June 2, 2023 – Mason Comes Calling, The Bureau, Hot Doc, Her Reality, Seeking Peace, VanderCompost, Chef Farewell, Dead Spin, Model Pup (!), Seven Solid Quotes & Born

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jordan is about to knock on Curtis’s door, when she flashes back to their kiss. As she starts to knock, Curtis opens the door, surprised to see her, and she says he’s probably wondering how she knew he was here. He says, so she came to see him? and she says, yes. His wife told her where to find him.

The bank officer tells Spencer that everything seems to be in order, and brings him the safety deposit box. Per instructions of the late Victor Cassadine, the contents of the box now belong to him. He’s sorry for Spencer’s loss. Instead of laughing, Spencer thanks him, and he leaves. Spencer tells Trina, it’s not too late. They can leave the box and walk out of here. He knows his Uncle Victor, and no good will come from opening this box. She asks if he really doesn’t want to know what this box might be protecting his family from.

Ava finds Austin at the hospital, and wonders if she can ask him a question. He says, sure, and she says, it’s about her post-op recovery. She suggests they find somewhere private, and he says, you bet. His voice gets louder, and he says, if they’re going to discuss her post-op recovery, they should probably do it in his office. They walk down the hall, and she says, they’ve got a problem.

Michael walks into Sonny’s old kitchen, and Carly says, perfect timing. She just made brownies. What brings him by? Not wanting to admit he’s there to visit the moss bowl🎍, he flashes back to Josslyn telling him to give Carly the evidence to save herself. Carly says, it’s not bad news, is it?

Josslyn goes to Dex’s apartment, and says, they’re in private, so no one can listen to them. Can he please just email her the video of Sonny taking the shipment from Pikeman? He says he doesn’t have it.

Sonny sees Dante at the pool, and asks if he’s seen Nina, but Dante says he’s been too busy looking at that pretty girl over there, indicating Sam. Sonny says, it looks like they’re in a good place, and Dante says he can’t complain. Sonny seems lighter. Sonny says, maybe it has something to do with him and Nina being engaged, and Dante hugs him, saying, congratulations. That’s awesome news. Things are looking up in Sonny’s world. Sonny says, not everything, as Ned walks in. Sonny goes over to Ned, and Sam asks Dante, what’s going on with Sonny? Dante says he doesn’t know, and asks if Sam knew Sonny and Nina got engaged. She says she just overheard him telling Dante, but she guesses she shouldn’t be surprised. This means he and Carly have truly moved on.

Carly asks if Willow is okay, but he says he spoke to her this morning, and so far, so good. She asked about Carly. She’s worried; they both are. Carly says she doesn’t want Willow worrying about her. She has to focus on herself. Would he please tell Willow that she’s fine? He says, they both know she’s not fine, and from what she told him, she doesn’t have many options. She says she’ll take her chances in court, or go for a deal, okay? and he says, which means offering up Drew or dad to the Feds. She says she knows it’s not much of a choice… and he says, so she’s going to take her chance in court? She says she doesn’t know, but it’s her decision to make. That’s why she doesn’t want him and Josslyn fighting over this. This is her problem. He says, what affects her, affects them, and she says she knows that. Whatever decision she makes will be what’s best for this family. He asks what decision that will be.

Josslyn says, Dex doesn’t have the footage? and he says he gave the only copy to Michael. She asks, why? and he says, because it’s his property. Michael paid him, he gave Michael the footage; end of story. She says, it’s not end of story, because that video’s the one shot her mom has at not going to prison. He says, then she needs to get it from Michael, and she says she can’t believe he risked his life to get this video, and he doesn’t keep a copy for insurance. He says, that’s not how he works. He provides a service. When he was in the military, he had a mission, an objective, and he completed it. He didn’t take ownership of it. It’s the exact same thing now. Michael hired him; the footage belongs to him. Even if he had a copy, which he doesn’t, he couldn’t give it to her.

Ned says, no need for Sonny to get in his face. He has no beef with him. Sonny says, only with Carly, ratting her out to the SEC? That’s low, even for a Quartermaine. Ned says he doesn’t owe Sonny any explanations. He’s here to see his wife. Sonny says, Ned’s not going anywhere until he’s done with him.

Ava tells Austin that Nikolas inherited property in the Chechen Republic, and Laura thinks that’s where he’s been hiding out. Austin asks, why? and she says, the theory is that Victor hid him there once before, and Laura wants to fly to Chechnya, find him, and bring him home. He says, she told him they have a problem. If Laura wants to go to Chechnya, she’s not going to find him. Let her go. Let her try. Ava says, it’s dangerous. She could be hurt or worse. They have to stop her. He says he’s going to push back on that just a little bit. If Ava goes to Laura and tells her not to go to Chechnya to look for her long lost son, she’s going to want to know why. He totally understands that she’s worried, but she can’t say anything to Laura. She can’t do anything to raise suspicion. She says she can’t have any more blood on her hands, especially not Laura’s.

Curtis says, Jordan spoke to Portia about him? but she says, don’t worry. She didn’t tell Portia what happened with them at The Savoy. Isn’t he going to invite her in? He says, absolutely, and she walks in the house. She says, it really is lovely here. When was he going to tell her that he moved back home? He says, actually, he was coming to find her right now. He opened the door and there she was. She says, she’s always here when he needs her, except she’s not sure it works the other way around. He says, she’s angry, and she says, he can add hurt to that. Definitely confused. After they kissed, they agreed she’d wait, and while she was waiting, he reconciled with his new wife.

Spencer puts the key in the box, and tells Trina, if Pandora had left that box closed, the world would have been spared its evils. She says, hope also came out of that box. Stop stalling. He opens it, and she asks if that’s what she thinks it is. He says, what fresh hell? and takes out a tablet. He tries it, and says, of course (🍷). No juice. Maybe it’s sign. He puts it back in the box and closes it, but she says, it just needs a fresh charge. Good thing his girl always comes prepared. She digs in her bag, and says, her dad has a rule; she should never be without a charge. She takes out a charger, and he says, remind him to thank her dad the next time he sees him. She plugs in the tablet, and he takes an envelope out of the box, pulling out a paper. She asks if that’s a receipt, and he says, from an online pharmacy. This is a prescription filled from Esme for the same drug that almost killed Oz Haggerty. She says, and poisoned her.

Carly says she’s not selling anybody out, but Michael says, maybe she shouldn’t look at it that way. She asks how she’s supposed to see it. She either turns on the man she loves or the man she used to love, who happens to be the father of her kids. He says, she told Sonny that she wouldn’t double-cross him. While that’s admirable, from where he’s standing, Sonny hasn’t exactly extended the same courtesy to her or this family. She says, that’s not true. Sonny offered to give her information that she could offer the Feds; something he could defend himself against. She turned him down. She doesn’t want to open that door. He says, what if she had something Sonny couldn’t defend himself against?

Ned suggests he save Sonny and himself some time. If he doesn’t pull some strings and get the SEC to stop the investigation against Drew and Carly, Sonny makes him pay. Is that the gist of it? Sonny says, Ned’s going to pay, and Sam tells Dante that he may want to do something about this. Ned asks if Sonny is threatening him, but Sonny says he doesn’t threaten people; he gets even. He thought they had mutual respect, until Ned went after the mother of his kids. Ned says he had nothing to do with it, and they start yelling at each other. Dante comes over, and tells them to settle down, but Ned says he’s not the one who started this. Sonny says he’ll finish it. Is that what Ned wants? Olivia comes out, and asks, what the hell is going on here?

Ava tells Austin that she’s a mother too. She understands what Laura is going through, but she can’t risk anything happening to Laura while she searches for Nikolas, especially since it’s her fault he’s gone in the first place. He says, let’s do it. Let’s figure out a way to stop Laura. She thanks him, and he says he’d like to propose some terms though. She says, like what? and he says he doesn’t see any reason to rush things. It’s probably hard for anybody to go to Chechnya, let alone an American, and it’s probably not going to be easy for Laura to get out of Chechnya. So whatever plan Laura comes up with has to be well thought out and considered, and hopefully, that will give them some time to really think about how to stop her.

Curtis tells Jordan that him moving back in with Portia isn’t a reconciliation. It’s just a first step. She asks if Portia knows that, and he says he’s staying in the guest room. She says, even so, what gives? Was he ever considering reviving what they had together, or was she just there to help him sort out his feelings for his wife? He says he’d never play her like that. What happened between them was spontaneous. It was compulsive, but it was completely organic. She says, maybe this is on her. She got wrapped up in a single kiss. She misread the situation, didn’t she?

Spencer says he wasn’t sure Trina knew that Esme drugged her that night at the cabin, and she says, her mom and Curtis suspected it. She barely drank that night, and certainly not enough to make her feel so out of it. How did he know? Did Esme tell him? He says he found pills. He was going through all Esme’s things trying to find something that would clear Trina in court, and he brought one of the pills to Britt. She told him that it was an opioid analgesic, something if mixed with alcohol could cause a person to lose consciousness. He’s so sorry. She says, so is she, and he says he means he’s sorry he didn’t tell her about this sooner, but things just kept happening, one thing on top of another, and he guesses it just got buried. He’s sorry. She says, she knows. It’s okay. it’s been a lot, but it sure comes back up though. It was such a violation, and it started the whole revenge porn case. At least she didn’t end up like Oz Haggerty in a coma. He says he wanted to be the one to save her, but he didn’t have any actual proof. She picks up the prescription, and says, until now.

Ava thanks Austin, and says she feels so much better. It really helps her that she has someone to share this with. He says, literally any time. When she said there was a problem, he thought she might have heard from Mason, but she says, not a peep. He says, that’s great, but weird, because usually when he has his hooks in somebody, he’s not inclined to let go. She says, small favors, as he opens his office door. Can they hope that Mason has given up… Just outside the door, Mason says, given up on them? Never.

Dex opens his laptop and tells Josslyn, look for herself. She says, if he tells her it’s not there, she believes him. She has to. Because if he’s lying, they’ve got nothing. He says he spent months telling her half-truths and keeping secrets. He won’t do that again. She says, even if it’s his job? Just like it was his job to get the video for Michael, and not keep a copy, and not give it to her? He says, to him, honesty and evidence are two different things. He can tell her what he’s doing, but he can’t make her a part of it.

Ned says, he and Sonny were just having a friendly chat; one where he just shuts up and listens. Olivia says, in case Sonny’s forgotten, this is her place of business, and Sonny says, so he can’t have a conversation in her hotel? Sam says she thinks what Olivia means is, they should do this more privately, and Dante says, like not at a patio with a pool full of witnesses. Sonny says, to be continued, and Ned says he gets that Sonny is pissed. Had he done what Sonny is accusing him of doing, Sonny would have every right to threaten him, but as God is his witness, it wasn’t him.

 Michael says, at least he and Sonny are in agreement about one thing; they both don’t want Carly to go to prison. Carly says she knows he has huge issues with his dad, and he says he does. Despite everything that happened, he still had to come to grips with wanting to save his mother at the expense of his father. Carly says, it’s a good thing he doesn’t have to, and Michael says, Joss is worried about her and so is he. If it came down to the choice of saving her or Sonny… She says she’s not going to sacrifice Sonny to save her own skin; she won’t do that. He says, what if he does it instead?

Trina wonders how this receipt got here. Is there something else in that envelope? Spencer takes out a folded paper, and says, it’s a letter, handing it to Trina. She reads: Dear Maggie, I need your advice. I may be in a lot of trouble… He says, that’s Esme’s nanny, takes the letter and reads: That sleazy bartender I met has been harassing me. I tried to convince him to leave me alone, and things got out of control. I slipped him something so I could get away. I may have seriously hurt him. Trina asks if Spencer realizes what this is, and he says, evidence. She says, it’s got to be Esme’s handwriting, and he says, it looks like it. She says, isn’t that just like Esme, trying to slant things to make herself look like the victim? She’s the one who purposely drugged Oz Haggerty. You could never induce that girl to tell the truth. He says, total amnesia could, and Trina says, this is amazing. A receipt that proves Esme bought the drugs that could incapacitate two people, and a written confession. What else do they need? He asks if she thinks it’s enough, and she says, only one way to find out. She opens the fastest charging tablet in the world, and they look at it.

Curtis says, Jordan didn’t misread anything. His feelings for her are real, and him moving in here doesn’t change that. I call him an idiot, and she asks, how real are his feelings for Portia? He says he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have feelings for Portia as well, and she says she’s out of here. He says, she accused him of not giving their marriage the chance it needed, and she was right. When Jordan wanted to work on things, he walked away because he wasn’t ready to handle the pain at that time. Now he’s trying to learn from his mistake. It wouldn’t be fair to her and Portia if he walked away from his marriage before he sorted out his feelings. She asks how he plans on doing that, and he says, by not avoiding Portia, by committing to having the hard conversation, by doing what he didn’t do with her, and that’s putting in the hard work. She says, that’s admirable, and great news for Portia, but where does that leave her?

Ned says, Sonny is right. They’re families have had an ugly history, but they share a family member. They both prioritize family, and granted, the Quartermaines don’t always show it. But when push comes to shove, they’re loyal and they pull together. When he threatened Drew, he was angry, but that’s where it ended. And he considers Carly family, not just because she’s Michael’s mother, but she’s Olivia’s best friend, and loved by his son Leo. He would never hurt her. Sonny suggests they not pretend Ned would never act in his own self-interest. His family loyalty took a vacation when he threw in with Valentin, and that’s the reason Carly lost half her hotel. Ned says, and he regrets that, which is why he’d never kick her while she’s down. Olivia says, she and Sonny go way back, which is why she’s not asking him to believe Ned. She’s asking Sonny to believe her. Her husband didn’t do this.

Mason says, don’t Austin and Ava look comfortable; all cozy and at ease. Did they miss him? Mason comes in, and Austin closes the office door. Mason says, sorry he’s been gone so long. He was out of town on important business. But worry not. He didn’t forget about them. He’s keeping tabs. Austin asks, how? and Mason asks if anybody ever told Austin that he worries too much. He should be more like their girl Ava. She’s been living her life; carrying on without a care in the world. It’s almost as if she didn’t miss her husband.

Dex says he’s sorry. Josslyn’s scared about her mom, and she came to him thinking he could save her, but he can’t. He feels like he’s failing her. Josslyn says she came up with a plan that didn’t work. She thought he could give her something he literally doesn’t have. So it’s not his fault. None of this is his fault. It’s her family’s mess, and she doesn’t know how to fix it. If her mom doesn’t turn in that evidence, and goes to prison, then Donna literally has nobody except Sonny and Nina, and she needs her mom. He says, Donna will have her. He thinks Josslyn needs her mom too, and Josslyn says, but she’s grown, and she shouldn’t need her mom as much as she does. He says, we always need the people who care about us the most, and she says she can’t sit here and do nothing. She has to find a way to help her mom. He suggests she start by trusting her mom.

Carly tells Michael, the Feds have been circling this family for years. She hasn’t talked, and she’s not going to start now, even for a deal. He says, she could probably send Sonny away with what she already knows, and she shrugs. He says, but there’s a way to ensure she never has to open her mouth. He takes out the flashdrive, and tells her, what’s on this flashdrive is irrefutable evidence that Sonny violated the National Security Act. Just give him the word, and he’ll make sure the relevant parties see it. Her hands will be clean. She asks, what’s on the flashdrive? and he says, video footage of Sonny and his crew finalizing a deal to transport a dangerous weapon. She asks how he knows this. How did he even get that flashdrive? He says, because he commissioned it.

Sonny says, because of Olivia, this is over, but if he hears Ned had any part of this… Ned says he won’t, and Olivia tells Sonny, see you around, and leaves with Ned. Sam gives Sonny and Dante some space, and Dante says, what the hell was that? Sonny says, from what he knows, Ned had something to do with Carly’s problems with the SEC. What does Dante expect him to do? Dante says, not that. He wants to go to bat for the mother of his children, that’s fine, but don’t go after Ned in a public place. Ned has an accident or something, and who does Sonny think they’ll want him to talk to? Sonny. Does he really want both of Donna’s parents to end up behind bars?

Carly says, Michael paid someone to spy on Sonny? and he says he needed proof of criminal liability that could send Sonny to prison for the rest of his life, and this was more than he could ask for. Obviously upset, Carly asks what he was thinking. What’s on that drive could destroy their family. He says he knows. Willow told him the same thing. That’s why, after they got married, he decided to forget about taking Sonny down anymore. She says, but he still held on to it, and he says, it’s a good thing he did. This could be the only thing that’s standing between her and federal prison.

Dex says, Josslyn can’t tell Carly how to handle this, anymore than Carly can tell her how to handle her life. Josslyn says, she definitely has opinions, and he says, about him; about her being with him. Josslyn says, she told him; her mom just doesn’t want to see her get hurt. She never directly told Josslyn not to be with him. She knows Josslyn wouldn’t listen. He says, it would have solved all their problems if he’d done what Michael wanted and left Port Charles, but she says, not really, because she offered to go with him, and she meant it. He says he knows, and the fact that she was willing to do that terrified him.

Ava says, you freak, and Austin steps between her and Mason, who says, ouch. Is that really what she thinks of him? After everything he’s done for her? Does he need to refresh their memories about what would have happened if he hadn’t stepped in to solve their little problem? They don’t like sunshine and fresh air? Because he could go to the PCPD right now, and guarantee they never see those again. Austin asks, what’s his point? Is there one? Does he have a purpose, or is he just there to torment them? Mason says, don’t rush him. Although he appreciates the go-getter attitude. He’s going to need it. It’s time for the two of them to show poor old Mason some appreciation.

Looking at the tablet, Trina says, is that… Spencer says, Esme with the bartender, and she says, this looks like a still from the security camera on the docks. What are they doing? Spencer says, that’s a hand-off, and Trina asks if this is proof Esme paid for a burner phone; the same one she filmed Joss and Cam with? He says, sure looks like it, and she says, all this time they thought Esme could cover up her tracks so well. She guesses there’s no such thing as a perfect crime. He says, no. At least not where his Uncle Victor is concerned.

Curtis says he knows this is uncomfortable for Jordan, and he knows it isn’t fair. But he never would have asked her to wait if he thought she was some consolation prize. She asks if Portia knows she’s the other half of this equation, and he doesn’t say anything. She says, for someone who hates dishonesty, doesn’t he think he should be fully transparent to both women in his life? He says he does. There’s just more at play here. She says, Portia told her the news. He’s Trina’s father. He says he is, and she says, congratulations. He thanks her, and she says, he’s navigating so much. Is there really room in his life for another complication? He says, she’s much more than that. It just took him too long to realize it. Can she give him just a little bit more time?

Mason says, if it wasn’t for him, they would both be behind bars, and Austin suggests Mason just tell them what he has in mind. Mason says he has something he needs them to do, and Ava says she’d be happy to buy him a bus ticket out of town. He doesn’t even have to ask. Mason says, Ava’s attitude will come in handy, as well as her charisma and fearlessness. Ava’s got all the charisma they need. Ava says, his needs are not her problem, and her ample charisma is none of his damn business. Mason says, so feisty, and Austin says, she is. Why doesn’t he just explain to Ava what he wants from her? Mason says, we want to work your very specific connections, and Ava says, we who? And what connections is he talking about? Does he want a deal on a piece of art? Mason says, it’s not about her art. It’s about her family.

Trina says she has so many questions. How did Spencer’s uncle obtain all this evidence, and how long was he sitting on it for? And if he hadn’t died, would Spencer have ever known? Spencer says, those are all valid questions. This safety deposit box contains a smoking gun. This is exactly what he was hoping for. Trina suggests they get everything together and go to the PCPD. He has everything he needs to get custody of his baby brother.

Jordan says she’s been living in limbo since her and Curtis’s divorce. While he reunited with Portia, fell in love, and proposed, she found herself buried in work, even resisting going out on dates. He says he never wanted that for her, but she says she’s not blaming him. It was her choice not to move on. Maybe subconsciously she was holding out for hope. He says he doesn’t want to keep her waiting. That’s exactly why they’re having this conversation, so he can find out where he stands with Portia, and find out where he stands with her. She says she knows where they stand. She hopes he can find what he’s looking for here, and hopes he and Portia can be happy, together or apart. He says, and her? and she says she has to truly let go; finally. Two years was too long to put her life on hold. She leaves.

Olivia says she’s sorry, but Ned says he doesn’t blame her. He’s let her down before. She says, he’s also been there before, like with Leo. She should have never doubted him. Can he forgive her? He says, maybe. Can she remind him what she said to Sonny again? She says, my husband didn’t do this? and he says, one more time. She repeats it with tears in her voice, and he kisses her.

Josslyn tells Dex, she gets it. This is just too much. What started as a casual thing just got way too intense. He says, they’ve never put a label on their relationship. In the beginning, he was excited to just spend time with her, but usually she was tearing into him for working for Sonny. Then she rescued him from a meat hook, patched him up when he was shot. She even covered for him when he took a shot at that killer on the docks. She says, anyone would have done that, and he says, not anyone would have gone to the lengths for him that she has.

Sonny says, Donna shouldn’t have to lose time with her mother in jail, and Dante says, okay, but Carly’s actions bear some responsibility, no? Sonny says, she didn’t do it on purpose, but whoever pointed the SEC at Carly and Drew sure as hell did. There’s an agenda. Sam comes back with drinks, and Dante says, Sonny sounds like he has someone in mind other than Ned. Sam says, that tip to the SEC was anonymous, and Sonny says, anybody could be trying to get to Carly, or use Carly to get to him.

Carly covers her face with her hands, and Michael says he’d decided this information would never serve a good purpose, but now he realizes it could save her. Does she want to use it, or does she want him to? Carly says she’d prefer it didn’t exist, and he says he respects that, but if she changes her mind… She says she won’t. This footage can never see the light of day. Who else knows about this? Wait. I haven’t seen the moss bowl🎍since that first scene. Did Michael steal it when she wasn’t looking?

Dex says, Josslyn has defended him to her mom, gone to bat for him with her brother, and even pleaded his case to Sonny. She’s special; once in a lifetime. The thought of losing her scares him because he’s in love with her. Now it’s his turn to ask; is this too much for her? She says she loves him too, and they kiss.

Pfft! for a Friday ending.

On Monday, Tracy asks what the hell someone is doing; Mason wants Ava to use her connection to Sonny; and Trina asks Spencer what he’s keeping from her.

💣 Spy Vs Spy…

What the WSB is all about.

🧑🏽‍⚕️ Most Wanted…

It doesn’t surprise me that everyone wants to work with him. And he’s one of the few I’ll allow to have a man bun.

👏🏼 She Has the Clap…

My least favorite OC Housewife.

💎 Good Luck With That…

These people are just weird.

🍸 You Know the Drill…

Bombshells and rumors.

Ariana speaks.

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Although I do think the reason she’s so vapid is that Ariana was right the first time; she finds her identity in men. Without a puppeteer, she’s a literal blank slate.

https://www.etonline.com/raquel-leviss-addresses-her-future-on-vanderpump-rules-after-scandoval-205751

Most of this isn’t shocking. It’s a little sad how Ariana feels about LVP. Of course LVP can do no wrong, but I actually see where she’s coming from. She’s a lot older than the cast, and she’s always taken on the mom role. It’s not that she condones what that awful weasel with a moustache did, but as one of her kids, she’s not totally turning her back. And seriously, is she supposed to pull out of her investment in TomTom?

https://screenrant.com/shocking-reveals-scandoval-unseen-vanderpump-rules-season-10/#production-pushed-raquel-to-text-ariana-an-apology

👩🏽‍🍳 Packing Her Knives…

Obviously I watch more than I recap, and this one’s a favorite of mine. She’ll be missed.

⚰️ Spinning In Their Graves…

What’s coming up on the Dead horizon.

🐕 Canine Recreation…

This is precious.

https://people.com/christie-brinkley-senior-dog-recreate-2014-people-cover-exclusive-7505871

🎺 Quotes of the Week

Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You’ll find they haven’t half the strength you think they have. – Norman Vincent Peale

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. – Eleanor Roosevelt (Oooh, snap!)

Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive. – Haruki Murakami

There’s diseases in mouse poops. – the son of a hoarder, Hoarders

Gardens, scholars say, are the first sign of commitment to a community. When people plant corn they are saying, let’s stay here. And by their connection to the land, they are connected to one another. – Anne Raver

I raise up my voice—not so that I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard…We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back. – Malala Yousafzai

The haunted house was a success. We made people cry.Jonah Johnston, 7 Little Johnstons

🌿  Springing Into Summer…

Enjoy your break from the daily, unless enjoyment is your daily. If so, carry on. Perhaps there will be a dip in the Dead pool on Sunday, but definitely on Monday really Tuesday there will be soap, Deck, and awful Summer people for all. Until then, stay safe, stay keeping cool in hot situations, and stay opening any safety deposit box you’re bequeathed. You never know.

June 1, 2023 – Anna Threatens the WSB, Soap Mix, Blame Game, VanderChaos, Coming Last, Prosperous Pets (!) & Style

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

THE POOL IS OPEN!!! Josslyn and Trina walk in, and Spencer jumps out. Clearly, he’s been working on his summer body. He says, finally. They have no idea what he had to do to defend their chaises. The dirty looks, and he’s gotten the oh-so polite questions from the staff as to when the rest of his party will be here. Josslyn says she’s sure it was a hideous strain, but she thanks him for enduring it on their behalf. Trina asks how they can ever repay him? and he says, for her, he’ll think of something. Josslyn doesn’t owe him anything. He wasn’t saving the chaise for her, but he knew she’d be with Trina, and Trina would want her to have one. Josslyn tells Trina, don’t worry; she still gets a chaise out of it. Trina asks if they’re going to do this all day, and Spencer says, just like old times. Trina says, before the DNA test results? Josslyn says, before the SEC charges? and Spencer says, before Greenland? Josslyn leaves for a moment, and Spencer says, the only one missing is Cameron. Trina asks if he’s going to make this weird, and he says he won’t… He might though. Trina sees Dex and Josslyn kissing.

Portia nearly runs into Curtis at the bottom of the stairs, and she says, there’s a fresh pot of coffee on. She’s got some fresh fruit and there’s eggs in the fridge… He says he’s not a houseguest. He can make his own breakfast. She says she guesses she’s just adjusting to him being back home. She wasn’t sure he’d come back home after finding out Trina is his biological daughter. She asks what made him decide to stay, when the doorbell rings. It’s Stella.

Jordan brings TJ coffee at the hospital, and he says, thanks; he needed this. She says, clearly he does. He forgot they were meeting for coffee. He says he’s sorry. It’s been a rough morning, and it completely slipped his mind. Molly spent the night at her mom’s house. Jordan asks if something happened, and he says he really messed up.

There’s a knock at Laura’s door, and she answers it to Valentin. He says he believes she has something that belongs to him.

Anna paces, when Hursley walks in. She asks why she’s under arrest, and he asks if she reads The Sun. She says she doesn’t read that rag, and he says, she should. The WSB got wind last night that she made the front page. He tosses the paper on the table, and she picks it up, seeing her picture with ANNA DEVANE DOUBLE AGENT underneath it. He asks if she has any idea how she made the cover.

Josslyn says she didn’t think Dex would show up, and he says he couldn’t say no to her, but he’s not sure her plan’s going to work. Spencer hates his guts and he doesn’t see that changing.

Spencer asks Trina if Dex doesn’t have some crimes to commit. Some kneecaps to break; suckers to punch. She says, Josslyn invited him, and he asks when she’s going to realize he’s a dead end loser and dump him. She says, he’s important to Josslyn, and they’re all spending time together unless he wants to lose Josslyn as a friend. He says, it won’t be the first time he’s lost a friend to Dex, and she says, Cameron got a soccer scholarship at Stanford. Dex’s relationship with Josslyn didn’t force him to leave. He says, it certainly made things easier, didn’t it? He knows if push came to shove, Josslyn would choose him over Dex, and Trina looks at them, and says, oh yeah. Josslyn is definitely not dumping Dex for him. He says, Josslyn may forget about Cameron, but he won’t. Josslyn and Dex walk over to them, and Dex holds out his hand, saying, no hard feelings?

Stella asks if Marshall is here. She just came by for his gumbo recipe. Portia says, he’s out, but she can tell him that Stella stopped by, and Curtis asks if Stella came by to chat about gumbo. Stella says, Marshall called her last night, and he told her about Trina’s paternity. She thought it was time for her and Curtis to clear the air.

TJ tells Jordan that he’s sorry. He didn’t mean to open a vein. She says, he’s free to unload on her any time. What’s going on with him and Molly, or is it none of her business? He says, she knows he and Molly have been talking about starting a family. They met with Dr. Navarro, and they’re having some fertility issues. She says she’s so sorry, and he says, things got really tense between them. He said some things he shouldn’t have. Molly raced out of the apartment, and went to her mom’s. He spent the night pacing. He wants her to come home. Jordan says, she will. He and Molly have the kind of partnership other people dream about. They’ll get through this. He says he hopes she’s right. He feels like, just when Molly needed him the most, he pushed her away. She asks if he’s sure about that, and he looks up to see Molly.

Laura says, Valentin missed the reading of his father’s will, but Valentin says he didn’t. Martin filled him in on the details. She says, so he received his inheritance then? and he says, she means the finger? It was cute. He laughed himself silly, but the man’s still dead. She says, he managed to get his point across, even from beyond the grave, didn’t he? and Valentin asks if she saw what he left for Anna. She says, he said he left her the truth, which didn’t make any sense until she got up and read the morning paper, and he says he saw that too. Anna’s been arrested by the WSB. She says she didn’t know that, and he says, a source of his at the Bureau said Victor obviously stole a copy of Anna’s personal file before going missing year’s ago, and made arrangements to have it made public in the event of his untimely death. She says, the paper claimed to have obtained classified documents from the WSB, and he says his father obviously isn’t done ruining people’s lives. Luckily, he won’t have any influence on the younger generation of Cassadines. Anyway, he digresses. Martin said Victor left something else for him, aside from the finger. She says, it’s not for him; this is for Charlotte. She hands him a velvet pouch, and he takes out a pendant necklace with the Cassadine crest on it.

Anna tells Hursley that she doesn’t need to read any more of that. It’s her life after all. He says, her cover is blown, but she says, there’s nothing in that article the Bureau didn’t know about already. He says, don’t go any further. They’re doing this by the book. She asks what they’re doing, and he tells an agent to bring him in. She asks, what’s happening? when the agent lets Martin in through another door. She asks what he’s doing here, and Martin says, Valentin called him late last night, and said she was arrested. They’ll have to forgive his appearance. The Bureau kept him waiting for hours. Anna says, so this arrest is a mistake. Someone overreacted while talking to the higherups. Hursley says, on the contrary. She’s being accused of a crime against the state. She says, what crime? and he says, treason.

Laura says, even though it was meant for Charlotte, she thought it was best to give it to Valentin, and he says, the Cassadine crest. She says she hates that thing, and he says he can’t say that he blames her. He left his in a box for many years, until he was ready to come forward and claim what he thought was his rightful inheritance before he put it on his finger. She says, her first instinct was to throw that thing into the harbor. It represents everything she loathes about the Cassadines; everything she doesn’t want her granddaughter to be. But it belongs to Charlotte, and as her father, he gets to decide. He says he doesn’t know that throwing it in the harbor will make Charlotte any less of a Cassadine. His father’s gone, and with him, his influence and expectations. So it’s his hope that Charlotte can create a new legacy for her family.

Portia says, maybe she can move things around at work and stay, and Stella says, thank you, but this conversation between her and Curtis is long overdue. Portia says she’s the one responsible for the tension between the two of them. Maybe she should stay and be a part of this. Stella says she wishes Portia had been honest from the beginning, but she’s not entirely to blame. Curtis is a man who wants the truth, and there are some hard truths they need to talk about. Go on; they’ll be fine. Portia leaves, and Curtis brings Stella some coffee and sits next  to her. He says, now that they know Trina is his, does she want to explain why she kept that information to herself?

Spencer shakes Dex’s hand, saying, he’s glad Dex could join them, and Dex says, him too. Can he get anybody any snacks or drinks? Trina says, orange juice, and Spencer says, make that two. Dex and Josslyn go to the bar, and Spencer says he can’t believe he’s being forced to spend time with that thug. Trina tells him that she’s only going to say this once more; let… it… go. He says, Heller is the one who punched him. He did let it go. He shook the man’s hand, didn’t he? She says, like he was diseased or something. Spencer says he spends enough time taking care of his little brother. Doesn’t she think he deserves a morning with his friends? She says, maybe he should think about his brother. He’s the one who took the first swing at Dex, right? He says, yes… so…? and she says, if he starts another fight, it could possibly blow up into something worse. Does he think a judge would be happy to see he got in trouble again? Is that what a responsible guardian would do?

Anna asks if Hursley is insane, and Martin says, now that he’s finally in the room, he’d like to speak to his client in private. Hursley says, of course (🍷), and he and the other agent leave. Anna asks, what’s going on? and Martin says, the media, and she’s officially a sitting duck. They’re particularly interested in what aspect of the file Victor got released, detailing her life as a double agent. She says, the Bureau knew about this already, and he says, maybe they did, but the public didn’t. Now The Sun’s got hold of it. Her name, hell, her entire history is about to be splashed across the front page of every paper, website, and cable news broadcast in the entire country. This is bad. The public will want answers. They’ll think they want justice. She asks how she’s supposed to defend herself against accusations that are true.

Valentin puts the necklace in his pocket, and Laura brings him coffee. There’s a lot of that going around today. She says she was wondering if he could help her with something. Has he by any chance seen the Cassadine property in Chechnya? He says, on the Terek River; yes, he has. Several years ago, he had to see it for himself. It’s been in the family for 200 years at least. He’s a little surprised the Soviets didn’t take possession of it, and why it’s not in the hands of the current government. She says, it seems Victor has left it to Nikolas, and hands him the deed. She thinks this may be where Victor took Nikolas to recuperate… from when Valentin shot him. He says, that was in self-defense, and she says, let’s not revisit it. He agrees, and asks if she thinks Nikolas is at the property. She says she doesn’t know; it could just be wishful thinking. He says, anything’s possible, but if he is there, given the current political climate, it will be tougher to leave the country without raising red flags. That’s assuming he wants to leave. She says she’s sure he doesn’t, but she has to find him and bring him home.

Spencer tells Trina, fine. He’ll play nice with Dex, but he’s not going to forgive Dex for what he did to Cameron. She says, they may never know exactly what happened between Joss and Cam, but everyone could see it wasn’t working at the end. But now Cam has a scholarship at Stanford, and Joss and Dex – she looks over at them – seem really happy together. Doesn’t Joss deserve that? Josslyn and Dex come back with the drinks, and Spencer says he’s sorry about the punch yesterday. Dex says he’s sorry he hit Spencer in the face, and Spencer says, Dex got him pretty good. Dex doesn’t seem to have a mark on him though. Dex says he can teach Spencer how to block… Never mind. Spencer says, no, go ahead, and Dex shows him some moves as the girls laugh together.

Jordan says, it’s been a while, and Molly says, it’s been too long. She suggests they put it on the calendar, and Jordan says she’ll text Molly some dates. She says she has to check in with the station, and leaves. TJ asks if Molly got a good night’s sleep at her mom’s, but she says she tossed and turned all night. What about him? He says, same. Spending the night apart is not fun. She says she’s sorry she spent the night away. She just needed some time to think. He says she has nothing to apologize for. He was the one who was totally inconsiderate. The words came out wrong, and he doesn’t blame her; he never would. Can she forgive him?

On the phone, Jordan says, no word from the WSB on Anna’s arrest?… Let her know if they hear anything. Portia says she hopes she’s not interrupting anything, but Jordan says, not at all. What’s on her mind? Portia says she was just wondering if Jordan has spoken with Taggert at all recently, and Jordan says, no; why? Portia says, he might need a friend right about now, and Jordan says, the DNA results came back. And Curtis is Trina’s father.

Stella says, why didn’t she tell Curtis that she suspected he was Trina’s father? She’s been asking herself that question a lot lately. He asks if she was able to find an answer, and she says she was trying to get back to the day of his wedding, and why she couldn’t officiate. He tells her that she said something about her conscience, and she says she couldn’t in good conscience marry him and Portia, knowing Portia hadn’t told him that he might be Trina’s father. She didn’t feel she should be the one to tell him; she convinced herself of that. That she couldn’t interfere, because he and Portia seemed so happy, and she didn’t want to get in the way of that. He says, so what changed? Why now? She says, ultimately, she caused more pain and heartache by keeping silent, and she’s sorry. She hopes he can forgive her.

Anna tells Martin, early in her career, she was compromised by the DVX, specifically, Cesar Faison. She thought she could outwit him, but she couldn’t. So she ended up leaving here for a bit, then she came back… eventually. She gave them full disclosure; she told them everything, and she was reinstated. She’s had a clean record ever since. The Bureau has trusted her for decades. He says, none of that’s going to make any difference to the general public. That article does a good job of painting her as a total Judas. A trusted agent, somebody with clearance, access to privileged information. Somebody who betrayed her own agency. She says, this is all ancient history. The only difference now is the media spotlight… and the fact Frisco has been replaced as Director. Now the Bureau wants to distance themselves from her actions. They’re charging her with treason to cover their own asses. He says, that’s exactly what they’re doing, which is why Valentin was right to call him. It’s time for him to protect her. This isn’t cloak and dagger. It’s public, it’s Federal, and that story’s not going away.

Valentin says, Laura wants to go to Chechnya to look for Nikolas? and she says, didn’t they do that for Charlotte? He says, Charlotte was in a boarding school in Switzerland; not exactly a war torn country. And Charlotte wanted to come home. They don’t know what Nikolas will want. She says she’s not that concerned about what her son wants. He’s needed here. Valentin says, and certainly wanted by the PCPD, and she says she’s sure he’s going to face some very unpleasant consequences for his behavior. He says, he held a pregnant woman in a tower at Windymere, and she says, at least he’ll be back in Port Charles and near his sons. He says, what about the people in Port Charles who need her? What happens if she doesn’t come home safe? She says she can’t think about that. She feels like a part of her is missing. She needs to find that part. He says he understands. And if she’s not going to worry about her own safety, somebody has to. So if she’s going to Chechnya, he insists on going with her.

Martin says he knows Anna said she was going to do this, but hear him out. She says, they have different rules, and he says he’s sure, but he really doesn’t care. He’s been sitting out there, growing old, drinking bad coffee, waiting to do his job, and she’s going to let him do it. He doesn’t know a whole lot about the inner workings – she says, he doesn’t know anything – but he knows she needs representation. Valentin was crystal clear. She’s not the only person in the world who’s good at their job. He’s already on retainer with Valentin. Valentin has ordered him to protect her, and he will comply. She says, fine, and sits down. He opens the door and says, we’re ready for you. Hursley comes in, and he and Martin sit. Hursley says he trusts Anna’s lawyer has brought her up to speed, and she says, yes, that the Bureau is hanging her out to dry. She’s aware. Martin says, there’s something he doesn’t understand. Perhaps Hursley can help him. Anna’s been honest about her history with the DVX for years, and since that time, she’s proved over and over again that she’s loyal, courageous… Hell, she’s a solid gold asset to the Bureau. Why all of a sudden is her dedication being called into question? Hursley says, it doesn’t matter that they appreciated Agent Devane’s work; their hands are tied. Her entire dossier has been released, and the public knows she’s never been held accountable for her crimes. Not until now.

In the pool, Trina tells Spencer, don’t dunk her or splash her, and he asks if those are the Trina Robinson pool rules. She says, set in stone, and kisses him. Josslyn and Dex are sitting on chaises, and Josslyn thanks Dex for not punching Spencer, but he says, Spencer’s not so bad. She says, he’s crazy about Trina. She thinks they might actually be in love. Which for Spencer means showing off, and Trina hates when he does that, but he knows Dex is ex-military, and she thinks he just wanted to prove he was tougher than Dex… and couldn’t. She hopes he’s embarrassed. He says, they’re going to be spending a lot of time together, hopefully poolside, and he wants her friends to like him. She says she likes him, and he says, the feeling’s mutual. He’s surprised she wanted to do this today. He thought she’d be at the hospital. She says, no, but there is something she wanted to talk to him about, and he says, about Willow? She says, no, Willow’s great, considering everything. Her doctors are optimistic. It’s about Michael. Things are pretty bad between them right now. He says, because of him, but she says, everything. Everything’s just gotten spun out of proportion. He says he’s sorry; how can he help? She suggests they go somewhere private to talk, and they leave. Trina thanks Spencer, and he says, for what? she says, for making an effort. She knows it wasn’t easy. She knows Joss appreciates it; so does she. He says he’s doing this for her, and she thanks him. With everything else going on in her life, she doesn’t want to worry about their relationship. He says he didn’t want to pry, but if she wants to talk, he’s here, and she says she honestly doesn’t know what to say.

Martin says, Hursley is talking about crimes that are decades old. That’s not who Anna is, and he knows it. What about the valor and bravery she’s displayed in the last two weeks alone? She got out of a hospital bed to take on Victor Cassadine. She stopped him from deploying a pathogen that would have wiped out millions. Anna tells Martin, stop. He’s wasting his breath. Hursley says, the new head of the WSB can no longer turn a blind eye to the agency’s past. If Agent Devane chooses to dispute the charges, the Bureau might need to take a closer look at Robert Scorpio, or Annie Donnelly, or any other colleagues who might be stained by her misdeeds. Anna says, hold on a minute. If she’s being asked to do what she thinks she’s being asked to do, then she needs assurances, but Hursley says, they’re not in the business of negotiating with double agents. Anna says, really? That’s a shame. Because what if her file is incomplete? What if there are other missions she took; other black ops that didn’t make it into her dossier or the WSB official books? Suppose she has evidence of these hypothetical ops hidden in some secure location? Evidence of activities that would seriously embarrass the WSB, far more than any news that’s being tallied around. Hursley asks if that’s a threat, and Martin says, oh no. He thinks what Anna is saying is… Anna says, what she’s saying is, if anything happens to Robert or Annie or anyone else she cares about, she’s taking the Bureau down with her.

Josslyn says, her mom has the chance to avoid these insider trading charges if she gets evidence against Sonny, and Dex asks, would she do it? Josslyn says, no. Of course (🍷) not. She won’t even consider it, but she doesn’t have to. Josslyn can do it for her.  

Spencer asks if Trina regrets taking the DNA test, but she says, no. She just misses her family the way they were. He says, she’ll find her way back to them. It’ll be different, but she and her mother had a great relationship. He’s always been jealous of it. She says she knows it could be way worse. At least everyone is healthy and safe and relatively sane. He looks off in the distance and she asks where he went. He says he was just thinking about something his Uncle Victor told him. He said something about Spencer having to safeguard his family, but all he left Spencer is a key to a safety deposit box. (That’s all? Geez, there could be billions in there for all Spencer knows.) She asks if he’s opened the box yet, but he says, no. He doesn’t know what he’ll find in there, considering everything Victor did while he was still alive. She says, safeguard his family. He meant Ace, right? Spencer says he thinks so, and she says, then the next question is; safeguard them from whom?

Molly says, of course (🍷) she can forgive TJ, but she understands why he was so confused. She’s been all over the place. He says, for good reason. He hates that she’s been in pain because she went undiagnosed. She says, she should have pushed it with the OB/GYN, but he says, that’s the doctor’s responsibility. They should have listened to her experience and asked for details. It’s the first thing they teach you in med school; you listen to your patient. You respect them. That didn’t happen for her. She says, it’s been a long time since she’s thought about it. Yes, it was isolating, scary even, to be told your pain is all in your head. (Wow. I didn’t think doctors told women that anymore.) He says he’s so sorry, and promises he never has and never will say that to anyone under his care. She says, that’s why she loves him so much. She thought she had to deal with this diagnosis on her own, like always, but now that she’s told him and her mom and her sisters, she knows that’s not true. She’s not alone, and if she’s not alone, anything is possible.

Curtis tells Stella that he and Trina are making progress, but it’s not easy, and she says she can’t imagine it would be. He says he’s just trying to take it slow, and make it abundantly clear that he’s not trying to replace Taggert, and he trusts that one day, he and Trina can develop their own special relationship. She says, they will. May she ask him about how he and Portia are doing? He says he’s not sure, and she says, but he moved back in. That’s progress, right? He says, it’s possible, and she asks what made him move back. He says, a situation arose between him and Jordan. They’d been spending some time together. She was helping him through all of this, and it happened. She says, oh my goodness, and he says he quickly realized that he needed – he wanted – to give his marriage to Portia a chance. So he came home. She says she’s glad to hear it; she truly is. How did Jordan take it? I’m wondering what Stella is thinking, given that Curtis made it sound like it was more than a kiss. A situation and it happened?

Portia tells Jordan, honestly, she doesn’t know how Curtis is doing either. They knew he could be Trina’s biological father, but now that it’s been confirmed, now that they know the truth… At least Stella stopped by, and she’s hoping Curtis can work things out with her. Jordan says, Stella’s back in town? and Portia says, she came to check on Trina after everything that happened in Greenland. So she’s hoping when she gets home from work, maybe Curtis and Stella will have made some progress. Jordan says she’s a little confused. What does Portia mean, home? Portia says she’s sorry; she’s all over the place. It’s the one thing that’s given her hope. Curtis decided to move back home.

Laura says, Valentin wants to go to Chechnya with her? Valentin says, does he want to? No, of course (🍷) not. But if she’s determined to go, he’s not letting her go alone. Besides, he knows a little Russian. She tells him that she honestly doesn’t know what to say, and thanks him. He tells her that she doesn’t have to say anything. Just say she wants to do this incredibly dangerous thing, and let him know when they’re leaving.

Curtis says he hasn’t spoken to Jordan yet, and Stella says, Jordan doesn’t know he moved back in with Portia? He says, there’s a lot of moving pieces… and she says, oh Lord. She’s in no position to tell him what to do, but please don’t wait. He needs to talk to Jordan, and he needs to do it now.

Jordan says, Curtis moved back in? and Portia says, they both decided it’s the only way to really make their marriage work.

TJ asks what Molly means, anything is possible? and she says, if he’s open to it, there’s more than one way to start a family. They hug.

Anna asks Hursley, what’s it going to be? Unlike the WSB, she does not make idle threats. Hursley is silent for a moment, then says, her friends are safe. He leaves, and Martin asks, what the hell just happened? Is he going ahead with the charges or not? Anna says, not, and he asks, why? What was all this about? What did he want? She says, he didn’t want anything. She doesn’t think the Bureau did. This is all just Victor. He wanted her resignation. She’s no longer an agent, nor will she ever be again.

Trina gets out of the pool, and Spencer says, taking off? She says, they’re going to the bank. They need to see who Victor thinks is the biggest threat to his family. He says, forget it. He doesn’t exactly trust his not-so dearly departed uncle. She asks who Victor would see as the biggest threat to his baby brother, and he asks how she expects him to know that. She says, by opening the deposit box – now, and he says, she’s not going to take no for an answer, is she? She asks what he thinks, and he gets out of the pool.

Dex says, Josslyn’s mom doesn’t want to make a deal with the Feds, so Josslyn is going to make one for her? She says, all Dex has to do is give her the evidence of Sonny working with Pikeman, and she’ll do what her mom can’t, and she’ll turn Sonny in, once and for all.

Tomorrow, Mason comes back to bother Austin; Michael says, there’s a way to insure Carly never has to open her mouth; and Sonny says, Ned’s not going anywhere.  

🛀🏽 Slow Week In Soaps…

The good.

The bad.

🔐 Pick a Prison Lane…

She’s a moron.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1375854/teresa-giudice-accuses-melissa-gorga-of-sending-her-to-prison-in-rhonj-reunion-shocker

🍸 Reviewing the Situation…

I don’t blame her.

https://okmagazine.com/p/chrissy-teigen-livid-john-legend-messing-vanderpump-rules-live-stream/

He’s even infected cosmetics.

The only one putting on a front was Sandoval.

This amusing recap was written by someone who doesn’t watch the show, but says they may watch it now. Don’t bother. As sad as it is to say, this was the best thing that could have happened to the show. New cast members weren’t really helping. I can’t even remember the names of the ones who’ve come and gone, although Charli stuck around. I have the feeling, it will all be downhill after this season. I’ll always be watching to get glimpses of Lisa, Puffy (!), and the palace/zoo that is Villa Rosa. But sometimes when you know it doesn’t get any better (or more dramatic) than this, it’s time to say goodbye. I stopped watching American Idol after the season where there was a hero – Scotty McCreary – and a villain – Haley Reinhart – and Lady Gaga sang Edge of Glory. They couldn’t top it if they tried. I also stopped watching the Academy Awards after the year I knew two people who were up for one. Short of receiving one myself, I can’t imagine anything more exciting.

https://ew.com/tv/vanderpump-rules-reunion-part-1-recap/

Just because I’ve grown to like Lala. And Sandoval gets more awful by the day.

https://www.etonline.com/lala-kent-says-shes-disgusted-by-tom-sandovals-vanderpump-rules-reunion-comment-about-her-daughter#taboola_organic

A blow-by-blow on Sandoval’s big baby tantrum with the producers. He acts like he’s Brad Pitt, and even Brad Pitt doesn’t act that way.

https://www.etonline.com/vanderpump-rules-star-tom-sandoval-threatens-to-stop-filming-after-scene-with-raquel-leviss-200441#taboola_organic

🌋 News Of the Last…

The latest on the apocalypse aftermath.

https://comicbook.com/gaming/news/the-last-of-us-tlou-season-2-casting-on-hold/

https://collider.com/the-last-of-us-season-2-cast-plot-release-window-creators-pedro-pascal-bella-ramsey/

🦔 Pets With Bank…

But they deserve every penny of it.

🪣 Talk Clean To Me…

Drop in tomorrow for the Friday free-for-all of soap, a cup or three of tea, some astute words, and an applicable tune for the month. Until then, stay safe, stay not blocking the aisles in the grocery store, and stay never believing pain is all in your head. Even if it is, it still needs to be treated.

Psy‘s Gangnam Style became the first video to reach 2 billion views on YouTube on May 31st in 2014. (A little late, but still worthy.)

May 31, 2023 – The Identity Of Trina’s Father Is Revealed, Part 2 of Rehashing Some VanderAwful Stuff & West

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Spencer wonders what’s in the box, and Ava asks if it’s ticking. Laura says, after everything they’ve been through with his uncle, he doesn’t need to open that.

Josslyn tells Carly to call Diane and make the deal. Testify against Sonny. Carly says she doesn’t know how much of the conversation Josslyn heard… Josslyn says, she heard enough. It’s a no-brainer. Carly doesn’t belong in prison, but Sonny does.

On the phone, Sonny says he wishes Nina were here. She should be here with her daughter. She tells him not to worry; she’s not giving up. She’s going to do whatever it takes to be with the people she loves.

Alexis walks into her office, and Esme is saying, she’s going to get fired. Gregory says, it’s not that bad, but she says, and on her first day. She hyperventilates, and he tells her, take a breath. Alexis asks, what’s going on?

Trina shows her ID at the desk to get her lab results, and the nurse leaves to get them. Taggert comes in, and Trina runs to him and hugs him.

Stella says, DNA results? For Trina? Portia says, Trina decided she wanted to know who her biological father was, so she had her DNA tested against Marcus’s and Curtis’s. Stella says, and now the results are in, and Marshall tells Portia and Curtis to get their butts over to the hospital, and be with Trina. Curtis says, sorry about dinner, but Marshall says he’ll save Curtis a bone. Just go. Curtis says he can’t believe it. In minutes he’ll find out if he’s going to be a father.

Trina asks how Taggert got here so fast, and he says, she called; he came. That’s the way it is, and that’s the way it’s going to be. In fact, he doesn’t mind having a little you and me time. She says she called Curtis a few minutes ago, and the nurse just went to get the results, so they should be good. He asks how she’s feeling, and she says, all over the place. Relieved that it’s over; terrified that the results won’t be what she’s hoped for. He says he hears that, and she says, mostly, she’s worried about the future. She knows they said nothing is going to change… He says, nothing is going to change between them, and she says she wants to believe that, but it happens to people all the time. They think nothing’s going to change, then in a heartbeat everything is different. He says, that’s people, not us, and she says, that’s what she keeps telling herself, but it’s not realistic. The truth is, those results could change everything.

Stella says she just wants Curtis to know no matter what those results say, they all love him and they’re here for him. She and his father would be happy to come with him if he needs the support. Curtis says he appreciates it, but he and Portia will be fine, and Portia says she doesn’t think Trina would want her there. Curtis says, Trina’s her daughter. This is a potentially life-changing day for her. Portia says, and whose fault is that? Trina called him, but didn’t call her. She thinks that speaks for itself. Curtis says he knows they have some things to work through, but one day, Trina is going to look back and be glad her mama was there for her. Portia says, okay, and Stella says, if either of them need anything… Marshall says, they’re going to be here, holding down the fort, just a phone call away. Curtis holds out his hand, Portia takes it, and they leave.

Carly tells Josslyn, yes, Sonny hurt her. He hurt all of them. She’s not saying they forgive and forget, but they move past it; they move on. What she definitely won’t do is have someone else pay for her mistakes. Sonny comes back, and says he’s sorry to interrupt, but he has to be somewhere. Can Michael tell Willow that he’ll see her tomorrow? Michael says, will do, and asks if he’s going to see Nina. Sonny says, yeah, and tells Carly to take care of herself. He leaves, and Josslyn says, he’s still choosing Nina over his own family, but Carly says, it’s his fiancé. Josslyn says, if Carly doesn’t make this deal, and actually goes to prison, he gets Donna full time, with Nina. Why is she still sacrificing herself for him after everything he’s done? Michael tells her, enough. This is mom’s choice, and they need to respect that. Josslyn says, and he’d know all about making choice that hurt innocent people, wouldn’t he? Carly looks at Michael.

Esme tells Alexis that she’s so sorry. She so screwed up. Gregory says, it’s hardly a disaster, and Alexis asks if one of them will tell her what’s going on. Esme says she’s so sorry, but Alexis says, not her. She just got five million text messages in the last half hour. What happened, and why is Gregory here? Gregory says he’s here because he was made aware of a minor snafu, and thought he might be able to help put out some fires. Alexis says, fires, plural, and Gregory says, it seems Esme inadvertently forwarded an email from a source to the global address book. Alexis says, opening them up to being scooped and making their source vulnerable? and Esme says, it was an accident. She thought she was just going to be answering the phones, and she’s doing everything that’s expected of her, but all she can think about is that Ace is staying with people who are trying to take him from her… Gregory says, Esme was already pretty frazzled by the time that email came in. He worked with the staff, and everything’s handled. It’s all fine. Alexis says, really? and Esme says, really? Gregory says, really, and Alexis tells Esme that she needs to be able to count on her to handle sensitive information responsibly, but it’s her first day, so Alexis is going to trust that she can, and that she’ll learn from her mistakes. Esme says, so she’s not fired? and Alexis says, not today, but you never know what tomorrow will bring. Clock out. Esme says, thank you. She’s so sorry, and promises Alexis won’t be sorry… at least not more than she already is. Esme runs out, and Gregory asks if Alexis thinks she’ll show tomorrow. Alexis says she’s calling a temp agency.

Spencer says he feels like he should at least know what it is. Everyone else’s gifts were innocuous enough. Ava says, open it or don’t, but whatever it is, don’t keep it. Laura says, it’s up to him, when there’s a knock at the door. Laura answers it to Anna, who says she’s sorry. She got held up at GH. Laura introduces her to JB, and Anna says she saw his name on the invitation to this… whatever get-together. She asks Laura if she even wants to know what she missed, and Laura says, Victor has found a way to be present from beyond the grave. JB says, please, take a seat, and Spencer says he’ll open this later. Let’s get this over with. JB puts the video back on, and Victor says, and now for his other nephew, Nikolas Cassadine, or should he say… Laura asks JB if Nikolas was invited to this. Does Victor know where her son is? JB gestures to the screen, where Victor is still saying Nikolas’s full name. He says, Nikolas came to his aid when he needed him. While Nikolas’s family mourned his death, they helped each other build new lives. Sadly, hard times finally caught up with Nikolas, but when the going gets tough, you need a home away from home. He trusts Spencer will take good care of his gift to Nikolas until Nikolas returns. JB pauses the video, and hands Spencer an envelope. JB puts the video back on, and Victor says he’s saved perhaps the greatest gift of all to his formidable opponent, special agent Anna Devane. Oh my dear Anna. They’ve both been in this business long enough to know eventually their sins catch up with them. So he leaves her the truth.

Taggert asks why Trina thinks everything is going to change, and she says, the only way nothing is going to change is if that test says he’s her biological father. He says, if not, he’s still her father and she’s still his daughter. No test is going to tell them how they feel about each other. She tells him, it’s not about what the test says; it’s about what blood says. She knows they’re not going to stop loving each other, but they’ll both have to live with the fact that she has another father, who she’s missed out on twenty years of getting to know. He asks if she regrets spending all that time with him instead, but she says, of course (🍷) not. He says, then what’s the problem? and she says, if it turns out that she and Curtis… She’s concerned the more she gets to know Curtis and his relatives, and the closer she gets with them, the more she’ll hurt Taggert. This is kind of a non-issue, since she would have gotten close to them anyway because Curtis married her mom.

Alexis asks if Gregory can explain to her what really happened with that email that Esme sent to the entire planet. What are they going to do about the fallout? How did he manage that? He says, the editors were divided on the best way to handle the leak, so while the staff tried to reach her, and they did try… She says she was at her homicidal uncle’s will reading. She couldn’t take any calls. He says he’s had some experience with sources in the past, and fortunately, this one was communicating with them through an anonymous email account. They refused comment to anyone who called to follow up, and legal watchdogged to make sure everything was minimal damage to The Invader. All in all, a great way to spend the evening. Alexis says she appreciates that he came in to handle it, and he says, his pleasure. She says she admits she’s a little surprised to see him, and that he’s been ghosting her.

Sonny hugs Nina, and she says, it’s kind of him to come and keep her company. He says he knows she’s worrying about Willow, so here he is, and she thanks him. She says she just keeps thinking if she stays away now, she might be able to get Willow back later, but she doesn’t want to talk about this subject anymore. She wants to talk about something happier. He asks what she has in mind, and she says she does have something in mind, and that’s a little bit of a clue. He says he thinks he knows what it is, and she says she has some ideas about their wedding, and she’d like to share them with him. She knows he really doesn’t care about that. Grooms usually don’t care about things like this. He says, you know what he cares about? Spending his life with her. She says, knowing he cares about that is what keeps her going.

Carly , what the hell is going on? and Josslyn suggests Michael tell her. Michael says, mom’s got enough on her plate right now. They can figure this out on their own. Carly says, or they could just tell her, when her phone rings. She says, it’s Pilar. She has to take this. If this isn’t over when she comes back, she wants to know. She leaves, and Michael says, Josslyn can be as pissed off at him as she wants. She thanks him, but says she doesn’t need his permission, and she doesn’t want to be mad at him. But he… He says he knows what he did, but they don’t need to involve mom. She’s got enough going on. She doesn’t need anything else right now. Josslyn says she doesn’t want to drag mom into what Michael is doing to Dex either. Maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t turn Sonny in.

Gregory tells Alexis that he’s sorry for going radio silent. He thought about reaching out many times. She asks why he didn’t, and he says, when he was diagnosed with ALS, all he could think about was not wanting to be a burden to anyone. Even though she urged him to tell the truth, he felt like he was putting this massive burden on her. When he didn’t hear from her, he assumed that’s how she felt; that he’d scared her off. That is until he got that last text message. She says, the reason he didn’t hear from her is she was afraid he’d think she was disrespecting his boundaries. Then she talked to her daughter – she didn’t tell her any details – and she told Alexis that there’s a big difference between inserting yourself in someone’s life when you’re not wanted, and simply reaching out to let him know she’s thinking about him. He says he convinced himself he could go it alone, but then her text made him realize he was wrong about that. How much he needs a friend.

Marshall tells Stella to eat this gumbo before it gets cold, but she says she doesn’t even want to think about food right now. He says, don’t think, just eat, and she says, as they speak, Curtis, Trina, and Portia are going through something momentous, and need the support of their family. He says, they’re supporting them by giving them the room they need to deal with this issue, regardless of what happens. Then they’ll come back to them. She says, Curtis might come to him, but her nephew wants nothing to do with her. He’s still upset that she ran away from his wedding. Marshall says, she may have run and hid, but at least she came back. Took her long enough. And here she is, letting his gumbo get cold. She says she appreciates what he’s trying to do, and she knows he thinks Curtis will forgive her, but she wasn’t there for him when he needed her the most. She’s just afraid she lost him forever.

Taggert says, when he sees Trina, he sees that little baby who he used to hold in his hands and sing to sleep at night. He sees that girl who demanded he take her training wheels off her bike. The same little girl whose skinned knee he was patching up when she crashed moments later. They laugh, and he says, when he looks at her, he sees her whole life – the good, the bad. He sees parts of her life he wasn’t even a part of. She’s always going to be here; he points to his heart. She’s always going to be a part of his life, and he’s always going to be a part of hers. Even if she ends up being part of another family, that doesn’t mean she’s not his. He puts his arm around her, and Curtis and Portia come out of the elevator.

Anna says, so that’s it? Victor wanted to taunt her one last time? Are they finished? JB says, not quite. He puts the video on, and Victor says, finally, to their illustrious mayor, Laura Collins. Oh my dear, dear Laura. If she’s watching this, it means she’s won. She’s the sole survivor of the great game they began all those decades ago. So he leaves her to live the rest of her life in peace – Laura looks surprised – with his respect and admiration, knowing she was indeed a worthy adversary. He lifts his glass, and says, congratulations, taking a drink. I almost want to cry at how fair he is here, and JB says, that concludes the reading of Victor Cassadine’s last will and testament. He leaves them to their grief. Spencer nearly chokes, and Laura thanks JB for everything, and for coming to the apartment. She appreciates that a lot. She gets the door for him, and he leaves. She says, so, and Ava says, so Spencer, open the envelope. Spencer says, this is a private family matter, and she’s no longer… Laura says she’d like to know what’s in it too, and he says, okay. He opens it, taking out a document, and says, it’s in Russian, so anybody? Laura says she thinks Anna can speak Russian (which is very different from reading it). Anna is daydreaming, and Laura gets her attention and asks if she can read Russian. Anna says, a little, and Spencer gives her the document. She says, it looks like a deed to a property. Right here’s the address. She shows Spencer, and says, sorry she can’t be of much help. He thanks her, and Laura asks if she can get Anna something. She thinks they could all use a stiff drink at this point. Anna says she has to get going, and Ava asks what she thinks this truth she’s inherited is about. Anna says, it’s just a mind game, isn’t it? Victor’s attempt to get her to obsess about something… drive her to distraction, whatever. Ava says she knows that song well, but Anna says she’s not worried about it. She doesn’t think any of them should take a gift from Victor at face value, and Laura says, they know better. Anna thanks her, and leaves. Laura wonders why Victor would leave Nikolas property.

Josslyn says, now that Michael’s left Dex out to dry, their mom can defend herself against the insider trading charges, but he says, they don’t even know if the Justice Department is going to make her an offer. Josslyn asks why Carly has to wait. She could bring the offer to them and save herself. And Drew, once Michael gives her the smoking gun. The recording Dex risked his life to make. The one that makes sure Sonny goes to prison for the rest of his life.

Nina tells Sonny that she wants to set the date far enough away so Willow’s recovered, in case she wants to go. She knows it’s a long shot. He says, whatever she wants, they’ll do. Anna walks in, and he says he’ll be right back. He says good to see her, and she says, him and Nina too. He says he knows she just got back from answering questions about Greenland. They need to catch up. Anna says she’d like that, and Nina says she’s sorry; she has to do this. She hugs Anna, and says, Anna risked her life to save her aunt so her aunt could save her daughter. For that, she’ll be grateful to Anna forever. Anna says, it was nothing, but Nina says, it was everything.

Michael says he has his reasons for not wanting to use that footage against Sonny, and Josslyn asks how those reasons compare to their mother going to prison, something he has the power to stop. Give the video to mom, and let her take it to the Feds. Carly comes back with TJ, and says, look who she found. TJ says he was just coming to find Michael. He has an update about Willow. Michael asks if the transplant is finished.

Spencer says he looked up the address; it’s in Chechnya. Laura says, the Cassadines are originally from Russia, so maybe it’s an old home of theirs? Esme comes in, and asks if the will reading is over. Laura says, they just finished, and Esme asks what Ace’s favorite blanket is doing here. Why isn’t it with him? Where is he? Spencer says, he’s asleep, and she says, Spencer put him down, without his blankie? She can’t leave him alone for a second. She goes to find Ace, and Spencer says, can you believe her? Laura says, she just got Ace back, then she had to leave him again for work. It’s just hard on a mother. Victor said Nikolas had helped him, and they know Nikolas gave him shelter, then Victor returned that favor. Ava says she got Windymere in the divorce, so maybe Victor is using this as a replacement, and Spencer says, in Chechnya? Ava says, a guarantee she won’t visit, and Laura tells them, Victor said, when the going gets tough, you need a home away from home. She’s wondering if this is where Nikolas has gone to hide.

Trina says, they’re still waiting, and Portia says she hopes it’s okay that she’s here. She can leave if… Trina says, she should stay. She’s sorry. She should have called Portia. Portia says, that’s okay. She was with Curtis when Trina called. Curtis says he moved his things back in tonight, and Trina asks if they’ve worked things out. Curtis says, one day at a time, when the nurse gives the results to Trina. Trina says she guesses it’s now or never.

Trina opens the envelope and reads. She tells them, it says that Curtis is her biological father, and Taggert says, it’s okay, a bunch of times, and hugs her. Trina says she wanted to know the truth, and now she does, but she wants to make one thing clear. She cares about Curtis, and she knows they have to figure out where they go from here. Whatever their relationship is, wherever it goes from here, she needs Curtis to know she’s not looking for a replacement father. And she hopes he can accept that.

Marshall says, Stella has raised Curtis to be loving and trusting, and have faith in his opinions, to hold himself and others to high standards. But she also raised him to be forgiving. As upset as he was with Portia, he still decided to move back in here to work on his marriage, and it was Portia’s secret Stella was holding. She also held Marshall’s secret. If Curtis can forgive him and Portia, he can definitely forgive her. Stella says, he really thinks so? and Marshall says, girl, I know so.

Alexis thanks Gregory for admitting he needs a friend. She needs a friend, and she’s glad they’re friends. He says, it’s mutual, and she promises to follow his lead regarding his illness, and hopes he’ll just let her be a part of it while he’s going through it. He says, deal, and she says, awesome. Thank you. I notice a piece of art that looks like toilet seat on Alexis’s bookcase, and she also thanks him for handling Esmegate. He says, it was nice to feel useful, and she says, he misses it. He says, of course (🍷) he does, and she says she was expecting a little pushback, but go on. He says he really liked volunteering here. It was exciting and gave him some purpose; he missed it… and her. She asks if she can make an observation, and he asks if his objection ever stopped her. She says she knows he wanted this job, but didn’t take it because he was sick, and if people knew he was sick, they’d think he wouldn’t be able to handle it. Tell her if she’s wrong.

Ava says, if Victor has Nikolas safely tucked away in Chechnya, why reveal it here? and Laura says, but if Nikolas was aware of the place already, maybe he went there without Victor knowing. Esme comes back, and says, Ace is sleeping safely with his blankie. Spencer excuses himself, and leaves. Laura asks Esme to sit down, but she says she’s been sitting all day, and it wasn’t exactly a good day to begin with. Whatever it is, please just tell her. Laura says, they might know where Nikolas is, and Esme asks if he’s in Port Charles. Laura says, no, but if this information is what she thinks it is, it’s possible Nikolas is holed up in some remote part of Chechnya. Ava says, or not. There’s no proof that Nikolas is there. Laura says, but it’s the best lead they’ve got. Maybe they can find him, and finally bring him home.

TJ says, Willow’s bone marrow transplant is complete, and Michael says, thank God. What are the next steps? TJ says, Willow will remain in the hospital to give the bone marrow cells time to create new cells in her body. The process can take some time. Michael asks, how long? and TJ says, every patient is unique. Sometimes as little as two weeks, on the other side, sometimes six or more. Once engraftment has occurred, Willow can go home, but they’ll want to track her recovery in case complications arise. Willow’s body is essentially rebuilding its immune system, so she’ll be highly susceptible to infection. They want to monitor that. Another possible major complication is graft versus host disease, which is when the patient’s body rejects the donated cells. Michael says, it’s a lot to take in, but TJ tells him, try not to worry. Willow’s getting excellent care, and they’re optimistic she’ll make a full recovery.

Anna asks how Willow is, and Sonny says, receiving her bone marrow transplant, thanks to her. Anna says she’s happy to hear that, and notices two serious guys in suits standing by the door. Sonny asks if she’s okay, and she says, probably not. Hursley comes in, and says, Agent Anna Devane? She asks how she can help him, and he shows her his badge, saying, she’s under arrest.

Ava tells Laura, even though things ended badly between them, she wants Nikolas back with his family, but Laura can’t go on some wild goose chase to Chechnya. It’s dangerous. Laura says she’s been in worse places, and Ava says, Nikolas has managed to vanish more than once before. He’d find someplace no one would think to look, not some old family property. She just doesn’t want Laura to set herself up to be disappointed, or shocked. Laura says she appreciates that, but she can’t just sit around here wondering. She has to see for herself. If there’s even a chance she could find Nikolas, she has to take it.

Spencer sits on his bed looking at the box. He opens it, and as I thought he says, the doves he was going to give to Trina. Uncle Victor saved them for him, but why? He lifts up the cotton they’re on, and finds a key.

Gregory says, it’s true he was afraid to take Alexis up on that editorial board position. He didn’t want anyone to find out he was sick. She says she didn’t tell anyone, and she’s not going to tell anyone, so they’re over that hurdle, and he says, and he wasn’t sure he was up to the job. She says, is he kidding? He just proved to her and the entire staff that he’s more than capable of getting in the thick of things. And more important, he proved it to himself. He asks if the position on the board is still open, and she says, funny he should ask. As luck would have it, she never got around to filling it.

Stella says, Curtis means everything to her, and Marshall thanks her for being there for his sons when he couldn’t be. She thanks him for stepping up when she wasn’t strong enough to face Curtis herself, and he says, that’s what family does. They help each other out. She says, when we’re at our best, and he says, and when we’re at our worst. That’s when we need the most help, right? She says, what she needs right now is some of his gumbo. He says, let’s partake, and asks her to say it. They join hands and she says, dear Lord, thank You for our family.

Curtis tells Trina that he understands, and he wants her to know the last thing he’d ever try to do is take her father’s place. He cares about her a lot, so from here on out, he’ll just take her lead. She says she appreciates that, and Taggert says, she could do worse than having two dads, especially one as good of a man as Curtis. He’s going to leave them to work this out. He leaves, holding back tears. When he gets in the elevator, he does that waving thing people do when they don’t want to cry, then punches the wall. He weeps, sinking to the floor.

Michael thanks TJ, who says he’s just happy to finally deliver some good news. Michael asks if he can see Willow, and TJ says, of course (🍷). If they need anything, he’s here. He leaves, and Carly says, full recovery. Michael says, they still have to be careful, and Carly says, they’ll follow all the guidelines. At the end, Willow is going to be okay, so whatever’s going on with Michael and Josslyn, just end it. Because nothing’s more important than being here as a family. Josslyn says, she’s absolutely right. They’re going to do what’s best for the family. Right, Michael? Michael looks at her, and leaves.

Anna asks what she’s being arrested for, but Hursley says he can’t tell her anything until they’re in a secure location. She says she has a right to know why she’s being arrested, or she’s not going with him until she finds out. He says he’s sure she clocked the agents in the room. She says she expects there’s more of them stationed around the hotel to prevent escape. She’s flattered. He says, it would be best if she came voluntarily, but if not, they can do this the hard way, and Sonny asks if she wants him to call Diane. Anna says she’s good, and tells Hursley that she looks forward to finding out what the truth is. He starts to read her rights, but she says she knows them, and he handcuffs her. She gets in the elevator with Hursley and the agents, and the elevator doors close.

Tomorrow, Dex isn’t sure Josslyn’s plan is going to work; Portia asks what made Curtis decide to stay; Valentin believes Laura has something that belongs to him; and Anna says she’s taking the Bureau down with her.

Vanderpump Rules – The Reunion – Part 2

Lala lambasts Sandoval, and James boos him. Sandoval says, he’s taking accountability, but Lala’s not, and Lala asks, what did she do? since his comment makes no sense. Lisa says, sometimes Lala is aggressive, and James tells Lisa not to stick up for Sandoval. Lisa says she’s not, and James gets up and walks out. He says he’s not listening to this sh*t. Just f***ing die. Sandoval calls Lala a narcissist, and she says, he has an ago the size of this building. They call each other morons, and Sandoval says, Lala pulled her IUD the second she found out Stassi was pregnant. I don’t know if I totally missed what led to that, but I don’t think so. I think Sandoval is just yelling about random stuff. James comes back, and apologizes to Lisa and Andy, who asks him to just stay in his f***ing chair. Because we all need a break, Andy says he’s switching gears. Lala said she and Randall were splitting at last year’s Reunion. He asks when they last spoke face to face, and Lala says, never. The other day, he brought Ocean up the driveway because the nanny was sick, and Lala just grabbed her quickly. Andy asks if it was by design that Ocean wasn’t on this season, and Lala says, Randall sent a legal letter, saying she’s not allowed on camera. Not even pictures or videos. Andy introduces the LA Times article about Randall, citing his casting couch, drugs, and a ton of lawsuits. He says, Randall’s spokesperson denied the allegations, and Lala points out that Randall’s spokesperson was also Harvey Weinstein’s spokesperson. Andy asks if she was shocked, and she says, yes and no. Her DMs had been flooded with disturbing allegations, then the LA Times article came out. Andy asks if Lala didn’t meet him at an audition, but she says, she met him when she was a hostess at SUR. He sent his assistant to speak with her. He was a fan of the show, and asked if she had a manager. She went for an audition, and surprise, she got the part. Andy asks if that’s when they started sleeping together, and Lala says, it was September of 2015. Lisa reminds Lala that she said she let him hit it the first night, and we flash back to Lala saying that, and saying she got a car the next day. Lala says, it was the first time they went out, and Andy asks if she felt like she had to, but she says she didn’t. She was from Utah, and didn’t realize Hollywood worked that way. James says, Sandoval slept with Kristen to get on a TV show. He’s 40, and still making the same mistakes. Lala says, she has a different view of life now; if it’s too good to be true, it is. Andy says, sobriety will do that, and asks how long she’s been sober. She says, almost four years, and they break to eat. Everyone leaves, but Schwartz stays behind and does push-ups. Okay… Sandoval goes to Raquel’s trailer, and they hug, since they’re still not kissing on camera. She asks how he’s doing, and he says, it’s rough out there. It got emotional right off the bat, and James is literally how he knew James would be. James is focused on everything he does; Look at him blinking. James is out of control, Scheana is groveling to Katie because she wants to be back in the group, and Lala doesn’t give a flying about either of them. Raquel says she saw everything, and Sandoval says, they’re making them out to be pathological liars. Raquel says, they haven’t lied about anything except the affair. In the makeshift cafeteria, James says, they can go live in a yurt in the desert together now, and Lala says, Sandoval is going to be off doing things like he always has. Ariana says, and when the homewrecker makes demands on the relationship, she’s not going to be so cool and chill. Raquel clearly only knows what Sandoval is telling her.

In the trailer, Raquel says, in watching what was taped, it looked like Sandoval and Ariana had a solid relationship. We flash back to Scheana saying, they were intimate and in a good place. Sandoval shakes his head, and says, it literally went from him asking Ariana something simple like, should he wear these pants? and her saying no; to her literally (apparently his favorite word of the moment) saying, he’s so good at fashion, he should wear what he wants. Raquel says, it felt like he wanted to keep working at his and Ariana’s relationship because they never broke up. Sandoval says, he should have done it earlier, and Raquel says, you think? He says, Ariana is going to unleash on her, but he’s glad she came. Raquel says her entire character is being questioned. She went through a transitional phase, and the pendulum swang [sic] too far the other way. This is her wakeup call. He says he believes in her, she says she knows, and Sandoval tells a producer that they need a real break where they’re not being filmed. Raquel says, that would be nice, and they both go outside. The producer says, the cameras are up when any two people are together. If anyone needs time to themselves, they can have it, but not if they’re together. Sandoval argues like an idiot, and the producer says, it’s part of what it is. Sandoval whines, legally, they should get a break, and the producer says, they can have a break, but they’re filming lunch. Big baby Sandoval says he’s going to call a Lyft; he needs a break from filming. The producer tells him to go eat lunch, and Sandoval practically stamps his foot, and says, stop filming. He doesn’t want camera in his face. He wants to talk to Raquel off-camera. He doesn’t feel relaxed, and they have to watch what they say. He’s in a delicate position.

Ally joins the group, and Sandoval checks his hair. Andy welcomes Ally, and asks about meeting James at his show with Sandoval and the Most Extras. He asks if she saw Vanderpump Rules before meeting him, and she says she went down the Bravo rabbit hole during covid. Andy asks if anything from James’s past bothered her, and she says, for sure, but meeting him was different. It gave him a chance to show her who he is. Andy says, Raquel had broken their engagement only six weeks before James met Ally. Did he really think it was long enough to get over a five year relationship? James says, everyone is different, and Ally says, they’d planned to take it slow, and had a lot of conversations. Andy says, Raquel revealed some awful things James said about her parents, and we flash back to that. James says, it’s not a proud moment, and he takes it back. Andy ask how it made Ally feel, and she says she didn’t like it. She doesn’t think the word fat should ever be used to insult someone. James says, Raquel’s parents said nasty things to him. Her mom talked about his penis size. Andy asks if it was in a favorable way, and he says, she was asking if he was circumcised and wondered what it looked like. Grandma Buttons was at the bloody table. Andy says, James was easily triggered by Raquel this season, and we flash back to James throwing the drink at Schwartz. Andy asks if Ally ever thought James wasn’t over Raquel, but she says, not once. He was triggered because he felt betrayal in losing a friend. Andy asks if she worries about James’s drinking becoming an issue, but she says, not at the moment. She doesn’t like it when he’s drinking a lot, but she’s not drinking as much right now, and neither is he. Andy asks why she’s not drinking, and she says she thought she needed a break, which she does sometimes. James says he’d never go back to the boy he was two and a half years ago, and Sandoval says, they had an ongoing job in Atlantic City, and they brought James in. He became belligerently drunk with no shirt on, and got kicked out. The manager said James had smacked a waitress on the ass, and he’d had her sign a form that she wouldn’t sue them. James lost them the job. James says, the Toms show up and get drunk. His DJ business makes tenfold what they do. Lala says, it’s a sensitive topic, but at the end of the day, both Toms drink heavily, and have no say on James’s drinking. Sandoval says, he doesn’t smack girls on the ass, and Ariana says, no, he f***ed her friend. James calls Sandoval, a mustache pr*ck p*ssy ass bitch; a f***ing mustache worm bitch. He walks off. Again.

A producer says, as you were, and Andy says, Ally told James that he needed a therapist; why? She says she thinks everyone should see a therapist, especially men, and especially James. James says he met a nice therapist, and it’s going good. Andy asks if they’re helping with James’s anger, because it doesn’t look like it, and Ariana says, there are extenuating circumstances today. Andy says, they spent a week in Cancun celebrating Scheana’s wedding, but Scheana revealed she and Brock were already married for over a year. Why did they keep it a secret? Scheana says, they wanted to celebrate their love privately, and she’d wanted to get it going because of the green card. They only married for them. Andy says, Katie said Schwartz wanted to be friends with Brock over her, and she says, he was prioritizing someone he sees three times a year over her. Schwartz has known Scheana a long time, but she didn’t feel Schwartz was close enough to Brock to consider his feelings over hers. Schwartz says, Katie has a long history of diminishing his friendships, and Katie says, Schwartz wants to be friends with everyone. He’s a serial killer’s wet dream, since he makes friends with strangers. Andy says, Lala pulled Ally aside, and talked to her about dealing with James’s temper. We flash back to that, and Andy asks Ally if she ever felt like telling Lala and Raquel to stay out of her relationship. Ally thinks at the time she was open to hear what they had to say, and looking back, it feels like they  were being protective. Lala says she was triggered (WOTD), and she didn’t want what happened to her to happen to someone else. Lisa says she’s loving Lala’s emotional side. She doesn’t want to see Lala’s angry side. Lala says, life was a lot this summer, and she was hypersensitive. She felt like an idiot and a fool, and wanted to baby Ally. James says he knows how much Lala has gone through, and how strong she is. As a woman, she’s conquered a company and a baby, and dealt with a lot of sh*t. She knows he’s not that guy at the Canyon Club. Andy asks, what happened at the Canyon Club? and we flash back to Raquel telling some of the others that James was arguing so loud with Ally, security had to escort him out. James says, the club was noisy and he was tired, and he shouted to Ally that he wanted to go f***ing now. Security was immediately there, and said he couldn’t be shouting. Ally says, they weren’t in a screaming match. No one saw it, and she doesn’t know why Raquel feels the need to narrate. Sandoval says, they’d been arguing, and James grabbed Ally’s arm or wrist. It was the second time, and he got kicked out. James says, the first time, he was with all of them. What was Sandoval doing? Making out with Raquel in the back? Andy thanks Ally for joining them, and she leaves.

Andy says, they’re going to discuss the fallout from Sandoval and Raquel’s affair, and they’re bringing Raquel in. Because of the restraining order, Scheana has to leave, but before they go, he wonders what’s the latest? Scheana says, the court date is the 29th. Raquel claims Scheana punched her, and she can’t speak about it now. Andy asks if anyone else thinks Scheana punched her, and Lisa says, maybe slapped her, but Katie says, look at Scheana’s fingernails; not possible. Andy asks Sandoval what he thinks, and he sighs heavily, says he wasn’t there, and sighs again. Lisa asks why it’s so difficult, and he says he’s between a rock and a hard place. Ariana says, then he should keep his mouth shut, but Tom says he wants to tell the truth. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Good one! He says he was there when Scheana was on speaker, but Ariana says, he ran back into TomTom, and Scheana said pushed, not punched, but Sandoval tells her, Scheana said she punched that bitch in the face. It’s 100% what Scheana said. Lala says, they talked on the phone, and it’s not what Scheana said. Sandoval says he f***ing heard it, and Scheana tells him to keep his f***ing mouth shut. Andy says, Scheana and Raquel were close until the truth came out. They were on Watch What Happens Live together the night Scheana found out. He asks if she thinks they’ll ever be friends again, but Scheana says, never. Andy asks if she knew something was going on with Raquel and Sandoval; she’d said she was suspicious. Scheana says, she heard things Lala said, and what Katie had seen, and started to suspect. She had lunch with Ariana, and they discussed it, but Ariana didn’t think there was any truth to it, and said they’d never do that to her. Ariana says, Scheana came to her respectfully about it, and she appreciated it. She knew Scheana wouldn’t come to her about it lightly because she cared about the two of them. Andy says, Scheana had heard Sandoval told Raquel that he and Ariana were in an open relationship, and we’re shown unseen footage where Scheana is telling Ariana, while she was sleeping, Sandoval and Raquel were in the hot tub. He told Raquel that he and Ariana were in an open relationship, and started coming on to her at Coachella. Sandoval protests that he never said that, and Ariana says, maybe he should stop hanging out with a liar. She brings up Sandoval coaching Raquel like he tried to coach her, and Sandoval says, if anything, Ariana coached him. Ariana says, he needed it. Andy says, Raquel had something for Scheana that she’s not allowed to give her in person, so he has it.  

In his personal interview with Raquel, Andy says, she and Scheana have to stay 100 yards apart, so they won’t be interacting. He asks how Raquel feels, and she says she feels regret about filing the restraining order. She’s taking measures to get it dropped. She spoke to her lawyer, and he’s filing a request to dismiss it. She shows Andy the paperwork, and says, the request for dismissal is being filed today. Back at the Reunion, Andy says, Raquel is in the process of dropping the restraining order, and everyone applauds. Ariana says she’d rather Rachel didn’t; none of them need to be around her. Lala says she’s glad for Scheana’s sake, even though she wanted to fight. The court system is a bitch, and she’s glad Scheana can be present with her kid. She cries and says, it’s taken a toll on Scheana. Sandoval – who should just stay quiet – says he gets it. Scheana says, having this betrayal of two best friends is heartbreaking in itself, but to throw this on top of it, when she did nothing but take care of Raquel. She gave Raquel a home when she had nowhere to go. Raquel was the sister she never had, and for Raquel to do this, it’s taken a toll on her. She cries, and Bambi Raquel looks blankly at the screen in her trailer. Scheana says she hasn’t been completely present for her daughters, and they’ve been affected by her emotions about it. Raquel was someone who she loved, and she knew would never do something like that. She’d told Raquel, please don’t do anything to change the friendship, and Raquel promised she’d never do that. Andy reminds Scheana that she’d said she trusted Raquel in bed with her husband when they were in Vegas. We flash back to that, and Scheana says, Raquel crashed with them one night in Vegas, although she slept in the middle. She trusted Raquel with everything. At this point, even I start to cry. I can’t even fathom how I’d feel to find out a close friend had been lying to me this way, and for so long. Sandoval mumbles that he’s sorry, and in her trailer, Raquel says she’s thinking she should have written a personal note to Scheana to go with the paperwork. More regrets are unfolding. Sandoval says, he lied about something for 7 months, and it spiraled out of control, but that doesn’t mean he’s been fake all the years Ariana’s known him. It wasn’t malicious. Ariana tells him to watch what he says; it was malicious. He says, the intention wasn’t malicious, and Ariana says, he’s done it before. He says she’s always been unapologetic throughout their relationship, and she says she heard him say he didn’t care about Scheana. Scheana says, she asked him about the affair and he denied it. She would have been doing Ariana a disservice if she hadn’t asked. Lisa says, Sandoval would never tell Scheana before telling Ariana, and Andy says, it’s time for Scheana to go the appropriate distance so Raquel can come out. Sandoval says he needs to leave for a moment, and Scheana says, before she goes, she has something for Andy. Ten years ago, at the Season 2 Reunion, he said, by 2023 she’d have an album. We flash back to that, and she gives him a 12-inch gold press of Good As Gold. She says she’ll be back at the end, and leaves. Sandoval wanders around the parking lot.

During the break, I download Good As Gold to one of my playlists because, why not?  

Andy wants Raquel to sit between the Toms, but it’s a hard no, including from Ariana. In their personal interview, Andy asks Raquel how she feels about seeing the group, and she says, a little nervous. But it’s important for her to take accountability for her actions, so she’s here to do that. He asks her to explain how the relationship started; the first kiss or spark of emotion. Raquel says she and Sandoval had been friends for a while. He was always somebody who was in her corner and rooted for her. It got more romantic after the girls trip. He made her feel heard and seen, and she’d never felt that before. We flash back to her crashing guys night, and his smile is glaringly obvious when she walks in. Like, you don’t smile like that for just anybody. Andy asks if she never felt that with James, and she says, never with anyone. Andy asks if she thought there would be a path forward with Ariana, and she says she thinks she was living in her own reality, hoping it would work out. Andy says, it’s incredible how many signs Ariana ignored, like The Abbey, and Sandoval not coming back from the barbecue. Ariana rode for Raquel every time. Sandoval said he felt like Ariana didn’t want to know. Is that what they told themselves? Were they in denial? Raquel says, it seemed that way. Ariana never pressed or confronted Sandoval. From what he told her, Ariana didn’t question him, and believed what he told her. Andy says, it sounds like she’s blaming Ariana, and she says, at the time, that was her mindset. Now she knows that Ariana did want to know. It was deceitful, and she’s ashamed. Andy says, Ariana called Raquel and confronted her. What was the conversation like? Raquel says she felt pain from Ariana, and Ariana begged Raquel to tell her when it happened. At this point, she and Sandoval just wanted to get their story straight. Sandoval felt Ariana would be more hurt if she knew how long it had been going on, and Andy asks if they were going to truncate how long it had been going on. Raquel says, yes, and I’m surprised she knows what truncate means. Andy says, Ariana wanted specifics on the phone? and Raquel says she told Ariana the truth, and Ariana thanked her and said, Sandoval never would have told her the truth. Andy asks if she and Sandoval prepped for the Reunion, and Raquel says, they’ve talked about how to approach things. He asks how she feels about seeing everyone in a group setting, and Raquel says she’s preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best. Spoken like a true beauty queen. He asks how she feels about seeing Ariana, and she says, scared.

Andy says, Raquel is here and ready to join them. Scheana is 100 yards away. We see Scheana in her trailer, watching, and Andy says, Ariana hasn’t seen Raquel since she found out. How is she feeling? Ariana says, not great, and he asks how Sandoval is feeling, but Sandoval says he doesn’t know. Raquel walks to the set accompanied by some weird music, and Schwartz takes out a bottle of Xanax. Ariana says, it’s funny that Schwartz is taking it, and James wonders why he has a pill bottle on hand. Andy steals the bottle, and someone suggests he pass it around, but he gives it back to Schwartz. Schwartz says he only takes it about once a month, and Lisa asks why he’s taking it now. He says he’s nervous, and Raquel hits the stage. Ariana won’t even look at her, and Sandoval stares straight ahead. Crickets are heard, and Sandoval hangs his head.

Next time – Part 3 – Ariana says she cried in Raquel’s arms, and Raquel thought she’d go f*** her boyfriend; Raquel compares her and Sandoval’s affair with Lala sleeping with James, causing some uproar; Katie says, Raquel’s a c-word and Sandoval’s a drunk; James thinks Raquel flirting with Schwartz is incesty, dirty and weird; Sandoval cries, and says he’ll always love Ariana; and Ariana says she can’t think of two worse people.

🍨 Eating My Feelings…

After you’ve recovered from these awful people, come back tomorrow for a kinder, gentler soap and tea. Until then, stay safe, stay pushing in your chair when you leave the table, and stay knowing the difference between inserting yourself in someone’s life when you’re not wanted, and simply reaching out to let them know you’re thinking about them.

May 30, 2023 – Victor Makes His Bequests, Awful NJ Housewives Say Awful Things About Each Other & Girls

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Spencer talks to Ace, after picking him up early from daycare, when Laura walks in. He tells Ace that the most important thing to remember is, this is his home. And if Spencer has anything to say about it, it always will be. Laura laughs, saying, they’re cute together. She wants to remind Spencer that they’re guests are arriving soon. Spencer says, for Uncle Victor’s will reading. Ace doesn’t need to hear anything about Uncle Victor. Being abducted and taken on the Haunted Star is enough to last him a lifetime. Fortunately, he’s not going to remember any of that. Spencer’s phone rings, and he sees it’s Trina. Laura takes Ace, telling Spencer that she’ll put him down so he can take his phone call, and leaves. He tells Trina that he was just about to call her, and she says she beat him to it because she misses him. He says he misses her more, and she says she hasn’t interrupted the reading of his Great Uncle’s will, has she? and he says, if only. Any news about her DNA test results? She says, not yet, and he says, it’s funny how your life can change in an instant. She says, doesn’t she know it. She’ll talk to him soon. She looks at the photo of her and Portia from the wedding.

Looking at the same photo, Portia says, if only they were still this happy, when Marshall comes in. He says he needs a consultation, and holds out a spoon for her to taste something. He asks what she thinks, and she says, it’s perfect. Don’t touch it. Where did he learn to make gumbo that good? He says, that’s one of the benefits of being a musician in New Orleans. When you give them the blues, they’re going to give you cooking lessons. He picks up her phone, and says, that was a happy day, wasn’t it? She says, it was until it wasn’t. She’s still waiting for her happy ending. Curtis walks in.

Drew leaves a message for Carly, letting her know he was thinking about her. He wishes he could be with her right now, but he knows the best thing is for him to stick with their plan, and find some way to pressure Ned to get the government to drop the charges against them. He’s on it, and he’ll speak with her soon. Please let him know if there are any updates on Willow. Sam brings Scout in, and Drew picks her up. Sam says, once she told Scout there was a sleepover at daddy’s, there was no stopping her. Is he sure it’s a good night? Scout says, of course (🍷) it is. Right, dad? Drew says, every night with her is a good night, and he’ll never take one for granted.

Diane sees Robert at the MetroCourt, and he says he was just thinking about her. She flashes back to asking if Sonny thinks the Feds are trying to get to him through Carly, and Sonny asking her to find out why the Feds got involved. She says she’s exhausted her sources, but Sonny says, what about the DA? She tells Robert that she was just thinking about him as well.

Olivia tells Nina, it’s not fair. The Feds can’t use Carly against her own husband. Nina says, ex-husband, and Olivia says, that’s even worse; she’s not protected by spousal privilege. She’s sure the Feds think Carly has all kinds of incriminating information about Sonny, and they would be right. There’s got to be a way to keep Sonny from taking the fall. Nina looks over at Robert and Diane, and says she hopes Olivia’s right.

At the hospital, Sonny asks Michael how Willow is, and Michael says, she just started the procedure. Carly says, the bone marrow transplant’s going to work, and Willow is going to be with them a very long time. Josslyn says, they were outside her room a few minutes ago, and Willow’s being very brave, and Sonny says, Willow’s going to need a lot of support. He thinks they should put everything aside and stick together for Willow’s sake. Do they all agree on that? Michael says, they can. What matters right now is Willow. Speaking of which, he’s going to see how the procedure is progressing. He leaves, and Sonny wonders if they’ll get word on Willow soon, but Carly says, probably not. Josslyn’s phone dings, and she tells Carly that Trina just texted her. She’s downstairs. Carly tells her to go, and Josslyn leaves. Sonny says, they couldn’t get away from him soon enough.

Nina tells Olivia, if the rumors are true, and Sonny is who the government really wants, then Carly is just a means to an end. Olivia says she feels terrible for arguing with Carly about this. If they hadn’t, they could have put their heads together, and figured a way out of this whole insider trading mess. Nina says, it must be painful to hear that Olivia’s friend and ex-business partner thinks she’s fooling herself about her husband, and Olivia says, maybe she overshared a little bit about that. Carly understands her loyalty is to Ned, but she can’t figure it out. She’s convinced he’s the one who blew the whistle on her and Drew. Nina says, Carly is always convinced of Carly’s point of view, like there isn’t the possibility of another… She’s sorry. She knows Carly and Olivia are friends, and she respects that. And she agrees with Olivia. Despite their divorce – Olivia says, and despite the big rock on Nina’s finger – Carly cares for her kids and cares about Sonny. She’s never going to send him to prison. On the other hand, Nina does believe someone’s going to go down for this, and if it’s not Sonny… Olivia says, it won’t be Sonny, and Nina says, that means it’s either Carly or Drew, and Olivia is really good friends with both of them. Does she think there’s a chance one of them might turn on the other to save themselves?

Drew asks what Scout has, and she says, it’s her workbook from school. Sam thinks that’s her subtle way of saying she hopes daddy helps her with her homework, and Drew asks if Scout can believe there’s only a few more weeks until summer vacation. He heard the MetroCourt pool is opening soon, and they can start working on her swimming strokes. Sam says, she already swims like a seal. She thinks Scout gets it from Drew. Scout says she’s a mermaid, not a seal, and Sam says, sorry. Drew says, on that note, mermaids love music, right? He opens a box, revealing a harmonica, and says, this was her brother Oscar’s. Sam says, Oscar sure did love music, didn’t he? and Drew says he thinks Oscar would have loved for Scout to have it. Sam asks what Scout thinks about that, and Scout tells Drew that she loves him, and they hug.

Marshall says he’ll take Curtis’s bag upstairs, and Curtis asks him to put it in the guest room. Marshall says, to celebrate Curtis’s homecoming, he whipped up his famous Gumbo Ya-Ya, and Curtis says he loves it. When do we eat? Marshall says, not we, you. He’s just the cook. It’s a meal for two. He goes upstairs, and Portia says, welcome home.

Josslyn and Trina both say, any news? and Josslyn says, they just started the transplant. It’s a lot like a blood transfusion, so Willow is going to get Dr. Obrecht’s bone marrow, and that takes as long as it takes. They just have to wait and pray the new marrow starts producing healthy cells. Trina hugs Josslyn, and says, her little problem hardly seems to matter when Willow’s life being at stake, but Josslyn says, of course (🍷) it matters. Trina’s life could change with these DNA results. Trina says she’s not going to let it. Taggert is always going to be her dad, and Curtis is always going to be Curtis, a man she’s grown to love and respect. Josslyn asks, what about her mom? and Trina says, her mom is always going to be her mom, even if she never trusts her the same way again. Josslyn says she thought they patched things up, and Trina asks if Josslyn has ever tried to fix a flat tire with a patch. It’s not a permanent fix. Josslyn asks, when was the last time Trina changed a tire? and Trina admits she’s never had to change a tire, but she could if she had to. Josslyn says she’s sure Trina could. After everything she did in Greenland, she could do anything. Trina says, Josslyn could too, which is why they make the best roommates, and Josslyn says she knows, but they only have two more days in the dorm. Trina says, now she has to find a place to stay for the summer. Any suggestions? Josslyn says, she doesn’t want to move back home?

Laura asks, how’s Trina? and Spencer wonders if she was eavesdropping, but she says she didn’t have to. She could tell by the smile on his face. He says he smiles when other people call him too, but she says, not the same smile. There’s a knock at the door, and Laura opens it to Ava and Alexis, who says she’s been dreading this ordeal since she got the invitation. She hugs Spencer, and Ava says she wouldn’t miss it for the world. Spencer asks if she expects to inherit something, and Ava says she doesn’t care about any bequests, but after the hell that man put her through, she can’t hear often enough that Victor Cassadine is truly and most sincerely dead. Laura lets a man in, and tells him that she’s Laura Collins. Spencer says, Mayor Collins, and he is? He says, JB Brown, Esquire, from Brown, Brown, and Whitlock. He was Victor’s attorney and executor of his estate. They may have seen his letterhead on the invitation regarding this meeting.

Sonny tells Carly that she can go. He’ll stay until there’s word about Willow. He sits down, and she says she can stay, sitting next to him. He asks if she’s heard from the SEC, but she says, not so far. She hasn’t heard from the Justice Department either. He says he thinks she’s going to hear from them real soon.

Laura thanks JB for agreeing to do the reading at her apartment. It saved all of them a trip to his office. He says, happy to accommodate. Mr. Cassadine didn’t stipulate where he wanted his will read, only the parties he wanted in attendance. There’s a knock at the door, and Laura lets Martin in. He hugs her, and says he’s sorry he’s late. There was a minor crisis at the… He sees JB and says, well, look at this. He should have known JB would be here. They shake hands, and Laura says, they know each other? Martin says, this man’s a legend in his own time. He graduated Princeton, Oxford, and yale law school. Ava says, that’s Victor’s lawyer all right. Only the best for the absolute worst. Alexis asks what Martin is doing here, and Martin says, since his client Valentin Cassadine couldn’t make it, he asked Martin to stand proxy in his stead. Laura asks if he’s Anna’s proxy too, but Martin says, no. Anna’s on her way; she may be running late. JB says his schedule is running tight, and he doesn’t have time to wait for Miss Devane’s arrival. Laura says she can fill Anna in, and suggests they all make themselves comfortable so they can get started. They all sit down, and JB says, shall we begin? He opens the case he has with him.

Trina wonders why they can’t live in the dorms in the summer, and Josslyn asks if it would be so bad for Trina to move back home. Trina says she doesn’t know. Things are a little better with her mom, but she doesn’t know if she’s ready to be part of the family with the DNA results hanging over their heads. Josslyn says she has another option.

Curtis asks how Trina is, and Portia says, she’s good. The spring semester is ending soon, and so far she hasn’t made any plans to come home. He says, maybe when the DNA results come in, and she says she doesn’t know about that. Depending on the results, it may be harder for Trina to think of this as her home. He says he came home, didn’t he?

Robert guesses Diane heard the news, and Diane says, of course (🍷). He says he’s sorry she got it secondhand. He wanted to give it to her in person. She says she doesn’t understand. Why was it up to him to tell her? He says his complicated life just became a little less complicated, and she asks what he’s talking about. He says, Holly’s left town. What is she talking about?

Olivia tells Nina that she doesn’t believe Carly and Drew would ever turn on each other. Drew just risked everything to bring Nina’s Aunt Liesl back to save Willow’s life. The whole time he was gone, Carly couldn’t stand the suspense in not knowing if he was safe or not. Those two are completely in love. Nina says, but if the rumors are true… and Olivia says, maybe the rumors are just that – they’re rumors. Nina says, there’s only one way to find out, and looks over at Robert and Diane.

Carly tells Sonny, they can’t be sure the Feds are going to offer her a deal for evidence against him. Not that she would take it if they did. He says he told her before that he appreciates it, but he’s not going to let Donna grow up with a mother behind bars. Carly says she thinks they’re worrying about nothing. No one from the Justice Department has approached her. He says, yet. He had Diane work Robert Scorpio. He has contacts in DC, so if the Feds make an offer, he’s going to know about it. She says, that puts Diane in an awkward position, but he says, for what he pays her, Diane can be in an awkward position, especially when it comes to Carly. She’s way too important. Carly thanks him, and says she appreciates that. Nosy Michael comes back, and says, thank you for what?

Carly asks, how’s Willow? and Michael says, the transplant’s still in progress, but so far, so good. Again, what was she thanking Sonny for? Instead of telling him to mind his own damn business, Carly says, Michael has so much on his plate right now. He doesn’t need to worry about his parents. Michael says, so in other words, there is something to worry about? and Sonny says he wants to talk to Michael about something. He wants Michael to hear it in person and from him. He and Nina just got engaged to be married.

Nina says, Olivia and Robert are friends, right? and Olivia says, yeah, but she’d never… Nina says, impose on that friendship. She totally gets it, but Robert is the DA. If anyone knows what the US Attorney is doing, it’s Robert. Olivia asks why Robert would tell her, and Nina says, her husband’s reputation and her marriage are suffering because of these backdoor deals going around. No one knows what’s really true. She thinks Olivia would be doing everyone a service if she went over there, found out what’s going on, and cleared the air.

Diane tells Robert, never mind what she was talking about. Why would Holly leave town? He says, her son’s in trouble, so she’s gone to the rescue, and Diane says, good for her. She’s assuming when all that’s over, Holly will come back to Port Charles. He says he doesn’t think he’s a factor in that decision, and she says she’s sorry, but he says, don’t be. Olivia comes over to the table, and says, oh good; they’re talking shop. So Robert won’t mind telling her if it’s true. He says, if what’s true? and Diane says she’ll take a little powder room break, but Olivia says, it won’t be necessary. Diane is already involved in this. Diane says, involved in what? and Olivia says, the deal where Carly would give up Sonny.

Scout plays the harmonica, and Sam says, it’s such a nice day out. Why doesn’t she go out and play for the birds? Scout wonders if they’ll sing along with her, but Sam says she thinks there’s only one way to find out. Scout leaves, and Sam says she thinks Scout is probably going to sleep with the harmonica under her pillow. Drew says, it’s her harmonica now, so it’s up to her. It’s funny, isn’t it, how precious the little things can be. Sam says, he’s not going to lose her, but he says, if those insider trading charges stick… She asks if there’s any way to fix this, and he says, that depends on the whistleblower. Ned’s got the clout and contacts to make this whole thing go away. The less Sam knows the better. She asks if he’s kidding her. She can dig up leverage on Ned. It’s in her wheelhouse. All he has to do is ask.

Portia says, Curtis did come back home, and she’s beyond grateful. She hopes he’s here for good. Marshall comes out and says, the Ashford/Robinson party, right this way please. The doorbell rings, and Portia says, he doesn’t think that’s… Curtis says, maybe Trina thinks this is her home after all, but Marshall opens the door, and it’s Stella.

Josslyn says she doesn’t know why she didn’t think of it before; Trina can move in with her. There’s plenty of room. Trina asks if they shouldn’t ask her mom first, but Josslyn says, she’ll love the idea. Trina asks if she’s sure. What about Spencer? Josslyn says, what about him?

Alexis says she was thinking the worst was over, and she has nothing to worry about with this will reading. Then she remembered what a monster Victor was. Ava tells her, go ahead and worry. She’s going to enjoy this. JB says, it’s time to let his client speak for himself, and turns hits play on his laptop. Victor greets everyone, and welcomes them to the reading of his will. If they’re seeing this video, congratulations. They survived, and sadly, his attempt to make the world a better place has failed. Laura says, his warped view of the world, and Victor says, the shame is, they’re going to have to carry on for the rest of their lives in an overpopulated, under resourced planet. He pours himself a drink, and says, hopefully, his bequests will provide a little comfort to them as civilization continues to crumble around them. He raises his glass, takes a drink, and says, Ava, my dear. Until his nephew Nikolas returns, if ever, to rekindle their romance, he bequeaths to her a rendering of her first true love. JB pauses the video, and hands Ava a photo of a gargoyle statue. Ava says, maybe she can donate it and get a tax write-off, and JB starts the video again. Victor says, Alexis, my dear niece. He’ll never forget the kindness she extended to him, inviting him into her home for that Thanksgiving. This Matryoshka doll dates back to the Romanovs. JB hands her a Russian nesting doll, and Victor says, inside are smaller versions of itself, representing her daughters. Alexis says, this is actually nice, and Victor says, to one daughter in particular, Samantha, he bequeaths this deck of very rare tarot cards. JB hands Alexis the cards, and Victor says, who knows? Maybe one day she’ll use them to make herself lucky in love for once. Clearly, he doesn’t know how tarot cards work. Alexis says, and there it is; Victor, the monster. She tosses the deck on the table.

Trina says she knows Josslyn and Spencer aren’t as close as they used to be, but Josslyn says, he’s always welcome to come by and see Trina. He can even bring Ace, just as long as Esme’s not a part of the equation. Trina says, and what about Dex? and Josslyn says, what about him? Trina says, he and Spencer hate each other, and Josslyn knows it.

Marshall says, surprise, and Stella says she takes it TJ didn’t let anybody know she was back in town. Portia says, TJ does work extremely long hours at GH, and Stella says she knows TJ has a lot on his mind now. So she took it upon herself… She sees the bottle of wine in Marshall’s hand and says, is this a bad time? She’ll leave, and contact them later. Marshall says, she’s not going anywhere, is she, Curtis? Curtis says, Aunt Stella’s always welcome. Stella says, is she really? She wouldn’t blame either of them… Portia says, Curtis is right; she’s always welcome here. Marshall asks why they’re standing around like strangers then. He tells Stella that she looks great, and hugs her. Stella says she’s glad to see Portia and Curtis together, in spite of her.

Diane asks where Olivia heard there was a deal on the table involving Carly, and Olivia says she heard Carly can get out of the insider trading charges if she gives up Sonny. Diane asks Robert if there’s any truth to that, and he says, the two of them aren’t playing by the rules. Olivia says she cares because, A, Sonny is Dante’s father, and B, Carly’s her best friend, and C, her husband is the one suspected of blowing the whistle on Drew and Carly. And D, Diane, is Sonny’s attorney, so she assumes Diane is very interested in this too. So why doesn’t he stop stalling, and just answer the question? Diane says, let her make it easy for him. If he stays silent, that’s all the confirmation they need. He tells her, what he can say is… He gets up from the table and walks to the bar. Diane asks if Olivia’s got her answer, and Olivia walks off, passing Nina.

Michael says, their agreement still applies, and Sonny says, it’s always going to be Willow’s decision whether she wants Nina in her life and their children’s lives. His engagement doesn’t change that. Michael says he’s glad to hear it, and Sonny says he has to go make a call. He tells Michael to take care of his mother, and Michael says he always does. Sonny leaves, and Michael asks how Carly is doing. She says she happened to be at the MetroCourt last night when Nina couldn’t wait to announce they were toasting their engagement. Whoa. Wait. That’s not true. She didn’t announce anything; Trish asked her. And neither one of them knew Carly was even there. She says, and Sonny stopped by the house today so he could tell Donna, and Michael asks if that’s why she was thanking him; for being so upfront about it. Or is it something else?

Victor says, now, to other family members. To his darling granddaughter Charlotte, he bequeaths this necklace and pendant adorned with the Cassadine crest, in the hopes it will remind her of who she is, and who she will one day become. As for her father, the rotten apple of his eye Valentin Cassadine, to his son and all of those who have betrayed him, he makes this bequest. In this satchel, they’ll find a rare piece of antiquity. JB hands a velvet pouch to Martin, and Victor says, it was unearthed on Cassadine Island in Greece. It’s the last surviving piece of a once majestic statue of the sun god Apollo. Martin takes a stone middle finger out of the pouch, and I laugh my head off. That Victor; what a card. Victor says, whenever they look at it, he does hope they remember him. He raises his glass and drinks, and Laura laughs.

On the phone, Nina asks Sonny, how is she? and he says, the transplant’s still in progress. Everything seems to be going well. How is she holding up? She says she’s not going to lie and say she’s not worried. She’s just trying to stay positive and believe everything is going to get better.

Diane goes over to Robert at the bar, and says, hey sailor, buy a girl a drink? He says, the drinks are on her, and she says she deserves that. Just so he knows, she was only doing her job. He asks if Sonny is still paying her retainer, and she says, he is entitled to legal representation as well, or have they totally dropped the Sixth Amendment? He asks why she’s always got to be so right, and she says, because she is always right. Actually, she’s not; she takes that back. For instance, she thought he and Holly were meant for each other. He says, so did he.

Josslyn says, when Trina moves out of the dorms, move in with her; it’s just short term. Trina wonders if they ignore the fact their boyfriends can’t stand each other, and Josslyn asks why she’s so worried about them. Trina says, so Dex didn’t tell her? and Josslyn says, tell her what? Trina says, at the gym the other day, Spencer took a swing at Dex, and Josslyn says she saw Dex that day; he was fine. Trina saw him too. Trina says, Dex blocked the punch, and landed one of his own. Spencer’s lip is cut. Josslyn chuckles, and Trina says, she doesn’t seem overcome with concern. Josslyn says, to be fair, Spencer punched Dex first, remember? In Kelly’s, right before Christmas. And Dex didn’t even fight back. Spencer probably thought he wouldn’t, or couldn’t, but Dex knows how to defend himself, and it’s about time Spence realized that. Trina says she’d love to think Spencer learned his lesson, but most likely, he’ll keep on antagonizing Dex. He just can’t seem to help himself. Josslyn says, trust her. Dex has a lot more to worry about than getting along with Spencer. Trina asks what that means, and Josslyn says, he’s really busy, and working for Sonny isn’t exactly a low pressure job. She checks her phone, and says she has to get back to her family. She hugs Trina, saying, she loves her, and hopes she gets the test results back soon. Trina says she hopes Willow comes through with flying colors, and Josslyn thanks her, and says, her too. She leaves, and Trina’s phone dings. She looks at it, and looks worried.

Marshall says, it was a beautiful wedding, wasn’t it? and Portia says, it absolutely was. And Laura did a phenomenal job filling in for Stella. Stella says she’s sure Laura did. She only wishes… Portia says, she’s not the only one who wishes things had been done differently, and Marshall says, forget the table for two. He’s setting two more plates. There’s plenty of gumbo to go around. He goes to the kitchen, and Curtis tells Stella, might as well settle in. When he sets his mind, you’ve got two choices; give up or give in. Stella says she didn’t come all this way to give up, and neither should the two of them. Like she said to TJ, love is always worth fighting for.

Carly says she doesn’t want to add to Michael’s worries today of all days. Let’s just wait and make sure the bone marrow transplant works successfully… Michael says, just tell him why she’s grateful to Sonny, and she says, he came in on the tail end of that conversation. He says, fill him in on the rest, and she says, there’s a rumor that the Justice Department is going to offer her a deal. They’ll forget about the insider trading charges if she gives them evidence against his father.

Alexis says, darn. She has to go. Crisis. Too bad. Enjoy. Good luck, everyone. Martin says he thinks he’s done his part for his client, so he’ll be going. Unless of course (🍷) his sister needs him to stay. Laura says she’s just fine, and walks him out. Ava says, all that’s left is Spencer, and Laura sits back down. JB puts the video back on, and Victor says, as for Spencer, they’ve had many discussions about safeguarding his family. He may not be there in person to explain this to Spencer, but he trusts Spencer will know what to do with his bequest. Spencer looks at the small box in his hand, the one containing the silver dove he’d gotten for Trina.

Marshall says, dinner is ready, when Curtis’s phone rings. Curtis says, Trina, and she says she hopes she’s not interrupting, but he says, no; he’s at home with her mom. Is everything okay?… Okay. Bye. Portia asks, what is it? and Curtis says, it’s Trina. She’s at the hospital. Portia asks if she’s okay, but Curtis says, she’s fine. The DNA results are in.

Diane asks, what ultimately happened with Holly? and Robert says, life happened. What was it Diane said to her? She said, if we couldn’t make it work for all those years, why do we think we could make it work now? Diane says she’s sorry; she really is. Robert says, next time she wants to pump him for information, have her office call his office, and let’s put it on the books. He leaves.

Drew thanks Sam for offering to dig up dirt on Ned. It means a lot, but he really needs her to stay out of this one. Because if he goes to prison, Scout is going to need one of them to stick around. Olivia comes in with Scout, and says, look who she found giving a concert in the garden. Sam says she’s going to leave, and hugs Scout, saying, she’ll see Scout in the morning. She leaves, and Olivia tells Scout that she thinks there’s a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie in the kitchen with Scout’s name on it. Scout dashes off, and Drew says he thought Olivia had a meeting. Olivia says she did. Lucky for him, because that little girl is going to need her daddy. He says he and Sam were just talking about that, and she says, if he wants to stick around for Scout, she has some information he needs.

Nina asks if Sonny told Michael about their engagement, and he says, yeah. He wasn’t thrilled, but he wasn’t hostile, and now it looks like there’s a future for both of them. Maybe they can have hope that Willow will recover and find room in her heart for Nina.

Carly tells Michael, at this point, it’s only a rumor. Sonny has Diane looking into it to see if there’s any truth to it. He says, if there is, will she take it? but she says, he knows better. He says he’s watched her protect Sonny his whole life. Maybe she should think about protecting herself instead. Josslyn comes out of the elevator, and he says, if this government deal is legit, to give them Sonny and she goes free… Josslyn asks what she’s waiting for. Take the deal.

Tomorrow, Trina says, it’s now or never; Laura asks if Victor knows where her son is; and Nina says she’s going to do whatever it takes to be with the people she loves.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion – Part 1

Ugh. These people are like cartoons, and I try not to take this seriously, but it upsets me just knowing we breathe the same state air. Rachel needs to escape while there’s still time. And take Jen with her.

Just watching the preview makes my stomach turn.

The set is super cool. It’s an Irish castle theme, but the Victorian portraits on the walls are each of the women. I stan Teresa’s new haircut, and so does Andy. Those Summer House people need to take a page from the Jersey fashion book. Everyone looks stellar. Lots of sparkles and that sheer stuff that I love.

Juicy Joe calls and asks if Bill does bags under your eyes. His uncle is looking to get his eyes done. Teresa tells him that they’re taping the Reunion, and Andy takes the phone and chats with him. We find out he’s never watched the show.

Andy is also impressed by the outfits. Danielle says she was going for a not fresh out of the hamper look. Andy asks if Marge left her arsenal at home, and she says she did not. As none of us would. It’s a Reunion for Pete’s sake. Where better to bring your arsenal? Teresa insists Andy feel her heartbeat, which she says is real. She asks God to be with her; Namaste. Andy asks if Melissa or Teresa want to share their goal relating to each other. Teresa says she wishes Melissa well, peace, and wants to close the chapter. Melissa agrees with closing in peace, but thinks a lot of the truth needs to come out. Teresa says, the hardest thing was her family hurting them. Louie’s family was great, but hers hurt Louie. Melissa says she’s the one who was called a cheater, and Andy says they’re getting ahead before it’s time. He asks why Dina bowed out as a bridesmaid, and Teresa says, she didn’t want to be on camera. Andy says, she could have not signed a release, so Teresa flips to she didn’t want people to know she was there. She explained it to Teresa, and it was all good. Andy says, from their social media, it looks like Teresa and Louie hung out a lot with Dina and her man. Then it stopped. Teresa insists they’re okay, and Louie and Dave didn’t have business dealings. We flash back to Joe #2’s interview, where he said, it was Pizzagate part two. Melissa says, Joe was out of line for saying something on the show, and Andy tells them, a viewer has asked why Teresa didn’t invite Donna out of respect to her father. Wasn’t inviting in-laws the Italian thing to do? We flash back to Teresa saying, they have a history, and Teresa says she couldn’t invite Donna without inviting the rest of the family, and that was impossible. Melissa says, she and Joe were acceptable when Teresa needed to introduce Louie to the family. When she needs them, it’s all good between them. Teresa says, when she was alone, they never even asked her to go out to dinner, but Melissa says, they had dinner many times. She has pictures of Teresa and next door neighbor Shane, who Teresa thought was cute. Teresa is like, no way that ever happened, and we see the pictures. Teresa thinks she must have invited herself, since they never invited her anywhere. Seriously? Andy says he remembers when Teresa was dating Louie. The impression he got was that they were all hanging out, and they liked Louie. Teresa admits that her brother introduced her to Louie, and brought him on the show. She says, it’s all about the show and making money to Joe. Melissa says, Louie was the one who suggested Joe get him on the show. Just like he knew who Teresa was when they met. He’d wanted to go out with Alexia from Miami before he went out with her. Teresa says, these are lies, and it’s over between her and Melissa after tonight. She hints that if she’s not talking to Melissa, Melissa will be shown the door, and Melissa says she’s still got a couple of hours left. Teresa says, Melissa is out of her life after this night.

Everybody looks down, and Melissa says, says, it’s sad. Andy moves on to the hairstyle that broke the internet, and Teresa says, the higher the hair, the closer to God, like we haven’t heard that one already. Andy asks what Marge thought, and Marge says she cried. She thought Teresa was gorgeous, and when she walked out by herself, it was bittersweet. Then when Marge watched the finale, and knew what was going on behind her back… Teresa says she had nothing to do with it, and Marge says she was repulsed, disgusted, and shocked. She doesn’t care about Laura, but she does care about P.I.s. We already know Bo Dietl has distanced himself from this  whole thing, but we see flashbacks of Louie saying he has sh*t on everyone. Andy says this is too early to discuss too, and I wonder why he keeps leading them into topics he wants to discuss later. He says he’s switching gears, and going to Dolores. She turned into mush all thanks to her Irish love Paulie. He asks how Paulie changed Dolores, and Dolores says, her whole life she felt guarded, and he broke down walls she’d had up since she was young. All of the women say they noticed a difference, and a viewer has asked what Dolores loves so much about Paulie. Dolores says, that he’s willing to be such a part of her life, and we flash back to Paulie saying he’s got her. A viewer wonders if she misses Frank, and she says, the dynamics had to change. They’ll always be there for each other and be family, but Frank has had a life that was separate from hers. This part of her life doesn’t call for that kind of closeness. You can’t have two number ones. She tells Andy that David isn’t a part of their lives. She’s building a life together with Paulie, although Gabby and Frankie stay close to David, who still lives with Frank. Andy says, Dolores refused to move in with David without commitment, but moved in with Paulie without it. Dolores says, the intention with Paulie was different, and Andy asks how long Paulie’s been divorced. Dolores says, he’s not, but they’ve been separated for 14 years. Andy wonders why it never happened, and Dolores says she thinks there was never a call for it. Paulie hadn’t thought about getting married again, but he’s getting divorced now.

Before they reconvene, Andy says his son is wondering where his other daddy is. He needs to get another daddy. Teresa suggests her psychic, who’s only 100 bucks. Andy welcomes us back like we went somewhere, and asks Danielle about Valentina. Danielle says, Valentina has five boyfriends and is her now in a five year old’s body. Andy says, Danielle came onto the show a Staten Island bougie mama not afraid to speak her mind, but when it came to her brother, the others thought she wasn’t saying enough. We flash back to the brother stuff, and Andy passes tissues to Danielle. He asks how long since she and her brother have seen each other, and Danielle says, in August it will be 3 years, but she’ll be seeing him tomorrow at her grandmother’s wake. Everyone pretends to be sorry for her loss, and Andy asks if she’d tried reaching out to him. She says, they sent a gift for his new baby, but it was sent back. Ironically, RHONJ is his favorite show. Andy reads that a viewer thinks she’s obviously hiding something, and Danielle says, she’s been praying Marge has something in her arsenal about what she’s done wrong. Marge says she just wants them to be together, and Andy says, some of Marge’s comments in Ireland were below the belt. We flash back to Marge saying that, unless Danielle was willing to forgive and forget, she would always have problems in her family. Marge admits maybe it came out harsh, but it wasn’t meant that way. Teresa says she forgives and forgets, and when we all get over being stunned, Melissa says, she’s delusional. Marge says she was nothing but nice to Danielle, and Danielle flipped on her like a pancake. Andy says, Melissa defended Danielle in Ireland, but at Dolores’s party everything unraveled. Teresa says, Melissa wanted Danielle on her side for a storyline.

Danielle says, a lot of them have been mean girls, calling her a wannabe. They’re right, she wannabe nothing like them. Marge made fun of her all season. Marge says, Danielle had a great first season, and got a ton of endorsements. Even though the conversation has nothing to do with her, this prompts Jennifer to say she doesn’t need endorsements, and Andy doesn’t do endorsements. He’s never posting stuff. Andy says he does all the time, and loves his endorsements. Jennifer doesn’t bat an eye, even though she’s clearly wrong and obviously, she doesn’t read Andy’s social media. Marge says she was complimenting Danielle, and Andy says, Danielle came off tough, and it was surprising that she was so emotional, and left situations when it seemed like she was going to get in there. Danielle says Rachel shocked her. She thought they were friends. We flash back to Danielle telling Rachel that she was told Marge had an arsenal, and Rachel passing that back to Marge. Danielle says, Rachel made her look bad, and Rachel tells her, that’s what she said. Danielle tells her, Laura said it, and Andy says, it didn’t seem like that big a deal. Jennifer tries to put her two cents in, and Rachel says, no one asked her. Marge says, Rachel just repeated what Danielle said, and Dolores says, she was fueling the fire. Everyone accuses each other of bringing it up, and Rachel asks, where’s the accountability? Danielle says, if she was a bitch and an a-hole, she’d own it, and Rachel says, Danielle is a bitch and an a-hole to her. There’s a lot of screeching at each other, and Rachel tells Danielle, don’t take your insecurities out on me. Danielle says she has balls that drag out the door, and Rachel says she was shocked at how Danielle talked about her in the confessional; saying she was a bitch and on her high horse. Danielle says, the world sees it, and Andy says he loved seeing them together. He thinks this is the dumbest fight ever. He says, Dolores has known Rachel a long time, and Danielle is a new friend. How can they work it out? Dolores says, it’s so minute and stupid, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets. It’s not worth it. Rachel says she likes Danielle and thinks she’s a great mom. But she didn’t think the punishment fit the crime. It was like Danielle needed to double down and not apologize. Andy asks if Danielle can give a positive response, like he’s a middle school counselor, which seems about right. Danielle says, she looked at it like she and Rachel were joining these crazy ladies together, and thought they had a friendship. She was hurt by it, and hurt sometimes becomes anger, and it snowballed. Dolores suggests they make a pact that what’s said during a season stays there, and promise not to talk about it again. Andy tells Dolores, well done, and says, they’re leaving it there. I say, good luck with that. No argument ever dies with the Housewives.

Andy says, Melissa built a new home, and her life should have been going up, but a malicious rumor redefined what family meant. Andy asks if Rachel’s husband’s company tiled the floors, and Melissa says, they did. Rachel says, Melissa changed her mind 100 times, and Melissa admits she did, but John did an awesome job. Andy asks about Teresa moving from Melissa’s neighborhood, and Melissa says, Teresa bought a house two doors down from her original house. Andy says, a viewer asked why Teresa publicly shamed Antonia, and Teresa insists it was a set-up question, even though no one could have predicted the conversation. Rachel says, just because Teresa says it, doesn’t make it fact, and Melissa says she wasn’t even in the conversation. Andy says, Melissa and Joe have talked about Gia on podcasts, and Melissa says, Teresa’s daughters have hate for her. Everyone saw it on TV. We flash back to Gia and I don’t know which one barely acknowledging Melissa as she’s talking to them. Teresa says, her kids don’t have hate in their heart, and Melissa says, roll the tape. Teresa says she loves her niece, and Andy asks what Teresa’s reaction is to Melissa telling Antonia, whatever goes on, it has nothing to do with her and not to hold a grudge if she sees them upset. Teresa says, Melissa only did it because they were filming, and Melissa says, her kids have never said a word about Teresa. Teresa says, what about saying Melissa and Joe put food on their table? which wasn’t their kids, and we hear Melissa’s podcast when that was discussed. Melissa says, at one time, Teresa was cool with them, and then there’s some big commotion about Joe not being on a list, then being on a list, but I have no idea what they’re talking about, since they’re trying to outshout each other. Melissa says, they were good when Joe took Gia to college, but since Teresa got her man, now they’re pieces of sh*t.  

Andy says, a viewer pointed out that Jennifer was hanging on for dear life to that ballplayer comment Marge made about Joe #2, and we flash back to Jennifer interrogating Melissa about it. Melissa says she didn’t know whether to be flattered or upset. She calls Marge Dynasty because she says these things. She finds Marge funny, and tongue in cheek. Marge says, they call Melissa J.Lo, and that’s how the ballplayer thing happened. Jennifer says, Laura told her that Marge is constantly saying Melissa can do better, and Andy says, apparently Jennifer invited Laura to a party and posted pictures. We see those, and Jennifer asks why Marge didn’t want Laura on the show, but Marge says she tried to get Laura on the show. Andy agrees that she did, and Jennifer looks confused, and wonders why Laura told her different. Andy says, if Laura was trying to get on the show as Marge’s friend, and now as her enemy, the producers would definitely be interested. Teresa acts like Melissa somehow slithered her way onto Teresa’s coattails to get on the show, and says, it’s disgusting. Andy says he has no recollection of it being that way. Melissa was cute, and Joe was funny, and they had a double staircase like Teresa did, which he found amusing. Jennifer says, Teresa can’t get past it, and Teresa says, Melissa’s whole storyline was about her. Melissa says, Teresa’s storyline is talking about her brother every season. Teresa says she never wants to look at Melissa’s face again after what Jacqueline (Laurita) told her about Melissa and Joe. They’d been going out with Juicy Joe’s ex-partner, who outed Joe so he didn’t go to jail. Melissa says, they don’t even know him.  

Next time – The Reunion Part 2 – Teresa cleanses the bad energy; Rachel asks if Jennifer will ever stop talking, and Andy says, she’ll run out of gas eventually; Andy asks if Danielle felt set up; Jaiden’s birth mother has been speaking to blogs, and Rachel says, it’s because Louie contacted her; Marge says her child was threatened at work because of Louie; Teresa says, Marge is the devil; Marge says, Teresa is a criminal, and so is Louie; and Melissa says, Teresa’s got a new bitch boy.

🚿 Needing To Take a Shower…

If these awful women weren’t enough for you, come back tomorrow for soap and some VanderAwful with Part 2 of the Reunion heard round the world. Until then, stay safe, stay being all you can be, whether you’re in the Army or not, and stay remembering you can’t have two number ones.

May 29, 2023 – The Second Annual Big Jim’s Talent Show On Deck, Reuniting Awful Summer People & Remember

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Was a rerun today. But the pending summer begs the question, when is the MetroCourt pool opening?

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Colin tells Glenn, no oil and no exhaust from the engine, and Glenn says, great news. In Glenn’s interview, he says he’s happy they were able to solve the problem. The Parsifal III has been giving them a run for their money. He doesn’t think he’s every had this much engine trouble with guests onboard in his whole career, and he hopes it’s the last. Knock wood. He knocks on his head. Daisy shakes down Colin for what his talent is going to be, and in her interview, she wonders how the f*** she’s going to top last year’s talent show. We flash back to that, and she says she’s not sure what Jim is expecting, but she’s a talentless person. She tells Colin, according to everyone, he can do it all. Alex has slept through the sailing and the heeling, and when he gets up, Gary says, he needs a word with him. Gary tells Colin that he doesn’t know what’s happening at night. The first day, he told Alex to leave the boat the way he’d want the boat left to him. Nothing is rinsed. Daisy teaches the stews to Irish dance, and in Daisy’s interview, she says, she wasn’t good at Irish dancing when she was 12, and she’s sure not now, but she’s a team player. Guest Marnie goes out on the eFoil, and Glenn asks what Gary is doing for talent. Gary says, nothing, and Glenn says, he does that all day long. In Chase’s interview, he says, the situation with Alex is a tough one. It’s frustrating that Gary doesn’t want him talk with Alex;  it makes him look like a tattletale. That’s not his intention. Daisy gets some provisions for the talent show, like a keyboard, and Gary meets Alex on deck. He tells Alex, the boat looks like sh*t, but Alex says he spent 6 hours on it. Gary says, it’s mainly the anchor pocket, and Alex says he forgot that. Gary tells him that Glenn commented on the flybridge. He thinks it’s unfair on Chase, even though he knows that’s not Alex’s intention. Chase is claiming he’s lazy, but Gary told him that he didn’t think that was it. We flash back, and Chase said nothing of the kind. He asked if he could speak to Alex himself, and Gary said he’d do it. Alex says he’s shocked, and Gary says, Chase thought Alex had been just sitting there all night and was livid. WTF? This is why I hate this guy. He’s like a middle schooler causing drama where there is none.

In Alex’s interview, he says he feels like he’s working hard. He doesn’t know why Chase is attacking him behind his back. Come and talk to him. What’s this guy’s deal? Alex apologizes to Glenn, and Daisy tells the guests that the seafood-palooza is on for tonight. In Ileisha’s interview, she says, seafood is her secret weapon. She’s making oysters, whole baked snapper, fresh fish, and grilled prawns. She’s going to smash it. Mads talks to Alex, and Gary asks her to come hang out. He tells her that they’ve hooked up twice, and asks what she wants out of it. She says she’s fine with a casual hookup, and he says, she wants to flirt with everyone else. In her interview, Mads says she doesn’t know what Gary expects. She likes to enjoy herself, but that doesn’t mean she’s settling down for life. She doesn’t want anyone hindering her flirting. If anyone wants to tell her what to do, she’ll tell them to f*** off. Colin tries to find a rhyme for deckie, and says, the keyboard is for kids. The table is decorated in a seashell theme, and it’s gorgeous. Primary Jim asks if his shorts make his butt look fat, or does his fat butt make his butt look fat? The palooza is served, and Jim says, the chef is amazing. He declares that whoever wins the talent show will get to take the flag home. The flag that flies his nakey self. Glenn practices a joke about how sex can burn the same amount of calories as running 8 miles… but no one can run 8 miles in 30 seconds. BA-DUM-CHH!  

Glenn announces the second annual Big Jim Talent Show, and says he’ll warm them up with a joke. He went to the zoo, but they only had one fluffy dog – it was a shih tzu. It takes them a minute, as it does me. Chase catches things in his mouth, Mads and Lucy do cartwheels, and Lucy makes her boobies go up and down. Gary tries to do a pyramid with Mads and Lucy, holding the Jim flag, and fails miserably. Then Daisy does Irish dancing with Mads, Lucy, and Ileisha. Colin says, last year, he did a song about the guests, but this year, the song is about the crew. Alex holds the music while he plays the tiny keyboard and sings. In Daisy’s interview, she says, she’s so proud of her team; they’re the most talented bunch. Except for Colin’s song. He’s so cute. Colin and Alex win by one point. Alex asks Chase about what he told Gary, and Chase says, Glenn comes out and says, the boat looks like sh*t, and he looks like an a-hole. He’s not a guy who gets pissed at dumb sh*t. We flash back to Gary saying he was livid, and Alex says he doesn’t believe Chase is like that. In his interview, he says, from what he can tell, Chase either isn’t that fired up, or Gary is instigating drama. It seems like someone’s not telling the truth. Alex cleans the boat.

Last day of charter. Alex tells Chase that he didn’t stop moving; the boat should be perfect. Jim says, the talent show was awesome, and Gary tells Alex, good job. Jim scares the stews by hiding near the bar. Why? Who knows? Gary tells Colin that he doesn’t think Mads takes him seriously, and Colin says, the more Gary pushes, the more she steps back. Gary says, he wants love too, and in Colin’s interview, he says, what we’re dealing with is a stage five clinger. Mads isn’t giving in to all of Gary’s shenanigans and it’s kind of funny. Breakfast is served, and they get to Igy Marina. The spot they’re supposed to dock in is pretty tight, and Gary asks Daisy to help watch the fenders. In Glenn’s interview, he says, it’s the first time they’ve had big neighbors on both sides. He can do a lot of damage if the groundlines go under the rudder. If they’re pulled in too fast or too hard, they can pop the stern lines. Focus is critical. We see a crane shot, and yeah, it’s tight.

There’s trouble fitting the fenders between the boats, and in his interview, Glenn says, it’s 11 meters wide, but they only have about 9 to work with. Still, he knows he can wiggle his way in, and he does. It’s time for goodbyes, and Jim gives Glenn a humongous envelope, saying, it’s a small tip, so it won’t go far; it’s all ones that he usually spends at the strip bar. Farewell, and he loves them. As he asks, where’s his horn honk? Glenn obliges. The crew meets for the tip meeting, and Glenn says, something can always go wrong on charter; there’s never a dull moment. There was smoke and an engine fire, but Colin saved the day. The gelling of the interior is a testament to Daisy’s leadership, and he noticed an improvement. Ileisha also showed a big improvement. The tip is $27,500, or just shy of 2700 euros each. In Ileisha’s interview, she says she’s so happy; Glenn is giving her compliments. She’s exhausted mentally and physically. Gary asks who Alex has his eye on, but Alex says he’s not playing. Everyone gets ready, and the drinking commences, and Chase is already past his limit. He demands someone funnel beer with him, and starts getting loud and obnoxious. They get in the taxis, Gary going with the girls, and the rest of the guys together. Chase says he wants to drink tequila from Lucy’s tig old bitties, and Gary tells the girls what the guys have been saying about them. When they complain, he gets out of the taxi on the highway, and calls to the other taxi that he’s coming.  

He gets back in, and Daisy tells him, that’s not funny; they’re on a main road. Gary says, all the guys want to f*** Daisy, and Daisy tells him to stop talking. They get to the restaurant, and Gary tells Colin that the ride wasn’t good. He told the girls what the guys think about them, and it clearly wasn’t a complement. He said, all the guys wanted to f*** Daisy, but they’re scared of her. Colin says, Gary ditched the boys, then threw them under the bus, and in his interview, he says, Gary was in direct violation of BroCode number one; don’t tell the girls what we say about them. Colin goes back to the table, and says, Gary is a f***ing leper. Ileisha isn’t feeling well, and gets sick in the bathroom. Colin says, Gary is being a f***ing gossip, and Lucy says, he told her that Colin said she was ugly. Colin is like, what? and Lucy starts laughing. Chase asks if he can drink tequila from between Lucy’s boobies, but that’s a hard no. In Lucy’s interview, she says, Chase needs to chill until he understands his limit. When he’s drunk he gets loud. Chase rephrases it, and just says he wants tequila. Meanwhile, Glenn lounges on the boat. Ileisha decides to go back, and tells them that she’ll let them know when she gets there. Have an awesome night. Gary talks to Mads in Italian, and asks her to be his girlfriend. She says, it’s a little fast, and she needs another drink. Chase says, cheers to boobies, and Lucy says, it’s not the time or place. Chase says he’s 10 drinks deep, but she doesn’t have to call him a f***ing a-hole. She tells him not to put words in her mouth, and gets up, her chair falling behind her. She says, if she’s going to call him a f***ing a-hole, she’ll call him a f***ing a-hole to his f***ing face. She storms out, and in her interview, she says, he is a f***ing a-hole.  Daisy and Mads follow Lucy out.

Chase says, it was a joke. He’s not saying another word. The girls come back, and in Lucy’s interview, she says she’s fed up. Chase is so annoying. WTF? My name is Chase. I love boobs and want to do tequila shots on your t*ts. On the way back, Gary says, say one thing to chicks, and they start throwing their chairs. I say, first of all, Gary, only chicks can call chicks chicks. Back at the boat, with Glenn safely asleep, Colin asks, what’s in Gary’s head? Gary says, Mads gave him two second of her time, and Daisy looked at him like he cheated on her. He’s sick and tired of games. He’s over it. Mads gets in Gary’s bunk with him, and Chase says he’s not putting up with this sh*t tonight. S*ck my d*ck, boss. He and Colin commiserate, and when Mads leaves, Chase tells Colin, quick, reclaim the cabin, but they wonder where Gary is. They look for him. Alex joins the search, and they check out the master, Gary yelling for them to get out. Mads says, WTF? Why? I give up on figuring out what anyone sees in Gary and what side of the fence Mads is on. Alex says he’s glad they got to the bottom of that, and Gary tells Mads that it took his b*ner away straightaway. I don’t know if that’s the reason, but Mads leaves, and in Daisy’s interview, she says she’s so confused right now. She asks Colin where Gary is, and they go looking for him, because what else is there to do on a night off? They go to the master, and Gary tells them that Mads got pissed off and went to bed. Colin says, his bad, and on the way upstairs, Colin kisses Daisy on the steps, which makes me very nervous that they’ll fall. Colin wonders where that came from, and he and Daisy go to her cabin. Daisy asks if it’s okay that Colin sleeps there, and Mads goes back to the master. The door closes, and Gary tells Mads that she’s something else. Daisy tells Colin that he turns her on.

Color me surprised. I knew it was going to happen this season, but there was no gradual leading up to it. Or even flirting all night leading up to it. There was zero leading up to it.

There was no preview.

Summer House Reunion – Part 1

Before the Reunion begins, Lindsay says, there’s literally nothing worse than what her best friend did to her. Danielle says, it’s like experiencing a death in real time, and she’s not up for it. The housemates sit down, and these girls need to take fashion tips from the Housewives or something. Mya looks like she’s dressed for the beach, nobody is impressive, and some of them look like, did you check yourself in the mirror before you left? Andy says, the set is inspired by Kyle’s 40th birthday party, and asks Kyle, what is the endgame for the mullet? Kyle says, TBD, and Amanda says, it makes him happy, and it’s not permanent. She’ll deal with it… for now. Andy congratulates Lindsay and Carl, and admires the ring. He welcomes Sam, Gabby, and Chris to their first Reunion. He tells us that there was a seismic shift in the friends group, and emotions were raw. He hopes that they find a resolution. Seeing the finale, he was upset as a fan. We flash back to Lindsay being awful to Danielle and Danielle calling her a monster, and Andy asks what Danielle hopes to get out of it. Danielle says she hated seeing Lindsay’s face. The way it looked, it felt like she was seeing a stranger. If it’s over, it’s over. Andy asks, what about Lindsay? and Lindsay says she’s hoping for an open and honest conversation. During the summer, they weren’t hearing each other; they were speaking different languages. She’s hoping they’ll hear each other and have an open dialogue. This is really mature sounding, but sooner or later will no doubt implode.

Andy says, relationships took turns in ways we’d have never predicted. Kyle and Amanda weren’t in a single argument. Everyone applauds, and Amanda says, they didn’t have to plan a wedding. Kyle says, and he didn’t cheat. They communicate better. Andy tells Amanda that Jen from Provo, Utah thanks her for being open about her health issues, and Amanda says, she’s back on her cycle. As a matter of fact, she has her period right now. Post birth control syndrome, which messes with your cycle, is apparently a thing, but she didn’t know. Andy says he wants to address a blind item that Kyle cheated, and Kyle says, the internet is a powerful drug. According to the internet, he had affairs with everyone. Lindsay says, no way Kyle has the time, and Andy says, the leak happened during the Loverboy drama. Paige thinks it came from Lindsay, who wrote about Kyle’s wedding under anonymous sources. Carl says, it’s a truthful thing that happened. Craig’s behavior was questionable. Paige says, they don’t know them, and Lindsay says she never sent the item. Andy says, a viewer was reminded of the cheating rumors Lindsay brought up, and Lindsay says, which turned out not to be true We flash back to Lindsay saying Kyle was making out with someone, and Andy says, but Kyle’s forgiven Lindsay. Kyle says he thinks there are a lot of things they’ve been quick to forgive and move on; that’s what friends do. But he’s been told by numerous people that Lindsay knew for a couple of days before filming. Lindsay spins a lot of things. He knows for a fact she knew before they got to the house that summer. Andy asks if he means she waited until they were on camera, and Amanda says, it was Kyle’s birthday weekend. Kyle says, Lindsay spoke with a producer, and they decided to blow it up on his birthday. It was a rumor, and there was no confirmation. Lindsay says, mutual friends saw him.

Lindsay says, they weren’t in a friendship place, and Amanda says, she would have pulled Lindsay aside and talked to her privately. Lindsay says she’s sorry she brought it up on camera, but Kyle says, her apology is shallow. Just admit it was purposeful backstabbing that she spun as a friend. Amanda says, it was the beginning of a series of trends, and Kyle says, Lindsay often sounds forced and produced. Carl says, the issue is that Kyle cheated, and Kyle says, it was a rumor, and he was blindsided. Lindsay says she found out the week before, and had a hard time going through with it. Amanda says she’s so sorry Lindsay struggled. Andy says, this is Kyle and Amada’s first summer as a married couple, but Gabby, Chris, and Sam came single and left with mixed results. A viewer thinks the way Mya addressed Sam was harsh and unkind. We flash back to Sam talking non-stop, and Mya talking to her about it. Mya says, they’ve talked about this, and it wasn’t her intention to hurt Sam’s feelings. She thought Sam should know. Andy asks if Sam was surprised, and Sam says she wasn’t upset because it felt mean. She’s heard it before. It’s her one biggest insecurity. She cries, and says, it brought up hurtful things from her past. They were done behind her back which made them more hurtful. Andy says, Gabby surprised them, having issues with Ciara, and Gabby says she didn’t think Ciara liked her; which is fine. But Ciara seemed to be making a concerted effort to find a reason. Ciara says, it’s not that she doesn’t like Gabby, but in the conversations they had about money, it felt like Gabby was flaunting it, and it rubbed her in a weird way. Mya says, it felt like she and Gabby had moments as time went on, and Andy asks if Ciara has written off Gabby, but she says, no. Gabby says she felt written off, and Andy says, Danielle came in last year reunion with hate toward Ciara. He’s surprised how close they are now. He wonders what changed, and Ciara says she thinks a lot of their feelings were based on other people’s situations. They hung out outside of filming. Andy asks if Lindsay was surprised, but Lindsay says, Ciara has animosity toward her, so when her friendship with Danielle cracked, she wasn’t surprised. Ciara says, the past is in the past, and she thought they were on good terms now, but it doesn’t seem that way.

Andy says, Carl and Lindsay moved in together and decided to exclusively call each other babe. We flash back to the 47,000 times they called each other babe, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed. Andy says, they’re relationship put their friendships in the house to the test. Did they realize how much they called each other babe? Carl says he cringes now when he does it, and Lindsay says she can’t call him Carl. I understand this, since a friend of mine and I suddenly realized how much we were both saying you know. Then every time we did it, it was definitely cringy. Andy asks if it felt weird coming back as a couple, and Lindsay says, being a couple, you’re always target, so you brace for impact. Carl says, there was still resentment about things past, and this was his first serious relationship in 10 years. Their friends were seeing them in a different way, and he’d hoped it would be positive instead of questioning everything. Chris says he was supportive, and Sam says, seeing them as a couple brought her joy. Andy says, Amy from NYC wondered if Kyle was nervous about them coming to the house as a couple, as he’s known them for over a decade. Kyle says, he would be concerned about any friend who was dating Lindsay. He’s sorry, but he knows her well, and knew she was drinking again, When he drinks, he’s goofy, loud, and obnoxious, but she gets irrational and defensive. He was nervous that the honeymoon phase was being driven by her not drinking, and they were all waiting to see what happened, but it was out of concern and love for Carl, and knowing her. Andy asks if that’s a fair concern, and Lindsay admits it is. Andy says, a viewer wants to know if Carl and Lindsay act differently on and off camera, and Paige says she thinks they’re fake, and Andy says, but the newbies don’t. Paige says, there was an article in People four hours after they were engaged. Everything is premeditated and planned. Carl says, Paige dates the biggest liar, nyah-nyah-nyah, and Andy says, there are a lot of liars on Bravo. I literally lol, and Paige says, they lie about everything, and spin every story. Lindsay says, she must think there’s a lot of money in it, and Paige says, that’s why she’s confused. Neither one of them have jobs.

Danielle says she doesn’t think they put on for the camera, but they want the fairytale to be real. She played into it. They wanted to express their love bigger than anything. Andy asks if she saw the cracks, and Danielle says, when they were in Montauk, it was like they were the amigos. Lindsay was drinking, and became contentions with Carl, so he left. Carl says he assumed if Lindsay went back to drinking, this part of her might be activated again, but he didn’t think it would be toward him. The more I hear, the more I think Lindsay shouldn’t be drinking at all. Not if she’s a mean drunk. For the record, I’m the happy drunk who says, let’s put on musicals! Danielle says she told Carl that he could get through this, but he went back to the city in an Uber, while Lindsay stayed in South Hampton. Andy says, for those unenlightened, taking an Uber to NYC from Long Island is an aggressive move. It’s a $400, four hour move. Andy asks why Danielle never mentioned it, and Danielle says she didn’t want to air Lindsay and Carl’s fights. She was protecting them. Andy says, it seemed the fights happened when Lindsay was drinking, and we flash back to some of that. Andy says, Susan in LA asks if Lindsay ever feels like she’s walking on eggshells around Carl, and Lindsay says she wants to be respectful of his sobriety. Carl says he wants Lindsay to be the best version of herself. He tries to talk to her about it, so she can recognize it and learn. Andy asks if Kyle feels Carly is more troubled about Lindsay’s drinking than he’s saying. Kyle says, a month or two in, he knew what Carl’s number one challenge would be. He’d been looking forward to his one year mark sober as a single person. Andy asks Carl if he’s more bothered than he’s admitting.

Carl says, they talked about it in couple’s therapy. A big part of the work is dialogue, and he doesn’t want to hold back. Lindsay doesn’t communicate well when she drinks. Andy tells Lindsay, Carl is sober and she’s not; Al-Anon is her friend. Lindsay says, a friend sent her a list of Zoom meetings, and Carl says he’s an alcoholic and a drug addict; it’s a lot. Communication has to be constant, and he gives Lindsay grace and credit because of what she signed up for. Please don’t tell me that he takes this crap out of gratitude. Andy asks why Carl told Kyle about the engagement early, especially after he said he could never trust Kyle with another secret. We flash back to Kyle spreading the good news about Carl fingerbanging Lindsay, and the reactions, which are mostly elementary schoolish giggling. Amanda says, Kyle only told her, and that was because she had to stay home, since the dogs were having surgery. He told her two seconds before he left. Andy asks if Chris was surprised Carl told him early, but Chris says he’s not marriage minded, so he was  it was no big deal. Carl says he thought she must know, and Andy asks how many of them think she did. It’s everyone, and Paige says, she knew when Lindsay asked if she liked her dress. Lindsay had never asked her a fashion related question in the five years she’d been in the house. We flash back to Kyle telling the others, and Danielle freaking when she finds out. Andy asks if Danielle wishes she’d reacted differently, but Danielle says, it’s the most raw she’s been on the show. She found out 30 minutes to an hour before they were going to the party; it was pure raw emotion. Andy asks if Lindsay was surprised at some of the muted reactions to the engagement so as not to upset Danielle, and Lindsay says she remembers Danielle’s reaction to Amanda’s engagement; there’s consistency. Danielle asks if Lindsay is saying she hates engagements or happiness.

Andy asks Carl to elaborate on saying, all the girls owe Lindsay an apology, and Amanda says, the feeling’s mutual. Carl says, it was the commentary. Paige and Lindsay had lunch in the first episode, and it seemed all good. What changed? Gabby reminds Paige that she said it was a clean slate. Then at the first sign of tension between Danielle and Lindsay, Paige said she was glad Danielle was seeing who Lindsay is. She was confused why Paige would be excited about a longstanding friendship… Paige says she wasn’t excited, and Lindsay tries to interrupt. Paige says she remembers being a 25 year old new girl who Lindsay barely spoke to, but screamed at. We flash back to that, and Paige says, it was her first summer, so it was a wash. She gravitated to Amanda, since Amanda was the only nice one. She know others have had different experiences with Lindsay, and yes, she gossips about that, but she’s watched Lindsay fight with every girl there, and it had nothing to do with her. She was in that position at one time, so when they come to her, she says she gets it. When Danielle got it on the other end, she was happy Danielle was standing up for herself. Lindsay asks why Paige squashed their beef at lunch, and Paige says, Lindsay went on a PR tirade, saying Paige weaponized her miscarriage, when Paige sent her flowers. She judges people based on how they treat others. Lindsay shouts over Paige talking, and Paige says, Lindsay is rude. Andy had to yell at her at Bravocon for the way she spoke to his employees. Ciara says, the way she speaks to the employees is despicable. Someone (I miss who) says, Lindsay threw a shoe at a producer, and Paige says, name one girl Lindsay talks to. Lindsay says she texted Mya when the dog bit her at the wedding. She thought they were in a good place. Then when she shows up at the Reunion, they’re not. Paige says, that’s because Lindsay goes on press tours, and Andy asks if Lindsay complained about Paige to Danielle. Danielle says, she did. There’s a bunch of yelling and everyone talking at once, and Paige says, Lindsay is literally nuts. Lindsay says, she’d rather be nuts than boring.

Next time, Kory joins the group; Carl admits showing up for work coked up; Kyle cries; we find out Ciara texted Kory to go out; and Carl says he did what he thought was best to surprise Lindsay.

🧘🏾‍♀️ No Diggity Here…

Slide into my blog tomorrow for soap and the mess that will be the Jersey Reunion. Until then, stay safe, stay not making your phone an appendage, and stay always having an endgame for your mullet.

May 28, 2023 – The Truth About PADRE & Dreaming

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Fear the Walking Dead

Madison opens her eyes to a zombie head wrapped in a burlap sack and cinched in a vise above her. She struggles to get up, but realizes she’s tied up and strapped down. A guard comes in and tells her, sorry about the sedative, but it was easier that way. Madison asks if they haven’t taken enough blood, but the guard says, they’ve moved beyond studying her blood. It will be easier if Blue Jay explains. June comes in, and Madison says, Naomi, but June says, that was a long time ago. So long, I forgot she was ever called that. The guard says, PADRE wants her back on the island, and to get Madison ready. Madison asks if June is one of them, but June says, not by choice. Madison wonders if June has been the one drawing her blood, but June says she didn’t even know Madison was alive. She’s done everything she can to put Shrike off. Madison asks, from what? What is Shrike going to do to her? June says, Shrike has ideas on how to cure Carrion bites based on Alicia surviving as long as she did. It’s probably why Shrike was collecting Madison’s blood. It might be something besides radiation, something hereditary. Madison asks if Shrike is right, but June thinks it’s too soon to tell. There’s a boy who’s been responding to the radiation, but it hasn’t even been a week. Madison looks at the head moving around in the bag, and wonders if she can ask June a favor. June says, anything, and Madison says, there’s a file with the names of the children she took; their real names, not the names PADRE gave them. She promised Mo that she’d track down the kids’ parents, but June says, everything she’s tried to do since being at PADRE has blown up in her face. Shrike radios, asking if Madison is ready, and June nods. The guard tells Shrike that she is, and June reminds Madison of how she saved them all when she was left at the stadium. She won’t leave Madison now. She’ll be with her until the end. Madison looks again at the zombie head.

12 years ago. A teenage girl (obviously Shrike when she was younger) and boy walk into a room, and the girl says, they shouldn’t be here. They check out a two-way mirror, when a voice on the loudspeaker asks what they’re doing in here. They’re about to run, when a man in uniform comes in. It’s their dad, and he says, they should have seen their faces. The boy says, the mirror is creepy, and the soldier says, it helps him with meetings. The girl says, he needs to get the mic fixed too, but the soldier says, Sergeant Brenner says it’s probably just a faulty wire. The girl asks if he really has to go today, and the soldier says he wants to show them something.

The girl looks through binoculars and the soldier tells her, it’s a middle-spotted woodpecker. When their mom gave him the binoculars, she said, it was so he’d always see what’s coming. When he saw that bird this morning, he felt like she was trying to tell him that they’d be okay here. These birds live in families, and cooperate to raise their young. If the birds can do it, so can they. A soldier asks if they should load up, calling the man General Kreddick. The general asks for a minute, and his daughter says she hates when he leaves the island, but he says, that’s the way they’re going to help people rebuild; the same way they did this place. Each shipping container is filled with supplies to rebuild. The boy says, it’s dangerous out there. LA and Atlanta were bombed. Kreddick says, they need to seed new communities, calling the boy Ben. The young woman asks how they even know there’s still people out there, and Kreddick asks if they remember Elias and Senator Vasquez. They made contact with Vasquez yesterday. He and his staff are beneath the Franklin Hotel in Galveston. They’re safe. Ben asks why Kreddick can’t stay on the island until it’s safer, but Kreddick says, they’ll never survive here cut off from the world. What will happen when their supplies run out if they don’t have trading partners; other communities to rely on? He promises they’ll be safe here, and tells them to use the code names he gave them if they communicate by radio; it’s for their safety. The boy says he’s Crane, right? and the girl asks why she has to be Shrike. Kreddick says, the shrike may be small, but it’s brutal when it needs to be. Doesn’t hesitate to take care of its family. He tells her to take care of her brother while he’s gone, and she salutes him. He hugs them, says he’ll see them soon, and leaves.

Shrike removes the burlap, revealing the zombie head, which is pretty disgusting, and says, after everything PADRE gave Madison, she betrayed him. This is how she’s going to make it up to him. And she won’t be alone. Nightingale is going to next to her, as soon as they can find him. Madison asks why PADRE is doing this, and Shrike says, for the same reason he does everything. To ensure what he’s built endures.

Running along some railroad tracks, Mo whacks a zombie, and Dove asks if she realizes how far they are from the rest of the group. Mo says she has to do this. They need to see what’s in the railroad car.

Shrike tells Madison, years from now, when people talk about how PADRE was able to stop infections from Carrion bites killing, they’ll remember today. Madison will be a hero.

Mo thinks Finch might be inside. He never came back from his surgery. Dove says, he’s recovering from his surgery, but Mo says, after Finch’s boat got attacked, PADRE sent guards after him. She checked the logs, and it said they went to an old railroad museum, but nothing is there. She thinks someone moved the train car here. Maybe PADRE isn’t telling them the truth. What if something bad happened in there? What if it’s still happening?

June asks to sedate Madison, but Shrike says, she brought PADRE plenty of pain. It’s time she felt a little herself. The head moves closer.

Mo bangs on the tracks with a sledgehammer, and tells Dove that they have to know what’s going on in there. A guard asks what they’re doing, and comes toward them, but they run off.

Madison yells as the head comes closer, when Mo pulls the plug. Shrike tells the guards to get her out of here. Now. As the guards come for Mo, June grabs Shrike’s gun and knocks her out with the butt. Mo yells for June to help, and June stabs the head, then cuts Madison’s bonds, saying, she owes Madison one. June shoots one of the guards, and Madison gets herself free, grabbing Mo, and ducking down with her behind a cabinet. She asks what Mo is doing here, and Mo says they have to get out of here so they can do what they said, but Madison tells her that she’ll never be able to get near the island after this. Mo says her dad can help, but Madison says, until he’s back, they’re on their own. June has a gun battle with the remaining guard, and finally shoots him in the head. Mo tells Madison that they just have to find the prefects, and get through to them the way Madison got through to her. If they do that, the other kids will follow. June gives Madison some oxygen, and Hawk radios Shrike, saying,  they’re done for the day. Shrike reaches for the radio, but Madison kicks it away. Dove comes in, aiming her gun, and tells them not to move. Shrike tells her to call the prefects and tell them to get more guards, but Mo says, don’t. She was going to kill Lark. Dove says, Lark deserves it, and Mo asks if Finch did. Shrike tells Dove not to listen to Mo, and Mo says, Shrike killed him, didn’t she? Shrike says she saved him, but June says, that is a lie. Mo asks where he is, and Shrike says, somewhere his parents can’t do him anymore harm. June says, Shrike is the reason Finch got bit, and Dove asks, what the hell is going on here? Shrike says, she’s ensuring what PADRE built, and ensuring they have a future. Madison asks if that’s what this looks like to Dove, when Hawk radios Dove, asking her location. Shrike tells her to let them know and tell them to get over here, but Madison says, don’t do it. PADRE lied to her about this. Think of what else he’s lied about. Her parents could still be out there and she can help find them. Dove says, they abandoned her because they couldn’t take care of her, but Madison says, that’s not true. Dove asks how she knows, and Madison says she’s the one who took Dove away from her parents. Dove asks their names and where Madison took her from, but Madison says she doesn’t know, but knows Dove’s face. The only one tricking her is PADRE. June says, that’s why PADRE kept this a secret, but they can change that. Madison says she just needs to get to the island. There’s a file there with the names of all the kids she took, and where she took them from. That’s how she can help Dove. That’s how she can help all the kids. Hawk radios again for Dove’s location, but she turns the radio off. She says she’ll help Madison get back to the island. She doesn’t care what’s in the file, but she cares about the truth, and wants to hear it from PADRE. Shrike asks how she’ll do that, and Dove says she can if Shrike helps her. Shrike asks why she would, and Dove holds her gun to Shrike’s head. Shrike says, if Dove kills her, he’ll do worse than she planned to do to Lark today. Dove asks, why is that? and Shrike says, because she’s PADRE’s daughter. They hear something outside.

Kreddick tells the other soldiers, let’s move out, and Shrike peaks out from her hiding place, telling Ben the coast is clear. She says, he shouldn’t be here, but he says he just wants to make sure she’s safe. He sees that their dad forgot his binoculars, and wants to take them to him; he won’t be able to see what’s coming without them. Shrike says, it’s just a superstition. He’ll be fine. Ben says, that’s what they said about mom, and tells her to get out of his way, but she says, no. He shoves her out of the way, and locks her in, using a tool to brace the door shut. He runs after their father.

As they leave the train car, Shrike says, Dove is making a big mistake. Whatever answer she’s looking for, it’s not that. A group comes out of the woods with guns, and a man tells them, hands up. A woman (Diane) says, tell them what they want and no one gets hurt, and Madison says, she knows them. They’re all parents, aren’t they? Diane looks at Dove, who asks what she’s looking at. Diane asks where their kids are. Where’s Adrian? Madison says she doesn’t know any Adrian, but June says, he was here, he’s dead. Diane says, he just wanted to find his daughter, and June says, he did, but she’s dead too. She died a long time ago. Shrike says, because of June, but June says, because of what Shrike made her do. Mo says, if they want to find their kids, Madison can help, but Diane says, she’s with PADRE. Mo says, not anymore. She’s changed. Dove says, PADRE lied to all of them. Shrike is his daughter. Maybe they can find out what else he’s lied about – together. Diane says they’ll wait for the Commander, and Dove asks who that is, when a man tells them, turn around. Madison says, Daniel? and he says, Madison… and June. June says, he’s alive. Diane says, he knows these people? and he says, give them back their weapons. It seems they all have nine lives. Madison says, they’re going to need them.

Walking through the woods, Madison takes more oxygen, Daniel says he often considered the possibility of Madison being alive, but not like this. Madison says she’s not proud of what she did. She just wants a chance to make it right. He says, you and me both. Maybe they can help each other. He’s been looking for that damn island for years. If what she’s telling them is correct, she may be the best and only shot for these folks to get their children back from PADRE. She asks how he wound up with them, and he says, seven years ago, Morgan told PADRE they were out here, and PADRE found them. They brought everyone to a ship to assess them before deciding where they were going to be sent according to their skills and usefulness. Some went to the mainland, some went to the island; others, he doesn’t know where they went. PADRE thought he was too old to be of any use, so they dumped him in the swamp. Madison says she’s sorry, and Daniel says, PADRE was right about one thing, he is old. But PADRE was wrong about everything else. Being old doesn’t mean to be useless. He could take care of himself. So could everyone in the group, except for Charlie. She asks, what happened to Charlie? and he says, Morgan didn’t tell her? She says, Morgan didn’t get to tell her much before PADRE figured out what they were up to and separated them. He says, Charlie became very sick. She was like a daughter to him by then, and he promised he’d stay with her to the end, so she didn’t have to die alone. Like Ofelia. He broke his promise. He wasn’t there for her. He wasn’t there for Luciana either. She says she’s sorry, and knows Morgan would be too, and he says he had no purpose. Then he found these folks; this angry, desperate group of people in search of their kidnapped children. It gave him a purpose. He organized and trained them, and made them into an army. They’re strong and getting stronger, because there’s more of them out there. He lost his family, but he’s going to fight to help them get back theirs. She says, maybe he hasn’t lost all of his family. The files. There’s not just the kids in there. Luciana, Charlie, maybe he can find out what happened to them.

Dove says, maybe they can use the transport boat to get back to the island, and Shrike asks if she’s sure she wants to go down this road. Daniel suggests Shrike stop asking questions and start answering some, and Madison says, like who else knows she’s PADRE’s daughter? Shrike says, not many, and Daniel asks why her father separates children from their parents, but doesn’t do the same to himself. Shrike says, they don’t get it, but Madison says, they do. He’s an a-hole, like every other a-hole who runs places like this. Shrike says, he’s not. PADRE believes in the way the place is run and how they do things; he has for a very long time. Madison says, that makes no sense, and June says, she’s right. Why are they killing people for an experiment that will never pay off? Shrike says, it will pay off. Look at Finch. Madison asks, what happened to Shrike’s father? Why’d he build a place like this? Dove says, they’ve got to go, and Diane asks where Dove came from before PADRE, but Dove doesn’t know. Why does she care? Diane asks if Dove knows her, but Dove says she’s never seen the woman before. A bunch of guys from PADRE come out with guns, and one says, move away from the boat now. Madison says, they don’t understand. Shrike is PADRE’s daughter. They’ve been lied to. Daniel says, PADRE has been ripping families apart, yet kept his daughter by his side all this time. Mo says, it’s true, calling the guy Hawk. PADRE’s been lying to them all this time. Shrike suggests they focus more on getting her out of there, and Hawk says, Mo and Dove don’t have to go along with this anymore. Dove says, they’re going to the island, and Mo says, they’re going to get some answers from PADRE. Hawk asks who they are to question PADRE, and Dove says, it’s not just her. She’s seen some sh*t today. On the train. PADRE has a lot to explain. He says, she’s not thinking straight, and Daniel tells Hawk, the same could be said for him. All these people have lost children to PADRE. Maybe they could find Hawk’s parents. Hawk says, their parents abandoned them, but Diane says, we didn’t. We’ve been fighting this whole time. Daniel suggests Hawk’s group join them; fight alongside them. Hawk tells Dove to just hand her over, but Dove says, no. He says, maybe she’ll listen to PADRE, and takes out his radio, but Madison goes behind Shrike (who I keep wanting to call Shrek) and grabs her, holding a knife to her throat. She says, they can’t wait any longer. If PADRE knows they’re coming, they’ll destroy the files. Hawk asks, what files? and Madison says, the ones that say where Dove came from; who her parents are. Who all their parents are. Hawk says, they’ll make sure she never gets it. They’re not getting on that boat. Daniel says, they’re going to have to go through them, but Hawk asks if Daniel doesn’t think he’d shoot an old man. Mo stands in front of Daniel, and says, he might, but would he shoot her? Daniel says, they’ll hold them off, and tells Madison to go, but she says she’s not leaving Mo. Mo tells her, get that file. If Madison can show Dove the truth, the rest of the kids will follow. Go. June, Dove, Shrike, and Madison get on the boat, and Madison drives it away.

Ben runs through a container yard, yelling for his dad, while Sam/Shrike frees herself from the boat. She runs after him, calling his name, but it’s like a container maze, and she hits a dead end. She sees a container with DEAD HERE spray painted on it, reminiscent of the DEAD INSIDE sign Rick saw in the first Walking Dead episode. She hears Ben yelling for help, and zombies growling. A couple of them have cornered Ben, and more come and surround him. Shrike calls his name.

Finch sits in an interrogation room, and over the intercom, PADRE says he thinks it’s time Finch told them where he’s been. Finch asks what he means, and PADRE says, he was bit, but he’s still here. Healthy. Thriving. Finch asks where Red Kite is, and Starling, and PADRE says, they’ve been reassigned. Somewhere they can’t cause him any more harm. Finch says, they saved him, but PADRE says, they saved him. Over the radio, a man says, they have a situation, and the guard asks, what kind of situation? Madison says, they have his daughter. How about telling their guards to stand aside so they can have a chat? Shrike tells Madison not to do this, but Madison says, time to stop hiding behind the mirror and tell the truth. Shrike says, he doesn’t have to answer for anything, but Madison says, yes, he does. Every kid wants to know why they were ripped away from their parents, but he wouldn’t do the same with his own daughter. Over the radio, Daniel tells Madison that they got away and asks if Dove is still with her. One of their people thinks she might be Dove’s mother. He hands the radio to Diane, who says she didn’t think it was possible, but a mother knows. Shrike says, don’t fall for this crap, and Diane says, Dove’s name is Alex, and she was taken outside Baton Rouge years ago. She thinks it was that woman, Lark. She searched for so long. She sang You Are My Sunshine as they took Alex away. She never stopped looking. Shrike says, this woman is just trying to get into Dove’s head, but Madison says, stop lying to her. Shrike says she’s not lying, and Madison says, there’s one way to find out. Dove’s file. They want it. Shrike says she’s making a mistake, but Madison says, do it, or she tells everyone here who Shrike really is. PADRE says, give her what she wants, and Madison tells Dove that she’s about to get the answers she came here for.

Inside, a guard plops a box on the table, and Shrike says, there’s something Dove needs to understand before she sees that file. Madison asks, what’s that? They already know this place is built on a lie. Shrike says, it’s not what they think. It’s the only way to protect them from what happened here before. Madison asks PADRE, what happened before? but he says he doesn’t answer to her. She tells him, he always says he never lost a kid, but she doesn’t know if that’s true. Who did they lose?

Ben is totally hemmed in, whimpering, as Sam watches. There’s gunshots, and the zombies drop. Kreddick asks what they’re doing here, and Ben throws his arms around his father. Ben gives him the binoculars, saying, he forgot these, and Kreddick says, he has to get them out of here. The shipyard’s a pool of the dead. More zombies show up, and Kreddick shoots, but runs out of ammunition. The three of them take off.

Madison asks again, what happened here?

Kreddick says, they have to get back to the boat, but zombies are coming out of everywhere, and they’re completely trapped.

Shrike says, Madison is never going to get her father to admit to anything. Madison says, why is that? and picks up a sledgehammer she conveniently found on the way in.

Kreddick shoves the closest zombie away, and gives Shrike a boost to the top of a container. He shoves more zombies, and boosts Ben up.

Madison asks why he won’t answer them.

Ben reaches down, and Kreddick takes his hand, but they slip apart. The zombies start to feed on Kreddick, and he tells Ben, don’t let this die. It’s too important.

Madison smashes the two-way mirror with the sledgehammer.

Kreddick – who, to his credit, is taking this like a champ – says he loves them both. Ben and Shrike watch as the zombies envelop him, and a single tear rolls down Shrike’s cheek.

Madison sees Ben behind the mirror.

Kreddick goes down in a sea of zombies, as Ben cries.

Shrike says, her father can’t answer Madison because her father is dead. She and her brother lost him a long time ago. Dove wanted to ask PADRE for the truth. Go ahead. Ask them. They are PADRE.

Shrike watches the zombies mill around, her father now one of them.

Madison asks how this went from what their father was doing to what they’re doing now. Shrike says, they didn’t know how to go on.

Still on top of a container, Ben brings out a gun and says he found it inside. Shrike takes it, and in a voiceover, she says, what did they even have to go on for? In the past, a guy over the radio Shrike is holding asks if PADRE 1 copies.

Shrike says, but then the universe answered, and Ben says, it was one of the kids from the island. He wanted to know what happened to his parents. They all did. Shrike says, they knew what it would do to the kids if they knew their parents died; how it would break them. Madison says, so they lied, and Shrike says, they told them that their parents abandoned them. Their parents knew they couldn’t take care of them, so they fled. Madison says, and they believed it? and Ben says, their parents left and never came back. What else were they supposed to think? Shrike says, they told the kids that they’d face this new world together without their parents; that they’d be better for it. Madison says, and the shipyard? Those containers? Shrike says, their father died protecting what was inside. They made sure it stayed that way. Madison asks, how? but Ben says, it doesn’t concern her. June asks how they recruited adults. They were just a bunch of kids. Ben says, it was easy. They made them believe he was still here, and they kept on believing it. Dove asks why they lied, and Shrike says, to protect them. Dove asks, from what? and Shrike says, open it. It’s what she wanted. Madison looks through the files until she finds the one for Dove. Shrike says, go on. Tell Dove who she is. Madison sees that her name was Odessa and her mother was Ava Sanderson. She flashes back to Ava saying, she cried when Madison pulled Odessa away from her on the beach. Madison says, no, and Dove asks, what’s wrong? Shrike says, go on. She deserves the truth. Madison says, her name is Odessa, and Dove says, her parents? Madison says she knew Dove’s mother. Her name was Ava. Shrike asks, what happened to Ava? and Madison flashes back to killing zombie Ava. Madison says, she died, and Shrike asks, how? Madison says, she was trying to take Dove back from PADRE, and Shrike asks, who made her believe that was possible? Madison flashes back to telling Ava that they can help her and her baby, and Dove says, her mother is dead because of Madison? She slams Madison up against the wall, and June tells her, no. Dove says, Madison made her believe in something more, and puts her gun to Madison’s head. Shrike says, let her go, but Dove says, she needs to pay for this. Shrike says, she will, but not this way, and Ben radios the guards, telling Dove to stand down. The guards come in, and Madison asks what Shrike is going to do now. Shrike says, they’re going to continue what they started on the train, and June says, like hell they are, but Ben says she doesn’t have a choice. She says, he’s a monster, but Shrike says, she and her brother are protecting these kids from the worst pain of all; the pain of losing a parent. Madison asks what that has to do with the train. The experiments? Ben says, as long as the world is the way it is, children will continue to experience unimaginable loss, but if there’s a cure, that would change everything. Seriously? No one has thought of that before this? Shrike says, they can go back to family, to connection. But in the meantime, they’re going to protect these kids the way they always have. She holds out the microphone to Madison and asks if she wants to tell the kids she rescued the truth. Go ahead. Let the whole island hear… That’s what she thought. The guard takes Madison and June, and Dove leaves with Shrike.

June, Madison, and Dove are on a boat with two guards, Shrike driving. Madison asks what Nick and Alicia were like, and June says she doesn’t think Madison would have recognized them. The boat stops, and Dove says, let’s go. They start to walk through the woods, when Daniel, Mo, and company come out. Daniel says, they’ve got to stop meeting like this. The guards draw their guns, but Daniel says, let their people go, and they’ll walk away. No one has to get hurt. They’ve got another 12 soldiers deep in the woods, and they’ve got their prefects. Shrike says, they wouldn’t, but Daniel asks if she wants to take that chance. Shrike signals the guards, who lower their weapons, and some of Daniel’s group disarm everyone. Diane says, Alex? but Dove says, that’s not her name, and Diane isn’t her mother. Her mother’s dead. Because of Madison. June says, Dove can still have a family, even if it’s not who she thought. She said Madison made her believe in something more. That’s still there. Come with them. Dove doesn’t say anything, and Shrike says, looks like she made her choice. And every other kid on that island is going to make the same one. Remember that. Mo says, no, they won’t, and Madison tells Daniel that she’s sorry. Diane says, this was a mistake; she can’t help them. Daniel says, yes, she can, but Madison says, she’s right. Those kids are never going to follow her; not after everything she’s done. Diane says, not just them, and Madison says she’s not the leader they need. But she thinks she knows who might be. Mo asks, who’s that? and Madison says, your father. They walk off, leaving Shrike and Dove on the path.

Zombies growl behind a metal fence, as Shrike watches them. She asks if Crane copies. He says he does, and she says, he was supposed to meet her. Ben says, after what happened, being out in the open doesn’t seem like a good idea, but she says, they’ve got a bigger problem. The parents know where the island is, which means it’s only a matter of time until they get here. Ben looks at an old photo of him, Shrike, and their father, and says, they’ll destroy everything they’ve built. She says, not if they’re not here. It doesn’t matter if they know who they are. What matters is that what they’ve built survives. He asks how they’re going to do that, and she says, by expanding. They’re going to do what dad said. Ben says, there are thousands of Carrion in that shipyard. Carrion they put there to protect what’s inside. She says, they taught the kids to fight for a reason. It’s time the kids showed them what they’ve learned.

We see tons of zombies in the shipyard.

Next time, Dwight tells Morgan that there’s nowhere to go; Morgan says, they’re trying to burn them out; Mo calls to her dad for help; and Grace says, they’ll kill him if he doesn’t tell them what happened.

🧟‍♀️ Don’t Be a Stranger…

Stop by tomorrow for what’s on Deck, and smack talk about awful people reuniting and talking smack about each other. Until then, stay safe, stay remembering those we’ve lost in service to our country on Memorial Day, and stay knowing that if you ask for the truth, it might not be what you think it is, or what you want to hear.

May 26, 2023 – Willow’s Transplant Begins, B&B Reunion, OC Coming Up, VanderNatter, Begging, Revelations, Who Is It, Fashion Cat, Half a Dozen Quotes Plus One & We Gotta

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly tells Sonny that Donna wants pancakes tomorrow, and he says, there’s plenty in the freezer. Carly tells him that Donna also wants to save some for Willow, and he says, it’s a great kid they’ve got. Carly’s phone rings, and she steps out to take it, leaving Sonny alone with the moss bowl🎍. Drew asks if there’s any word from the hospital, but Carly says, no, but they’re about to head over there because she wants to be there when Willow has her procedure. He says, of course (🍷). He’s sending good thoughts. She says, he’s not coming? and he says he thought he should stick around to see if he can dig up any dirt on Tracy to leverage Ned to use his influence on the SEC. She says, they’re going ahead with Plan A, huh? and he says, absolutely. There’s one way out of this, and they’re going to find it. She goes back in the kitchen, and Sonny tosses her a towel, and hands her a bowl to dry.

On the phone, Nina says, the patient’s name is Willow Corinthos… She is family. Nina Reeves. She’s Willow’s mother… Her daughter was scheduled to do a bone marrow transplant, and she just wants to see how she’s doing… She knows they can’t… There’s a knock at the door, and she says she’ll call them back. She tells them, thanks – she hangs up the phone – for nothing. She lets Diane in and says, Diane’s a lawyer. Diane agrees that she is, and Nina asks if there’s any way she can sue the hospital to get information on her daughter. Diane says she never – almost never – gives out free advice, but in this instance she will for the good of everyone involved. If Nina would like to find out about her daughter, ask her. Now will Nina tell Sonny that she’s here; he’s expecting her. Nina says, he’s not here. He had to share some news with Carly. Diane says, that’s right. May I? She says she heard congratulations are in order, and looks at Nina’s ring, adding, for the jeweler.

Anna meets Robert at the MetroCourt, and thanks him for making time in his busy schedule. He says, she made it sound important. Is it a business proposal? She says, personal. Holly. She’s trying to reach Holly, but she’s gone radio silent. Given their last conversation, she’s a little bit concerned something’s happened. Robert says, something has happened, and it’s all his fault.

Tracy says, that’s gratitude for you. After all she went through to get Brook and Chase back together. Olivia says, that explains the serenade on the terrace, and hugs Brook. She says she’s happy for Brook, and Ned says he’s glad Chase finally let Brook out of the doghouse. If only they could all be that lucky. Olivia says, it’s neither the time nor the place, and Brook says, Olivia still can’t think Ned is the one who blew the whistle on Carly and Drew, but Tracy says, of course (🍷) he did, and he deserves a medal. Ned says, no he doesn’t because he didn’t. Brook believes him. Why can’t his own wife? Drew comes in, and Olivia says she’d like to believe Ned. Drew says he’d like to believe Ned too. Just give him one good reason.

Sonny asks how the SEC situation with Carly and Drew is going (didn’t they just have this conversation?), and she says, they’re not going down without a fight. Sonny says his offer still stands. If she wants to turn him in to the Feds, she can. Just let him know what she’s going to do beforehand. She thanks him, but says, it’s too big of a risk, and he says, let him be the judge of that. She says, if the situations were reversed, would he turn her in? He asks what she thinks, when Josslyn walks in and asks, what’s he doing here?

TJ tells Willow that it’s not going to hurt. The donating was the hard part. The transplant itself isn’t that different from a blood transfusion. So all Willow needs to do is sit back and relax. Wiley knocks at the window, and says, hi mommy. Michael calls, and Willow asks, who is this, and how did you get my number? He says, her fan club misses her, but she says, not as much as she misses them. Wiley says he loves her, and she says, her too.

Ned asks how he could do this to Drew and Carly when Willow is so sick. The answer is simple; he couldn’t, and he didn’t. Drew says he would believe Ned, if he hadn’t threatened to do just that, and Olivia says, he’s right. Ned said he was going to do this. Ned tells her, he said he might consider it, which was an empty threat, but even if he had considered it, he never followed through with it. Brook says, that’s enough. Get back to their corners. Shame on Ned. And shame on Drew for focusing on the SEC and that whole mess. None of that matters compared to what Willow is facing today. Tracy says, exactly, and thanks Brook for reminding this family of what’s really important. Why can’t they come together instead of pulling each other apart? Olivia can’t believe this is what it’s come to, and Tracy says, when Brook is the voice of reason, no one is more surprised than she is. Olivia says, and Tracy being the voice of family unity, but Tracy says she’s always advocated for family unity. Drew asks if she didn’t withhold medication from Edward when he was having a heart attack (ha-ha!), and Brook says, she sure did. Ned says, famously, and Tracy says, if there was one person who could attest to her devotion to the well-being and the happiness and the harmony of this family, it would be her granddaughter. Olivia laughs, and says she gets it. Tracy got Brook and Chase back together, and now she wants Brook to feel like she owes her something. Tracy says, it’s not always quid pro quo. There are such things as altruism and sacrifice. Ned asks if Tracy is feeling well, but Olivia says, trust her. Tracy is feeling just fine. How exactly is doing right by her granddaughter’s heart a sacrifice? What exactly did she give up? Or by some chance did she stand to gain something. Brook says, of course (🍷) she’s grateful for her grandmother helping get her and Chase back together – Tracy says, Brook is more than welcome – but like her dad said, kindness in this house usually comes at a price. Ned says, whatever the price was, he hopes she can afford it, and Brook says, let’s just say she’s glad she’s back at work. Olivia asks, what work? and Brook says she’s back at Deception. Ned asks, what about her music? and she says, he knows she can’t sing anymore. He says he thought she was putting together a list of artists to manage. Things were going well, right? Why give that up?

Diane says, maybe she should just wait in the lobby until Sonny gets back, but Nina says, now that she and Sonny are engaged, she was hoping his friends can be her friends. Diane says she might just have to settle for cordial, and Nina says, in the spirit of cordiality, maybe they can get past their differences and try to get along. Diane says, their differences? Like the time she shredded Nina on the stand, and got a judge to deny her visitation to see her grandson? Nina says, Diane was doing her job; it wasn’t personal. Diane says, no, it wasn’t, and Nina says, the least she can do is admire Diane’s skill. Diane says, and she admires Nina’s, and Nina says she doesn’t think Diane is as cynical as she wants the world to believe. Diane says, Nina’s got her. She’s absolutely right. In fact, what Nina sees standing before her is the warm and fuzzy Diane. Nina says, let her just throw something out there. As one woman speaking to another… Diane says she’s going to be charging Sonny for this conversation, but Nina says, this isn’t legal advice. This is just a get to know ya thing. Diane says, now she’s charging him double, and I can totally see her in a Noel Coward play. Nina says she loves her job at Crimson, but it wasn’t until she was in Nixon Falls that she realized the magazine shouldn’t be her whole life. Diane asks if she’s considered a puppy, and Nina says she has a family, a small one; a daughter and two grandchildren who are in her thoughts. Is there someone in Diane’s? Is there anyone special in her life? If not, why? I’ve never thought of it before, but other than Max being a boyfriend for a time, we’ve never seen Diane’s family.

Carly says, Sonny stopped by to talk to Donna, and Donna insisted her daddy make her pancakes. I get distracted by the way they’re standing around the moss bowl🎍, and Josslyn asks if he told Carly that she stopped by his office. Carly says, he did; he did not tell her why. Sonny says, that’s because it was a private matter between Josslyn and him, and Josslyn says, she asked him for a favor, and he said no. Sonny says he told her to have her friend come to him, but they don’t need to rehash this. He’s got to go. He asks Carly to tell Michael and Willow that he’s praying for them, and she says she will. He leaves, and Josslyn says she thought there was a schedule for visitations. Carly says, there is, but some things need to be said face-to-face, and Josslyn says, like what? Carly says, like Sonny and Nina are engaged.

Wiley asks if Willow is coming home, and Willow says she’s going to do her best. TJ scraps his sterile jumpsuit, and Michael asks if there’s anything he can do to make things easier for Willow. TJ says, it looks like he’s already doing it. Seeing all of them is the best medicine she can get. Sasha joins them, and says, looks like a party. She takes the phone, and says, how’s the guest of honor? Willow says, just happy to see everybody, and Sasha suggests she keep the kids entertained so Michael can have some time with Willow. Michael asks if Wiley wants some playtime with Aunt Sasha, and Wiley says he’ll ask Amelia. He whispers to Amelia, then listens, and tells them, she says, yes. Sasha says, let’s do it, and TJ asks if he can join. Sasha says, the more, the merrier, and they leave. Willow thanks Michael for bringing them, and he says he didn’t have much of a choice; Wiley insisted. She says she’s so scared, and he says, him too. One thing he does know is, they didn’t make it this far, they didn’t go to hell and back just to lose each other now. She says she wishes she could kiss him one last time, and he says, she will, but it’s not going to be the last time. This is just the beginning.

Carly tells Josslyn that they need to get to the hospital. Willow’s procedure is starting soon, and she wants to be there for Michael. Josslyn says she doesn’t know if Michael wants to see her right now, and Carly asks, what’s going on? Josslyn says, they had a fight. And now Sonny wants to officially make Nina a member of the family that she set out to destroy? Carly says, first of all, this family is just fine, and Sonny and Nina being engaged is kind of a relief. Josslyn asks how Carly can say that, and Carly says, Sonny’s committed to Nina, and she’s committed to Drew. Josslyn says, so no harm, no foul? but Carly says, there was a lot of harm and a lot of foul, but it’s just like a clean break. Josslyn wonders why Sonny didn’t tell her when she was alone with him in his office, and Carly asks, why would he? He knows how she feels about Nina. Josslyn says she hasn’t made that a secret, and Carly says, the secret here is why Josslyn went to see Sonny in the first place. Josslyn says, she told Carly; she was asking him for a favor. Carly says, Dex, and Josslyn says, yes. She went to see him about Dex. Carly asks, why? Did she want Sonny to give Dex a raise? Josslyn says, no. She wanted Sonny to fire him.

Anna says, so Holly just left town without so much as a farewell, and Robert says, at least she didn’t have to fake an escape from the towering inferno, third degree burns, and hospitalization. This time it was just goodbye. Anna says, it never is just goodbye with the two of them though, is it? and Robert says, they decided you can’t recapture the past, no matter how much you might want to. And this time when they said their farewells, they really meant them. Anna takes his hand, and says, sorry. Did Holly tell him about Ethan? Robert says, yeah, and all the trouble he’s in, and she asks if Holly told him that she was willing to go back to the Bureau to pay off his debts. He says, apparently, she decided on a shortcut. A deal with the devil… Selina Wu. He told her there were alternatives; that he wanted to help. She doesn’t want him involved. Anna says, Holly’s protecting him, which proves she still does really care about him. He says, caring was never the issue, and she asks, what is the issue? Is her name Diane?

Diane tells Nina that she’s sorry. There seems to be some kind of confusion that she wants to dispel Nina of. They’re not friends, and as such, questions into her personal life and relationships are unwelcome. She knows Nina is going through a tough time, wanting to see Willow and not being able to do so. She feels for Nina. Nina say she gets it. She’s never been able to make friends very easily. Just so Diane knows, she’d be with Willow right now. She’d be in the hospital room if she didn’t owe Sonny so much. She didn’t want to run into Carly or Michael, and have another clash. She doesn’t want to make Sonny’s life more complicated than she already has. Diane says she admires that restraint, and just so Nina knows, she hopes Nina really does make him happy. Nina says she does, when Sonny walks in and asks if everything is okay. Diane says, yeah. Congratulations. Sonny says, thanks, and Nina asks how it went with Carly and Donna. He says he and Donna made pancakes, and Diane suggests they talk in private, but Sonny says he was going to tell Nina anyway. Diane says, there’s talk going around town, but Sonny already knows that, and Sonny says, it looks like the DOJ may have made Carly an offer. Nina asks if they’re pressuring Carly to turn on Drew, but Sonny says, no. They’re pressuring Carly to turn on him.

Drew says, it’s no secret how Brook feels about music. She must have had a compelling reason to go back to Deception. Brook says, after all the craziness with Linc, she was craving stability and a little less drama, and Ned says, but she really enjoyed being a manager, and she was damn good at it. Brook says she realized she wants to write music, not manage it, and working back at Deception allows her the freedom to do that. Drew says, she’s got romance, she’s got freedom, she’s got creativity. It’s almost like she has her own fairy godmother. He looks at Tracy, and Brook says, you could say that. Drew asks if Tracy doesn’t wish she had one. She could wish herself straight back to Amsterdam. Tracy says she could also buy a plane ticket, and everyone says, don’t let us stop you, in unison. Tracy says, wow. If she didn’t know better, she’d say her loving family couldn’t wait to get rid of her. Drew says, come on. They don’t feel that way… Do you? Everyone gives soap looks.

Tracy says, as much as she hates disappointing her loved ones, she has no plans on leaving any time soon. Don’t all cheer at once. Brook says she’s glad Tracy is here, and not just because Tracy helped get her and Chase back together. Tracy tells her that she’d say she did a little more than help, and Olivia says, and she has. Ned says, repeatedly, and Brook says, Tracy is always there when she needs her, even if it’s just to tell her no. Tracy asks when she’s ever denied Brook anything, and Ned says, this is all too much. Olivia says, on that happy note, she has to go. Big meeting at the MetroCourt. Tracy says, no words of reassurance for her mother-in-law? and Olivia says she has plenty of words for Tracy.

Ned follows Olivia out, and tells her that he’s not the one who turned them in. How can he convince her? Olivia says, as it happens, she ran into Carly at the MetroCourt last night. It was pretty tense. Carly was demanding to know why she didn’t kick him to the curb. He says, maybe because he’s her husband, and she says, and Carly’s her best friend. That’s not nothing. And asks much as she wants to believe him, the thing she can’t get out of her mind, he flat out accused Carly and Drew of insider trading, and the next thing anybody knows, somebody blows the whistle. He says, somebody, but not him.

Nina says, to think she felt sorry for Carly that she has to worry about Michael and Willow during all this, and now she’s going to throw Sonny under the bus to save herself? Sonny says, she won’t, but Nina asks how he can know that. Diane says she really thinks she and Sonny… but Sonny says, no. He wants Nina to hear it. It’s not the first time the Feds have come after him using someone who’s close to him. Nina says she knows Carly told him that she wouldn’t do it, but what else is she going to say? He’s making pancakes for the daughter he shares with her. She had to have been tempted. He says he told her that she should do it. The Feds come after him, he’s prepared. She made it clear she won’t do it. Nina says, what if the Feds come to Carly and make her choose between her children and him?

Michael tells Sasha that Willow’s asking for her, and she leaves. TJ says he should go check on the preparations. He’ll see Michael in a minute, and Michael sees Wiley coloring. He says he’s going to let Wiley in on a little secret. Color outside the lines. That hardly seems Michael type advice.

Carly asks if Dex wants out or does Josslyn want Dex out. Josslyn says, Dex wants out, and Carly says, then Dex can tell Sonny himself. Josslyn tells her, that’s what Sonny said, and Carly says, sounds like Sonny. What did Dex say? Josslyn says, he wasn’t happy about it at first, but… Carly says, he knew her heart was in the right place. Is this what’s going on with her and Michael? Josslyn says, Michael just doesn’t approve of her and Dex, and Carly says, overprotective big brother. Josslyn says, something like that, but if he needs them, that’s all that matters, and Carly says, he needs them. So let’s go.

Willow picks up the phone, and Sasha says, she rang? Willow says she did. She thought if anyone could understand, it was Sasha. She remembers when Sasha was in isolation. Sasha says she hated it, but she made it through, and so will Willow. Willow says, ever since she’s been in here, she’s felt like a soldier in a foxhole, and Sasha says, that just means Willow is a fighter, which they already knew. Willow says, it got her thinking. You hear about soldiers that with their last dying breath, call out for their mothers. If worse comes to worse, who does she call out for? The mother who raised her and turned out to be a fraud and a murderer, or the mother who gave birth to her and couldn’t stand her until she found out they were related? Sasha doesn’t need to answer that; she’s just being silly. Sasha says, it’s not silly. It’s just something she won’t know until it happens, and it’s not going to. Willow says, they don’t know that, but Sasha says, they know they’re in the homestretch. So don’t think about dying; think about living. Think about Michael and Wiley and Amelia. Think about all the people who love her so much, and need her. Today is just like any other day in her life, except she’s been given a great gift. Willow knows how precious life is, and how quickly it can disappear, so she can be the soldier who fights for every breath, for every second, and win. Willow says, no wonder Sasha was such a hit on TV. She can sell anything. Even hope.

Carly and Josslyn find Michael, and Carly asks if they missed the kids. Michael says, the nanny just took them home, but Wiley left him a crayon so he wouldn’t miss mommy. Carly says she loves Wiley, and she loves Michael so much. He says he loves her too, and they hug. He says, hi to Josslyn, and Carly says, everything is okay, right? Josslyn says, everything is fine. All that matters is that Willow gets better, right? Michael says, right.

Sonny says, Carly isn’t giving him up, and Nina says she’s sure he knows best. She has to go to the MetroCourt. She loves him. Just let her know how he is; let her know how Willow is. He says he’ll keep her posted. Willow is in good hands; so is he. Nina leaves, and Sonny tells Diane, go ahead. Tell him what she knows that he doesn’t.

Robert says, Holly’s a friend, and Anna says, he comes barging into her house, when she’s jetlagged and exhausted, demanding they talk. He bites Valentin’s head off, all because, she thinks, he’s love torn. He says he had a moment of weakness, but she says, no, he was flummoxed about how two bright, beautiful women could be interested in him. He says he wasn’t flummoxed or love torn, and she says, conflicted, confused, whatever. She thinks maybe Holly did him a favor by bowing out. Because while it might be disappointing not to have two women vying for his affections, on the bright side, he still does have one.

Olivia says she’s doing her best to stand by Ned. She knows how much ELQ means to him, and she knows how hurt he was when he felt pushed aside. He says he sided with Valentin because it was the right thing to do for ELQ. Yes, he lashed out when he thought the company – their family legacy – was being threatened by a hostile takeover, but he’s not a snitch and he’s going to prove it to her. She asks what he’s going to do, and he says, show her once and for all that he’s the man she married; a man deserving of her love and her trust. He kisses her, and she asks him to promise her that he’s not going to do anything stupid. She leaves, and Tracy says, that’s touching, but if he asks her, he’s wasting his time.

Drew says he gets the impression Brook is less than thrilled having her grandmother back, and she says she loves her grandmother, and owes her big time. He says, for helping her and Chase get back together, and she asks where he heard about that. He says, the tenth or eleventh time it was said, he picked up on it, and Brook says, she can be very generous, and he says, but? She says, but her grandmother’s generosity usually comes with a price.

Olivia asks if she’s late or Nina is early, and Nina tells her, let’s just say, we’re both here at exactly the right moment. Olivia says she’ll take it. She sees Nina’s ring, and says, that’s quite a rock. She sees why Nina and Sonny were in such a good mood last night. Nina says, they’re engaged, and Olivia says, congratulations. She wishes them every happiness, and Nina thanks her. She says, in case Olivia was wondering, Sonny already told the news to Carly and Donna, and they all made pancakes together. Olivia says, so Carly’s taking it in stride, and Nina says, apparently. She’s sure Carly will tell Olivia how she really feels, given how close they are. Olivia says, not anymore. Carly can’t understand why she hasn’t kicked Ned to the curb for what he did to her and Drew. Nina asks, what did Ned say? and Olivia says, Ned swears up and down he didn’t turn them in to the SEC, and Nina asks if Olivia believes him. Olivia says she’d really like to, but she keeps asking herself; if Ned didn’t do it, who did?

Diane says, it’s just a rumor, but Sonny said himself, it’s not the first time the Feds have come after him using someone close to him, and who’s closer to him than Carly? Sonny asks if the rumors say who gave up Carly and Drew, and Diane says, no. The insider trading tip was anonymous, but there’s a strong suspicion that it was Ned Quartermaine. He tells her, that’s what Carly says, but why would Ned do that to Carly and Drew a year after the fact? Now that the Feds are involved, he thinks Carly and Drew are just a means to an end. Diane says, so he thinks the Feds have been monitoring him, and saw Drew and Carly mess up, and pointed the SEC in her direction in order to pressure her to flip on him? That would mean there was no insider tip, and this whole thing was just an excuse to get this investigation rolling. That means the SEC is doing the Justice Department a favor. Sonny says, maybe, but he’s not letting Ned off the hook just yet, because he’s more than capable of stabbing Drew and Carly in the back. Do him a favor. Find out how and why the Feds got involved. Anything she can come up with. She says she’s pretty much exhausted all her resources, and he says, what about the DA? She says, Robert Scorpio? Why would the District Attorney of Port Charles have any information as to the government’s investigation? He says, it’s no secret that Robert has strong ties to DC through the Bureau, and she asks, what makes him think Robert would tell her? He says, because she’s the best. She has a way of being persuasive. She says she has to go, and he says, to see Carly? She says, confidential. She can’t possibly tell him. And as for Robert Scorpio, she’ll think about it. Before she goes, he tells her, don’t think too long. She leaves, and Sonny tells the guard, bring the car around now.

Carly and Josslyn come to the window, and Michael says, more of Willow’s fan club. Carly takes the phone, and says, they just want to tell her how much they love her. Josslyn says, she’s the best sister-in-law ever. Willow says, back at her, and TJ says he’s sorry, but he means it this time. Everyone leaves except Michael, and he says he had a speech planned, all these things he was going to say, but right now all that matters is she knows how much he loves her. She says she loves him too, and he leaves. She hangs up the phone, and tells TJ that she’s ready.

Robert tells Anna that as far as he knows, Diane isn’t interested anymore, beyond them sparring in court. Diane comes in, and Anna says, why doesn’t he ask her? She’s going to take her cue. She leaves, and Diane and Robert look at each other.

Nina says, for what it’s worth (🍷), she’s sorry Olivia has cause to doubt Ned, and Olivia says, her too. Nina tells her, she can’t believe she’s saying this, but poor Carly and Drew to be put in this position, and Olivia says, what position? Nina says, it’s just rumors; she shouldn’t have said anything. Olivia says, where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and knowledge is power. Why doesn’t Nina tell her the rumors, and she’ll decide for herself if she wants to believe them. Nina tells her, like she said, it’s just talk, but it seems like the government is using Carly and Drew’s legal problems to get to Sonny.

In the foyer, Ned asks if Tracy is home to stay, and she asks if that would be a problem. He says, of course (🍷) not, but you know what they say about idle hands. She says, don’t worry. She knows how to stay busy. He says, that’s what he’s afraid of.

Brook says, what makes Drew think he owes Tracy anything? and he says, maybe because she was trying so hard to sell everybody on the joys of being back at Deception. She says she loves her job; it’s steady and plays to her strengths. He says he knows what music means to her, writing it and managing artists, so if anything or anyone is making her choose… Tracy comes in and says she needs to borrow her granddaughter, and Drew leaves, turning to look at Brook before going out the door.

Sasha says, Willow may look fragile, but she’s tough as nails, and Michael thanks her for coming. She asks him to call her when Willow’s awake, and leaves. Josslyn says, Sasha’s right. Willow is unstoppable. Carly tells Michael that he and Willow love each other like crazy. Now there’s Wiley and Amelia, and their love is stronger than ever. Don’t forget that. She hugs him, and Sonny walks in.

TJ asks if Willow is ready, and she says she can’t wait. He tells her, like he said before, all she needs to do is sit back and relax. Let the bone marrow do its thing. If all goes well, she’ll have nothing but healthy cells in her body, and a whole new lease on life. The transplant begins, and Willow flashes back to bringing Amelia home, and telling Wiley that Amelia will need his help.

On (presumably) Tuesday, Curtis says he has two choices, give up or give in; Portia says she has other options; Spencer says, it’s funny how your life can change in an instant; and Drew says, the less someone knows, the better.

🕺🏻 Still Duke To Me…

He’s allowed in the clubhouse since he was once on GH.

🍊 What Happens In the OC…

Frankly, I was glad to see Tamra go. Now we have to watch her very lit throughout the season. Cringing at the thought.

🍸 Welcome To the Cheap Seats…

He’s not just the most awful human being on earth, a title once only held by Jax, he’s also an idiot.

Another genius and more tidbits.

About that open relationship thing.

Brittany deserves to be heard. Apparently she tamed the previously reigning king of awful people. Maybe. We’ll see.

🍑 Will Work For Hair Extensions…

I could definitely see her at the casino. It kind of bummed me out when the news of their divorce broke. Surprisingly, I liked their Don’t Be Tardy show with its kookie family vibe. Oh well.

👨🏻‍💼 Likes and Dislikes…

Andy reveals all. Well, some anyway.

⚰️ Guessing Game…

Something to ponder.

🐈‍⬛ Karl’s Furry Muse…

It’s not always about the dog… although it should be. (Just kidding. Kind of.)

🐡 Quotes of the Week

Ends are not bad things, they just mean that something else is about to begin. And there are many things that don’t really end, anyway, they just begin again in a new way. Ends are not bad and many ends aren’t really an ending; some things are never-ending. – C. JoyBell C.

When you’re through changing, you’re through. – Martha Stewart

The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries.René Descartes

If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. – Edmund Burke

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.Albert Einstein

Animals are such agreeable friends — they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. – George Eliot

🪦 By hero, we tend to mean a heightened man who, more than other men, possesses qualities of courage, loyalty, resourcefulness, charisma, above all, selflessness. He is an example of right behavior; the sort of man who risks his life to protect his society’s values, sacrificing his personal needs for those of the community. Paul Zweig

🙃 And In Confusion…

Enjoy your long weekend if weekends are on your agenda in this new world. If not, enjoy whatever you want to call it. Join me on Monday really Tuesday for what’s on Deck and a reunion of awful Summer people – GH will be a rerun. Until then, stay safe, stay not chewing with your mouth open, and stay remembering, it’s not always quid pro quo. There are such things as altruism and sacrifice.

May 25, 2023 – Curtis Picks a Lane, Backstory, Are They On, The Usual, VanderTalk, Future Fear, Shark Host, Pets (!) Celebrate & Dream

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Donna runs into Sonny’s old kitchen – the moss bowl🎍 displayed prominently – and hugs him. She asks if he’s going to have breakfast with her and mommy, but he says, that depends on what’s on the menu. Carly says, what else? Something from a box. Sonny tells Donna to get dressed and they’ll figure something else out. Donna runs out, and Sonny says he should have asked Carly if it was all right first, but she says, it’s fine. He says he has news, and she says, let her guess; he’s getting married. He says, she heard, but she says she saw. She was at the MetroCourt last night. She guesses congratulations are in order.

Nina tells Ava that she has no choice. She has one option. It’s time for the gloves to come off. She can’t continue to let Carly come between her and her family. Ava says, which is why Nina stupidly and compulsively sicced the SEC on her when it could definitely backfire, and tank not only her relationship with Sonny, but any potential relationship with her daughter. Nina says she knows. She has to make sure the charges against Carly stick, and that she goes away for a good, long time.

TJ leaves another message for Molly, and says he won’t keep blowing up her phone. He just didn’t remember if he said he was sorry in that last message, but he is, and he loves her. Just call him back, or even better, come home. There’s a knock at the door, and he opens it to Stella. He says, this is a surprise, and she says, and by the look on his face, not a welcome one. He says, just the opposite. She’s exactly who he needs. They hug.

TempMolly into Alexis’s house, and hugs her, crying. Sam asks, what’s wrong? and Molly says, everything’s falling apart.

TJ says he’s always happy to see Stella, and she says, something’s weighing on him. She can tell. What is it?

Jordan says, Portia is giving her way too much credit, but Portia says she’s actually not giving Jordan enough. Jordan tells her, stop. She’s not the person Portia thinks she is. Portia says, that’s dramatic, and Jordan says she just means she doesn’t deserve all this praise, especially considering what she’s done. Portia asks, why? What has she done? Curtis comes out of the elevator.

Sam says she thought Alexis said everything was fine. Alexis says, it’s not life-threatening. Everything is going to be fine. Molly hugs her again, when Kristina comes out, and asks, what’s wrong? Molly says she’s been diagnosed with endometriosis, and Alexis says, so the biopsy confirmed it. Kristina asks, how bad is it? and Molly says, it’s not good. It’s not going to kill her or anything, but it’s when the tissue from the uterus grows outside the uterus. Sam says she’s heard of it. It’s really painful, isn’t it? Molly says, it can be. It comes and goes. Sam says she’s so sorry, and Kristina says, me too. Alexis says, me three, and Sam asks what they can do for her. Molly says, that’s just it; there’s nothing to do. Kristina says, the doctors can give her something for the pain, right? and Molly says, the pain is manageable. It’s the rest. She and TJ may never be able to have a baby.

TJ says, he and Molly have been trying to get pregnant, and Stella says, that’s wonderful… but she’s guessing they’re having a hard time. He says, they just found out because of medical challenges, it might not happen for them, and she says she’s so sorry. She can see he’s heartbroken, and she imagines Molly is too. He says, and he didn’t know.

Portia tells Curtis that she was just thanking Jordan for all she did for Trina, but of course (🍷) she’s too humble to accept it. Curtis says he does appreciate Jordan running interference while they were on the island, and Jordan says, and while she was safe in Port Charles, he was the one in harm’s way. Portia says she thanks them both. Because of their team work, Trina’s home. A nurse approaches them, and says she has a question for Portia about a patient. Portia says, of course (🍷), and leaves with her. Curtis asks what he walked in on. It looked like Jordan was about to say something to Portia. Jordan says, about their kiss? She considered it. He asks her to promise him she won’t do that, and she says, why? Because he’s still not sure what it meant? Or because he decided it didn’t matter? Anna joins them, and after saying hello to her, Curtis says he should get going. He leaves, and Anna says, the air’s a bit charged in here.

Curtis walks over to Portia, and she asks if he needs her. He says, that’s exactly what he’s been trying to figure out.

Nina tells Ava that she’s been assured by Martin that no one will find out she was behind the anonymous tip; she’d be protected. Ava says, from the government finding out maybe, but there are people in Port Charles can put two and two together. Nina says she gets that. That’s why she needs Carly gone. Without Carly looming over everything, she has a clear path to be with Sonny, and try to forge a relationship with her daughter. Ava says, she’s dreaming big, and Nina says, why not? Doesn’t she get to be happy? To be with the man she loves and try to get to know her daughter? Why does Carly get the storybook ending while the rest of us are left with nothing?

Sonny says he knows Nina’s not Carly’s first choice, and Carly says, it’s not her choice. It’s Sonny’s life and he’s got to live it. He says, that’s the plan, and she asks why he came by, to fill her in? He says he wanted to tell Donna and the moss bowl🎍, but he didn’t know if Carly wanted him to do it alone or if they should do it together. She asks, what’s the rush? Did he and Nina set a date? He says, nothing like that. It’s just that Avery saw Nina’s engagement ring. She says, they all know how Avery likes to spread the good news, and he says he’s going to tell all his kids, obviously, but he didn’t want to tell Donna without talking to her first. She says she’ll follow his lead, and he says, she’s refolding towels she already folded. She tells him that she’s really distracted right now, and he asks if she wants to tell him why.

Carly says, Sonny just missed Diane. Diane was here discussing the SEC’s case against her. He says he asked Josslyn about that, and she asks where he saw Josslyn. He asks if Diane has a good defense teed up, and she says, unfortunately, the case against her is very strong, so even a lawyer as skilled as Diane has an uphill battle ahead. He says, there’s a chance the SEC was pointed at her to get to him.

TJ tells Stella, they were both blindsided. They went from this vague idea of wanting to start family in the future, to realizing they want a child now, to finding out they can’t – at least not the conventional way. She says, it’s a delicate subject matter for sure, even for partners like him and Molly who have been together forever. He says he keeps sticking his foot in his mouth, and she says, here’s the thing. Yes, this is happening to both of them, but right now, Molly can’t see that. This is agony for her. The sensible woman he’s used to is still there, but this could take her a while to find her way. He says, so what does he do? and she says, nothing but pray.

Molly says, as to the severity of her condition, the chances of conceiving are incredibly low, but Kristina says, not impossible though, right? Molly tells them, it wasn’t actually said, but strongly implied, and Sam says she’s sorry. Alexis asks what they can do, but Kristina says, nothing, right Molly? Molly is the one who always has everything figured out. Molly says, not this time, and Kristina says she’s sure the doctor gave Molly and TJ other options, like adoption and IVF… Alexis makes a cutting motion, and says, not at this time, but Kristina says, it’s Molly they’re talking about. She identifies the problem, then boom… Molly tells Kristina, just stop, and walks out. Kristina wonders what she said.

Anna asks if Jordan wants to talk about it, but Jordan says she doesn’t want to keep Anna from whatever she came here to do. Anna says she’s finished with her phlebotomy, and has a little time before her next debrief with the WSB, and Jordan asks how she’s feeling. Anna was still recuperating in the hospital when she charged off to Greenland. Anna says she feels like a million bucks, but Jordan doesn’t look so good after whatever that thing was with Curtis. Jordan says she’s tried to move on; to get over Curtis and put the whole marriage in the rearview. Anna asks how that’s working for her, and Jordan says she guesses what they say is accurate; objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear.

Portia asks why everyone is talking in riddles today, and Curtis asks what she means. She says, Jordan alluded to doing something wrong, and when she asked what it was, Jordan wouldn’t say. He says, she knows how by-the-book Jordan tries to be. She had to bend a lot of professional rules to help Trina. Portia says, maybe. Is he going to leave her hanging too? He says, no. He wants to talk about him and her.

Alexis goes outside, and Kristina asks Sam to tell her what she did wrong, since she’s become so skilled at it. Sam says she’s sorry. Kristina is really excited about her project, and she… Kristina says, completely rained on her parade, and Sam says, yes. Kristina says, Sam made some decent points, and Sam says she knows, but it was the wrong time and place. She actually learned something from mom, that sometimes encouragement is better than a fix. Kristina says, which is exactly the mistake she just made with Molly.

Alexis tells Molly, she meant well. Her execution left a little to be desired, that’s all. Molly says she knows. Krissy isn’t the problem. She’s just feeling a little overwhelmed right now in the most unfamiliar way. She hates it. Alexis says, because she feels not in control, but Molly says, because she feels like a failure.

Stella brings TJ coffee, and says, it’s one of those situations where it’s all you can do. No actions to take; certainly no one to blame. He says, but Molly’s blaming herself, and Stella says, right now she is. Right now, she’s up, she’s down, she’s all over the place. She’s mourning a dream. He is too, and she’s not trying to minimize that, but as a woman… He says, it’s different, and she says, yes. The best advice she can give him is to know that. Molly is going through something really difficult that he can’t fully understand, but he can love her. Keep reminding her of that. Just be there. He says, that, he can do.

Jordan wonders if Anna remembers when she asked for advice last summer, and Anna says, Jordan asked if she’d ever come clean to an ex about something that would impact his relationship. She’s assuming by whatever’s going on with Curtis and Portia, that information came out. Jordan says, Anna suggested she question her motivation for revealing the truth, and yes, she wanted to protect Curtis, but that wasn’t the only reason. So ultimately, she didn’t tell him. Anna says, but someone did. Is that why things are tense between the two of them? He’s angry with her because she stayed silent? Jordan says, Curtis is far from angry, and now there’s a new secret weighing on her conscience.

Curtis asks if Portia has time to talk, and she says, he’s her husband. If she doesn’t have time, she’ll make time. He says his experience in Greenland got him to thinking, and she says she was afraid she was never going to see him again. He says, same here. He doesn’t want to leave anything between them unsaid.

Ava tells Nina, Carly may be on her way to prison for insider trading. She hardly calls that a storybook ending. Nina says, Carly needs to do some serious time. Let’s not forget, she’s going to prison for something she actually did. Ava says, and she’ll be conveniently out of Nina’s way, and Nina says, finally Carly won’t be swooping in every time she tries to have a conversation with Willow. Ava says, she doesn’t have an issue with Carly going away; her issue is with Nina blowing up her own life to make that happen.

Sonny tells Carly that he has business dealings with a group of people who have very powerful enemies. In government, he thinks, and they’ve targeted him at least once that he knows of. Now he thinks they’re coming after Carly to get to him. Carly asks how that would work, and Sonny says, the SEC only started coming after her after he started dealing with these people. Carly says, that explains the timing. Why months after the failed merger, the SEC started asking her questions. He says, somebody’s playing the long game. They’re threatening her so she’ll flip on him. Once he’s out of the picture, it compromises the people he’s working with. She says she gets it, except for Ned. Sometimes the simplest solution is the truth. Ned threatened to turn her and Drew in to the SEC, and he did it. Sonny says, at some point, the justice system is going to figure out that by her being in trouble is the easiest way to get to him. She tells him, Diane says that’s already happening, and he says, based on what? She says, on confirmed intel here in the DA’s office, and Sonny says, they’re talking on a federal level, right? Carly tells him that the US Attorney may cut a deal if she turns state’s evidence against him, and he says, do it. He can get through this. He’ll be in court, he’ll fight the charges. She says, he doesn’t know that. He can’t control the narrative. He says he has Diane. She’s fantastic. She’ll get him through it. Carly says, no. She appreciates his nobility, but no. He says, this has nothing to do with being noble, but she says, yes, it’s noble. She appreciates him stepping up for her, especially given their recent history, but no. It’s a hard no.

Sonny says, Carly’s not thinking this through, and she says, it’s all she’s been thinking about. He says, it’s too late to roll the dice, but she says she’s not. He asks what he’s supposed to do. Just let the mother of his children go to prison? She says, it’s not like she’s going to Pentenville. Even if she goes down for insider trading, it’ll be a minimum security situation for a couple of years. It won’t be fun. She’ll hate it. She’ll hate being away from her kids, but hell, she’s been through worse. He says, so it’s either/or. Unless Diane pulls a rabbit out of her hat, Carly is either going to have to turn him into the Feds or do time. She says, there’s another option. Turn on Drew.

Ava asks if Nina is really willing to risk the possible consequences just to get revenge, and Nina says, it’s not about revenge… Okay, maybe when it all first started, it was about revenge, but it’s not anymore. It’s such a mess, and she’s just trying to hold on to her relationship and trying to build a foundation with her daughter. Unless Ava doesn’t want that for her. Ava says, stop it. Of course (🍷) she does. She’s on Nina’s side. She’s made some hasty and regrettable decisions; decisions that have had real ramifications. She just wants to make sure Nina is considering what hers might be. Nina says, she knows. If the end result is for her daughter to not turn to Carly, and God willing, turn to her, any ramifications are worth it.

Kristina says she feels terrible, but Sam says, don’t. Kristina was just trying to encourage Molly. She gets it, and she’s sure Molly will too. Kristina says she’s never seen Molly like that, and Sam says, she knows, but fertility issues are a whole different beast. It’s like being dropped down into the most barren and inhospitable place, and you’re thinking it’s your fault you’re there. Kristina says she forgets sometimes that Sam struggled to get pregnant, and Sam says, that’s something she’ll never forget, but I still can’t remember it. Kristina says, this is crazy. She can’t possibly think it’s her fault. Sam says, she does. Kristina’s right, she shouldn’t, but she does. Her body is betraying her. it’s the worst, most isolating feeling ever. So their rational, level-headed Molly isn’t going to be so rational about this. It’s not possible.

Alexis says, it’s not her fault, and Molly says she knows that intellectually. Alexis says, feeling it’s another thing, and Molly says, what if she’d gone to the doctor sooner? What if she’d taken charge of her health the way she’s taken charge of everything else in her life? Maybe this wouldn’t be happening. Alexis says, maybes aren’t going to help anything right now, because the truth is, she’ll never know. So the important thing is to just stay in the here and now. Molly says she despises the here and now, and Alexis asks how TJ is handling it. Molly says, just another area where she screwed up, and Alexis says, there’s no sure way to navigate this. Molly says, TJ is worried about her. He’s surprised she suffered in silence for so long, which is when she got super defensive, and then came here. Alexis says, this is raw. It’s going to take some time, and Molly has to give it some time. She knows Molly and TJ will figure it out. Molly says, you know something strange? A few months ago, it wasn’t even something she was sure she wanted. Alexis says, to be pregnant? and Molly says, they’d talked about having kids, but it was way down the list. So why is she so devastated?

Stella asks what she can do for TJ, and he says, she can distract him. What brought her back to town? She says, family of course (🍷). How’s Curtis? TJ says, she hasn’t been to see him yet? and she says, this was her first stop. He says, getting the lay of the land, and she asks if she’s that obvious. He says, only to him, and she says she felt badly about the conversation she had with Trina the night of the wedding. the whole reason she skipped the ceremony was so she wouldn’t complicate things, and she ended up complicating them anyway. He says, it’s not her fault; the truth was bound to come out. She says she’s sorry she ran off, and at the worst possible time. First, all the upheaval with the family, then the craziness with Trina getting kidnapped? He says, inadvertently, but yeah, and she says, when she read about what happened on that ship, she had to come back. He says, thank God everyone’s in one piece, except for Victor Cassadine. She says, good riddance. So did the ordeal bring everyone closer together? He says, Trina’s back at home. Things seem to be fine between her and Portia. Stella says, what about Curtis and Portia? and he says, that’s another story.

Anna says, you guys kissed? and Jordan says, it would have gone even further if she hadn’t stopped it. Anna says, wow. What does she think this means? Jordan says, that’s the problem; she doesn’t know. What’s worse is, she doesn’t think Curtis knows either.

Curtis and Portia go to her office, and Curtis says, he and Portia have been in limbo for a while now, and he doesn’t want it to go on any longer. She asks what that means. That he’s decided to forgive her, or is he saying he’s officially ending things?

Ava says, it sounds like Nina’s mind is made up, and Nina says, it is. Ava asks, what’s the plan? How is she going to make things worse for Carly than she’s already made them? Nina says she’s still figuring things out. Ava is going to think she’s callous, but from what she understands, Diane is only Carly’s attorney. Ava says, so Drew has separate representation, and Nina says, right. So it’s going to be tough to present a united front when you’re being advised by different attorneys. She thinks that’s fertile ground for miscommunication and mistrust to grow. Ava says, Nina wants to break up Drew and Carly, but Nina says, it’s bigger than that. She wants Drew to believe Carly will turn on him, so he turns on her first.

Carly says, Sonny is definitely the biggest get, but the CEO of a big company and a Quartermaine; Drew has a target on his back too. Sonny says, too bad she won’t consider it either, but she says, no, not for a second. She’s guilty. He says, that’s never mattered before, and she says she did it. She got insider information, and she acted on it. Despite Michael and Drew telling her not to. He says, probably because they told her not to, and she says she’s not going to let someone else pay for her mistakes. He asks where that leaves her. When it comes to prison, it doesn’t matter the level of security, it’s not an option.

Kristina hates that she made Molly feel worse, but Sam says, she didn’t mean to. Kristina says, maybe not consciously, but if she’s being honest, she’s still licking her wounds from their previous conversation. Molly would never do something like this. She would never try to execute a half-baked plan like this, and she’s envious of that. Sam says, they’re all envious of how big Kristina dreams. She and Molly wish their imaginations stretched as far. Kristina says, they’re envious of how strong Sam is. She’s the most resilient Davis… Sam says she doesn’t know about that, and Kristina says, at least Sam and Molly aren’t the ones keeping mom up at night. Sam says she can assure Kristina, as a mother, you worry about all your kids all the time. It’s part of the job. Kristina says, what if Molly never gets to do that job? and Sam says, then they’re going to have her back, like they always do. She puts her arm around Kristina.

Alexis says, if she could take the pain away from Molly, she would, but she can’t. She’s Molly’s mother, but she was a lawyer. Molly says, that’s relevant how? and Alexis says, as Molly’s mother, she can console her, but as a coach, she can help Molly game this out. So tell her, who does  she need more right now? Molly falls into Alexis’s arms, and cries. Alexis says, mommy it is.

Stella asks if TJ thinks Portia and Curtis are over, but he says he doesn’t know. All he knows is, Curtis still hasn’t moved back home. She says she was afraid of that. Curtis has always placed a premium on transparency. TJ says, that’s basically why Curtis and his mom got divorced, and she says, speaking of Jordan. Was Curtis upset to find out she knew about Trina? He says, Curtis was hurt, but he also understood it wasn’t his mom’s story to tell, and she says, it sounds like Curtis is on better terms with his ex-wife than his current wife.

Jordan tells Anna, Curtis was so insistent that he not tell Portia about their kiss. It’s like she’s gone from being his ex-wife to being his dirty little secret. Anna says she sees how that would sting, but her instinct is telling her that this whole situation is confusing for everyone involved, and that Curtis is trying to navigate it without hurting anyone. Jordan says, it’s impossible. Whether he decides to give their relationship another chance, or chooses to go back with Portia, one of them is going to get hurt. Deeply.

Portia tells Curtis that she knows she made a monumental mistake, but she won’t accept the end of their marriage. Marcus told her that she should fight for what she wants, and what she wants is him. She wants to fight for him, for them, for what they’ve built together. Please don’t throw it away. He says he doesn’t intend to. There’s a lot to sort through. He can’t guarantee there’s a way forward for them, but they’ll never know unless they try. She asks what that looks like. Dating? Therapy? He says, let’s start with me moving back home.

Molly comes back inside with Alexis, and Kristina says she’s sorry. What she should have said is, she loves Molly and she’s here for anything Molly needs. Sam says, they all are, and Alexis says, always. Molly thanks them, and says she’s sorry for being so on edge. Sam tells her not to apologize. What she’s going through is real and heavy, and she gets to feel all the feelings. Molly says, some more pleasant than others, and Sam says, they’re in her corner, putting her arm around Molly. Kristina says, Davis girls unite, and they put their hands together. Alexis joins them, and Molly says she prays she and TJ have a family, but even if it never happens, she’s so grateful for the family she already has.

TJ hugs Stella, and says he’s so happy she’s back. She says, here’s hoping his uncle feels the same way, and TJ says, of course (🍷) he will. She says she’s not so sure, but she does know this. Whether it’s TJ and Molly, Curtis and Portia, or this family that needs mending, love is always worth fighting for. She kisses him on the cheek, and leaves.

Portia says, Curtis is coming back home? and he says, unless she has any objections. She says, objections? No. She’s been hoping and praying for this. He says, then he’ll move his things in right away. He’ll be staying in the guest room. She says, if that’s what he thinks is best, and he says he does, but if that’s not enough for her… She says, it’s plenty. She just wants him back home, and will do whatever it takes to make it happen. It’s not about pride for her. He says, it’s not going to happen overnight, and she says she can be patient. Because she knows it’s just the first step to them becoming a family again.

Jordan thanks Anna for listening, and Anna says, of course (🍷). Anytime. Jordan says she didn’t mean to make Anna late for her meeting, and Anna says, Jordan makes it sound so civil. And mutual, as if she has a choice in the matter. Jordan asks if she’s worried, and Anna says she’s skated this line with the WSB before. She’s thinking an association that’s gone on this long isn’t easily broken. Jordan says, so she’s realizing, and Anna asks what she’s going to do. Jordan says she has two choices. She can either bow out, or she can go after what she wants, but does she even have the right to do that if it means destroying the life of another woman?

Ava says, Nina has her work cut out for her. Does she really see a stand-up guy like Drew Cain flipping on his girlfriend? Sending her to prison, no matter how much she deserves it; no matter how guilty she is? Nina says she can, under the right circumstances, and Ava says, which are? Nina says, first, they need Drew to know he didn’t do anything wrong. They don’t even know if he was the one who gave Carly the information about the merger; it could have been Michael. Nina bets Drew didn’t even want her to invest in Aurora, but Carly probably did what she always does. She barged in, she went after what she wants. She doesn’t think about anyone else’s feelings… Ava says, stop. She’s getting off track here now. She’s not trying to rain on Nina’s parade, she’s just wondering how realistic it is to expect Drew to give up Carly. Nina says, it’s not unrealistic to expect Carly to give him up, and Ava says, if it was Sonny or Jason, she’d say absolutely not, but with Drew, there is room for doubt. The relationship is relatively new. Maybe threatened with serious prison time, Carly would give him up, but it’s not certain. Nina says, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if Carly would turn Drew in. The only thing that matters is that Drew believes that she would. They need Drew to get this information from somebody he trusts; that Carly is planning on turning state’s evidence against him. Ava says, neither of them fits that description, and Nina says, no, but she can think of someone who does.

Carly says, Drew has a plan, and Sonny asks if it’s a good one. Carly says, it’s a long shot, and she still may lose everything. Donna runs in, and Carly says she loves Donna’s outfit. Sonny says, she looks sharp, and Donna asks if they can make pancakes. Sonny says, if she’s serious, because he’ll need her help, and Carly says, those chocolate chips aren’t going to make it there on their own. Donna says, they can count on her, and Carly says she knows they can, because she’s such a big girl. And because of that, she and Donna’s daddy need to talk to her about some changes coming up. Donna says, fun changes? and Sonny says, everything’s going to work out. Carly tells her, what daddy said, but she looks pretty worried.

Tomorrow, Tracy asks when she’s ever denied Brook anything; Robert tells Anna, something has happened, and it’s all his fault; Drew says, there’s a way out of it, and they’ll find it; and Sonny wants to know what someone knows and he doesn’t.

🕶 Before He Was Brick…

Very cool story.

🧼 Memorial Day Soap…

ABC will be airing a GH will rerun with both Rory and Epiphany.

🥱 No Surprises Here…

Teresa storms off.

Bo Dietl isn’t having Louie’s lies.

🍸 If Yesterday Wasn’t Enough…

Ariana has more revelations.

Ariana claps back and more.

Charli might be questionable as far as truth goes, but she has surprising insight on the former prom beauty queen.

A replay of the action.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1375356/vanderpump-rules-reunion-part-one-every-bombshell-from-the-explosive-scandoval-showdown

⚰️ Fear Coming Up…

Theories on PADRE.

https://screenrant.com/fear-walking-dead-season-8-troy-return-theory-padre/?newsletter_popup=1

Another reunion.

https://comicbook.com/tv-shows/news/fear-the-walking-dead-season-8-episode-3-odessa-clip-reunites-madison-clark-june-dorie/

🦈 Doo-Doo, Doo-Doo, Doo, Doo…

Aquaman knows what he’s talking about.

https://ew.com/tv/jason-momoa-shark-week/

🐕 Pups At Parties…

Don’t give me any ideas.

https://people.com/pets/new-york-dog-wedding-by-high-low-hostess-amanada-orso/

At one time, I had 8 little dogs, and I don’t think I have one picture of all of them together. Major kudos.

https://people.com/photo-30-posed-dogs-birthday-party-wins-nextdoor-contest-7503586

🚶🏽‍♀️ Walking On the Tame Side…

Take a break tomorrow for soap, tea for all, interesting things people have said, and music befitting the month. Until then, stay safe, stay listening like you mean it, and stay recognizing when encouragement is better than a fix.

May 24, 2023 – Diane Presents Carly With Her Options, Temping, Part One Of Sandoval’s Reunion Awfulness & Hero

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Diane visits Sonny’s old kitchen, aka home of the hallowed moss bowl🎍, and Carly asks if she wants coffee. Diane says, bless you, and Carly asks if she had a rough night. Diane says, rough morning. She forgot to set her alarm, then the line at Kelly’s was out the door. Carly asks why Diane didn’t just text and say she’d be late, but Diane says, never. Punctuality is her trademark. Carly says, one of many, and Diane says, before they get into the nitty-gritty, catch her up. What’s been going on? Carly says, Nina and Sonny are getting married, and Diane chokes on her coffee.

Nina is admiring her ring when Sonny comes out, and says, cappuccino for her, and espresso for him. She asks what he thinks people did before espresso machines, which is a good question, and he says, live a sad unfulfilled life. She takes a sip, and he says, so? She says, it’s delicious, but he says he was talking about the ring. Is she still a fan? She says, considering she’s obsessed with it, she thinks so, and he says he can get her a different one, but she says, it’s perfect. The setting is perfect, the stone is perfect, the coffee is perfect, he’s… He says, perfect, but she says, even better. He’s all hers. They kiss.

Alexis writes a text to Gregory: Just checking in. Here if you need me. She says, here goes nothin’, and sends it. Sam knocks at the door, and Alexis says, she’s early; how unlike her. Sam asks if that’s Alexis’s not so subtle way of saying she’s usually late, and Alexis hugs her. Sam says she came early because she wanted to talk to Alexis before Krissy got here. Alexis says, also, so Sam doesn’t lecture her, she reached out to Gregory. Sam asks if he responded, but Alexis says she just sent it a minute ago. Sam says, actually, she didn’t come here to talk to Alexis about Gregory. She wanted to talk to Alexis about her sister. Alexis says she’s worried about Molly too, but Sam says, not that sister. What’s going on with Molly?

TJ comes out as Molly is getting her bag ready for work, and she says she’s sorry if she woke him; she was trying to be quiet. He says, like she was last night? He didn’t hear her come in. She says, it was late, and he says, she must be tired. Why doesn’t she take the day off? She asks if he can please not treat her like she’s about to break, and he says he’s sorry. She tells him, there’s no reason for her to take the day off. She’s not sick. God knows she’s not pregnant, and she never will be.

Curtis lifts weights at Volovino’s, when Drew comes in. He says, hi, but Curtis doesn’t hear him because he’s busy flashing back to his conversation with Jordan, and Jordan asking if he’s on the rebound or are he and Portia really over; and if so, do they get a second chance?

At the hospital, Jordan is flashing back to her and Curtis kissing. Portia says she needs to speak with Jordan.

Sam tells Alexis that she knew something was up at Michael and Willow’s wedding. Molly seemed a little off to her, and she asked TJ if Molly was okay. He said she was fine, but he was glad she had her sisters. Two SEC agents showed up and questioned Carly, so the conversation got derailed, and now she feels terrible because she didn’t follow up. Alexis doesn’t want her to feel terrible. She thinks Molly will tell Sam about it when she feels the time is right for her, and she thinks the time is soon. Sam asks how worried she should be, but Alexis says she shouldn’t be worried. This is not life threatening. She’ll be fine. What about Kristina? Sam says, the foundation Sonny is helping her set up. She thinks it’s an amazing idea, and can do a lot for the LGBTQ+ community. However, she doesn’t think Kristina is grasping the reality of what she’s getting herself into. She feels like Kristina needs guidance. Alexis asks, who doesn’t? when there’s a knock at the door. Alexis says, it’s her middle girl, and she and TempKristina (see below) hug. Kristina tells them that she’s about to change Port Charles forever. Wanna see?

TJ tells Molly, it’s still too soon to say they can’t have children, but she  tells him, she didn’t say that. She said she can’t get pregnant. He says he just meant that they can still create and raise a family together. It might not look like they thought it would, but when have they ever been conventional. She asks if it’s okay if they don’t talk about their options right now. She knows they need to figure it out, and they will, but right now, she’s a little bit overwhelmed. He says he gets it. They have all the time in the world to figure out what’s next. Honestly, he’s more focused on her right now. Endometriosis is a serious condition, and Dr. Navarro says she has a serious case. Which means she’s been suffering symptoms all this time and he didn’t know. Why didn’t she tell him?

Drew comes over to Curtis, and asks if he’s okay. Curtis says, all good, and asks if he and Drew are good. Drew asks why they wouldn’t be, and Curtis says he heard Drew and Carly have been seeing each other for a while now, and if memory serves him correctly, he said some not so nice things about Carly’s lies to Nina. Drew says, that’s not why he kept it a secret. There’s some things Curtis doesn’t know. Plus, Curtis was just telling the truth, and he likes that he can count on Curtis for that. If anyone knows their own mind, it’s Curtis.

Jordan suggests they go somewhere more private, but Portia says she doesn’t need privacy for this. She wants to say thank you. If not for Jordan, Trina wouldn’t have made it back to Port Charles. Jordan says, what she did was a team effort, and Portia says, Jordan was a major part of that team. She put her career in jeopardy to hold off the WSB. She just wants Jordan to know she’ll forever be grateful.

Nina says she wishes this could last forever, and Sonny says, that’s the plan; til death do us part. She says she means the part where it’s just them; the dinner, the coffee this morning… Pretty soon, the whole world is going to know they’re engaged. He asks if she doesn’t think they know right now, and she wonders if they should have celebrated so publicly last night, but he says, they have nothing to hide. She says she agrees with him, but they have to face it. Not everyone is going to be as happy about them getting married as they are.

Diane asks how Carly feels about the Nina situation, as she soaks up the radiance of the moss bowl🎍 , and Carly says she’s not exactly thrilled about it. Her heart’s not being ripped out of her chest or anything. She and Sonny are divorced. They’ve both moved on, and she’s happy that he’s happy. It’s just… Diane says, Carly wishes he was happy with literally anyone else, and Carly says, it’s Nina. That woman devastated her family, and now she’s positioned to be even closer to them. It’s appalling to her, but there’s no stopping Sonny once he’s made up his mind, so she just has to figure out a way to live with it. Diane says, Sonny is a difficult man, and Carly says, ya think? Diane says she knows this because he’s a difficult client, but a relationship with him has to be an endurance event. Carly says, Diane doesn’t think Nina can handle it, does she? and Diane says she thinks if Nina wants to, she’d better start her conditioning now, but she’s not optimistic. Carly says she doesn’t have the energy or the desire to unpack Nina, and Diane says, fair enough. Let’s get down to business, shall we? Carly says, her case with the SEC. Go. Diane says, Carly has options, but she’s not going to like them.

Molly says, it’s not like it was excruciating, and TJ says, but she was in pain often. Was it constant? She says, no, but it was often enough. She guesses it depended on where she was in her cycle. He asks if it hurt when they had sex, and she says, sometimes, not all the time. He asks why she didn’t say anything, and she says, because she didn’t want it to hurt. Everything else about it – being close to him, cuddling with him, having him hold her in his arms – she loved those things, and didn’t want to ruin it by saying she’s feeling a little crampy tonight and doesn’t really want to. He says he feels like a monster, but she says, no. He says, his partner has been in pain and he didn’t even know, and she says, because she didn’t let him know. He asks why she’d hide something like that from him, but she says she wasn’t hiding it; she was dealing with it.

Kristian spreads out a blueprint on the table, and says she has to talk to the contractor, but she wanted to show them first. Sam says, then she’s already hired an architect, but Kristina says she doesn’t need one. All she’s doing is knocking down a couple of walls. Sam says, which requires a permit, but Kristina says, the contractor’s going to figure all that out. This is her chance to really make a difference. She knows she’s said that before, but it’s for real this time, and would mean the world to have their support, especially Alexis’s.

Sonny tells Nina, last night was perfect (WOTD). He doesn’t care what people think. Nina says she agrees with him, but unfortunately, they don’t live in a vacuum. There’s a knock at the door, and he says, they don’t? That’s Ava dropping off Avery, and he doesn’t want Avery to know until he tells Ava first. She says, her lips are sealed, turning her ring around, and he answers the door. Avery hugs Sonny, then runs to Nina, and Ava says, Avery was excited Nina was going to be here today. Nina says she’s super excited. She’s been thinking about this. Playground, park, carousel. Avery says, yeah, and Nina asks, which one? Avery says, all of them, and Sonny says, what about me? Nina asks if Avery thinks they should let her dad join them, and Avery notices the ring, asking, what’s that? The sparkly ring? Mommy used to wear one just like that.

Curtis asks Drew, what’s this with the SEC? They questioned him? Drew says, thanks to Ned Quartermaine, he and Carly are being charged with insider trading. Curtis says, Ned turned them in? and Drew says, he didn’t admit it of course (🍷), but he doesn’t know who else it could be. Curtis asks if they have a case, and Drew says, they have a strong case. The SEC is coming at them hard, for whatever reason, and it doesn’t seem like they’re interested in a deal. At least not with both of them. Curtis helps Drew get boxing gloves on, and Drew says, of course (🍷) his Aunt Tracy had the brilliant suggestion he should turn Carly in. Curtis says, damn, that’s cold, and Drew says, it’s not an option, but just between them – Curtis says, of course (🍷) – he needs to disarm Ned. He’s rich and he’s got power. He could strongarm the SEC and make this whole thing go away. Curtis doubts he’ll do it willingly, and Drew says, Carly doesn’t deserve any of this. He’s going to do everything in his power to make sure he protects her. He punches the heavy bag.

Diane says, before they get into strategy, she wants to be walked through Carly’s actions as though she’s never heard it before. Carly says she knew Michael and Drew were planning to merge ELQ and Aurora, and Diane says, arguably a sacrifice for Drew. Carly says, Drew liked having his company independent of ELQ. The only reason he agreed to the merger was to help his family. Since Michael’s her son and at the time Drew was just a friend, she wanted to help them. Diane says, so Carly bought stock in Aurora before the merger, and Carly says, yes. Aurora is the smaller company, so the more it’s worth, the more equal the merger would be. The irony is, Drew told her not to do it. And Michael did too. Diane says, fortunately, Michael has no part in this because he owns no stock in Aurora, and they’re going to leave him out of it. So Drew cautioned her not to buy the shares, and she… Carly says, didn’t listen. Now Drew is caught up in her mistake. She didn’t mean for it to be insider trading. She was just trying to help. Diane says she gets it. The SEC probably gets it too. The problem is, they don’t care. Carly knew before the public that there was a merger planned, and she acted on it. Carly says, that makes her guilty, and Diane says, her and Drew both.

Molly tells TJ that she’s always had painful periods; cramping and bloating and tenderness. This was more severe, but it wasn’t completely foreign, so she thought it was just what happens as you get older. So she took ibuprofen and got on with life. TJ asks if it even helped, and she says she’s sorry, but he says he’s not asking her to apologize. He just wants to understand. Did she ever think to get checked out? She says, no. She just told him that she thought it was normal. He says, being in pain all the time is not normal, and she says, it wasn’t all the time, but he says, she’s not casual about her health. She asks what he wants her to say. She got used to it. He says, but why? If you’re not feeling well, you go to the doctor. Obviously, something was wrong. She says, not to her, and the last thing she needs is for him to keep piling it on right now. She feels guilty enough. He says, for what? and she says, because she ignored her symptoms; she didn’t get examined. She cries, and says, if she’d just gotten diagnosed earlier and started treatment sooner… but it’s too late for that. It’s all her fault.

Kristina tells Alexis and Sam, so this is the common space. A place to hang out, have fun, and support each other. She wants the kids to feel safe. Like when they walk through those doors, they know that everything is fine and they’re going to be okay. Alexis says, sounds wonderful, and Kristina says, the offices will be here, with the staff; they’ll be nearby. She wants to hire young people. Less like administrators and more like their peers. It’s going to be bright and airy and open, and really colorful. Sam says, it sounds like a major renovation, but Kristina says, actually, it’s not. Sam says, she’s knocking down walls and stuff. Won’t it increase her property taxes? Kristina says, maybe, but it will be so worth it in the long run, and Sam asks if she’s even started fundraising yet. Kristina says, no. She needed to have something to show before she started asking for money. Sam says, mom… but Alexis says she trusts Kristina. If she thinks it’s worth it, it’s worth it. Kristina holds up a paper printed with the letters CD covered by a roof in rainbow colors, The Corinthos-Davis House underneath, and says, and this is their logo. How beautiful is it? Do they love it? Alexis says she loves it, and Kristina asks Sam, what now? Sam says, nothing. She just thinks it’s a little premature to hire a graphic designer. Kristina asks how she’s supposed to have a website if she doesn’t have a logo, and Alexis says, an online presence is very important. Sam says, absolutely, but so is hiring an accountant and registering as a non-profit, and Kristina asks, so what is Sam’s deal? Does she just not believe in this project? Or is it her Sam doesn’t believe in?

Drew finishes with the heavy bag, and tells Curtis that he thinks Tracy is Ned’s Achilles heel. If he could just scrounge up some dirt on her. Curtis says, if Drew needs a man, he’s got one. Drew has always been there for him. Drew says, no way is he dragging anyone else into this mess. Besides, Curtis has enough on his plate. Any developments on the Trina front? Curtis says, she took the DNA test; the results should be in soon. Drew says, good. He thinks if the positions were reversed, he doesn’t think he’d be handling it as collected and cool as Curtis is right now. Curtis says he’s been living at the boxing gym. It helps keep his mind off things. Drew asks if Curtis and Portia have been discussing the next steps, but Curtis says, they’re all in a holding pattern, just trying to see what’s what. Drew says, the reason he’s asking is, he thought after Greenland, they were on the same page, and Curtis says, about bringing Trina home, yeah, but everything else, no. After his time in Greenland, he reevaluated his plans. Drew says, such as? and Curtis says, if he should have ended his marriage so quickly to Jordan.

Portia says, Jordan has gone above and beyond. When they needed Oz Haggerty’s testimony, she bought them time. Jordan says she doesn’t know what Portia is talking about, and neither does Portia. Portia says, it’s just that ever since Trina came home, it’s become clear to her that Jordan’s been looking out for her family, and she never gave Jordan credit for it. So this is her saying thank you, and she’s truly sorry that she’s just realizing it now. She just hopes Jordan can accept her apology.

Sonny says Avery knows he loves Nina very much. He took a chance, and asked her to marry him. Avery asks if she said yes, and Nina says she did. Sonny asks what Avery thinks about that, and Avery asks if she can be a flower girl. Nina thinks that can be arranged, and Sonny says, she’s already been practicing. Avery says, this is the best news ever, and hugs Nina. Nina says, Avery has no idea how happy that makes her. She can hardly wait to be part of Avery’s family. Avery says, her neither, and asks if she can go on her tablet. Sonny says, it’s by her bedside, and Avery runs off. Nina says, Ava’s been very quiet. Isn’t she going to say congratulations?

Diane tells Carly, here are the people responsible. The person who gave out the insider information, and the person who acted on said information. Carly says, me, and Diane says, ultimately, they are both culpable. From a legal standpoint, not a moral or emotional one. Drew has the option to say Carly acted without his knowledge. That he wasn’t even a participant. That he wasn’t even the one who gave her the insider information. Carly says, in other words, lie, and Diane says, likewise, Carly can say Drew came to her and asked her to purchase stock in Aurora. He gave her no private information; she was just following instructions. Carly says, that’s literally the opposite of what happened, and Diane tells her, she’s just saying this is how Carly can strike a deal with the Feds. She had no private information; no private knowledge. She was just doing a favor for a friend. Carly says, no. Drew wouldn’t do that to her, and she’s not going to do it to him. Diane says, in that case, there is another alternative. She was speaking with a friend in the DA’s office, a trusted source. She had an interesting tidbit to share. They gravitate back to the moss bowl🎍, and Diane says she thinks they can all agree, the SEC is least interested in Carly. Carly says, Drew is definitely the more high profile get, sure, and Diane says, in terms of high profile, a corporate CEO pales in comparison to Sonny Corinthos. Does she know who’s right across the hall from the SEC? The Justice Department. Carly says, no, and Diane says, Carly knows where all the bodies are buried, so if she decides to give them Sonny, she can write her ticket to freedom. I’m shocked at Diane’s suggestion, and Carly says, no. Diane says, even though he’s marrying a woman she can’t stand? and Carly says, he can be marrying Hannibal Lecter for all she cares. She’s not giving up Sonny. Diane says she just wanted to make sure Carly understood the parameters, and Carly says, let’s just focus on her other options, but Diane says, she has none.

Sonny says, they planned to tell Ava first. They didn’t want to spring it on Avery like that, but things happen. Ava says, for better or worse, nothing gets by their daughter these days. She tells them, congrats, and Nina thanks her. Ava asks when Sonny popped the question, and Nina says, last night. Ava asks if Carly knows, and Sonny says, not yet. Ava says, he might want to get on that. She knows Avery. She’s going to tell the mailman, and Donna, and the barista at Charlie’s, and anybody and everybody who will listen. Sonny says, she’s probably right. He’s going to head over there right now. He asks if Nina is all right with Avery, but Ava says she’ll hang around. Nina says she’d like that, and Sonny leaves. Nina says, he’s gone. So does Ava want to tell her what she really thinks?

Sam says, of course (🍷) she believes in Kristina, but Kristina says, it doesn’t sound like it. Sam says, Kristina’s compassion, her vision, her creativity, all of it. Sam wants to see her get the shelter up and running more than anything, but it’s going to be difficult. There’s going to be a lot of hoops to jump through, and she doesn’t think Kristina is getting that right now. For starters, she’s going to be housing a lot of at risk teenagers, who have been emotionally traumatized, possibly exploited, and she’s going to need professionals to help her with that. So instead of picking out colors for paint, she’d hire a psychiatrist as a consultant. Kristina says she knows; she’s getting there. Sam says, it’s like Kristina’s priorities are all in the wrong order, and asks why Alexis isn’t chiming in here. Alexis says she’s trusting that Kristina knows what she’s getting into, and Kristina thanks her. Sam says, they’ve heard this before. Kristina has all of these great ideas and this vision, and then it doesn’t work out the way she wants it to. It’s not because Sam doesn’t believe in her. It’s because Kristina never follows through.

TJ says he doesn’t blame Molly at all, but she says, he was just upset because she didn’t see a doctor. He says he was upset because she was in pain, and he hates that; not because he thinks she’s at fault. She says she feels so guilty. She feels like she let him down. He says, no, but she says she was supposed to carry his baby, now she can’t. He says, she’s not supposed to do anything. Nothing is expected of her. They’re in this together. She tells him, he says that and she knows he really believes it, but it’s different when you’re a woman. She so wanted to give him this gift. To do this thing that women do every single day, and they have been for centuries. And to know that she can’t… He says, we can’t, and she says, except there’s nothing wrong with him. It’s her. She thinks she needs some time to come to terms with that. He asks what he can do, and she says, honestly, nothing. She has to get to work. He asks her not to leave, but she keeps walking and goes out the door.

It’s Curtis’s turn at the heavy bag, and Drew says he must be losing it. He could have sworn Curtis said Jordan. Curtis says he did. They’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, and recently Jordan admitted she still has feelings for him. So now he’s asking himself, did he give up on their marriage too quickly? Drew says, that’s a big question. He can certainly understand why Curtis would be drawn back to Jordan, but has he talked to Portia? Curtis says, about Jordan? but Drew says, no, about him and Portia. Before he starts reevaluating his relationship with his ex, shouldn’t he examine the state of his marriage?

Jordan says, Portia has nothing to apologize for, but Portia says she kinda does. Jordan gave her great advice. She told Portia to tell the truth to Curtis about Trina. If she’d listened to Jordan, if she’d done it sooner… But what did she do? She accused Jordan of trying to break them up. It’s so ironic. Jordan says, the what if game never does anyone any good. In all honesty, she should have never interfered. Portia says she’s glad Jordan did. It’s far messier than she could have imagined, but at least the truth is out. Maybe she should ask Jordan what she should do next. If Jordan were her, how would she save Portia’s marriage?

Curtis tells Drew, Portia’s the one who lied to him. He doesn’t owe her anything. Drew says he agrees, but Curtis just said he’s afraid he ended things too quickly with his ex. Isn’t it possible he’s making the same mistake with Portia? Curtis says he can’t get past it. Every time he’s in the same room as Portia, all he can think about is the dishonesty, and Drew asks how much time they spend together. Curtis says, not much, and Drew says he’s going to stand by Curtis, no matter what, but unless he can say for certain that he doesn’t love Portia anymore… Curtis says, it doesn’t matter. Love or no love, it doesn’t change what she did. Drew says, but it does affect Curtis’s capacity to forgive.

Portia tells Jordan, sorry. She’s going to retract that question. She’s been so worried about Trina, she hasn’t gotten an ounce of sleep. She thanks Jordan for the talk, and starts to leave, but Jordan asks her to wait. She can’t offer advice on Curtis, but she can say this about Trina because she’s been there. Focus on forgiving herself. Mothers are human; they make mistakes too. In time, Trina will see that.

Kristina says she would have expected this from mom, but not Sam. Sam says she wants Kristina to be successful, but Kristina says she doesn’t. Sam just wants to suck the joy out of everything she gets excited about. Alexis says, that’s not true, and Kristina asks if she’s even been listening. Kristina’s phone rings, and Alexis says, both she and Sam are supportive of her. Sam says, absolutely, and Alexis says, if anyone can get this shelter going, Kristina can. Kristina says, now she’s going to be on the call with the contractor, and it’s actually perfect timing. She steps away, and Sam says, that went well. Alexis asks if Sam didn’t come down a little hard on Kristina, but Sam says, Kristina is an adult. She needs to understand what she’s actually getting into. Alexis says she agrees, and Sam says, you could have fooled me. What are they supposed to do? Alexis says, last time she interfered with Kristina’s career, Kristina didn’t speak to her for a month. Sam says, now Kristina isn’t going to speak to her for a month. She probably hates Sam more now. Alexis says, just give her some time, and she’ll value the advice Sam gave her, and Sam says she’s actually proud of how Alexis bit her tongue. Alexis says she’s proud of herself. She’s getting better. She also can’t predict the future, so if that’s the case, why not just have faith?

Diane says, Carly is in a very poor position. Technically, she’s guilty of insider trading. She has two paths that could get her out of it… Carly says, which are non-starters, and Diane says, which leaves Carly holding the bag. Carly says, for her own actions. She wants Diane to do everything in her power to fight these charges, but at the end of the day, it’s her mess, and if she has to pay for it, she will. Diane says, understood. She thanks Carly for the coffee, blows the moss bowl🎍 a kiss, and leaves.

Ava says she already told Nina that she’s happy for her, and Nina says, once more, this time with feeling. Ava asks what Nina wants from her, and Nina says, for starters, the truth. Ava says, does she? The truth is, Nina’s relationship has been a ticking time bomb since she turned Carly into the SEC. Nina asks why Carly shouldn’t pay, and Ava says, because she’s Carly. She doesn’t know how to tell Nina this, but Carly and Sonny have been through everything – the good, the bad, the ugly – for well over twenty years, and Nina’s been in a relationship with Sonny for like, two? Nina says, that shouldn’t matter, and Ava says, but it does. If Sonny finds out that Nina turned Carly in, it’s over forever.

On the phone, TJ leaves a message for Molly, saying, he doesn’t like how their conversation ended. He’s so sorry for all of it, but most of all that she felt alone in this. Just know he loves her and he’s here. Always.

Sam says, Alexis’s support means so much to Kristina. Maybe with this extra boost of confidence she might be able to pull this off. Alexis says, who knows? Stranger things have happened. Don’t tell her sister she said that. Sam says, never.

Drew tells Curtis that he’s sorry. This is such a tough spot. He wishes he could help. Curtis says, he already has, and leaves.

Portia says she can’t tell Jordan how much she appreciates that, but Jordan says, Portia is giving her way too much credit. Portia says she’s not giving Jordan enough credit, but Jordan tells her, stop. She’s not the person Portia thinks she is.

Ava says, there’s really no easy way out of this. Either Nina comes clean, and accepts she and Sonny are over, and maybe they can find their way back to each other in a few years; or she keeps digging the hole she’s digging, and prays she gets to China. Nina says, Ava is right. Because of her stupid, impulsive decision, she planted the seeds to lose both Sonny and Willow. Ava says she’s sorry it’s come to this, and Nina says, so is she. She doesn’t have any other options. She only has one choice. It’s time for the gloves to come off.

There’s a knock at Sonny’s old kitchen door, and Carly says, come in. Sonny walks in.

Tomorrow, Portia asks if Curtis is officially ending things; Jordan tells Anna that there’s a secret weighing on her conscience; and Carly tells Sonny, sometimes the simplest solution is the truth.

👟 Stepping In…

I knew I knew her from somewhere.

Vanderpump Rules – The Reunion – Part 1

FYI, I’m sure I missed a bunch of stuff. There was a lot of yelling and separate conversations going on. That’s why I hate a Reunion. They all talk at once, then start yelling, and I lose track of what’s being said. Anyway, here we go with this sad awfulness.

Andy says, this is a reunion that may be more explosive and dramatic than anything seen in the show’s ten year history.

The players in this season’s triangle did separate interviews with Andy, and we see that first. Andy asks how Sandoval is doing; it’s his final chance to come clean. Sandoval says he’s doing okay, and agrees that he’s the most hated man on television.

Andy asks how Ariana is doing, and she says, better than a few weeks ago. He tells her that she looks great despite what happened (upside!), and asks about her and Sandoval’s current living status. She says, Sandoval is staying in the guest room, and she tries to avoid run-ins with him. They have people running interference and go-betweens.

Andy asks how Raquel is feeling about seeing everyone in a group setting, and true to beauty queen form, she has her prepared response of, she’s preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best.

Andy asks if Ariana has seen or spoken to Raquel, and she says, no. It took Raquel – who she calls Rachel now, as they all do – 48 hours to text her. She told Ariana that she didn’t know what to say, and she was sorry. Ariana told her, f*** off, you f***ing rat, and blocked her.  

Andy asks when Sandoval realized he had feelings for Raquel, and Sandoval says, throughout last year, he started to see who she really was. I’ll refrain from adding who I think that is. Andy asks when they first hooked up, and Sandoval says, they’d been at guys night, then the next time there was a See You Next Tuesday, the show was filming, but they weren’t a part of it. Some of them went to The Abbey that night, and he and Raquel had sex.

Andy asks if Ariana was suspicious, and she says, absolutely not. Andy says, in watching the show, she vehemently stood up for Sandoval, and we flash back to Ariana saying she trusts and loves both Sandoval and Raquel. She says she felt like he was a loyal and committed partner, and she trusted him.

Andy says, Sandoval claims he and Raquel weren’t together when they went glamping, and Sandoval says, after that first time, they took a break. Andy asks when it kicked back up to romance, and Sandoval says, after they went to Life is Beautiful; after they’d wrapped filming. Andy says, before Bravocon. He wonders what Sandoval was thinking when, during his concert, he looked out to see his girlfriend and his mistress (I thank him for using that word, and I’m sure Lala does too) next to each other. Did it get him off? Tom says, no, but I bet it did.

Andy asks Ariana, looking back, are there situations where she wonders how she missed it? and she says, of course. More so with Raquel than Sandoval. They all know men are trash – no offense – but she trusts her girlfriends. This was someone who’d ingratiated themselves in her life. How could they be so close? She’d expect it more from a guy, but she can’t imagine doing that to one of her friends.

Andy asks how Sandoval could cheat on his girlfriend of nine years with one of her closest friends, and Sandoval says, he and Ariana kept their relationship private for many years; they had issues. He felt like her gay BFF, and they put on a front for filming. He even talked to a showrunner about it. We see some unseen footage, where Sandoval tells some guy that he feels guilty. He feels it’s important to talk about sh*t and not pretend it’s all amazing. He doesn’t think it’s fair to the rest of the cast.

Andy asks Ariana if there were elements of the relationship that she and Sandoval were hiding, but she says, she felt they showed everything. Sandoval is framing it now as something else, because he’s desperate to throw anything at the wall, hoping it sticks. He used to coach her like he coached Raquel. They’ve got to get their lies and stories straight, and get their spin right, so they can have matching answers Andy says, it looks like she’s moved on from tears to anger, and she says, the indifference is becoming strong.

Andy asks how Sandoval feels about seeing everyone. He says he’s nervous and scared, but ready to face it.

Schwartz is the first on the set, and Andy asks if he was silent or was silenced. Schwartz says, both. On her way in, Lisa says she feels like she’s dressed like a gladiator, and might need to be. She sees Ariana, and says, that’s a revenge dress if she ever saw one. When Sandoval comes out, Ariana says, he looks like sh*t, and Lala says she hates him. Me too.

Andy says, let’s dive in to the Season 10 Reunion, and introduces everyone – minus Raquel who is not legally allowed in the same room as Scheana, due to a restraining order. We see Raquel watching from her trailer. Lisa says, normally she doesn’t like Reunions, but this one is much needed. Andy asks how Ariana is feeling, and she says, as good as she could be feeling. She did have a great night’s sleep, which she usually doesn’t before a Reunion. Andy asks if it’s Sandoval’s first time seeing the group since news of the affair broke, and Sandoval says, yes. Andy asks how he’s feeling, and he says he’s all over the place. Andy says, it’s the first time Schwartz isn’t sitting next to Katie at a Reunion, and Schwartz says, it’s strange, and kind of sad. He tells Andy that he and Katie put in post-divorce work on their relationship, but Katie disagrees. Andy says, since most women are angry at Sandoval and Schwartz, is James now the number one guy? And James says, it’s not hard to compete with Schwartz and a clown. Andy congratulates Scheana on her wedding, and asks if they’re still in the honeymoon phase. She says, they are, and that Brock cut all his hair off. Andy says, the most burning thing they have to talk about is the affair that happened right under their noses. We flash back to Ally’s interview, where she talked about seeing Sandoval with Raquel at The Abbey, and wondered where Ariana was. Next, we relive Ken saying that Sandoval had Raquel over when Ariana wasn’t home, and then Lala saying Sandoval was with Raquel all day after Ariana’s grandmother died. Andy says, they’ll get in a bit now, and talk about it more when Raquel comes out. He asks if there’s anything Sandoval wants to say, and Sandoval starts sniffling. James tells him to pull himself together, and Ariana says, the sad sack act is f***ing BS. James says, it’s not an audition. He accuses Sandoval of crying crocodile tears, and calls him a p*ssy. Sandoval says he appreciates everybody being there for Ariana, and the world collectively rolls its eyes. He says, no matter what was going on in their relationship, she didn’t deserve to have this happen. Ariana says, nothing happened; he did it. He says he’s sorry for doing the one thing he said he wouldn’t, and he did it in the worst way possible. James and Lala are both unimpressed, and Ariana says, he’s been victim blaming her 100%, and this is bullsh*t. Andy asks if Sandoval is still living in the house, and Sandoval says, off and on. Andy says, when Lala and Randall broke up, she got out quickly, and he asks if Lala thinks this is healthy. Lala says, no. Given ten years, Sandoval is Randall. She couldn’t get Randall to stay home, but once they broke up, she couldn’t get him out. That’s a narcissist, and Sandoval is a dangerous human being. Lisa thinks that’s a ridiculous stance, and Lala says she didn’t ask Lisa’s opinion. When someone does that to a life partner, there’s something wrong with them. Sandoval says, who is she to be judging his character? and she tells him, STFU. Lisa says, they’re here for ten hours. They can’t start like this. Andy asks what Ariana thinks caused the divide, not spending quality time together? but Ariana says, Sandoval f***ing other people. Andy asks if there were more than Raquel, and we flash back to Sandoval telling Scheana about cheating with someone else. Ariana says, Sandoval made these choices, and Andy asks what Sandoval thinks caused the demise of the relationship, and Sandoval says, communication dissipated, but Ariana says, it’s not like they never had conversation. Andy says, Sandoval claimed they hadn’t been intimate in years, but Ariana says, that’s not true. Besides, having intimacy issues doesn’t excuse anything. You work on it or break up. Andy asks if the rest of the group sensed there were significant issues in the relationship. Schwartz nods, and Scheana says, not until recently. She and Lala had a conversation where Lala said she thought something was going on with Sandoval and Raquel. Scheana said, they were fine and in a good place. Andy asks Lala when the conversation happened, and she says, in January. James keeps sending jabs Sandoval’s way, and Sandoval says, he’s been supportive of James. Lala says, Sandoval paid for half of James and Raquel’s engagement, and James says, it just goes to show how much of a friend Sandoval wasn’t. James gets up, and Sandoval tells James to get out of his face. Andy separates them.

During the commercial break, my feelings take the shape of gummi bears, and I eat them.

Sandoval says he stood up for James, and James says, Sandoval is a nobody, nothing, a loser, a backstabbing ho. Sandoval says, if James gets in his face again, he’s going to f*** James up. This is all the provocation James needs, and they have to be separated again. James says he’s going to beat Sandoval’s ass, and Andy tells him to stay in his chair. James says he’s going to the bathroom, and calls Sandoval a worm with a mustache. When James leaves, Sandoval says, James pees on a fire hydrant like a dog, and Raquel is his fire hydrant. Lala tells him to stop bringing in things from 500 years ago. This was Sandoval’s life partner, not Kristen Doute. Stop pulling out the history books. James comes back, and Andy asks why Sandoval didn’t come clean. Lisa says, the million dollar question, and Sandoval says, Ariana was going through a lot, and he didn’t want to add anything. Andy asks when Sandoval told Schwartz, and Schwartz says, in July, Sandoval was saying he wasn’t happy, then after guys night out, he confided in Schwartz the next day. Ariana says, when Charlotte’s body wasn’t even cold, and we flash back to her leaving the girls trip because of Charlotte. Schwartz says, he didn’t know that, and Katie asks when he found out, and Schwartz says, late August. He and Sandoval met up, and Sandoval broke it down for him. Sandoval is like, what? and Lala asks if they didn’t put their timelines together. We see a clip of Andy’s interview with Sandoval, and he says, it was mid to late January. Andy asks if Schwartz knew when he kissed Raquel, but he says, no, and we flash back to that. Andy asks if he had a gut feeling, since he talked about Raquel possibly having a crush on someone else. We flash back to that, and Schwartz says he wasn’t talking about Sandoval. Sandoval had said it was a one night stand, and would never happen again. It was a mistake, alcohol. After that, things went back to normal. Scheana asks if this was before they went glamping, Schwartz says, yes, and we flash back to Schwartz saying Raquel has a type; men that are taken. Schwartz says, Sandoval and Raquel spent an inappropriate amount of time together, and Andy asks why Sandoval encouraged Schwartz and Raquel to make out. Was he a decoy? Sandoval says, absolutely not. After he and Raquel hooked up, he said it was never going to happen again. Lisa says, it’s perverse, and Katie says, it’s a great excuse. Look over here instead of at us. Andy says, Sandoval cheated with Miami Girl early in the relationship, and we flash back to that. Sandoval’s excuse for this is – wait for it – he wanted to feel single one more time before getting serious. Andy asks Ariana why she was forgiving of Miami Girl, and Ariana says, they weren’t exclusive, and she wanted everyone see best in him. Like I said, a lot is going on, and Sandoval brings up Kristen again, but no one cares. Lala tells him, it’s not that serious. It wasn’t like being in a committed relationship, then f***ing his partner’s best friend.  

Andy says, it’s easy to forget that, before the affair, the group was dealing with three seismic breakups; Lala and Randall, James and Raquel, and Schwartz and Katie. He asks what made Katie realize it was the end of the road, and she says, realizing she wasn’t happy, and Schwartz prioritized everyone over her. Schwarz says, prioritizing the bar was a necessity, but Katie says, and everything else; friends, parties, strangers. So she made a choice she didn’t want to. Schwartz says, their intimacy had dwindled, and he was going through a lot, losing his father, his brother, and his money. But he’d never expect Katie to put her feelings on hold to stay with him out of pity. Katie says, they went from being husband and wife to being friends. Looking back, she thinks she’d do it differently, and not be friends right away. Schwartz says, he would have been reasonable had Katie fallen for someone else in the group. When they were still living together, Katie was hooking up. Katie says, Schwartz could have done the same thing, but Schwartz says, the friend code is murky. If the roles were reversed, and she’d made out with Peter, he would have been okay with it. He’s sorry he hurt Katie’s feelings in Mexico, but somehow the kiss was liberating. I don’t necessarily hate Schwartz. I just want to pat him on the head and tell him to go lie down. Lala says, Schwartz felt that way and Raquel was f***ing his best friend the whole time. Sandoval says, one time, but Lala says, it doesn’t matter. Andy says, no one has clean hands except Katie and Lisa. James cheated on Kristen – James points out he was in his early 20s – Ariana was with Sandoval before he broke up with Kristen, Schwartz made out with everyone while he was married, and James and Lala often had something going on. Lala says, none of them were f***ing their best friend’s man, and Andy moves on. He asks where Schwartz and Katie stand in building a friendship, and Katie says, she looks for honesty, respect, and integrity. Schwartz complains that he has to abide by her terms, like that’s unreasonable, and Katie says she’s setting boundaries. James says, staying out of the friend group is the least Schwartz could do out of respect for her as a woman, and Sandoval says, that’s sexist. The world gives a collective blank stare. Andy asks if Jo is a girlfriend to Schwartz, and he says, she’s a friend, although it evolved into a friend with benefits thing. They were both coming out of long term relationships, and were each other’s happy place. Katie says, Jo is a creep and no one likes her, and Schwartz says, Katie is going to get a cease and desist if she doesn’t quit commenting about Jo on social media. We see some comments, but I’m like, eh, grow up. Andy asks Katie if Jo is in the friend group, and Katie says, by proxy. She was a friend of Kristen’s, but she blocked Kristen as soon as she moved in with Schwartz. Andy asks if Jo and Schwartz didn’t double-date with Sandoval and Raquel, but Schwartz says, they just all went snowboarding. James says, Raquel hates snowboarding, and just went to s*ck Sandoval’s d*ck.

Andy asks the Toms how far away they’d thought the opening of Schwartz & Sandy’s was after they had their first party, and Schwartz says, they’d thought the end of August; it was naïve. Andy asks when they ended up opening, and Schwartz tells him, November 2nd. Andy says, the food seemed to be holding them up, and Sandoval says, they’ve been through three chefs. Andy wonders why they just didn’t open the bar with minimal food to start, and Sandoval says, they would have loved to. Lisa says, Greg didn’t want to, and Andy asks how it’s going now. Schwartz says, it’s great. They have good food and gotten good feedback. Lisa says, they didn’t know what they were doing, and why should they, since they’d never done it before. She didn’t like Sandoval saying they didn’t need her, and we flash back to Sandoval’s interview, where he said they were glad not to be under LVP’s thumb. Lisa says she’s done everything to give them a start. She gave them 5% of TomTom. It cost $5 million, they each put in $50K, and she ended up giving it back when they needed the money before Schwartz & Sandy’s opened. It’s a sh*tshow, but she’s been on that side, and it’s not an easy place to be. Andy asks if they took a hit after the news of the affair, and Schwartz says, a little bit. There was boycott momentum at first, but it’s good now. Lala says, people were writing Team Ariana on the tips, and Schwartz admits there was Team Ariana and F*** Tom graffiti in the bathroom. Andy asks if Ariana is going to stop speaking to Lisa since she’s still friendly with Sandoval, and Ariana says, they won’t be as close. Lisa asks what Ariana expects her to do, and Ariana says she doesn’t expect anything from anyone. Andy asks if Ariana thinks Lisa should pull out of the business, and Ariana says, Lisa knows what’s best for he. She’s not someone who should give Lisa business advice. Lisa says, if it comes at a cost of friendship and loyalty… but Ariana says she’ll always love Lisa and support anything she does. It just won’t be a place she frequents. Lisa says she doesn’t want her and the Toms partnership to affect her and Ariana’s friendship. Andy says, Schwartz & Sandy’s wasn’t the only restaurant talked about this season. Ariana and Katie are going to make their bread and butter from a sandwich shop, Something About Her. Ariana says, they haven’t opened yet, but expect o by the end of May. Andy says, they started selling merch after the affair news broke, and Ariana says, they’ve made $200K. They thought they’d do it down the road, but people were asking how they could be supportive. Katie says, they brought Andy a shirt to replace the TomTom hoodie Raquel gave him. Andy says he’s switching gears. Last year, Lala was hard on Brock, and she and Scheana weren’t in a good place. Scheana says she thinks the kids brought them closer together, and they understood what they needed out of a friendship. Lala even bought the house next door to her in Palm Springs. Andy wonders if this is an issue with Katie. Schwartz had said Katie felt she didn’t get the same level of loyalty from Lala as she’s giving Scheana.

Katie says, if the roles were reversed, Lala probably wouldn’t be happy, but she didn’t make it an issue. Lala says she went to Scheana’s wedding, but aborted the mission on a lot of things. The kids were the reason they created the friendship. Katie says she understood that, but in the past, Lala said, anyone who talked to Scheana was dead to her. Andy asks if Scheana feels any differently, since she’d encouraged Schwartz and Raquel to make out. Scheana gets weepy, and says, she got a different perspective when she saw the show, and wishes she’d had more empathy for Katie. What she heard from Raquel about how Katie was treating her took over, and she was watching Raquel’s back. After watching the show, she feels different. Katie isn’t the person Raquel explained to her. She let what Raquel told her be bible, and it took her back to where she was bullied by Katie and Lala. We flash back to that, and Scheana says she felt like she needed to protect Raquel. Lala says, they’re not teaching pre-K; this is Bravo. No one is bullying anyone. Sandoval asks if Lala gets a get-out-of-jail-free card, and Lala tells him, STFU. Both he and Raquel triggered her, and now they know why. Sandoval says, Lala used Raquel as a scapegoat, but Lala says, she sniffed Raquel out a mile away; she moves like a snake. Sandoval says, it takes one to know one, and Lala says, and he has the balls to say, accountability, Katie. Lisa says, Lala has been aggressive in the bast, and Lal tells her not to stick up for Sandoval. Lisa says, she’s not; she’s talking about Lala. Everyone starts talking at once, and James gets up and leaves, saying, he’s not listening to this sh*t. In her trailer, Raquel says, oh my God.  

Next time – Part Two – Schwartz says, Katie has a history of diminishing his friendships; more of the one-on-one interviews; and Raquel joins the group.

🍸 Having My Own Kiki…

See you tomorrow for soap and recovery from this awful VanderMess. Until then, stay safe, stay bringing in ‘da noise and ‘da funk, and stay just having faith, since you can’t predict the future.

May 23, 2023 – Sonny Proposes To Nina, Teresa’s Epic Unforgettable Wedding, Closer To God & Behind

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dex punches the heavy bag at Volonino’s, when Spencer walks in. Dex says, it’s good to see him. He heard things got pretty rough in Greenland. Spencer says, that’s one way to put his uncle trying to kill millions of people, and Dex says, thank God he was able to stop it. Joss was worried about him. Spencer says he’d assume so; they’ve been friends their whole lives. Dex says he’s glad Spencer is back in one piece, and Spencer says, Dex can stop sucking up. There’s no one around here. Dex asks if Spencer can cut the attitude for five seconds, and Spencer says, Dex would like that, wouldn’t he? No. Not when every word that comes out of Dex’s mouth is a lie. His Uncle Sonny might trust Dex, but he doesn’t trust Dex as far as he can throw him. To him, Dex is always going to be a backstabbing traitor. Trina overhears.

Finn says, it looks like Chase has the weight of the world on his shoulders, and Chase says he doesn’t think Finn’s friend Tracy likes him very much. Finn says, Tracy’s not good at pulling her punches. She’s also good at protecting her family, and if you have a problem with one of them, you probably got a problem with her. Chase says he got that; loud and clear. She called him judgmental, and said he acts like Brook isn’t good enough for him. Finn says, that’s a little harsh, and Chase says he thought so too. Does Finn think that’s how Brook feels?

Brook tries to write song lyrics, when Ned comes in on the phone, saying, he knows tips to the SEC are anonymous, but someone must know who told them about Drew and Carly’s alleged insider trading… Okay. Thanks. He appreciates them looking into it. Let him know if they find anything. Brook asks what they was about, and Ned says, trying to prove his innocence. So far, she’s the only one who knows he’s not responsible for turning in Drew and Carly. Everything okay? She says she’s just working on another song, and he asks to take a look. He reads for a moment, and says, this looks dark. He’s guessing things aren’t any better with Chase. She says, things aren’t anything with Chase. He broke up with her, and now that he’s back at the PCPD, there’s no reason for them to see each other again.

On the phone in a MetroCourt alcove, Carly says she’s calling to check on a patient; Willow Corinthos… She’s Willow’s mother-in-law, Carly Spencer… That’s great. Thank you. It’s so good to hear. Olivia walks in, and they look at each other.

Sonny says, Nina is never going to be out in the cold because she’s always going to be a part of his life. She thanks him, but says, they both know this is going to be a fraught subject in their relationship. Think of the strain when she said she didn’t want to know about his business. This is the same thing. He says he’s not going to let that happen, but she says, it’s out of his control. There’s nothing he can do about it, because family comes first. She’s just going to have to learn to live with being on the outside. He says, she’s not going to be on the outside, because he’s going to spend the rest of his life proving it to her, but she says, that’s easy to say now. He says, now and forever, and she says, forever. He says, forever… if she marries him. She asks if he said what she thinks he did, and he says he’s asking her if she’d make him the happiest man ever and marry him. What does she say? He kisses her hand.

Dex says, it’s really good to see Trina. He was just telling Spencer how worried Joss was. She barely slept while they were missing. Spencer says, and he was just telling Dex that he doesn’t need to tell them how Joss feels about anything. Trina says, if it had been Joss on that boat, she would have been scared out of her mind. She’s glad Dex was there for her. Dex says he wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. He’s going to hit the shower. He’s glad they’re both home safe. Trina thanks him, and says, that’s nice to hear, isn’t it, Spencer? Spencer says, please, and Dex leaves. Trina says, Spencer does know he’s being a jerk, right? and Spencer says he doesn’t like the guy. Why should he pretend he does? She says, he’s dating Joss, and it would be better for everyone if they could just get along. He says, Dex hit on Joss while she was still dating Cam; absolutely not. Besides, it doesn’t matter; they’re not going to last. She asks, what makes him say that? and he says, because Joss has decided she hates his Uncle Sonny and all that he stands for. So dating his employee is a non-starter.

Chase tells Finn, it was nice of dad to defend him to Tracy, but the truth is, she might be right. He’s treated Brook unfairly. Finn says, Chase has a valid reason to be mad at Brook. She could have ruined his reinstatement at the PCPD. Chase says, what she did was wrong, but the only reason it happened was because she wanted to keep working with him, and she seems genuinely sorry for doing it. Finn says, remorse is a step in the right direction, and Chase says, she showed up at his hearing to speak on his behalf. That took a lot of guts, and seeing her there made him realize how much he’s missed her. Is he just being stubborn and punishing them both by not forgiving her? Finn says, Chase is the only one who can answer that, and Chase says, Finn is picking now to stop being his know-it-all big brother who loves telling him what to do? Finn says he thinks the question is, can Chase really forgive Brook? Can he really forgive her and put all of this behind them for good? Chase says he thinks so, and Finn says, then he thinks Chase owes it to both of them to find out. But what if they get back together and she does the same thing again? Chase has to be really honest with himself. Can he accept Brook for who she really is?

Olivia says she wasn’t expecting to see Carly here, and Carly says, because of Nina and the whole co-owner thing? She decided a long time ago not to live her life based on what that woman does. Besides, she was on her way out. Olivia says, Carly must hate her, but Carly says, hate Olivia? No, but her husband is a different story.

Ned asks if Brook isn’t being a bit dramatic, but she says she’s just stating the facts. She hasn’t seen Chase since Michael and Willow’s wedding, and they barely said ten words to each other. Ned asks if it might have something to do with the fact Brook’s been hiding from Chase, but she says she wasn’t hiding. She just had to get Chase away from granny before she… He says, before she what? and she says, with granny, who knows? He says, mother isn’t exactly the model of tact, when Tracy walks in, and says, nonsense. She’s an absolute delight wherever she is. Ned tells her, good morning, mother, and she says, aren’t the two of them the faces of doom. What’s wrong now? Ned says he still hasn’t found out who reported Drew and Carly to the SEC, and Tracy says, that’s right, because it wasn’t him. He says, it wasn’t; he’s not lying. Tracy says, and he’s known for his honesty and transparency, and Brook says, one way for him to prove it is to find the person who would want to hurt Carly and Drew. He says, besides him, and Brook says, actually, who would want to hurt Carly or Drew? They’re assuming it’s someone who wants to hurt the both of them. What if it’s someone who only wants to hurt one of them? Ned asks what she means, and she opens her notebook and says, check it out. She draws two circles that overlap somewhat, and says, these are Carly’s enemies, and these are Drew’s enemies. Tracy says, if she’s drawing to scale, Carly’s circle needs to be a lot bigger, and Brook points to the overlap and says, these are the people who knew about Carly purchasing Aurora’s stock. It could be somebody who’s only after Carly, or only after Drew, or after both of them. Tracy says, a diagram of revenge. How fun. Ned’s phone rings, and he steps away to take the call. Tracy says she’s glad Brook is helping her father. It’s a better use of her time than mooning over Harrison Chase, that ingrate. Brook asks, how Chase can be ungrateful when he doesn’t even know what she did for him? and Tracy turns away. Brook says, they had a deal. Tracy said she’d stay away from Chase if Brook went back to work at Deception, which she’s done. Tracy says, oops, and Brook asks what that means. What has Tracy done?

Nina says she’s sorry; she can’t marry Sonny. He asks if she’s saying, no, and she says she has to. This whole thing is all wrong. He says he admits this isn’t exactly how he planned to ask her to marry him, and she says, see? He didn’t plan on proposing to her. He’s just trying to make her feel better. He asks if she doesn’t think it would make them both feel better if she said, yes, and she says she loves him for doing this, but she doesn’t want a pity proposal. He says he feels a lot about her, but pity’s not one, and she asks what he calls this. He says, love, and she says she just got done telling him that she’s afraid his family is going to come between them, and he immediately asks her to marry him? It’s very kind of him… but he says, this isn’t about kindness. Kindness is him making her favorite pasta dish for dinner. He’s asking her to marry him. Yeah, he didn’t pick the right setting, and he should’ve had a big speech, but he didn’t think she’d need a candlelit dinner and champagne to agree to marry him. She says she doesn’t need that. She just needs to know that he really wants her to be his wife. Be honest with her. Has he ever thought of proposing to her before tonight? He says, as a matter of fact, yes, and takes a jewelry box out of his pocket, showing her the ring inside. Now does she believe him? He just didn’t know what the right time was because of Willow. They were both worried, and he never felt it was the right time. He guesses it’s not the right time now, and closes the box, but she says, that’s for her? He says he had it specially made for her, but if she doesn’t want it… She says, who wouldn’t want it? It’s beautiful. He really wants to marry her? He says, absolutely. Does she want to rethink her answer?

Dex goes into the steam room, when Josslyn comes in wearing a towel. She says, fancy seeing him here.

Trina tells Spencer that she hates to disappoint him, but Joss really cares for Dex. She doesn’t think he’s going anywhere. He says he doesn’t understand what Joss sees in him; they’re complete opposites. That relationship is going nowhere. She says, sometimes complete opposites make the best couples. You can’t put logic around love. The heart wants what it wants. He says, yes, it does, and kisses her. Josslyn walks in, fully dressed, and hugs Spencer, saying, she’s so happy to see him. She was so worried about him. He says, so he heard, and she asks if she should say she’s sorry about his uncle. He says, sorry for what? That he turned out to be a psychopath? No. He’s just embarrassed that he trusted Victor for as long as he did. She says, it’s not Spencer’s fault he wanted to believe the best about him, and Trina says, when Josslyn came in, she was upset. Is everything all right with Willow? Josslyn says, she’s fine. She’s doing the best she can. She’s going through chemo and preparing for the bone marrow transplant tomorrow. Josslyn and Michael got in a fight. Trina says, about what? and Josslyn says, nothing; she shouldn’t have said anything. Spencer says, maybe it’s too soon for him to get back to the gym. He should probably give it some time while he’s recovering from his acts of heroism, so he’ll see Trina later. He leaves, and Trina tells Josslyn, spill. What could possibly make her mad enough to argue with Michael while Willow’s fighting for her life?

Tracy says she made sure Detective Chase knows he’s not good enough for Brook. She made it perfectly clear she doesn’t like him looking down his nose at her granddaughter. Brook asks what he said, and Tracy says, not a lot actually. His father, however, Jeremy… Brook says, Gregory, and Tracy says, whatever. Felt the need to insert himself in their conversation and defend Chase. Brook says, things weren’t mortifying enough, and Tracy says she did get her point across, however. Brook asks, why? She did exactly as Tracy asked. She had no right to talk to Chase. Tracy says, relax. He’s a big boy. He can handle it. Brook says, that’s not the point; he shouldn’t have to. She’s the one who messed up. She’s the one who was slow to send her letter to the CCRB. Tracy says, she more than made up for it by having her grease the wheels and a few palms to get him reinstated, and Brook asks why she couldn’t just stay out of it like she promised. Tracy says, what’s done is done, and why does Brook want to be with someone who keeps judging her. Brook is better off without him as far as she’s concerned.

Chase says he guesses that’s the big question. Is he willing to accept Brook for who she is, or does he want her to be someone she isn’t? Finn says he learned the hard way. Sometimes two people want to be together and they try their best, but they’re just too different to make it work. Chase says, this whole conversation could be pointless. Who knows if Brook will take him back, considering the way he’s treated her. Finn says, Tracy’s his friend, but she’s not always the most reliable narrator. What’s his gut telling him? Chase says, that he needs to fix this, and he gets up. Finn says, good luck with all that, but Chase grabs his arm and says, Finn is going to help him.

Olivia tells Carly that she’s sorry. She had no idea Ned was even thinking about going to the SEC. Carly says she believes Olivia, and knows Olivia would have told her had she known. Olivia says, to get blindsided like that, especially at Michael and Willow’s wedding… and Carly says she can’t believe Ned would stoop so low. Olivia says she knows it doesn’t help, but she’s absolutely furious with Ned. They’ve done nothing but fight ever since this came out. Carly asks if Ned is staying at the MetroCourt; she doesn’t want to run into him. Olivia asks why he’d be staying at the hotel, and Carly says, where else would he go if Olivia kicked him out? She did kick him out, didn’t she?

Trina says she knows everyone is on edge, but it’s not like Josslyn and Michael to fight, especially with what they’re going through. Josslyn says she knows the timing wasn’t great, but she can’t help it. He’s being unfair. Trina says, about what? and Josslyn says, he’s just being a condescending ass who thinks he knows everything. Trina says, she’s really mad. What did he do? Josslyn says, he just refuses to accept the fact that what she and Dex have is real. He says, Josslyn is in college, so it’s just a phase. There are plenty of other guys. He acts like she’ll just forget about Dex the second he leaves town. Trina asks if Dex is going somewhere.

In the steam room, Dex says, just who he wanted to see, and he and Josslyn kiss passionately. Their towels fall to the floor. Obviously, he’s daydreaming, which Spencer ruins by walking in.

Olivia tells Carly that she was clear with Ned; calling the SEC was unconscionable. Carly says, but she didn’t throw him out, and Olivia says, no, she didn’t. Carly says, she could go to prison because of Olivia’s husband, and Olivia says, Carly did buy Aurora stock because she had privileged information about a possible merger with ELQ. She’s not entirely innocent. Carly says she was helping her son, and Olivia says she gets it. They’d both do anything to help their children. She told Ned that she thought his behavior was disgusting… Carly says, but? and Olivia says, but she’s worked too hard on her marriage to throw it away just because Ned told the truth.

Ned asks if something happened while he was gone, and asks what Tracy did. Tracy asks why everyone in the house always thinks the worst of her, and Ned says, fool us once. Tracy says, if he must know, she helped his daughter get a little self-esteem, something he should have done a long time ago, but he says, Brook’s self-esteem is fine. He’s asking again – what did Tracy do to her? Tracy says, he means, what did he do for her. She’s lucky to have someone on her side. Brook asks if they hear that, and Ned says, barely. Brook says, that’s her song, and goes out on the patio. Ned holds Tracy back from following her, and Brook finds Finn outside, holding up a speaker, like the boombox in Say Anything. Chase sings with the music; now we’re gonna make it; we were born to be together.

Nina says she’s sorry. She can’t marry Sonny. She can’t risk causing any more trouble in his life. She’s already cost him so much. He says, not as much as she’s given him. He loves her. He loves everything about her. He loves the passion she has for her life. He loves that she lets him be who he is. She doesn’t try to change him. Nina says, because he’s perfect, and he says, because she helped him get there. From the second he met her. He didn’t know who he was; it didn’t matter. Because he knows what he felt, and he still does. She sees things in him other people don’t see. He can be Sonny. He doesn’t have to be the boss, or someone who has their guard up. When he was at his worst, she stood up for him, no matter how much he pushed her away. So when she started talking about her family and how they were slipping away, he didn’t feel pity; he felt recognition. They’re the same way. They make mistakes and ask for forgiveness. He knows how hard that was for Nina, but he knows why she did it. Because she’s brave, and she’s a fighter, and he wants her to allow him to fight alongside of her. Will she be his partner for life, because he can’t imagine his life without her. He gets down on one knee, and says, Nina Reeves, will you marry me? He holds out the ring.

Dex asks if Spencer is done with this workout, and Spencer says, not that it’s any of Dex’s business, but he’s still recovering from what happened in Greenland. He and Joss have known each other a long time… Dex says, Spencer said that once or twice, and Spencer says, he, Cameron, and Josslyn all grew up together. Dex says he gets it. Spencer makes it very clear he wishes Cameron and Josslyn were still together. Spencer says, they were happy before Dex came along, and Dex says, Cameron seems like a good guy, but Joss makes her own choices about who she’s with. Spencer says, Dex is right. All he’s saying is, the three of them have a history with one another, and Dex has been here… three months? Dex says, a year actually, and Spencer says his point is, he knows Josslyn better than Dex ever will. Dex says, is that so? and Spencer asks, what’s Josslyn’s favorite movie of all time? It’s Children of the Corn. What snack did she used to sneak into the kitchen late at night to grab? Chocolate chips, dipped in peanut butter. Then, when she was ten years old, she sprained her wrist because she fell off Whiskey. Dex says, whiskey? and Spencer says, one of the Cassadine horses. They have those. She hurt herself real bad when they were taking a ride on Spoon Island. Dex says, at least she made a full recovery (I will not make a joke here… I will not make a joke here…), and Spencer says, his point is, he knows these things because he and Josslyn go way back. Dex tells him, so he’s said, but all Spencer’s examples prove is he knew her as a kid. He doesn’t seem to have a clue as to who Josslyn is now.

Josslyn says, Dex isn’t going anywhere, and Trina says, so who cares what Michael thinks? She and Dex know how they feel about each other, so there’s nothing Michael can do to break them up, right? She gets it. She knows what it’s like when people close to you think you’re too young to know what you want. No one approved of her and Spencer in the beginning. Some people still don’t, but what matters is that they know they’re supposed to be together.

Carly asks when Ned has ever told the truth, and Olivia says, Drew gave Carly privileged information and she acted on it. Carly says she lost money. The SEC never would have looked at them if Ned hadn’t pointed the SEC at them, and that was after he sided with Valentin and killed the merger. Olivia says, those are all business decisions, and have nothing to do with her, and Carly says, so if it doesn’t personally affect her, Olivia is just going to turn a blind eye to whatever Ned does? Olivia says, it’s not her job to police Ned’s business tactics, and she’s not going to ruin her marriage over it, and Carly says, got it. Olivia tries to say something, but Carly says, they shouldn’t talk about this, and Olivia says she has to get back to work.

Chase continues to sing to Brook (Finn’s arms must be getting tired), and Ned and Tracy watch from the doorway. The song ends, and Finn says he thinks they can take it from here. He goes inside, and Tracy says she can’t believe Finn got roped into that ridiculous display. Finn says, it’s all very embarrassing, but what can he say? Chase is family. Ned says, amen, and Tracy smiles.

Brook asks what Chase is doing here, and he says, trying to get back the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Nina asks how she got so lucky. Sonny is the best man she’s ever known. He’s kind, he’s brave, he’s strong, and no matter what the obstacle that’s in front of him, he never gives up on getting what he wants. Sonny says he doesn’t, and she says, and he wants her. He says, now she’s getting it, and she says she wants to believe him, but she can’t stop thinking that one day he’s going to realize she’s more trouble than she’s worth. He says, that’s not going to happen. He knows exactly who she is, and his eyes are wide open. He’s not going anywhere. She asks if he’s sure, and he says he’s never been more sure in his life. A lot of people said he’s not worth it. She says, well, they’re wrong, because he’s worth everything. He’s her rock. If it hadn’t been for him these past few months… Finding out Willow was her daughter, seeing her get so sick. She would have fallen apart if Sonny hadn’t been there for her. She loves him so much for that; more than she can say. He asks if that’s a yes, and she says, yes! throwing her arms around him. She says she can’t wait to marry him, and they kiss.

Spencer says, Dex doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about, and Dex says, Spencer acts like he doesn’t want Josslyn hanging around with them anymore; like he’s stealing Josslyn away from them. Spencer says, as if he could. She may be sleeping with Dex right now, but she’ll get tired of this little walk on the wild side. Dex jumps up (towel staying in place) and tells Spencer to watch it. Spencer says, Dex has no future with this girl. Joss is smart and motivated, and she’s going places. She wants to be a doctor. Dex, on the other hand, is muscle for hire who works for her ex-stepfather, who she hates by the way. There’s no way they’ll be happy together. Dex says, here’s what he knows about Joss. She makes up her own mind, and she deserves a lot better than an entitled punk like Spencer. Spencer pulls back his arm to punch Dex.

Sonny tells Nina to close her eyes, and put the ring on her finger. He says she can open them, and she admires the ring. She says, it’s absolutely beautiful; the ring of her dreams, given to her by the man of her dreams. They hug, and she says, they’re getting married. Get used to it because she’s going to be saying it a million times. He says he’s never going to get tired of hearing her say it, and she asks what they do now. He says he’s thinking there’s a candlelit dinner and champagne with their names on it, and she asks if he’s sure. He says, since she agreed to marry him, he thinks it qualifies as a special occasion. He takes her hand, and says, let’s go.

Chase asks Brook to hear him out. He knows he has a lot to make up for… She grabs his lapels, pulls him to her, and kisses him. Inside, Finn says, it looks like Tracy’s little plan failed, and she says, did it though? Chase says, there’s something he has to tell Brook, and she asks if they can’t talk later, but he says, she needs to hear this now. He misses her. He misses talking to her, and hearing her laugh. Her teasing him and bossing him around, and choosing his wardrobe. His life is so much duller without her in it. He’s back on the force, and should be thrilled, but after every shift, if it goes well, he wants to talk to her. And if it doesn’t go well, he wants to talk to her even more. He was so unfair to her. She says she’s the one who needs to apologize. She knows how much being a detective means to him, and she still held off writing that letter. She selfishly wanted to keep him singing so they could spend more time together. She knew it was wrong, and she’s so, so sorry. He says he’s sorry too. She’s really trying to be a better person. She wants to be better for him. He says he thinks that’s perfect because they’re pretty great together. So what does she say? Does she forgive him?

Olivia goes to the elevator, and the doors open to Nina and Sonny making out. Olivia clears her throat, and Sonny says, don’t mind them. They were just having fun. Olivia asks if they’re getting out any time soon, and Nina says, sorry. They get out, Olivia goes in, and says, have a nice night. The doors close, and Sonny asks, what’s wrong with her? Nina says she doesn’t know and doesn’t care. She doesn’t want to think about anyone else right now. Tonight, she and Sonny are the only two people in the entire world. They kiss.

Dex comes out, sees Josslyn with Trina, and says, this is a surprise. Josslyn kisses him, and says, a nice one she hopes. He says, always, and she asks if he wants to go to dinner. He says he’d love to, and Trina asks if he happened to see Spencer in there. He says he thinks Spencer is still in the locker room, and Trina asks if Spencer said anything to him. He says, nothing important, and he and Josslyn leave.

Finn asks if Tracy is saying she wanted this to happen, and she says, obviously, but his brother needed a little incentive. Her talk was designed to provoke him into doing something exactly like that. Finn looks at her skeptically, and says he’s not sure if she’s telling the truth, or just trying to save face. She says she’s been married a few times, and Ned says, more than a few. She says, if there’s one thing she’s learned, it’s never underestimate the power of reverse psychology on a man, and Ned tells Finn, word of advice; never second guess his mother.

Brook says, there’s nothing to forgive, but Chase says, yes, there is. He was being stubborn, standing on some stupid principle, making them both miserable. She says she’s not holding a grudge, and he says, good, because the last thing he wants is for her to feel bad about herself. She tells Chase, shut up and kiss me, and he does.

Spencer comes out with a cut on his lip, and Trina asks, what happened to him? He says, don’t worry about it, and she says, Dex hit him? Dex didn’t say anything about it when he came out. Spencer says, they got into it a little, and Trina says she can’t believe Dex did that. She’s texting Joss. He says, don’t. He threw the first punch. She says, but Dex didn’t look hurt, and Spencer says, he blocked it and then he got in a hit and walked away. She says, so Spencer is saying he started the fight, and Dex defended himself, then stopped it from going any further. He says he guesses, and she says, come on. Joss is her best friend, and Dex means a lot to her. Why can’t he and Dex get along? He says, it’s not his fault, and she says, so it’s all on Dex. He says, yes. He’s tried to be nice to the guy, but it’s impossible.

Hostess Trish uncorks the champagne, and Nina thanks her and says, every celebration needs a little champagne. Trish asks what they’re celebrating, and Nina says, they’re engaged. At the elevator, Carly hears, and turns around to see them kiss.

Tomorrow, Curtis wonders if he gave up on their marriage too quickly; Portia wants to speak with Jordan; and Diane says, Carly has options, but she’s not going to like them.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Teresa Gets Married

We flash back over highlights of Teresa and Louie’s relationship. Teresa says, they’re savoring these last moments before becoming husband and wife. I wonder what the chances of no fights, since the Gorgas aren’t attending.

One day to wedding; the Rehearsal Dinner. In her interview, Teresa says she never thought she’d find the love of her life. We find out Louie sits down when he pees, which we did not need to know. Louie’s older sister Veronica is going to be the officiant, and Teresa says, Veronica is the sister she never had. In Dolores’s interview, she says, she and Teresa have been friends for 28 years, and it’s comforting to see Teresa find love. It’s painful that her parents aren’t there, but never in a million years did she think Teresa’s brother wouldn’t be there. The wedding party is massive, and Louie says he pictures Bill in his life forever, even though Bill was added five minutes ago. In her interview, Teresa says, the people there are rooting for them and their love, and are actually happy for them. Gia tells Dolores, the only thing stressing her mom out is her uncle, and in Gia’s interview, she says, he completely burned the bridge. It’s over for everybody.  Dolores says, you can’t move forward if you don’t let things go, and tells Jennifer that it’s hard to watch; the kids get affected. They loved and adored their uncle. Jennifer suggests they concentrate on the happy stuff, and Dolores says she wants nothing more than for Joe #2 to give Teresa away, but Jennifer says, life is not a fairytale. There aren’t always happy endings. Wow. She’s a real fortune cookie genius.

The table settings are lavish and there’s lots of sparkle everywhere. In Teresa’s interview, she says, Louie’s mom reminds her of her mom. She wishes her parents had met Louie. Her mom didn’t want her with Juicy Joe; she wanted her to find someone who would treat her like a queen. She knew her soulmate was out there, and she’s glad she got him. Louie thanks his dad, Louie Sr., for coming, and in Louie’s interview, he says he had a hard time growing up. His father is an alcoholic, but he’s recovered now for 8 years. Louie has done a lot of healing, and today his father means the world to him. Louie Sr. says he feels beyond blessed that Louie has Teresa and her beautiful daughters. The day he goes to the big casino upstairs, he’ll go comfortable knowing Louie has a woman who has his back. Jennifer tells Paulie that she doesn’t like whiskey, scotch, or bourbon, but she likes the affect. Teresa says she can’t wait to party; they’re going to dance all night. Is it mean of me to hope this marriage fails eventually? In a big way?

Wedding Day. In Teresa’s interview, she says she considers hairdresser Lucia and makeup artist Priscilla two of her best friends. They’ve known each other for over 10 years, and they were always there for her. They’re practically family. Teresa reads a super long text, and in her interview, she says, it’s Angie, who’s been a family friend for years. She worked in the hospital where they made visits when her dad got sick. Angie helped care for her dad. Angie texts that she had a dream about Teresa’s parents walking her down the aisle. Her dad said, no tears today. Ironically, this makes Teresa cry, and Angie texts that Teresa’s parents are going to hold her hand the whole time. They love her so much. In her interview, Teresa says, Louie would have loved her parents. She’s asked them be with her all day. Lucia says, they’re here with her, and Gia gets weepy. Teresa tells Lucia that Joe #2 isn’t coming. It’s okay though. In Gia’s interview, she says, her uncle’s name shouldn’t even be present in the conversation. Teresa says, things happen for a reason. She’s with her chosen family.

Bill asks if Louie is nervous, but Louie says, no. Jennifer comes into the bride’s prep room, and asks if she can borrow Teresa. She wants to give Teresa something. She gives Teresa a pendant she had made that features a photo of Teresa’s parents. Teresa says, it’s her favorite picture of them, and Jennifer says she’s sorry for telling Danielle about the cheating rumor. She feels like she played a part Joe and Melissa not wanting to come. Teresa says, it’s not Jennifer’s fault; they made their decision. Gabriella says, they’d better not be talking about her uncle, and in her interview, she says she thinks it’s unfair that people keep bringing up her uncle’s name. It’s a sensitive topic, and makes Teresa upset. Teresa tells Jennifer, it’s been over 10 years. She’s done. This is the way it’s supposed to be. Jennifer says, today, just positive vibes, and Gabriella says she doesn’t want to hear her uncle’s name, and Melania wants to know why Gabriella is crying.

2 hours to the wedding. In Teresa’s interview, she says, her daughters are overprotective. They’ve only had each other, and they just want her to be happy. She didn’t want her brother mentioned. Her daughters have seen what he caused for the past ten years; the past few months. It’s been a long road. Everything’s all gorgeous, as you’d expect. The price tag for this extravaganza was $500,000. Half a million. It’s insane, but consider the source. Louie gathers the guys, and says, it’s a pivotal moment. He never thought he’d find someone as loyal as Teresa. It’s the blessest [sic] he’s ever felt. Is he picking up Teresa’s bad pronunciation habits? Seeing Teresa with his family, he felt he found the one. He thanks them for being here. Teresa’s hair is now happening, and in her interview, she says, she told Lucia that she wanted her hair half up, half down. Lucia says, it’s the biggest project she’s done yet. Teresa wanted a big crown, and this one is stupid big. Lucia says, the hair has to work around the crown, and in Teresa’s interview, she says she loves big, dramatic statement pieces.  I guess so. She loves her hair’s height, and Lucia says, there are over 1500 pins in Teresa’s hair. In Jennifer’s interview, she says she’s a team player, so she’s not going to say anything, but the hair is supposed to be an accent piece, not the main event. Gia bets Queen Elizabeth has a crown like Teresa’s, but I think QE’s crowns were probably more understated. In Dolores’s interview, she says she’d like it to be lower, but Teresa looks beautiful and can pull it off.

In Danielle’s interview, she says, things got out of hand at Paulie’s house. She knew what she’d said would be the reason Joe #2 isn’t here, but this is Teresa’s day. There are a lot of random Bravolebrities on the guest list, and Marge says she told her mom not to come because Melissa and Joe wouldn’t be there. In her interview, Marge says, Joe and Melissa feel betrayed. She has a hard time wrapping her head around it herself. It’s devastating. People start to sit, and the finishing touches are put on Teresa, who says she’s so happy. The guests, not so much, since it’s 93 degrees outside. I can identify here. My wedding day was also in the 90s, and the venue had no air conditioning. Luckily, we were near a lake and the breeze was in our favor. In her interview, Danielle says, it’s a million degrees and the makeup is melting. In Marge’s interview, she says, they’re going to smell like swamp ass. It’s not good. 4 minutes to go.

The Wedding Ceremony. Louie says he can’t believe this day is here, and the endless amount of bridesmaids come down the aisle, as Verdi’s Ave Maria is played by a violin quartet. Why does this chick try to be classy, then go apesh*t all the time? Theresa comes out.

In Marge’s interview, she says, as Teresa gets closer, her hair gets bigger. She’s waiting for doves to fly out of it. She says, Teresa looks gorgeous though. It takes a special woman to pull it off. In Danielle’s interview, she says, you know the saying, the higher the hair, the closer to God? God is looking up at Teresa’s hair. In Louie’s interview, he says, Teresa’s hair is standing up 3 feet, but it’s what she wanted, and that’s beautiful. Veronica welcomes the guests who are witnessing the incredible union of Louie and Teresa. She can’t think of two people more suited for one another. Me neither. The guests have been invited to share their commitment. Louie says a bunch of BS, and Teresa says a bunch of BS, ending with, today is the day they become one. She’s going to love him for a million tomorrows. Did she get that off the internet? It sounds like one of those cut and paste things catfishers use. They join hands, and say their vows. Veronica puts a little spin on it, asking if Louie will be okay with always having the smaller closet, and if Teresa can overlook endless dog hair on the furniture. They exchange rings, and Veronica says, it’s her deepest honor to pronounce them wife and husband. There’s applause, and Veronica tells Louie to kiss his gorgeous bride. Everyone cheers, and in Teresa’s interview, she says she did feel her parents there. It was so magical, beautiful, and perfect.

The Wedding Reception. Jackie says, it looks like Teresa and Louie belong together, and Marge says, the only people crying were her and Louie. Jennifer says, everyone is thinking about Joe #2, and Marge says, they’re all here, but Joe and Melissa aren’t. How can she feel as happy as she should? She’s thinking of cutting out early, but Jackie tells her not to leave early because of that. Jen says, it doesn’t have anything to do with her, and Marge says, they’ll have a good time and not talk about it.

The reception is all fabulous and over-the-top with lots of food. There are fire dancers and acrobats, and when Jen sees there’s mac and cheese, she says she’s never been so happy. Teresa and Louie go to the bridal suite to change, and Marge says she’s going to watch them walk in, and then slip out. In Dolores’s interview, she says, today is about Teresa, and they can keep the issues under wraps right now. There’s always next week. Everyone starts looking at their phones, and I’m appalled that they’re at a reception and don’t have their phones off. Except for Bill, who’s a doctor. There are headlines about Joe #2 being out for Teresa’s blood, and in Jennifer’s interview, she says, Teresa can’t have a happy day. It’s bad enough not to have her one family member by her side, but now he’s bashing her on social media. Teresa can’t see the posts. This is so stupid and wrong on so many levels, including common courtesy, and Louie says, oh my God. One more message on Instagram, and he’s going to bury them. Them not coming is f***ed up, and doing what they’re doing is crazy. Oh come on. They might as well have said they didn’t want them there. We see a line of flappers dancing, and in his interview, Louie says, Joe and Melissa’s behavior is disgusting. He’s not telling Teresa. She deserves to have her day. Teresa comes out in her second dress, which I really love; it’s like a sexy prairie style in white lace. A stripper comes out, with tassels and huge feathered fans, and I’m like, WTF? along with most of the guests. In Danielle’s interview, she says, there’s a titty lady in front of her. She doesn’t think she put enough in the gift envelope. In Teresa and Louie’s joint interview, Teresa says, she wanted their wedding to be sexy and hot. She wanted it to be epic; something people wouldn’t forget. Louie asks if they actually had someone sitting in a martini glass, and yep, they did. Teresa says she wanted the dancers to be with as less clothes [sic] as possible. She twirls around in her dress, which also has hem to waist slits in the skirt. Jennifer says, they’re finally going to party. The bridal party is announced, and as they walk in, Marge and Jen sneak out.

Louie and Teresa dance, and in Gia’s interview, she says, it’s the most beautiful thing to watch the special day they’ve waited so long for. It looks like a fairytale. There’s some kind of circle dance, and in her interview, Teresa says, she feels the love. Everyone’s happy for them, and she’s grateful. Louie is all the family she needs. The bride and groom make the rounds, which is why you never get to eat at your own wedding. That stuff takes a while. I note that Phaedra is very blond now, and a sword swallower comes out. The emcee asks Teresa’s daughters to come to the stage, and they say good things about Louie. In Teresa’s interview, she says, to have the approval of her daughters is the biggest reward. She’s proud of herself. She got to show her daughters the type of man to be with. Gia says, they love him. It’s truly a fairytale, and she’s happy to call them a family. There’s dancing, and someone wearing a disco ball for a head mingles with the guests. Or maybe they are a guest. I have no idea. Louie takes the mic, and thanks everyone for coming – their friends and family. Teresa pipes up, chosen family, and they cut the cake, which is humongous, but relatively simple. There’s a  tier of crystals in the middle, which is pretty cool. In Teresa and Louie’s interview, she says, she feels lucky. Everything was perfect. Louie says, it’s only getting better. He’d love to see their blended family grow, and them be grandparents. Teresa says, they have lots of time for that, and they kiss.

Next time – The Reunion – Teresa has a gorgeous new haircut; Jennifer says, Marge has old lady energy; Dolores says, Paulie is not divorced yet; Rachel tells Danielle not to take it out on her; Teresa says she’s never looking at Melissa again; Marge tells Melissa to sleep with one eye open; Joe #2 asks why Teresa is covering for someone; Marge says her kid was threatened at work; Andy does some yelling; and Teresa walks off the set.

👰🏻‍♀️ Main Event Hair…

In case you want to see it for yourself.

🪩 Loving To Boogie…

Make a return trip tomorrow for soap and a terrifying Reunion. Reunions are always awful, with everyone talking and yelling at once. This one ought to beat them all. Well, maybe not RHONJ… Until then, stay safe, stay shutting down put downs, and stay not trying to put logic around love. The heart wants what it wants.