquel in his life. James said he should have known they weren’t going to be sitting on the ground on a blanket with a basket. Lisa said she was really being selfish, since she’d wanted to have them to herself for a moment, and knew they were spread thin. Other than their parents, no one wanted the best for them more than she did. In her interview, she said, it was a wonderful match, and the best chance James could be given. She didn’t want him to screw it up. James said he knew he looked like a fool, and said foolish things, but he woudn’t be where he was without Raquel. Lisa said he’d come far, but still had far to go. In her interview, Lisa said she’d been the first person to tell James to stop drinking, and we flashed back to her saying it at least once every year he’s been on the show. She told them that she was in their corner.

The alpaca group had champagne, and Brock got up, saying he wanted to make a toast. He and Scheana had something to tell them. Scheana said they’d gotten engaged a few days ago, and in Charli’s interview, she said, WTF is going on? Scheana said her ring was stunning and massive, but she wasn’t wearing it because they didn’t want to make this weekend about them. In Lala’s interview, she said, what was Scheana talking about? In real time, they were watching them make it about them. There were congratulations, and a smattering of applause, but since they wasn’t good enough, Brock said they’d had a side hustle planned. They’d been thinking about sneaking away to get married. The only people who knew were Sandoval and Ariana, who both looked like they wanted the earth to swallow them at that moment. In Sandoval’s interview, he said, WTF? Scheana said it wasn’t sitting right with her, so she stopped it. In Katie’s interview, she said, it was wrong, but she was living for it. They toasted to Brock, Scheana, and the alpacas.

Everyone prepared for the big party, steaming clothing, and glamming up. Raquel gave dad Carey a tour of the party area, and in her interview, she said, even though it cost a lot of pennies, it was worth every one. She said James had wanted her dad’s blessing, and Carey told her, he hadn’t said no, but he hadn’t said yes either. James invited him on a hike, but he realized James wasn’t wearing hiking boots, and got him a pair. He knew it wasn’t about hiking, but something else, and he’d talked to James about being a good husband. In Raquel’s interview, she said, her dad was protective and had a strange sense of humor. She thought his goal was to scare James straight, so he knew his baby girl was going to be taken care of. Carey said he’d welcomed James to the family, and it was the best he could do. James’s mom Jacqueline arrived, and she said dad Andros wouldn’t be coming because of covid restrictions, but he’d be at the wedding. Raquel’s mom Nora came in, along with the famous Grandma Buttons. Buttons checked out Raquel’s ring, and when Raquel asked if it met her expectations, Buttons said, for a starter ring. In James’s interview, he said he wouldn’t have expected two years ago that his and Raquel’s mom would be getting along. It was an engagement party miracle. Raquel’s sister Kate arrived with husband Greg, and in his interview, James said, they were the people he and Raquel loved, his friends, and his family. Grandma Buttons was even there. Why not get married today?

Raquel told James that she was nervous to give a speech, but seeing how happy everyone was to be there, she was overwhelmed with love. We saw a clip of her session with a speech coach, where he told her to take a moment to feel the love and appreciation. Raquel said she had to remind herself that these people wanted to hear what she had to say, and James said he did. Right answer. Nora introduced Lisa to Buttons as the Queen of Beverly Hills, and Lisa acted all humble, but we know she’s really Queen of the World. Raquel came out on the balcony, and thanked everyone for coming. She said she felt blessed, and it was nice to have both families there. James gave her cues from inside, and she talked about meeting him, saying, when she heard his accent, it was game over. Scheana realized James was telling Raquel what to say, and in her interview, she said, we see… Raquel talked about the proposal, and how they were dedicated to each other for the rest of their lives. This time, the applause was enthusiastic, and in Raquel’s interview, she said she was so embarrassed. The perfect speech looked beautiful in her mind, but she didn’t feel she’d ever reach it. James had brought out  a better, stronger version of herself, and she was grateful for that.

Lisa came upon Katie and Ariana being all weepy, and Ariana said they were emotional for a reason other than Raquel’s speech. They’d talked to Randall, and he and his partners wanted to invest $150K in their sandwich shop. We saw a clip of Randall giving them the news, and in Lisa’s interview, she said she was hopeful. The girls had come a long way. They had vision, and now needed execution. Sandoval said he was proud. The only time he’d ever say anything would be… He struggled, and Schwartz said, if they didn’t like the name. Lisa said, if you wanted to get the job done, give it to a woman. Everyone mingled, and Scheana dug her ring out of her bag to show it to Lisa. Lisa said Scheana couldn’t, but Scheana said it didn’t happen there; it had been at home. Katie asked what Lala thought about the alpaca farm bomb drop, and Lala said she was so shook. First, Brock expected them to foot the bill, then he wanted to hijack James and Raquel’s weekend. Lisa told Scheana not to even mention it, while Lala told Katie that while James and Raquel were on a romantic ride, Scheana and Brock made it about them. Scheana told Lisa that she wasn’t wearing her ring, since she didn’t want to make it about her, and Lisa said she couldn’t get married at someone else’s party, but Scheana said, it would have happened yesterday. She said she was going to tell James and Raquel about it tomorrow, but Lisa said they didn’t need to know at all. Let them have their moment. In Lisa’s interview, she said, they needed to sit on it until the weekend was over. Lala asked Katie if she should give James and Raquel a heads up, but Katie said no. Like that’s ever stopped Lala from doing what she wants.

The sun started to go down, blue lights came on, and it looked even more beautiful. Dinner was served, then James said he was going to switch on some tunes, and there would be a party by the dance floor. Sandoval talked with Lisa, and said he’d raised money for the bar, and Lisa said she just wanted him to get started. He said they were waiting on permits before they could break ground, and she said she thought the front was kind of low key; she’d rather see some curb appeal. In Sandoval’s interview, he said, can you back TF off? He told Lisa that he felt stressed when he talked to her about it. She seemed more supportive of the girls, and more critical of him and Schwartz. She said she wanted to feel they were moving forward, and in his interview, Sandoval said, he thought Lisa was hard on them. He wanted to prove that they weren’t idiots, and busted their asses because they took this seriously. He wished he could get her to see they weren’t who they used to be 8 years ago, and recognize who they’d become today. In Lisa’s interview, she said she wanted to see them soar and be successful. She told Sandoval that she thought of them like her children, and talked to them like her children. It was out of love. They hugged it out, and Raquel asked Scheana to be a bridesmaid. Not being able to stand all the happiness, in Lala’s interview, she said, this wasn’t sitting right with her. Scheana and Brock announced their engagement, and said they’d been planning on getting married this weekend. Before James and Scheana, and Katie and Lala, there was James and Lala. She had to have his back. I fail to see how telling someone about something that’s not going to happen, and ruining their day with it, is having their back, but that’s Lala logic for you.

Lala called James over, and told him that Brock and Scheana announced their engagement at the alpaca farm. They’d also been planning on getting married during the weekend. James told Lala, stay there, and called Brock over. He said Lala told him that Brock was thinking of getting married there, and in Brock’s interview, he said, here we f***ing go. Lala is f***ing it up for everybody. Brock told James that Scheana shut him down, but James said, it was so disrespectful. Brock needed to work on knowing his place. James had spent thousands on the weekend. Brock said, summer wasn’t just about them, and Lala said, the weekend was. Brock said Scheana hadn’t worn her ring, and James said, good. They started to get loud, and in Brock’s interview, he said, it was David versus Goliath, and he’s f***ing David, so he wins… no, he’s Goliath… dumb analogy. All I had to say was, wow. James said Brock was yelling at him during his party, and his family was there. Brock was rude and obnoxious, and he was embarrassed for Brock. Raquel finally joined them, and asked what was going on. James badgered Sandoval about saying it was disrespectful, but Sandoval either wasn’t sure about that, or was too drunk to commit. Lala asked if Sandoval was defending Brock, and in Sandoval’s interview, he said, it was typical Lala; shoot first, ask questions later, and put her spin on it. Then Raquel became involved, and said, Scheana and Brock were engaged, and announced it without her and James being there? Scheana started wagging her finger in Lala’s face, and when Lala told her to knock it off, Sandoval said it was a conversation Lala decided to get herself into. In his interview, he said, Lala spent all summer saying she was just looking out for Scheana’s best interests, but he thought she didn’t want to see Scheana happy. Lala told Scheana, it was tacky AF to announce her engagement.

Lala let Randall in on what was going on, and said, James was her boy, and Brock and Scheana used his engagement weekend as their platform. Ariana said, James was her boy too, and Lala was putting her own spin on it. In Ariana’s interview, she said, there was no need to tell James in the middle of the party. Lala wasn’t doing it for her boy. She ruined his party. Scheana said she was planning to tell Raquel after the party, but Raquel said, she and James should have been the ones Brock and Scheana confided in. Charli tried to insert herself into the conversation – I’m starting to think they need a flyswatter for that one – and said, this was not the time or place. It was pretty loud at this point, and some of the guests were either craning their necks or shaking their heads, but no one who had ever seen this show should have been surprised. Brock said James could have handled it better, and Scheana started crying. She wailed that she hadn’t even worn her ring, since she didn’t want to take anything away from Raquel, and told Raquel that she woudn’t have gotten married without her. In Raquel’s interview, she said, that Scheana and Brock would consider getting married during her and James’s engagement trip was disrespectful as it was. But then to tell everyone, and not include them, who does that? Raquel said they were the last to know, and Scheana said, they saved the best for last? (her question mark) but Raquel wasn’t having it. James said he’d spent thousands, and had their families flown out. Grandma Buttons is here.

Jacqueline suggested they leave this bullsh*t for another day, and James said he didn’t want Brock there anymore. Brock agreed, and left, James saying, he’d ruined their day. Scheana saw Brock on his way out, and asked what James said. Brock said, James told him to get TF out of his party, and she asked if she was kicked out too. He told her that he wanted her to stay; put her ring on and stay, since the cat was out of the bag. She was hesitant, but he unearthed her ring from her bag, and put it on her finger. He told her that he loved her, and left. In Brock’s interview, he said he knew that now he’d have to do more for their approval. F*** their approval. James told Raquel that what Scheana and Brock did was cheap and nasty. Lisa asked if James was okay, and Raquel said it wasn’t going as expected. Lisa said they were getting married because they loved each other. James had held it together and was reasonable, and if he did that in their relationship, things would work well. In Lisa’s interview, she said, this was the only time she was supportive of James being pissed off and reactionary. She probably would have done the same. James said they wouldn’t be sitting down and making up by the fire later, and in his interview, he said, in the past, snakes in the grass had ruined his nights. They’d always gotten the best of him, but not tonight. He would not let it ruin his night. He was going to flip the script, and keep it positive. The show must go on.

James went back and took the stage, doing his DJ thing. In Scheana’s interview, she said, she felt like she knew better than anyone what it took to be part of the group. Some of them were meant to be friends forever, and some were not. In Lala’s interview, she said they were dysfunctional AF, and if you got in with them, you got in where you fit in.

No preview, since this was the finale, but the Reunion is sure to be a mess. Hot or not remains to be seen, but it looks like that’s where Raquel gave James his ring back.

🍸 In a Shocking Twist…

You can check out the Reunion trailer here. It looks like it’s going to be a doozie.

https://people.com/tv/lala-kent-tearfully-addresses-randall-emmett-split-on-vanderpump-rules-reunion-i-feel-disgusted/

🛌🏽 Laying Me Down To Sleep…

Look me up tomorrow for some soap and the latest in the OC. Until then, stay safe, stay persevering, and stay not keeping your emotions bottled up. It doesn’t do a body good.