What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Scotty says, so Finn needs some legal advice. What are they talking about? Malpractice? Finn and Elizabeth look at each other, and Scotty points to his watch, and tells them, time and elevators wait for no one. Finn says, it’s about Peter August.

Valentin asks if he’s on Anna’s list of friends, and she says, of course (🍷) he is. He’s been a wonderful friend. She couldn’t have gotten through the last few months without him. He says, nor he without her. He strokes her hair, and they come pretty close to kissing.

The bartender at the MetroCourt asks what Austin will have, and Austin says his father used to order a Manhattan, and gives the bartender specifics on the rye. The bartender says he’s got it, and leaves. Sam approaches Austin, and says, that’s interesting. A simple country doctor who’s pretty particular in his choice of whiskey. He says she’s questioning his choice of drinks. Is there anything she’s not suspicious of? She says, no.

Ava comes in, and sees Nikolas at a table having a beer, but keeps walking to the bar. She says Austin’s drink looks positively sinful. She’ll have whatever this handsome stranger is having. She sits and says hi to Sam.

Diane joins Spinelli at Charlie’s, and he thanks her for meeting him. She says she’s always happy to assist him. First of all, does he anticipate this situation becoming litigious? He says, heaven forbid. The last thing he wants to do is go to court with Ellie. She asks what the situation is. Tell her he didn’t cheat on Ellie. He says, no, never, and she says she had to ask, doing her due diligence. He says Ellie is concerned about his exposure to potentially dangerous, and allegedly criminal activity. To wit, Sonny’s organization is under pressure from potentially dangerous entities like the Novak family. She asks if he’s told Jason any of this, but he says he doesn’t want to burden Jason. He just came home from being a fugitive. He and Carly have plenty of troubles of their own.

Carly tells Josslyn that she’s sorry. She’s just really distracted right now. She has a lot on her plate. Josslyn asks if she wants to talk about it, but Carly says it’s nothing Josslyn should be worried about. Josslyn says she’s not worried. Whatever it is Carly is worried about, Josslyn knows she can always talk to Jason.

Britt is standing in her office, when Jason comes in and says her name. She turns around, and smiles, asking what brings him to her door. He says he just wanted to see her, and she says, what a coincidence. She wanted to see him too. He flashes back to Carly saying she keeps thinking about what Ava told them about it being theater; a performance that demonstrates a binding contract. Does he see where she’s going? Is she wrong? He says she’s not wrong. The lightbulb goes on over my head, and I think, they’re going to get married, aren’t they? and I hate Carly for ruining my plans. Britt asks where Jason went, and he says he’s sorry; he was just thinking about business. She asks if he came to her office to think about business, but he says he came to ask her if she wanted to grab a beer. She says, a beer sounds really great, and takes his arm. She says, just so he knows, he’s buying.

Josslyn tells Carly, it must be great to have Jason as a best friend. Don’t get her wrong. Trina is all kinds of awesome, and she’d be lost without her, but Jason is on a whole other level. When Carly tells him something, he keeps it in the vault; he can physically protect her; and he’s patient when she totally melts down. Carly asks who says she melts down on Jason? and Josslyn says, wild guess. Carly says, enough about her and Jason. Right now it’s about Josslyn. It’s a very important time for her. She has her team building trip for volleyball, where she gets to meet all the new girls, she has her classes for PCU, and best of all, she has graduation and Trina’s party afterwards. Josslyn says Carly just hit the one area where Trina beats Jason; she’s social and actually wants to party. Carly says Jason doesn’t really like social events, and Josslyn says that’s why Carly is Jason’s best friend. They balance each other out. She hugs Josslyn, and asks if Josslyn can do her a favor. She just put Donna down, and she’d like Josslyn to hang out with Avery. She’s missed Josslyn. Josslyn says she missed Avery too, and goes upstairs. Carly looks pained.

Spinelli tells Diane, it’s no use giving Ellie assurances about Jason and Carly, that alas, he’s in no position to give. Diane’s phone rings, and she looks at it, saying, this might be serendipitous. She steps away, and Carly says she needs to talk to her. Is she free? Diane asks if she’s home, and Carly says, yes. Diane says she’s on her way. She tells Spinelli, her best advice to him is just talk to Ellie. Tell her why he’s so loyal to Jason, and everything Jason has done for him. She’s sure they can come to some kind of compromise. They’re both incredibly smart people, and they love each other. She has no doubt they can work this out. She leaves, and a man approaches Spinelli. He says, Spinelli, right? and sits down. Spinelli says, and he is…? He says, Joseph Novak, but his buddies call him Joey. He holds out his hand.

Scotty says, Peter August? If he ever showed his face in this town again, Scotty would make him pay for every tear he caused Elizabeth and the boys. Not to mention the fact that every time he picks up the phone to call his son, he knows his son isn’t there because he was murdered in cold blood by Peter August. Elizabeth says, no one wants to add to Scotty’s pain, and Scotty says, Franco’s not the only kid he buried; first there was Karen, then Logan. He would give anything to have that time back, to spend it with his kids again. Finn says he’s sorry; he had no idea. Elizabeth says, it’s awful. Every moment a parent gets with their child is a gift. She pointedly looks at Finn, and Scotty says he’s sorry he’s ranting like this. It’s just that at the mention of Peter, he goes berserk. He’s sorry. What can he do for Finn?

Anna and Valentin put their hands together, palm to palm, and link fingers. Her phone rings, and he says, as far as bad timing goes, that was exquisite. He asks if she’s going to take it, and she does. Dante asks if it’s a good time to talk, and Anna asks what he’s got. He says Jordan just sent him the Medical Examiner’s report on nurse Chloe Jennings. He forwarded it to her. She asks him to give her the bullet points, and he says, the cause of death was a broken neck she sustained when she fell into the abandoned mine shaft. They also ran a DNA test. Take a look, and let him know if she has any questions.

Ava asks if Sam is going to introduce her to this very handsome man, and Austin says, this is fun. Stuff like this doesn’t happen in Pawtuck. Ava says, Pawtuck? How charming. Is he some kind of outdoorsman? Sam asks if Ava isn’t going to order a drink for Nikolas – her husband. Remember him? Austin says, her husband. How didn’t he see that? He could see that rock from space.

Dante sits with Nikolas, and says Nikolas wanted an update on the stalker investigation. Nikolas asks if he traced the bear that was left for Avery in the hotel, and Dante asks if they shouldn’t wait for Ava. She was the one who seemed most upset. Nikolas says, Ava is learning how to get over it, and they both look at the bar.

Ava tells Austin, don’t worry about that. She has an open marriage. Sam says, since when? and Ava says, since recent events changed things. In fact, her marriage is about to be blown wide open. Sam points, and tells Austin, see that guy in the grey suit? That’s Nikolas, Ava’s husband. He’s sitting with Dante. Austin remembers Dante, doesn’t he? Austin says, sure do. He thinks Dante had enough of him in Pawtuck, and the last thing he needs is a jealous husband, so if they’ll excuse him… Ava says, please don’t go. She doesn’t even know his name. Sam says, his name is Austin, like the city in Texas. Ava says, that man is her husband, but truth be told, they’re getting a divorce. Sam says, excuse me?… Excuse me. She leaves, and Austin says he’s sorry to hear that; it sounds very difficult. Ava tells him, come sit, and orders another round for her and her new friend. The bartender says he’ll be right with them. He goes in the hallway, and makes a call. He says they wanted him to let them know if something was going on. They should stop by and see for themselves.

Finn tells Scotty that he’s going to need legal representation, and Scotty says he doesn’t understand. Finn just pulled off a miracle cure, and saved Chase’s life. Why would he need legal advice about Peter? Elizabeth says, what Finn is talking about is hypothetical, right? and Finn says, there’s nothing hypothetical about his feelings for Peter. He made no secret about the fact he hated Peter, and they almost came to blows every time Peter came into the hospital. Scotty says that makes Finn like everyone else in this town who wanted to punch Peter in the nose. That is no crime. Elizabeth tells Finn that he has nothing to worry about, but Finn says, there might be. Peter vanished, and the police are looking for him. Won’t they start looking at his known enemies? Elizabeth tries to intervene, but Scotty tells her to hold on. Finn is making himself perfectly clear. Does he know something about Peter’s whereabouts?

Valentin comes in with more wood for the fire, and sees Anna working. He asks, what’s with the laptop? and she says, it’s amazing what you can find in a Pawtuck rental. He says, room service? and she says she wishes. He asks what Dante said, and she says he sent the Medical Examiner’s report, and they managed to ID the woman posing as Chloe Jennings. Her real name is Marie Hopkins. He says, that’s a helluva break. What do they know about her? She says, next to nothing. She managed to pass herself off as a competent nurse, but she didn’t hesitate to drug Maxie, and try to kidnap Maxie and the baby, which to her, doesn’t sound like somebody operating under duress. He says, sounds like a pro, and she says, but a pro with no history. Could it be someone Peter’s father knew? He says, someone the PCPD doesn’t know? and she says, but the WSB might.

Outside, Josslyn instructs Avery on the importance of putting holes in the jar lid so the fireflies can breathe. One day, she and Avery are going to teach Donna how to catch fireflies, and how you gently cradle them in your hand before putting them in the jar, and then watch them light up. Avery says, and then they set them free, and Josslyn says, a girl after her own heart. Look! There’s more. Avery jumps to catch one.

Carly gives Diane a drink, and hopes she didn’t take her away from something important. Diane says, Spinelli sends his regards, and Carly asks if everything is okay, but Diane says, it was more of an informal conversation; a catch-up between friends. They did touch on a legal question, so she can’t say much more. How can she help Carly? Is she there as a friend or attorney? Carly says, this definitely needs to be covered under attorney/client privilege, and Diane says, understood. Carly says, Jason is getting pressure from the other families, specifically about her involvement in the business, because she went to a meeting when Jason was incapacitated. Diane says she thinks the phrase Carly is looking for is, shot while trying to escape, and Carly says, the point is, Jason couldn’t be there, so she went in his place. Diane says, leading to a perception problem, correct? Because when a family appears vulnerable, even if they’re not, it can lead to chaos, which leads to violence, and violence tends to rattle everybody. So the question becomes, how do you change the narrative? Carly flashes back to Jason saying, if they take this step, it will send a message that Carly supports him, and there’s no possibility of divide and conquer. She says, it makes sense from a business perspective, and he says, besides complete destruction, it’s the best option he’s heard so far. Carly tells Diane, she and Jason might have come up with something.

Spinelli says, look, Mr. Novak, but Novak says he told Spinelli, his friends call him Joey. Spinelli says, Joey. He’s unable to pursue an acquaintance right now. He’s late for an appointment. He starts to get up, but Joey stops him, saying, he should be flattered. Spinelli’s special talents have been noticed by Joey’s family. They could use a man like him. Spinelli says, with all due respect, he’s not available to be used by Joey’s family. Joey says Spinelli is acting like he has a choice. Let him be clear; Spinelli doesn’t. When the Novak family sees something they want, they take it, and they want him. Britt and Jason walk in, and Jason asks Britt to wait at the bar. He won’t take long. Joey asks how Spinelli is going to play this. Is he going to be smart and volunteer, or do they have to draft him? Jason’s hand comes down on Joey’s shoulder, and he asks if there’s a problem here.   

Jason wants to speak to Joey privately, and says, let’s go. They leave, and Britt sits down with Spinelli and puts a bottle in front of him. She says she took the liberty of ordering him a beer, and he says, gracious thanks. She asks if they ran into him by accident, or did Jason know he’d be there? He says, it’s a most fortuitous coincidence. Fortuitous for him, maybe not so much for his unwelcome companion. She says, who was that guy? and Spinelli tells her, he said his name was Joey Novak. She asks if that’s supposed to mean something to her, and he says, the Novaks are an alleged crime family of some significance. The boss is Vincent Novak, and he believes Joey is his favorite nephew. Britt wonders if that’s what Jason was talking about; he said he had a business problem. Spinelli says, that’s not like him, and she asks what he means. He says, Jason rarely refers to business unless it’s to those directly involved. Britt says, they were fugitives together. It’s a little late for him to be keeping secrets from her.   

Carly tells Diane, she and Jason are considering a strategy that will strengthen their position with the other families. Diane asks her to be more specific. Unless it involves murder. In which case, don’t be specific. Carly says, they need to send a clear message to the competition that Jason is in charge and has her full support. There’s no division in the ranks; no way to split the Corinthos organization in faction. Diane says, it’s a sensible solution in theory, but how do they intend on putting it into practice?

Sam sits with Nikolas and Dante, and asks Nikolas if he’d care to explain what’s going on with him and Ava. He tells her, let’s just say, his marriage has been under a lot of stress lately.

Ava orders another round, but Austin says, none for him. He knows they just met, but maybe it’s time to slow down. She says, what’s the matter Pawtuck? Small town fella can’t take the big city fast lane? He says, that’s not really the problem, when Nikolas joins them, and tells Ava, that’s enough. She says, on the contrary. She’s just getting started.

Finn tells Scotty, he was reluctant to come forward because someone else is involved. Elizabeth suggests he tell Scotty about Chase. Chase was so sick because Peter poisoned him. Scotty asks if that’s true, and Finn says Peter was targeting him as a way to hurt Anna. There was a mix-up, and Chase got poisoned instead. So Scotty can see he has plenty of motive to hurt the guy. Which is why… He looks at a picture of him and Violet on his desk, and Scotty says, why what? Finn says, why the police might want to question him about Peter’s disappearance. He doesn’t want Violet visiting him in Pentenville. Scotty says, if Finn were to bump Peter off, they’d give him the keys to the city. Finn doesn’t have to worry about his kid visiting him in prison. If Mac brings Finn in for questioning, Scotty will be there, ready to spring into action. Finn thanks him, and Scotty says, anything else? Finn says, one more thing. He wants to make certain if something happens to him, Elizabeth will be Violet’s legal guardian. Scotty says he’ll take care of it, and leaves. Finn closes the door, and tells Elizabeth, sorry. He should have asked first. Are you kidding? She’d probably love having a girl in the house.

Valentin tells Anna, there must be something in Marie’s past; a high school, a hometown, a poodle. She says, a poodle? and he says he likes poodles. They’re hypoallergenic. She’s not the only one who does research. She says, good to know, but they’re talking about Marie Hopkins. She has a brother. He says, don’t tell him the brother is dead too, and she says she hopes not, but he is in a high risk profession. He’s a helicopter pilot.

Here’s where they interrupted for – wait for it – Bill Cosby. Are you kidding me? His release was all over the internet all morning, and we needed to interrupt for this? Ugh. Using the internet to move on.

Britt says she thinks she owes Spinelli a thank you, and he says, in what regard? She says, the Canadian passports they used north of the border. They were flawless. When they used them at the hospital, no one even blinked. He says he was unaware Jason needed further medical attention, and she says, he didn’t. They visited a clinic out of an abundance of caution. He says, impressive. He can’t think of many who could convince Jason to go. She must exert significant influence. She says she thinks Jason just wanted to put her mind at rest. She was getting neurotic; hiding out with nothing else to think about. Jason comes back, and Britt says she got him a beer, sliding a bottle over. He thanks her, and Spinelli asks if everything is okay. Jason says, it’s fine. He sent Joey home with a message for his uncle. Britt asks if that’s blood on his hand, and we see his bloody knuckles.

Elizabeth says she’d be happy to look after Violet, but they’ve been careful. She doesn’t see how their secret can get out. He says, Peter is just a few floors below them in a hospital freezer. As long as he’s there, there’s a good chance they’ll find him. Elizabeth asks what he’s saying, and he says, Peter’s got to go.

Valentin reads that Marie’s brother David was a former Black Hawk pilot who served in Iraq, left with an honorable discharge, and flew various charters from Hawaii to Maine before striking out on his own. She says, a helicopter pilot for hire; that’s no coincidence, is it? She picks up her phone, and he asks what she’s doing. She says, notifying the WSB, but he asks if she isn’t worried about alerting Peter. She says he’s right. If Peter is anything like his father, he has eyes and ears all over the agency. Valentin says, the helicopter pilot will end up as dead as his sister. They started this on their own, and he suggests they keep it that way.

Austin says he doesn’t want any trouble, but Ava grabs his arm, and says they’re not done. Although she’s definitely done with her soon-to-be ex-husband. Nikolas says she’s still his wife, and he won’t let her make a fool of herself in public. She says, he’d rather she make a fool of herself in the privacy of their own home. He wants her resigned to the fact that she’s some kind of kept woman. Let her remind him of something – nobody owns Ava Jerome. Sam comes over and suggests they keep their voices down before they all get thrown out. Dante tells the security guy that he’s a cop; he’s got this. He says maybe it’s best if Austin goes, and Austin says he’d love to leave, but Ava’s not letting go. Ava says, if don’t want her business in this establishment, she’ll go someplace else. She tells Austin, come on, and he says, thanks, but no thanks. Nikolas says, Ava doesn’t take another step to self-destruction as long as they’re man and wife. Ava says that’s something she can fix. She takes off her rings, and drops them on the floor.  

Diane tells Carly, from a legal standpoint, it would just be formalizing a preexisting arrangement. She and Jason already have each other’s power of attorney, they’re trustees of each other’s estates, the guardian’s for each other’s children, and co-owner’s of Corinthos Coffee. She can’t see any reason this won’t work. Carly says, she can.

Jason says Joey won’t be bothering Spinelli again, and Spinelli says he’s grateful for the intercede, but it’s not going to stop the Novak family; it might even inflame them. Jason says, it’s been handled, and Spinelli says he believes Jason. Ellie won’t. Jason asks if something happened, and Spinelli says Ellie threatened him with separation unless he distances himself from Jason and Carly. He’s run out of assurances. Jason says he can speak to Ellie, and Britt says, let him try. For a guy who has seemingly zero communications skills, he can be incredibly convincing. Spinelli says Jason has already done everything in his power to insure his safety, and Ellie knows that, but he fears it’s not enough. She wants stability and peace. Frankly, he can’t blame her. If they’ll excuse him, he’s expected at home, where he’ll have to explain how Joey Novak approached him tonight. Britt says Spinelli doesn’t have to tell her, but Spinelli says, yes, he does. Goodnight. He leaves, and Britt says, there goes a man who doesn’t understand the adage, discretion is the better part of valor. You can have honesty in a relationship without blurting out every detail. Jason says he’s sorry, and she says, about? He says he needs to take her home, and she says, business? He says, yes, and she says, okay, no worries. But since she got the beers tonight, next time, he’s definitely buying.

Carly tells Diane, she just lost Sonny. If this goes wrong, and she loses Jason, she loses the way they are to each other, the way they know each other, the way they never fail each other… Diane says, stop. It’s perfectly reasonable to worry about Jason dying; the man takes unconscionable risks on a regular basis. But it’s absurd and self-indulgent to worry about losing him. If he hasn’t turned his back on her by now, he never will. Josslyn and Avery come in, and Avery asks if Diane will read her a bedtime story. Diane says she’d love too. What is Avery in the mood for? Avery says, her book about the stars. She and Josslyn saw the Big Dipper. Diane says, that constellation has another name, Ursa Major, which means big bear in Latin. Avery and Diane go upstairs, and Carly laughs. Josslyn asks if everything is all right, and Carly says, yeah. Diane was going over some legal technicalities with her, and everything she said makes sense.

Elizabeth says she knows what accidentally happened to Peter is weighing on Finn, but thinks it’s best they leave things the way they are. He says, just leave him in the freezer like a rack of lamb, and she says, it’s weighing on her too. She swore to heal like he did, but she’s not going to pretend she’s sorry Peter is gone. Not after what he did to Franco and Chase. And think about Maxie. She prays every day that Maxie gets her baby back, and when she does, the baby will be better off without Peter in her life. Finn says, Elizabeth is involved too, and he can’t let her take the risk, and she says, they started this together; they’re going to finish this together. Let’s go; it’s late. Violet needs her dad to tuck her in. They leave the office, and Scotty is standing outside. He says they think they have him fooled.

Nikolas picks up the rings, and says, Ava lost these. She says she didn’t lose them. She’s done with them. Sam says, that’s kind of cold, isn’t it? and Ava shrugs. Austin says he’s a big fan of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolfe? but he can’t stick around. Ava grabs his arm again, and says she knows plenty of places they can go for a nightcap. Sam says she thinks Ava should call it a night, and Dante agrees. Someone watches from another room. I wonder how many people will get the literary reference.

Anna asks if Valentin hears that, and he says he doesn’t hear a thing. She says, the rain stopped, and he gets up and looks outside. He says, it looks like the storm has blown over, and she says, the weather advisory has been lifted. The roads should be open in an hour or so. He says maybe he should call Brook and asks her to leave a light on… if they’re not spending the night. She says they should probably put out the fire, and he says he’ll do that. Didn’t they just drink the good part of a bottle of whiskey? Have they learned nothing from Alexis? While Anna is putting the laptop away, she sees a photo, and brings it out. He asks what she’s found, and she says, a family photo, she thinks. He asks if it means the mystery is solved, and she says, no, but she thinks it’s the beginning of another one.

Diane comes back down, and tells Carly that Avery is asleep. Carly thanks her for reading to Avery, and Diane says it’s her pleasure. Avery is one of her favorite people. She’s bright, curious, and she misses her dad. Carly wonders if she asked about Sonny, and Diane says she asked if he could visit her from heaven. Diane said he absolutely could. Carly says she told Avery the same thing, but she’s sure it’s reassuring to hear it from Diane too. Diane says she’s glad someone around there respects her opinion, and Carly says she respects Diane’s opinion too. She wouldn’t have asked her over if she didn’t. Diane says, let her reassure Carly that, from a legal standpoint, this is a sound and effective strategy. It makes perfect sense. Whether or not they choose to pursue it is up to her and Jason. She leaves, and Carly sighs, having caught that from Jason.

Anna asks if Valentin recognizes the little boy in the photo, and he says, it looks a little like Austin. She says, it is. Remember she said she had the feeling he was familiar to her? Now that she sees him with his parents in the photo… He asks if she’s saying she knew Austin as a child, and she says, no, but she knew his father.

Austin tells Nikolas that he’s sorry. He didn’t mean to cause trouble between Nikolas and his wife. He’s just there for a quiet drink. Sam says, maybe it would be better if he went back to the woods, and he says he thinks she’s right. Bears and wildcats, he understands them better than he understands people sometimes. Ava calls him a coward, and Sam leads her away. Austin tells Nikolas, if it’s any consolation, he thinks she’s trying a little too hard to forget all about him. He leaves, and Dante asks if Nikolas is okay. Nikolas says, no, but he will be, and we see someone is still watching them. Nikolas says he doesn’t care what Ava says. They’re not done.

Scotty tells Elizabeth, just because he was Franco’s father doesn’t mean he expects her to wear black for the rest of her life. Elizabeth says, oh, no, and Finn says, they’re just friends. Scotty says, it’s none of his business. They all lost a lot this year. If they can find a friend in each other, so be it. He walks off, and they look each other.

Carly finishes her drink, and says, a sound and effective strategy. Right. Jason walks in, and says he’s been thinking. She say,s her too.

Tomorrow, Trina asks Cameron if he and Josslyn are friends again, Ava asks if Nina is thinking about being with Mike, Michael tells Jax that he has to live with the consequences, and Jason tells Britt that what he has to say changes things.

The Real Housewives of New York City

In Eboni’s interview, she said, some of the women are in their Upper East Side bubble, and she wants to show them something different with her Harlem Night dinner. In Sonja’s interview, she said, if she can’t walk, someone has to drag her there, or send a car service. A woman after my own heart. In LuAnn’s interview, she said, the UES wasn’t that far from Harlem, and she used to go dancing and to Sylvia’s (restaurant) with Jack. I waxed nostalgic, thinking of Sylvia’s. Ramona invited new (Black) friend Bershan to come along, and in her interview, Ramona said that New Yorkers stay within their region, which is kinda sorta true. Eboni told us that she was coming off a massive dose of their world, and wanted to show them Black culture and black excellence, so she was hosting A Harlem Night with Eboni K. Williams. She also invited a friend Natalie the party. The venue was B’Harlem, which had been a real speakeasy back in the day. I love anything NYC historical, and old time Harlem is the best. It was downstairs, with the staircase outside, and the women all had a hard time navigating in their heels. Sonja said she might have to spend the night, but it wouldn’t be the first time. No surprise, everyone dressed up, and in Sonja’s interview, she said Eboni usually dressed like a lawyer, and the fact that she took the girls out, meant something. A mixologist who could have moonlighted as a stand-up comic showed them how to mix a few drinks. In Ramona’s interview, she took note of the fact that the Black girls were on one side of the bar, and the white girls on the other. It didn’t make a difference, but since they were doing a cultural infusion (sounds like a cooking class), they should go with that. In Leah’s interview, she wondered how Ramona suddenly turned into the anti-integration police. She was making strides. Ramona took a picture, instructing them how to pose in a way that looked best on Instagram. In her interview, Eboni said maybe Sonja was on to something, and Ramona was all about the Gram.

Everyone sat down for dinner, and Eboni said that her love language was gifts. She gave everyone a candle with a scent that was inspired by something Harlem-ish. They all had names like Savoy, James Baldwin, Speakeasy, and Brownstone. She explained that she’d assigned each of the women an icon from the Harlem Renaissance. My favorite was Natalie’s candle, inspired by W.B. Du Bois, the first Black person to get a PhD from Harvard. He’d said, the pleasure was all Harvard’s. Eboni explained who various figures were and what they’d accomplished, and in her interview, Ramona said she liked learning new things, but she wished they’d been given an agenda. In Leah’s interview, she said Eboni was losing some of her students. Bershan announced they were all the same, but Eboni disagreed. In her interview, she said, these bitches already thought they were all the same. They needed understand their exceptionalness and uniqueness. She felt undermined. Ramona started squawking about being tired, and saying her vertigo was bothering her. Surprisingly, no one knew what that was. A lot of people have it – I have it – and it’s an inner ear thing that can cause you to lose your balance. Ramona did a demonstration, but I wasn’t sure if she was actually suffering from this, or it was just an excuse to bounce. Ramona said it was from stress, and made her exit. Since she bent down to kiss Sonja goodbye, and got up just fine, so I leaned on the side of this being a get-out-of-the-party-free card. It was agreed it was probably best that Ramona left, since they then discussed small weenies, and I don’t mean hot dogs. Eboni said she thought Harlem was a magical part NYC, and a part of black excellence in America.  

Eboni met Leah at the Brooklyn Chop House, which FYI, isn’t in Brooklyn. Eboni asked if Leah thought her Harlem night resonated with everyone, and Leah said she thought it did, but Ramona had a disconnect. Eboni thought LuAnn was quiet, but not everyone could be on all the time. Leah said she thought white people were scared to get it wrong, and in Leah’s interview, she said the women had been walking on eggshells after the Hamptons. They didn’t know how offensive they were sometimes. We flashed back to Ramona and the help thing. Leah is spot-on about them being clueless, but that’s actually one of the things that makes this Housewives show better. When there’s a blow-up, it’s almost always because someone was clueless or being self-centered. With some others in the franchise – I’m talking to you RHOBH – it’s a ploy for screen time. Eboni said that education was her life’s work, and Leah said she didn’t think Eboni was always aware of her power. She was knowledgeable and powerful, and it could be intimidating. In Eboni’s interview, she said she made no apologies for who she was. I’m a a lot, and you bitches are too. Leah said Eboni shouldn’t feel like it was her job, but Eboni said, if not her, then who? In her interview, Leah said she thought Eboni just getting to know the women, and being their friend would teach them. Victoria visited LuAnn, and we found out Victoria has been sober for a year. LuAnn said she’d like to see Sonja reel it in, but Victoria told her to just be an example. In LuAnn’s interview, she said, being present is a gift you give to people, and she and Victoria got a little weepy. LuAnn said she was connecting the dots, and realized her father was a river that ran through her life. She was realizing how it had effected everyone. Victoria said she’d wanted LuAnn to acknowledge the insanity and apologize, and the two of them had a moment.

Leah and Kier met with admissions consultant Whitney to talk about Kier’s applications to private high school. Leah apologized to Whitney for Bunny calling her, and in Leah’s interview, she said her mother was trying to get involved in the decision. She was obsessed with any decisions made about Kier, and Leah thought it was because Bunny believed Kier could be what Leah wasn’t. Leah had gone to an all-girl Catholic school, and Bunny wanted Kier to go, but Bunny was meeting resistance. Leah wanted Kier to have a great high school experience. She didn’t want her daughter to end up in a therapeutic community run by nuns. My sister actually talked my parents out of sending me to an all-girls Catholic school. Thank you, Linda. Whitney said she wanted Kier to own this process, and then had a one-on-one with Leah, which seemed contradictory. Leah wondered how Kier could adjust to the change from public to private school, and didn’t want her in a school with elitists. Whitney said it was a hard balance, and my thoughts went to the short-lived NYC Prep. I loved that show, but man, they were snobby. Leah thought Rob was going to awkward in interviews, and wondered if he had to be there. She was going to tell him that he’d be playing the role of a mute.

Eboni paid a visit to Ramona, who said in her interview that she wanted to get to the meat and potatoes of Eboni. She thought Eboni could be preachy, but liked her. Ramona told Eboni that she was blown away by Eboni’s attention to detail; she took the party to another level. Eboni asked about the election, and how Ramona thought it would be in the city. She was happy that her daughters might see a female VP. Ramona said she didn’t want to talk politics. She just wanted to have a nice evening. In Eboni’s interview, she said she was shocked. She thought they could have a middle ground as women with daughters. In Ramona’s interview, she said she wanted to know more about what she and Eboni had in common. She wanted to peel back the onion. Ramona said Eboni had opened her eyes in the Hamptons. She’d looked up white girl aggression, and we saw a clip of Ramona explaining the term and triggering words to LuAnn. Eboni said they had a divided country, and that they didn’t know who had won yet was indicative of that. Ramona insisted it was all about the mail-in ballots. She said Eboni was preaching and teaching, and she had to walk away for a minute. In her interview, Ramona said that she felt like Eboni was shoving something down her throat, and she was sounding a little preachy. She interacted with Coco, asking the dog why Eboni couldn’t back off. In her interview, Eboni said she was trying to connect and understand Ramona’s values, so they could have a real friendship.

Ramona came back, and toasted to being in a happy place. Eboni said she wanted to be in an authentic place, but Ramona insisted a happy place was where she wanted to be. Eboni said it was her white fragility talking, and Ramona said she didn’t want to talk race, religion, or creed, and Eboni was lecturing. We saw a clip of LuAnn saying, it was like being back in school, and Sonja saying, she thought Eboni should talk about a different subject sometimes. Eboni told Ramona, they were all big girls, and everyone should say how they feel. Ramona said this was too heavy for her right now; she wanted to enjoy life. Eboni said she didn’t have the privilege of being that way. Did Ramona have a coat closet for her Blackness? Ramona said she felt like she was being attacked. She’d wanted to talk about T.J. Walker, the first Black woman millionaire. Eboni corrected Ramona, saying, it was C.J. Walker, and Ramona said, whatever. Eboni said it wasn’t whatever, and Ramona said she felt like she was with a teacher. Well, that may be, but I thought Eboni was saving Ramona from future embarrassment should she share that information. I’d want someone to correct me privately if I got it wrong, but in Ramona’s interview, she said that she was shocked Eboni was picking on her for no reason. Ramona told Eboni that she was leaving. I think what she meant to do was tell Eboni to leave, but she got confused. Eboni told Ramona about Sonja bringing up the pictures Ramona posted –and Eboni reposted – of her new Black friends, and perhaps it was for show. Ramona said Sonja was just jealous and resentful because she gave Eboni some attention. They ended up hugging it out, and Eboni said she wasn’t going to treat Ramona with kid gloves; Ramona was a strong white woman. Ramona said Eboni was a strong Black bitch, and Eboni agreed. In Eboni’s interview, she said, it was a sh*t show, but one they survived. She thought it ended up bringing them closer in a weird way. She said she wasn’t going to let Ramona kick her out, and said it was pretty funny that Ramona was going to leave her own house. She told Ramona she was wondering what to do, since she didn’t even know how to lock up.

Next time, Eboni brings Sonja to her dating coach, a trip to Salem, and Leah says Ramona is what’s wrong in the world.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Sutton took Erika for a ride in her mid-life crisis divorcee car. In Erika’s interview, she said, based on Tom’s last two divorces, he was a fighter to the end. If she got a Bentley, she’d be lucky. Sutton rented a spa for the two of them, so they could be mask-free, and brought along a divorce care package, consisting of Pop chips, some kind of toffee, and Dom Perignon. In her interview, Sutton said she’d been through a divorce, and a divorce could take a long time, especially if it was complicated, and it was a rich people divorce. Friends were crucial to the process. Erika said they had chips, candy, and champagne; what more could she want? She told Sutton one moment she was good, and the next, she was lost. Sutton said they’d been married to powerful men, and Erika said they could be sadistic. Tom wouldn’t be rolling over to give her anything. In her interview, Erika said she knew how mean and overly dismissive was, and we flashed back to Tom snapping at Erika when they were at dinner with Ken and LVP.

Crystal had a session with kickboxing instructor Rashad, and in her interview, she said she started kickboxing to get the baby weight off. She always struggled with body image, and had stopped working out, but discovered a regular routine helped her. This is possibly the only time she and I will agree. I work out almost every day, and I love to incorporate kickboxing into it. Toward the end of Crystal’s workout, daughter Zoey had a meltdown, and in Crystal’s interview, she said she wasn’t an instigator <choke> or a fighter, but she would defend herself when she knew she was right. Her high energy house was sometimes too much.

Erika and Sutton did some cryotherapy, Erika saying she was an ice queen anyway. Afterwards, they hit the sauna, and Sutton asked if Erika was mad that Tom never came to see her in Chicago. Erika said it hurt. She’d gotten there because of his support, so why wasn’t he there for the payoff? In her interview, she said she was the wife he’d supported and funded, and became a lead in a Broadway show, yet he didn’t come. Then she had to defend him. We saw a clip from Watch What Happens Live, when she said he’d planned on coming when covid happened. Erika said her marriage was different from the rest of the women, and that was the hardest part. She told Sutton that she spent four months in NYC, and realized she was literally on own and okay. She thanked Sutton for the spa day, and said Sutton was one of the most kind-hearted people in her life.  

In Garcelle’s interview, she said talk show host was on her bucket list, but she’d never imagined she’d be doing it from home. Sadly, the Kyle goldfish had died, but Garcelle said, for a goldfish, he’d lived a long life – 2020-2020. Once she’d gotten The Real, things had gotten really busy, and housekeeper Glenda was hired when it became too much. You know with a name like Glenda, I would expect her to arrive in a giant pink bubble every day. Garcelle asked the boys how they’d feel if she got married again, and son Jax wondered why she’d want marry someone. In her interview, Garcelle said she sometimes wondered how the divorce had shaped them. She had to be sensitive, but they also needed to see what a happy, healthy relationship was; she wanted to model how it should be.

Erika picked LisaR up in her Range Rover to go Christmas decoration shopping, and LisaR brought Santa hats for the occasion. They talked about various rumors, and Erika said there were headlines that she’d been seen with a couple of guys she hadn’t seen in years. We saw a clip of Garcelle and Erika discussing it, and Garcelle saying that an acquaintance had said she’d seen Tom out with someone who wasn’t Erika. In Erika’s interview, she said it wasn’t the first time she’d heard something like that. If at 81½ he was still out there getting p*ssy, hats off to you, player. I guess I’d feel the same way. He’s no <insert your favorite handsome actor here>. Erika said, you can’t even acknowledge this sh*t, and LisaR told her that the rumors of her daughter being with Scott Disick were true. Amelia had told her that they were just friends, then sent a video of them on the beach. LisaR said, Amelia was 19, and Scott was 37 with three kids. Erika said there was nothing she could do, and LisaR was thinking, maybe it was a phase. She wondered if she should text Kris, but she didn’t want to bring attention to it. They put their Santa hats and masks on, and went into the store. In her interview, Erika said she could have taken a lot of things, but she didn’t. It just brought back memories, and she couldn’t compete with her tiny house. Mind you, she means tiny according to her standards, which is probably big to us regular folks. In LisaR’s interview, she said she’d seen Lois every year at Christmas, and it was hard. Kyle called while they were in the store, and told them that she was inviting everyone over for drinks tomorrow, since they thought there was going to be another shutdown. She suggested sending Scott to Erika’s house, but Erika said she’d be too old for him.

In Kyle’s interview, she said when children were little, you were their favorite person, and they wanted to spend every waking minute with you. Then, they wanted nothing to do with you. You were not cool. It had been hard for Portia when Sofia went to college, since they were each other’s favorite people. She said when they’d left Sofia in D.C., Portia cried the entire way home. Portia was also having a different experience from the others, since she was going to a new school, but hadn’t gone to an actual campus, and she wasn’t meeting other kids. Kyle was worried for her, and had set up a surprise. When the family sat down to dinner, Sofia showed up. She had come directly from her campus, and said she’d tested negative, but was still being careful. So they couldn’t hug, but they touched toes. In her interview, Kyle said they loved each other so much. She hoped they would never lose it.

Everyone got ready for Kyle’s cocktail party, and Crystal said, growing up, she had been a tomboy; she was lucky there were stylists, since she had to go to events with her husband. Sutton put a giant black bow at the neck of her white blouse. Later, on WWHL, Andy would call it a tarantula bow, which was pretty accurate. I wouldn’t wear it, but I support her right to. Sutton always makes interesting fashion choices. She rode with Kyle to the party, and said that Crystal needed to get a sense of humor. The women met at the Huntley Hotel, where they modeled their attire for each other. In Garcelle’s interview, she said, Dorit commits to her brand, head to toe, and Sutton looked like a big old gift. There was an appetizer buffet, and Erika ordered another hot toddy. I wondered if she had a thing for them now. They do sound good, but only if it’s like, thirty degrees Fahrenheit out. LisaR wondered if she needed to call Scott Lord, and Kathy said she had to curtsey, which I assume was a joke? Kyle got loud, saying, he was too damn old, and had three kids. They all gave a hard no to their daughters dating older men, but in Erika’s interview, she said she was the girl dating the older man. In Kathy’s interview, she said from her experience, it could be worse. Dorit walked in during the discussion, and asked if it was mazel tov or no. Kathy thought mazel tov could mean good luck or merry Christmas. Garcelle said her oldest son Oliver had been lost, and then he met Sam, a woman who had an eight, six, and two-year-old. And she became pregnant with Oliver’s child. In her interview, Garcelle said Oliver had been lost for a long time, and we flashed back to a reunion where Garcelle talked about his addiction. She said she did what she could for him, from being supportive to giving tough love, but Oliver had a rough time for a long time. She told the women that Sam had been the best thing that ever happened to him, and all of them were her grandchildren. You couldn’t judge a book by its cover, and LisaR could be the grandmother of three.

In Garcelle’s interview, she said that her dating coach had gotten her on Bumble. She’d had to verify her photo five times because men thought she was catfishing. They sat down to eat, and Erika told the women, when she found out she had to get online to date, she was like, whaaat? She wanted to go over their financials first. Kathy called Sutton Thomasina, as in peeping Tom, and Sutton was not amused. Kyle said she’d explained to Kathy what happened in Tahoe. Crystal said Sutton had violated her, which gave the implication it was sexual. Crystal said she was naked, and felt uncomfortable. In Kyle’s interview, she said, embarrassed, awkward, or rude would have been more appropriate words, not violated. They kicked around definitions, and in Sutton’s interview, she said Kathy walked in on her when she was half-naked on the phone. She thought it was a normal girls trip occurrence, but maybe Crystal didn’t really have girlfriends. Garcelle said violation sounded like something intentional, and that wasn’t the case. In Erika’s interview, she said Sutton was a good Southern girl; thoughtful and generous. A word could get twisted around, making something small become bigger, and getting everyone involved. In Dorit’s interview, she said she thought the issue was insignificant, and they needed to move on. Sutton said she’d thought it was okay to come in, and there was nothing freaky going on. She was getting angry, and Crystal didn’t want her getting angry. I wondered if she turned into the Hulk or something, and she said she wasn’t in a bad place emotionally now. She’d been in a vulnerable in Tahoe, and apologized for it. She wasn’t letting Crystal make it sound like she was a weirdo. Crystal needed to tell everyone that nothing weird happened, and everyone had to agree on it. It was about her reputation. She wasn’t Mr. Poppins. This caused a lively side discussion about who Mr. Poppins might be, and in Garcelle’s interview, she asked if Mary Poppins had a man and she didn’t. Crystal said she didn’t believe Sutton came in to do anything weird, and she’d said that. It suddenly becoming more significant, Dorit said that wasn’t the case, and Crystal’s conversation about it was different than what she was saying now. In her interview, Dorit said when Crystal first talked about it, she made it sound like Sutton had set out to hurt or harm her, or make her uncomfortable. We flashed back to Crystal telling some of the others about it, and saying it was creepy, and Sutton had been shaming her. Dorit said, now Crystal was saying Sutton had no bad intentions, Now it was a different story. Kathy said everyone had been under pressure, and both Sutton and Crystal had a lot going on. Crystal hadn’t been away from her husband and kids. The night before the trip, Kathy had been excited, but scared. Kathy then called Dorit her English girl, and Erika said Dorit was from Connecticut. Dorit said her husband was English, but Kathy waved all that away, saying she’d never heard anything shady about Sutton. It was a game of telephone. Sutton said it was a dangerous game, and in Garcelle’s interview, she said nowadays, with cancel culture going on, it wasn’t the time to be throwing around strong words. Crystal said she wasn’t going to stop being an a-hole backing down on the word. It was done. Sutton said, no, it wasn’t.

Next time, Erika plays tennis badly, Harry Hamlin cooks for the women, and Crystal calls Sutton jealous.

🥂 Tomorrow Is Another Day…

We’ve almost made it to Friday, or the fifth day for those no longer caring. The Shahs are moving to Thursdays starting July 11^th, but in the meantime, it looks like soap and a wild card. As always, stay safe, stay doing you, and stay avoiding perception problems that lead to chaos and violence. It tends to rattle everybody.