What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Ned comes into the Quartermaine Nook, and notices Drew’s back. Drew says he was just out for a run; what’s up? Ned says he wants to talk to Drew about the plan to merge ELQ with Aurora, and Drew asks how he can help. Ned says, call it off.

Esme tells Cameron that it means so much, him not turning his back on her. She thanks him for being so kind. She’s glad he’s his own man. Josslyn walks in and says, no, he’s her man, and Esme has about ten seconds to get her tentacles off of him. Esme says, her tentacles? Wow. At least claws would have been sharp, but tentacles? Josslyn says, they’re slimy, and Trina says, and they suck. Esme says, they might not believe this, but she has feelings, and Trina says, they know. Josslyn says, jealousy, possessiveness. Now get lost. And the next time Esme thinks of talking to her boyfriend, don’t. She has one of her own. Esme asks if Cam wants her to go, and he doesn’t say anything. She says, see? Cam can make his own decisions. Josslyn is just going to have to get over the fact that Spence and Cam are on her side.

Spencer looks at the stack of shoeboxes in Esme’s closet, and says, this season… last season… this season… three seasons ago. Very unlike you, Esme. He opens the box, and says, what do we have here? He takes out a prescription bottle.

Michael asks what Willow is thinking, and she says, that her mother is dead. But she wasn’t Willow’s mother, and Willow has no idea who is.

At Charlie’s, Nina tells Ava, she didn’t want this fight, but now that she’s in it, she’s going to come out guns blazing. And Carly’s going to hope to God she’s not in the line of fire. They see Carly has walked in, and she approaches the table. She asks how is it that Nina sees herself as a victim in situations she’s caused, and Nina says, Carly, Michael, and Willow backed her into a corner about Wiley. She had no choice but to fight. Carly says, Nina always has choices, and she always picks the wrong ones, and Nina says she did everything she could to avoid a court battle. They forced her hand, and what is this smear campaign they’re doing about her in the press? Carly asks, what about the feature isn’t true? If anything is even a little inaccurate, she’ll tell them to retract it herself. And Ava. Nina forced her into labor, and stole her baby. How is it they’re friends now? Ava says, things change, and Nina says, all she asked, ever, was a little time with her grandson. Not even a lot. If Carly had just taken five seconds to think about it, she’d see they want the same thing. Carly says, what’s that? and Nina says, peace.

Willow asks Michael, how messed up is it that she’s so sad about Harmony? She doesn’t even know if she was stolen, or her birth parents gave her away. All she knows is, Harmony carted her around the country, from commune to ashram to cult, and now she’s sad Harmony is gone? Michael says, she’s the only mother Willow knew. Of course (🍷) she’s going to be sad. She says, now she has to go to the PCPD, and give them a DNA sample, so they can figure out Harmony’s motive for killing Neil Byrne and his brother. It’s too much. She puts her head on his shoulder, and he tells her not to worry about the DNA test; he can run interference. She asks if he’s sure, and he says, if the brother to brother appeal doesn’t work with Dante, there’s always Diane. There’s a knock at the door, and Michael opens it to Alexis. He asks what brings her by, and she says she can certainly understand why this might not be a good time, but she was hoping to speak to Willow about Harmony.

Cameron says he’s not choosing sides, but if he did, he’d have to side with Joss and Trina. Trina says, not choosing a side is the same as backing the bad guy, and Esme says she’s sick and tired of having the same fight with them. Josslyn says, then come clean; confess. Say it was some practical joke that got out of hand, and she didn’t know how to handle it. Esme asks why she’d confess to something she didn’t do, and Josslyn says she hasn’t changed. As for feelings, the only ones Esme has are for herself. Esme says, whatever. Josslyn’s issues with her say way more about Josslyn than they ever will about her. Trina says, 50% deflection, 50% deception, and 100% shady, and Esme tells them to enjoy feeling superior. She puts her hand on Cameron’s shoulder and thanks him for comforting her. She’s glad to see someone around here still has a heart. She leaves, and Josslyn asks, what the hell was that? Cameron messes with his phone, and says, it’s not what it looks like, She says, now he’s texting someone? and he says, if she’ll give him a second, he’ll explain, but she asks, who could he be texting at this moment who’s more important than her and Trina?

Spencer looks at the bottle, and says, no label. No way to trace it. Unless… He takes out a pill and pockets it. He says, all right, Esme. What else are you hiding?

Nina tells Carly that she heard about Harmony. There’s already been so much devastation. Carly tells Nina, she says that like she didn’t cause any of it, and Nina says, she’s made her share of mistakes. Carly says, that’s her favorite word, and Nina says she hurt a lot of people because she was hurting. Carly says, let her guess. This is where Nina blames her again. She goes to the bar, and Nina says, no. She understands Michael and Willow make their own decisions, but they really respect Carly’s opinion. Ava says, it’s getting late, so she’s going to run. Unless they need a referee. Nina says, no, they’ll be fine, and Carly says, goodbye. Ava leaves, and Nina asks Carly to sit with her. Please. Carly says she only has a minute. She’s there to check on Phyllis. She wants to see how Phyllis is doing since the robbery. Nina assumes Carly heard about it from Sonny, but Carly says she has her own sources. However, if Nina is asking if she’s talked to Sonny, the answer is yes.

Michael says he has some things to take care of at the house so he’ll leave them to it. He leaves, and Alexis says she just realized she only planned what she was going to say through the introduction, and they’re past that. Willow says, then she’ll start. It turns out Harmony was capable of terrible things, but that’s not all she was. For the time she and Alexis had a friendship, Willow chooses to believe it was real. She’s glad Harmony had Alexis. Alexis says she was grateful to have Harmony as a friend. She came along when Alexis really needed one. The tragedy is, Harmony knew how to fake being a good person very well. Willow says she doesn’t believe it was all fake, but Alexis says she guesses they’ll never know. Seems neither of them really knew her, did they?

Spencer’s phone dings, and he reads: Esme’s on her way back. He says, Esme or not, he can’t give up now. He puts the box on the bed, checks outside the door, and takes out one of the letters.

Josslyn asks, what’s wrong with Cameron? and he asks what she means. Trina says, he’s been acting weird, and Josslyn says, what Trina said. Esme made a sex tape of them, and showed it to the world. Trina says, and she may be going to prison for it, and Josslyn says, and Cameron wants to give Spencer his job back? Cameron says, that was a business decision, and Josslyn asks if hugging Esme was a business decision. He says he didn’t hug her; she hugged him. Josslyn says, that’s the second time she’s seen Esme with her arms wrapped around him. Learn how to dodge. He asks what she wants him to do; leap out of the away, or slide across the counter? Josslyn asks why he’s making excuses to comfort Esme, and Trina says, they need to chill. Arguing like this is what Esme wants. Josslyn says, Esme probably saw them heading over here, and ran like hell to beat them, so they could witness her hugging Cam. Trina asks Cameron to help them understand. She gets why he gave Spencer his job back… Josslyn says she doesn’t, and Trina says, but why is he supporting someone who ruined all of their lives, his included? He says he’s just trying to do the right thing, and Josslyn says, the right thing would be to stay as far away from Esme and Spencer as possible. Trina says, she has to go; homework. Josslyn hugs her, and Trina says, remember, play nice. Listen to each other. Don’t let Esme win. Trina leaves, and Josslyn asks if Cameron saw that. Why would he hurt Trina that way?

Outside, Trina makes a call. She needs their help. It’s important.

Ned says, sorry to keep Drew waiting, and Drew says, he’s on his way to meet Sam. They’re going to discuss Scout’s summer schedule. Ned asks if he has to rush out, and Drew says he does, but he wanted to put Ned’s mind at ease first. Ned says he thinks Drew knows what his concerns are, and Drew says, he believes he does, and like he said, his ELQ shares are going to revert back to him soon, and Valentin will no longer have the majority, but he’s still going to own a lot of shares. So their position is, to protect them from future takeovers, the best possible situation is for Aurora and ELQ to merge. That way, Valentin’s shares will be even more diluted. Ned asks what the leadership structure be in this new company, but Drew thinks they should wait for Michael to talk about this. Michael miraculously appears, and says, here he is. Talk about what? Ned says, they think merging ELQ and Aurora is the best strategy to keep ELQ in the family. Correct him if he’s wrong, but if that merger goes through, he’s out in the cold.

Nina says, she and Carly will always be in each other’s lives, but Sonny isn’t who they need to talk about right now. Carly says, she’s got that right, and Nina asks, how’s Willow? Carly says, she’s grieving, and heartbroken, and Nina says, please send her condolences, but Carly says, don’t do that. Don’t pretend to be concerned about Willow, when she just got done ranting that Willow is the reason Nina has to fight with their family. Nina says, she’s concerned about Wiley. Willow is Wiley’s mother, so therefore, she’s concerned about Willow. Carly says, fortunately, Wiley is too young to understand what’s going on, and Nina asks, did they tell him that his grandmother died; that Grandma Harmony is gone? Carly says, if they tell him, it will be up to Willow and Michael, and Nina says, she understands that, but she doesn’t want that little boy to feel he was abandoned by his grandmother. She doesn’t think it’s fair to keep it from him. Carly asks if she’s kidding. Wiley is too young to process that kind of information. Kind of like when Nina told him Willow wasn’t his real mommy. How you hand someone that information can do more harm than good. Nina says, lies can do harm too, and Carly says, Nina’s sure did. Nina says, whether Wiley knows about his grandmother dying or not, he lost her. She is no longer in his life. Is it really fair for that little boy to lose another grandmother too? Carly says, Nina’s not doing this for Wiley; she’s doing it for herself. Because she can’t see past her own selfishness to do what’s best for him.

Spencer reads a letter from Maggie, and Esme peeks around the door.

Josslyn tells Cameron, Trina is going to be tried for a felony. One Esme set her up for, blowing up their lives in the process. It’s them versus her. He says, the last thing he wants to do is hurt Josslyn or Trina, and she says, then what is he doing comforting the enemy? He says, he told her, it’s not like that, and she says she doesn’t care who hugged who, but he can’t be a literal shoulder for Esme to cry on, knowing who she is and what she’s done. He says, Esme came in looking for Spencer. He’s not here, and when he told her, she got all upset. What was he supposed to do? Josslyn says, walk away. Let her wallow in the misery she’s created. He says, he knows what Esme’s done, but he’s sorry. He can’t be that heartless. He’s not wired that way. She says, unlike her.

At the gallery, Ava asks Trina to tell her what’s going on. She said it was important. Trina says she just saw Esme at Kelly’s, crying crocodile tears on Cameron’s shoulder, and he was actually comforting her. Ava says, after everything that little demon has done, how dare he? and Trina tells her, he did say Esme just threw herself in his arms, and he froze. Ava says, it’s still a major violation of their friendship. She hopes Trina let him have it. Trina says, that’s what Esme would want, right? To drive a wedge between the three of them? Ava says, she’s smart; that’s a good point. Trina says, it just hurt so much to see Cameron and Esme like that. She’d never tell him not to be nice to someone. Ava says, why not? It’s Esme they’re talking about. Why should anyone be nice to her? Trina says, it’s like every time she sees Esme, Esme is rubbing it in her face that she’s ruining Trina’s life and getting away with it. Ava asks how often Trina sees Esme, and Trina says, she just came here the other night to see Spencer. Ava says, so Spencer is having little rendezvous in her gallery when he’s supposed to be making restitution? but Trina says, Spencer was surprised to see Esme, but don’t worry, she kicked Esme out. Ava says, good for her, and as for Cameron, she has every right to feel betrayed. Trina thanks Ava for having her back through all of this. She appreciates it. Ava says, of course (🍷), and Trina says, that’s why she needed to meet. That’s why she needs Ava’s help.

Michael tells Ned, they’re keeping their options open about leadership. It’s still in the early stages. Ned asks, realistically, how much will the merger actually dilute Valentin’s shares? Aurora and ELQ are hardly on the same scale. Drew says, they’re in the process of bulking up Aurora, so it will be a merger of equals as much as possible, and Ned says, it seems the two of them have given this a lot of thought for something that’s in the early stages. Drew says, since he and Michael both run Aurora, they’ve had more of an opportunity to discuss it, that’s all, and Ned asks if he shouldn’t read anything into the fact that he wasn’t part of any of these discussions.

Willow tells Alexis, Michael started to suspect something was up when there was no record of her birth certificate. When Harmony miraculously obtained a copy, she didn’t ask questions. Alexis says, when Willow lost her copy, Harmony came to her for help, and Willow says, wait. Does Alexis mean she’s known Harmony wasn’t her mother? Alexis says she has, and Willow asks, for how long? It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. Alexis says, except it does. Willow must be so angry. She should have said something. Willow says, of course (🍷) she’s angry, but as for Alexis telling her, it wasn’t her place. It was Harmony’s responsibility. Alexis says she tried to get Harmony to tell Willow several times, but Harmony was too afraid she’d lose Willow. Harmony told her that a woman at the commune in Colorado called Joan gave birth to Willow and disappeared. The leader gave Willow to Harmony and her father to raise. They were so worried Joan would come back, they left the commune. Willow asks if Alexis thinks any of the story is true.

Nina says she loves Wiley and deserves to be in his life, and Carly says, loving someone doesn’t entitle you to anything. Nina says, Wiley is her family, and despite Carly’s best efforts to discredit her, the judge is going to see the truth. Phyllis comes in and says, Carly… Nina… What a lovely surprise to see you both… together. Carly says, she and Nina are done. She came to see Phyllis. Phyllis suggests Carly join her at the bar while she tends to some business, and asks if Nina is sticking around. Nina says, she needs a minute, and goes in the back. Carly says, she didn’t come here to get into it with Nina, and Phyllis says she believes Carly. What does bring her by? Carly says, it’s been a couple weeks since the attempted robbery. She wanted to check and see how Phyllis was doing. Phyllis says she’s doing well. It’s kind of Carly to take an interest. Just so Carly knows, she’s always welcome here. Carly thanks her, and says she doesn’t expect Phyllis to choose between her and Nina; she knows Phyllis is always going to protect Nina. Phyllis says, the instinct never goes away. Nina was pregnant and in a coma. When someone is that helpless, it’s hard not to care. Carly says, and Phyllis got roped into Madeline’s lies. Lies that sent Nina on a path of destruction.

Trina tells Ava, proving her innocence in court isn’t going to cut it. She needs to prove Esme did this, and make her pay for it. Ava says, she’s in. What can she do? Trina says, Esme is obviously a master schemer. She blows up Ava’s car, and now she’s living with Ava. Ava says, don’t remind her, and Trina says, when it comes to scheming, clearly she’s out of her depth, but Ava isn’t. In fact, Ava is the only person she knows who could out-scheme Esme. No offense. Ava says, none taken. In fact, she’s flattered at Trina’s faith in her. Trina says, so tell her, what should she do?

Esme says, what hell is Spencer doing going through her personal things? She snatches the letter from him, and puts it back in the box. He says, he was looking for his sunglasses, and she says, in a shoebox? He says, while he was searching, he saw that box, and he thought it was strange that she kept shoes that were so out of season. She says, he thinks he knows her so well, and he says, doesn’t he? She asks if he was going to borrow dated heels, and he says he saw the letters from her nanny Maggie. Esme told him that she’d lost contact with her, so why does she have an entire box full of her letters?

Cameron says, Josslyn isn’t heartless. She has one of the biggest hearts of anyone he knows. It’s just that she can really hold a grudge. She says, only when people deserve it, like Esme. He says he’s angry with Esme too, and she says, really? Because he seems to be in a forgiving place with her. He says he hasn’t forgiven Esme for anything. It’s just that Josslyn’s anger is fierce, but it’s also proactive. She can’t look at Esme without wanting to start a fight. She says, her friends and family are the most important things in the world to her, so when someone hurts them, she can’t just forgive them. Is that so wrong? He says, no. He thinks it’s great. Her ride or die loyalty is one of the things he loves most about her. He’d like to think he’s just that loyal. He just doesn’t express it the same way.

Drew gives Ned his word, his and Michael’s proximity is the only reason they’ve had these discussions at all. Michael says, when it comes time to discuss leadership, Ned will be informed. Ned says, informed? Up until a few days ago, he was under the assumption that when they got ELQ back from Valentin, he’d be CEO. So if he’s to have a commensurate position in this new company, he’d like to be part of all the discussions. Michael agrees, and says, they’ll make sure Ned is, but it’s not that simple.

Alexis tells Willow, over time, Harmony’s story didn’t hold up. Then Brendon showed up, and she knows the rest. Willow says, there’s still so much they’re not sure about, and Alexis says, when Harmony first confided in her, she encouraged Harmony to tell Willow the truth. Willow asks why she didn’t, and Alexis says, she was worried Willow would never forgive her. That she was willing to kill to keep it a secret, let it suffice to say, their relationship meant a lot to her. Willow says, she’s been leaving room in her mind for the possibility none of this is true; that Harmony had some kind of break with reality. But now hearing Alexis talk about the trouble Harmony went through to hide the truth, it’s really sinking in. Harmony was lying to her for her whole life. She feels like she lost her mother twice, not to mention her father. Oh my God. My father. She wonders if he knew what Harmony did.  

Phyllis tells Carly, Madeline kept a lot of secrets. She wishes she’d been more discerning. Carly says she’s sure it gave Nina some comfort, knowing Phyllis was there when she brought her baby into the world, but Phyllis says she wasn’t there at the birth. By the time she got to work, the baby had been born. That’s when Madeline gave the baby to her to deliver the baby to her adoptive parents. Carly says, so Phyllis wasn’t there when Nelle was born. Does she know who was? Phyllis says she doesn’t. Why does Carly ask? Carly says, Nina is petitioning to visit Wiley, so Nelle has been on her mind lately. Phyllis says she didn’t know it at the time, but there was a huge inheritance at stake. That’s why Madeline gave Nina’s baby away and made sure it couldn’t be traced. Carly says, Phyllis is the only person who knew what was going on because Madeline roped her into it, and Phyllis says, the only silver lining is that Nina eventually found out the truth, even if it was too late. Carly says, and Nina blames her for it every chance she gets. Phyllis says she knows better than to think she can sway Carly, but just so Carly knows, she’s rooting for Nina to be able to know her grandson. Carly says she figured, and Nina comes back. Phyllis asks if she’s all right, and Nina says, she’s fine, but she’s going to go home. It’s going to be a rough few days, and she needs to get her head on straight.

Drew says, he’s not sure if they can offer Ned a position commensurate with CEO, and Ned says, he sees. Michael says, when this merger happens – Drew says, if it happens – 50% of the assets will be media based, and that’s not something ELQ has had much of a stake in. Drew says, they have plenty of time to work out the details. He’s sorry, but he has to get going. Ned says, of course (🍷). They’ll talk later. Drew tells Ned, trust him, he’s going to be happy. He leaves, and Michael says, he can tell Ned is uneasy with this, and Ned asks, what was his first clue? Can he be honest? Michael says, of course (🍷), and Ned says he’s sacrificed a lot for this company. He and Michael worked hard to regain control of ELQ from Valentin, and now they’re about to get ELQ back, and he feels like he’s being put out to pasture. Tell him the truth; is he?

Josslyn says she loves everything about Cameron. She’s lucky to have him as a boyfriend, and lucky he’s such a nice person, but Esme uses nice people, like with that hug. He says he just doesn’t think Esme ran all the way there so Josslyn could catch her, and Josslyn says, maybe not, but the way Esme touched Cameron’s shoulder as she was leaving, was her way of telling Josslyn that her boyfriend doesn’t mind if Esme touches him, and there’s nothing she can do about it. He says, that’s not how he sees it, and she says, how about Trina’s face before she left? Is being nice to Esme worth that? He says, he just thinks given some time, Trina will understand where he’s coming from.

Ava says, Trina’s mother would have her head if she knew Ava was advising her, and Trina says, if it were anyone else, maybe. But since it’s Esme, she thinks her mother would see it her way. Ava says, she hopes so. She does have one idea, but she doesn’t think Trina will like it. Trina says, try her, and Ava says, Esme is a jealous possessive psychopath, but the one good thing about Spencer is that he knows what a good person Trina is. He basically threw Esme over. He went after Trina. Take advantage of that jealousy and goad her into making a mistake, and trap her. Trina says, so Ava thinks she should make a play for Spencer, and Ava says, nothing overt, just when Esme can see; a little sigh there, and a little tear here, and oh no, nothing’s wrong. Before Trina knows it, Spencer’s arms will be around her, and Esme’s will be around Spencer’s throat. Trina says, Spencer is back with Esme. He’s not going to respond to her flirting with him, but Ava says, Spencer loves Trina’s attention. He’ll fall for it, and it will push Esme just far enough over the edge that she’ll lash out and incriminate herself. Trina says, it’s tempting, and Ava says, but? Trina says she doesn’t think she can take it that far. Ava says, Trina is in serious trouble here. Doesn’t she want to do what she can to avoid a trial? Trina says, there is something that can help; something she’s been keeping to herself. But before she tells Ava what it is, it’s a last resort. Ava says, understood. What is it?

Esme says she kept all of Maggie’s old letters. Congratulations. He found out her deep dark secret; she’s sentimental, but please don’t tell anybody. He says, no one would believe him, and she says, his turn. Why was he in her room violating her privacy when he’s supposed to be on a grocery run? He says, he blows off work all the time. She, on the other hand, told him she’d lost touch with Maggie before he met her. The letters indicate otherwise. She says she kept in touch with Maggie over the years, but why is she being interrogated when he’s going through her stuff? She thought they were rebuilding their relationship. He says, they are, but she says, he still doesn’t trust her. He says he feels like it’s the other way around. Lately, he’s been feeling like she doesn’t trust him. She says, of course (🍷) she does, even though he’s giving her plenty of reasons not to. He says, such as? and she says, going through her things. When he opened the shoebox, what exactly did he think he’d find? He says, he doesn’t know what he was looking for. He just feels he doesn’t know her as well as he thought. He thought he could find out what he didn’t know. She says, why not just ask her? They used to talk about everything. If they want to get back what they had, they need to be completely honest, transparent. He agrees, and suggests they start with this. He picks up the letter, and asks why Maggie wrote, no good can come from you having contact with your father.

Trina tells Ava, if she uses what she knows, there will be collateral damage. She doesn’t want anyone getting hurt except Esme. Ava says, so this secret weapon could set Trina free? but Trina says, it’s not a slam dunk, but it might be her best shot, and she’ll use it if she has to. She’d just rather not. Ava says, so she doesn’t want to flirt with Spencer, and doesn’t want to use this ace in the hole because someone might get hurt. Trina says she may be an even worse schemer than she thought. Ava says, she’s pretty terrible at it, but she’s proud of Trina. Trina asks why; it’s embarrassing. Ava says, Trina is a good person. She doesn’t go to Esme’s level, or hers. Trina protests, and Ava says she’s not ashamed of her level. She’s proud to be Trina’s go-to schemer. If Trina finds herself trapped into doing something she doesn’t want to, come to her, and they’ll figure out another way to get Esme. Trina thanks Ava, and says she’s so glad to have Ava in her corner.

Cameron says, they’re different people, and Josslyn says she thinks their differences have always made them stronger, as friends and as a couple. Cameron says, he loves everything that makes Josslyn her, and she says she feels the same way. Obviously, she doesn’t love the way he’s being nice to Esme; she doesn’t deserve it. He says, it’s less about being nice, and more about him not wanting to escalate things. She says, they’ll just agree to disagree, and he says, it’s not the first time, and won’t be the last. She says, this is about them resolving conflict, right? and he says, what else would it be? He has to get back to work, but they’re cool, right? She says, they’re fine, and they hug.

Michael says he understands Ned’s concern, and no one is trying to drive him out. Ned says, he senses a but, and Michael says, this merger is their best option to make sure their family maintains control of ELQ again. Ned says, objectively, and Michael says, nothing has been decided. They’re leaving the door open to all possibilities, and Ned will have an active part in the discussions on how to move forward. Try not to worry too much. Ned says, sure. Anything for the family.

Alexis tells Willow, she’s so sorry. Harmony never mentioned Willow’s father. She guesses they’ll never know. It’s late, and she should go. Willow thanks her for coming by and trying to make things better, and Alexis says, for whatever good it did. Does Willow have any idea what’s next for her? Willow says she needs answers. She needs to know where she came from, and who her biological parents are. The first step is getting that DNA test from the PCPD. Because bringing the truth to light is the only way to heal.

Nina thanks Phyllis, who says, of course (🍷). She’ll always have Nina’s back. Carly flashes back to Michael asking if the DNA test can wait, and Phyllis tells Nina to come tomorrow. Carly looks at Nina’s empty glass on the table, and Nina leaves. Phyllis goes in the back, and Carly looks around, takes a napkin, picks up the glass, and puts it in her bag. She turns, and Drew is right there.

Tomorrow, Laura thinks Nikolas is defending Esme; Spencer has something special for Esme; Martin says, Elizabeth believes she’s being haunted; Nina is prepared to go all the way; and Drew says he can’t be that guy for Carly.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion Part 2

When we last left, Joe walked off, saying, he quits. Now let’s try to make sense of a bunch of loud women all talking at once. I hate reunions.

Melissa says, Teresa is quick to put Joe #2 down, but Teresa insists she’s not doing that. In the back, Joe says, Teresa is not a sister, and Luis asks, what’s wrong? Joe asks if Luis heard that; he quits. Teresa says she’s not trying to Joe down, but Andy has to explain that what she said was demeaning, since she lives in her own upside-down personal world, where things are not what they are in this one. Teresa says, Joe is her baby brother, and she’s always kissed his ass. Andy suggests she kiss it some more, and get him back on stage. In the back, Joe #2 tells Joe #3 that his sister is accusing him of getting involved with the women; he doesn’t want to get involved with anybody. He quits. Jennifer says, Joe #2 has to deal with the wrath like her husband did. Huh? Teresa reluctantly trudges backstage, and again says, she’s not putting Joe down. Joe says, if Luis goes out there, he’s a bitch, but Teresa says, it’s not the same. Luis has to defend himself. Joe asks if that’s not for her, and she says it is. He says, then Luis is a bitch. On stage, Melissa says, Luis is fighting with Marge, so what’s the deal? Marge says she doesn’t get it either. Teresa tells Joe, because Marge was talking about Luis, it’s going to be addressed. Joe tells Luis if he gets involved, he won’t be a man, and Teresa says, Luis is the only one dealing with Housewives drama, possibly contradicting several other things she’s said. Jackie says she can only seem to talk to Jennifer when Teresa isn’t around, and she wants to be able to move forward. Andy says he hears screaming, so he’s going to check. Melissa says she’s sick of the arguing.

Teresa tells Joe #2 that she wishes he’d get involved, and tell Marge to STFU. And he should slap Joe #3 upside the head. Andy comes back, and Joe says he doesn’t want to be called names. Andy says, they’ve been living their lives on TV, and he’s trying get ratings resolution. Jackie tells Jennifer that when Teresa wants her to do bad stuff, just don’t. Marge says she’s disappointed that friendship with Teresa is a dictatorship. If something is in a public forum, address it, and it goes away. Still in the back, Andy says, Teresa complained that Joe #2 was in the women’s business, and again she suggests Joe tell Marge, STFU. Joe says, he told Luis to talk about the allegations. If he’s not embarrassed, talk about it, and it will shut everyone up. Teresa says, Luis doesn’t owe anyone anything, but Andy says, it’s out there. He’d be asking the questions whether Marge had brought it up or not. Teresa says she’s fine with that, but Marge is supposed to be her friend. Melissa joins them, and tells Joe not to let Teresa piss him off. Be a family. Enough. It’s ridiculous. She speaks for us all. Teresa says she never put Joe down, but Joe says, she just did, twice. Andy says, Joe is telling her how he feels, so she should listen. Joe says he wants to have a relationship with his sister and loves her, but she’s said some nasty things. Teresa says, sorry, and Andy asks Joe to come back later. Joe says he doesn’t want to argue, and Andy tells him to have a drink and take a break. Teresa still won’t shut up, and Luis tells her to stop. She says she did apologize. Because sorry is enough.    

Andy comes back, and Dolores says, he’s been dealing a long time with this family. She has new boyfriend Paulie on the phone – Paulie from Dublin, Ireland. Is this a nickname they gave him for the show? I can’t imagine there are many Paulies in Ireland. Andy tells Paulie that Dolores is a precious commodity. BTW, we don’t get to see him. That’s for next season.

Andy welcomes us back like we went somewhere, and says, everyone rooted for Dolores to find her happily ever after. She’s been searching for the perfect house and the perfect man, and this season left us wondering if her life will always be under construction. We flash back to Dolores’s season highlights, including her break-up with David, and her mom’s bypass. Andy asks how her mom is, and Dolores says, she’s a lot better. She had no life outside of her kids, and taking care of herself is hard for her. He asks if Frank is still living with the kids, but Frank is now living with David. In the house Dolores built with David. Dolores says, Frank is in between living situations, and she’s living in her house. Her townhouse was sold, and she has a boyfriend now. Andy asks how long they’ve been dating, and she says they started going out at the end of the summer. We find out everyone has met him, and Teresa seems to get really annoyed because Marge knows him better than she does. Andy asks how Paulie feels about Dolores’s unusual relationship with her ex, and she says he’s friendly with his own ex. She’s met her, and she’s lovely. Andy suggests she be set up with Frank, and Dolores thinks that would be amazing. He says, rumor has it, David is dating an ex of Luis’s, and Teresa says, Luis was dating her before they met, but she’s not one of the crazy exes. Dolores says, the day Luis met Teresa, he never called her again. A viewer asks what Dolores learned about her relationships with Frank and David, and she says, there’s life after Frank, and she spent too long with David. She explains that once she cares about someone, it takes a lot for her to walk away, but when she does walk away, she’s done. A woman after my own heart. He asks where Paulie’s relationship with the camera is, and Dolores says, nobody wants to walk in and get destroyed. Teresa says, no one gets destroyed unless people destroy them, like Dolores was referring to spontaneous combustion. Andy asks if there are going to be wedding bells, and Dolores says, everything is there that she likes and wants, but you never know. Andy seems to take this as Dolores will have a rock on her hand by the next Reunion, but I took it just the opposite. Like she might want to see what else is out there.

We went down Memory Lane with everybody’s kids. Jackie talks about her kids going to camp, and Andy says, Jennifer criticized Marge for sending her kids to camp. Jennifer tries to save herself by saying, they all have their own version of motherhood, and Marge says, it’s good for socialization. Jennifer says she doesn’t even let her kids go on sleepovers, and I kind of feel sorry for them. We find out Dolores’s daughter Gabby is dating a guy, but not seriously because of her work, and Frank Jr. is single. Melissa still hasn’t had the sex talk with her kids, but Antonia’s eyerolling is getting a little better; she’s coming out of it. He asks about Marge’s strained relationship with her kids, and she says, between her and Joe #3, they have six kids, and only one relationship is strained. There’s a short argument about Marge saying kids are resilient, which she realizes came off as insensitive. Andy shows a photo from Gia’s 21^st birthday on a party yacht, and we find out Gia is still dating the same guy. Andy mentions that Gia had been skeptical about Luis, but Teresa says, it’s all good now, and Gia only felt that way because of the stuff Marge put out there. Andy says, it was already out there; he knew about it. Jennifer – who continues to Jensplain everything – says, his exes were bitter. Teresa says, it’s because he’s dating her, and gets up. She spins around, saying, mirror, mirror, on the wall, she’s the fairest of them all. Marge says, wow, which is about all you can say, and Teresa says, if he’d been dating Marge, this wouldn’t have happened. Marge says Teresa is so pompous, but no one has a dictionary so Teresa probably thinks it’s a compliment. Andy says, this is more exhausting than normal.

We flash back to Jackie’s private struggle with food, and Andy asks where she is in recovery. She says she’s pretty far along, and eating normally, so she’s out of the danger zone with her health. She’s trying to come to terms with living in a different body, and got rid of her measuring spoons. She’s still working on calorie counting. Andy says, Evan was great with his love and support, and Jackie says, she’s told him not to offer too much help. They’re going on vacation, and she didn’t even think about not eating meals to make up for it. Andy asks if anyone noticed Jackie’s food issues, and Melissa says she would notice Jackie ate less, or she say she ate before she got there. Jackie says, she gave herself two meals a week to eat in front of people, and Andy asks why it was scary for her to bring in Evan. She says, it was embarrassing. No one wants to admit they use spoons to measure their food. She tears up, and I’m guessing it was more than just a spoon issue. She says she wants to get rid of the shame, but she’s terrified of gaining weight. When she was overweight, it was a hard time in her life, and she decided she’d do anything to stay thin. But it became harder as she got older (tell me about it), and she had to starve herself. Marge says, Jackie is brave and strong. She’s done so much work on it, not just physically, but with her emotions around food. A viewer asks if it was frustrating for Jackie when Teresa fat-shamed Marge, and Teresa says she’s sorry about her comment that Marge never misses a meal. However, her leggings are structured to make your ass look good. Nothing like a little marketing with the shade. She says, Marge ruined her night, but Marge says, Teresa ruined her own night. They say, no, you, about 400 times, while Andy tells them to knock it off. Teresa then changes the topic to Marge being a digger. Marge says she doesn’t have to dig; it’s on the internet. Teresa doubles back, and insists she wasn’t fat-shaming Marge, and tells Marge to STFU. Please. For the love of all that’s holy. Get this woman a thesaurus. Although she’d probably think it was some kind of dinosaur.

A viewer wonders if Jennifer getting plastic surgery is sending the wrong message about body positivity, but Jennifer doesn’t think what she’s had done is excessive. I actually don’t either. Andy says, Marge’s allegations took things to the breaking point with her and Jennifer, and asks if Bill was more mad at Jennifer for not denying the affair, or that he had to deal with it. She says, he wasn’t mad, which I totally believe, since Bill shows very little emotion. She did all the talking, as usual, and he was highly embarrassed. He knows no words can justify what he did. A viewer points out that both Jennifer and her mom deflect from what Bill did, and instead focus on Marge bringing it up. Which is true. It’s that old-school boys-will-be-boys mentality that went out with Flip Wilson doing drag. Jennifer says she forgave them both. It’s a process, and you don’t jump to it. No one would have known if Marge hadn’t said anything. Marge says, people knew. When it’s in an office, people know. Andy says, the lesson that’s played out for the 16 years Real Housewives has been on the air is, if you have something to hide, don’t go on a reality show. Jennifer says, they did discuss it beforehand, but she wasn’t going to forego something she wanted for a mistake Bill made. Bill said, if it came up, they could deny it, and she agreed to appease him. Part of her thinks it made her stronger, and they’re in a better place, but she hadn’t wanted it on TV because of her kids. Andy asks how the kids are dealing with it, and Jennifer says, there was initial shock, but children learn by example. If mommy is okay, then they’re all okay. Andy says, Melissa has been vocal in saying, infidelity is more complicated than just leaving. How would she handle it? Melissa says, possibly the same way. If Joe #2 made a mistake, she can’t say she wouldn’t forgive him. Andy asks, who would find infidelity a deal breaker? and Teresa and Jackie raise their hands. Although it’s possible Teresa doesn’t know what the word infidelity means. Teresa says, to each their own, since she read it on a wine glass. She commends Jennifer, but it’s between Jennifer and her husband. Jackie says she’d always think about it, and wouldn’t be able to trust him. A viewer says, Jennifer has been calling Melissa fake on social media, and Melissa says, it started with Dolores, but she’s the fake one this year. Jennifer started this sh*t by calling her and Joe #2 crooked. Jennifer pulls out – from where I don’t know – several social media posts, blown up and put on poster board. Andy says, it’s like a TED Talk, and Jennifer explains each one, as she shows it to the women they way you’d show a picture book to a group of children. She says, crooked never would have been said if Melissa hadn’t started it. It was the day after she’d gotten her nose done, and she was attacked. Andy says, it wasn’t about her face, and Melissa says, Jennifer wants them to feel sorry for her getting elective surgery. She tells Jennifer that she’d been watching the Reunion, and saw Jennifer rolling her eyes, and how she kept coming between her and Teresa. We flash back to that, and Melissa says, Jennifer called her relationship with Teresa fake. Teresa didn’t care, and she got annoyed.

Andy asks Marge how Jennifer is a hypocrite, and Marge says, Jennifer blames women for men’s behavior. (Back to that old-school thinking again.) Melissa says, when you live in a glass house, why hammer Marge with it? and Jennifer says, Marge was bragging about how Joe #3 had to wash her stench off himself so his wife wouldn’t smell her. Marge says, she was cracking a joke, and we flash back to that. Not only is it taken out of context, Marge said it a whole different way. A viewer says Marge needs to own her behavior about insulting Jennifer, and we flash back to the Marge’s lipliner comment a million years ago, and Marge suggesting Jennifer’s sister-in-law was a mail order bride. Jennifer says, the mail order comment was insensitive, and Marge says, not compared to slut, pig, and whore, which Jennifer has called her. Another viewer asks why Jennifer blamed the woman when Bill had an affair. Jennifer says she didn’t, and Marge says, she got the woman fired. Bill can go one to an illustrious career, but she can’t. Jennifer says, she’d do it again, and Melissa says, she gets hating the other girl. Marge says, she and Jennifer could have bonded, but Jennifer says, Marge wasn’t her friend. Marge says, she couldn’t be. They genuinely made up, and then Jennifer trash talked her on the aftershow. We see a clip of Jennifer talking smack about Marge to Teresa, of all people, saying Marge was very vocal about cheating, and using the word stench again. Teresa tells Marge to STFU, and then it gets to that point that I hate the most, with them all yelling, so you can’t understand anybody. Andy gets up, and says, they’re all talking – so shut up!

Next time, this horror show reaches its dramatic conclusion. The men join the fray, and Luis is grilled by Andy.

🖥 Netflix and Lukewarm…

Tomorrow, as always, there will be soap, but the new season of RHOBH begins as well. Until then, stay safe, stay exploring new ideas, and stay remembering, bringing the truth to light is the only way to heal.