What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Mac assures Laura that the island is sealed off and Ryan won’t get away, and Doc says, if Esme is Ryan’s daughter, he sees her as a possession; someone who belongs to him, like an extension of himself. They know he’s obsessed with Ava and will do anything to hold her. Laura says she can’t wait and do nothing while Ryan does his worst. They’ve got to make some kind of move. Esme stumbles through the front door, and collapses in Laura’s arms, sobbing. Jordan tells Esme to put her hands where she can see them, and Laura asks if she’s hurt. Esme says she’s in labor.

On the phone, Portia tells Zeke that she’d appreciate him not saying anything to mommy and daddy just yet. She’d like things to calm down a little bit first… No, she doesn’t want him to come back. She promises she’s fine, and thanks him for not judging her… She loves him too, and she’ll give Trina his love when she sees her. There’s a knock at the door, and she says, that might be Curtis. She hangs up, and answers the door, but it’s Taggert.

Elizabeth thanks Finn for the coffee and the ride home, and he says, it’s quiet without the boys. Does she want company? She says he doesn’t have to stick so close. She knows he’s afraid if she’s alone, she’ll think too much, and maybe turn herself in… tonight.

At the hospital, Austin asks Felicia if there’s any word, but she says, nothing so far. The team is searching the island for Ryan, and Ava’s still out there. He says, she has a gun. He’s a little afraid the cops are going to mistake her for a threat and shoot her. Felicia tells him not to assume the worst. Mac will make sure Ava’s safe.

Trina says she thought Esme’s parents were dead, and Spencer says, her adoptive parents are. Her nanny implied her biological parents were alive, which explains why she was so eager to volunteer at Spring Ridge, and why she was so fascinated with Ryan Chamberlain. Alexis says, she’s known Ryan was her father the whole time, but Spencer says, she couldn’t have known Heather was her mother. One thing he’s sure of is, Esme didn’t fake her desperation to find her mother.

Heather says, the baby is coming, and Jordan says she’s calling for paramedics. Bennett comes back, and says, there have been reports of shots fired on the northwest corner of Spoon Island, and Laura says, Ava and Ryan. Mac says, maybe, and heads out the door. Jordan tells Bennett to take custody of the prisoner. Heather Webber is The Hook, and she needs to know Heather isn’t going anywhere. And call the paramedics. She leaves, and Bennett radios that he needs medical transport dispatched immediately to Spoon Island, the main house; a woman is in labor. Laura asks Doc, what’s happening? as Esme yowls. Doc says he thinks it’s best to focus on the contractions.

Ava says, Ryan’s got one thing right. His life is in her hands. He says, til death do us part, and she repeats, til death do us part. She pulls the trigger, but the gun just clicks. She tries again, and a third time, but nothing. He says, she’s not done with him yet.

Finn says he is worried about Elizabeth. She seemed to be enjoying the wedding, but her toast… She says, he didn’t like it? and he says, it was beautiful, but it sounded wistful. Her celebration of Curtis’s and Portia’s beginning sounded like an ending for her. The doorbell rings, and it’s Scotty. Elizabeth asks what he’s doing here, and he says, they have unfinished business, wouldn’t she say?

Portia is wearing a sweatshirt that says Just Married on the back, and Taggert says, nice sweatshirt. She says, it was a gift from Trina. She gave one to Curtis too, and said they could wear them on the plane to their honeymoon. He says, Trina’s thoughtful that way, and she tells him that he can go ahead and say it. He asks, what? and she says, that Trina is generous, giving, and loving, and she doesn’t deserve Trina. Don’t worry. She feels exactly the same way.

Spencer tells Alexis that when Trina was on trial, he dangled the possibility of finding Esme’s mother in front of her, and she genuinely considered it. She wouldn’t have done that had she known her mother was a few miles away at D’Archam. Trina says, that must have been some bluff, and he says he was doing whatever he could to help her. Alexis wonders what Esme thinks of Heather seeking retribution in her name… Oh, they don’t know. Heather isn’t just Esme’s mother; she’s The Hook killer.

Heather begs Doc to help Esme, and Doc asks if she feels pain here, touching her bump, but she says, it’s more like pressure. Here it comes again. Doc tells Laura, they can’t wait for the paramedics, and Laura asks if Esme can make it to the launch. They have to get her to General Hospital right away. Heather tells Esme, it’s a trap. They’ll take her baby and lock her up. Bennett says, the only one headed for lock-up is Heather, and Laura says, Esme’s health and welfare is her only priority. Doc gets behind Esme, and says, they don’t have time. This baby is coming now.

Felicia says she’s sure they’ll get word any minute that Ava is safe, and Austin asks if she’s always this optimistic. She says she hopes for good outcomes. He had one himself tonight. They’re saying he’s stable and in good condition. He says, someone’s been sneaking around asking the nursing staff questions, and she says she’s glad he’s okay. He was really lucky. He tells her to remind him to get a lottery ticket, and she says, his sense of humor is still intact. He says, thank God, and he’s still got his teeth, so there’s that. She says she thinks he’s got more than that, and he says he’s lucky to have friends like her and Ava. She says, Ava was frantic when she saw he was hurt. She didn’t realize they were so well-acquainted. He says he treated her when she was attacked. Now he knows how she feels. Felicia says, she survived The Hook attack; she’ll survive tonight. He says, she’d better.

Ryan approaches Ava, and says, a little shoulder wound can’t come between them. He forgave her for that knife in the back. She’s passionate, and he understands those carnal impulses. He’s never given up on her. He’s never lost hope, even when she married that imbecile. They’re alike. They belong together. She’ll see. He reaches for her, and she says, get away from me, pushing him back. He growls at her, and is about to rush her, when a shot is fired. He drops to the ground. Ava turns to see Mac behind her.

Scotty says he thought he and Elizabeth would finish their conversation, unless she doesn’t want his help anymore. Finn says, she’s not going to wait until morning? when his phone rings. He says, it’s the hospital, and steps away to take the call. Scotty says he guesses Finn knows about the crimes Elizabeth committed, but she says she doesn’t want him involved. He’s just being a friend. Scotty says, accessory after the fact, and Finn comes back, saying, he has to get to the hospital. There’s been another Hook attack. He asks Elizabeth not to make any rash decisions tonight, and she thanks him for the ride home. He tells her, tomorrow’s a new day; things may look differently. He leaves, and Elizabeth tells Scotty that she’s made her decision.

Keeping the gun on Ryan, Mac goes over to him. Ryan looks up, and says, it had to be you. His head drops back down, and Ava says, she tried to… Mac says he knows, and Jordan arrives. She radios that the suspect is down, and to call for a second unit. She asks if anyone else is hurt, but Mac says he’s fine, and Ava is okay, more or less. Ava says, he woudn’t give up. He was never going to give up. Jordan checks Ryan’s pulse, and says, he’s dead. Mac tells Ava, he’s gone; it’s over. Ava asks if he’s sure, and he says he’s positive. Jordan asks, what happened here? and Ava says she shot him. Mac says, Ava got off a shot; it hit him in the shoulder. Chamberlain kept approaching, and Mac stopped him. Jordan says, sounds justified. She’ll need Ava’s statement later, but first, she wants Ava to get checked out at GH. She doesn’t suppose Mac will go with her, and Mac says, no chance. Other officers join them, and Jordan goes to talk with them. Ava says she needs to tell Jordan… but Mac says, a lot has happened tonight. In the days to come, there’s going to be questions and determinations, but what’s most important is, he’ll take no more victims. Ryan Chamberlain’s reign of terror has come to an end.

Alexis says, it all fits perfectly. Heather orchestrating her transfer to Spring Ridge, and the letter saying she only struck those who wronged me and mine. Trina says, so it wasn’t Esme coming after her. It was her crazy mother avenging her enemies. Alexis says, Spencer and Trina were probably at the top of the list, and Spencer says, Esme finally found her mother. Trina says, they’re having some warped version of a family reunion, and they have Ava with them. Spencer says, and his baby brother or sister.

Laura brings pillows and blankets, and Doc tells Esme that he has to wash up so he can attend to her properly. He leaves, and Esme says, she’s delivering here, now? Laura tells her, it’s going to be okay. Doc will take good care of her. Esme asks if she’s sure, and Laura says, he’s a doctor. Is there something she can do? Esme says she doesn’t want Heather here, but Heather says, she doesn’t mean that. Laura tells Bennett to take the prisoner back to the mainland, and Heather says, the prisoner has a name. Bennett says he’s sorry, but the launch is engaged. They’re waiting for it to return. Laura says, then wait in the other room, and Bennett tells Heather, let’s go. Heather says, a small town politician doesn’t have jurisdiction over the laws of nature. She deserves to be here as much as Laura does. Esme says, she’s the baby’s grandmother, and Heather says, so is she. She’s the baby’s grandmother too. She’s Esme’s mother. Esme cries out, both in pain and frustration.

Taggert says, Portia has never given him much credit. Like when she was trying to hide her affair with Curtis. She says, that’s because when he came back from his undercover assignment, they were trying to work on their marriage. She didn’t want to jeopardize that. He asks if she knows why he was trying so hard. Because he found out. He knew she was unhappy, but didn’t blame it all on her; he knew he was part of it. She says she had no idea he’d be this understanding, and he says, in his heart, he’d already forgiven her for the affair. Does she really think he’d have loved Trina any less if she wasn’t his? She says she was just afraid to test it, and as the years went on, the fear got worse. She was worried it would change the way he and Trina saw each other, and she loved the father he was to Trina. And she was always such a daddy’s girl. How could she take that away from the two of them? He says, she’d never have had to worry about that if she’d told him from the start… but she didn’t.

Ava gets to Pier 55, and Trina hugs her. She says she’s okay, and Trina says she was so worried. She heard Ryan Chamberlain and Heather Webber were at Windymere. Ava says, there’s no danger; Ryan is dead. Spencer asks, what about Esme? and an officer says, sorry, folks. Orders are to get Miss Jerome to GH immediately. Ava leaves with the officer, and Spencer says, if Trina wants to go with them, and make sure Ava’s okay… Trina says, what about him? She knows he’s worried about Esme and the baby. He says he’ll call if he hears anything, but she says she can’t just leave him. Alexis says, he’ll be fine; she’ll look out for him. Spencer says, go, and Trina asks him to promise if he needs anything… He says he’ll call, and Trina leaves. Alexis says, it’s nice to see that he and Trina have a friendship again.

Austin says, of all the nights to be on Spoon Island, and Felicia says, ironically, she was there about Ryan. Why was he? He says he told her; he treated Ava. She says, last year. A little late to do a follow-up house call. He flashes back to Ava telling him, they have to move Nikolas before Elizabeth’s guilty conscience sends the cops to Spoon Island, and he tells Felicia, the island must be crawling with cops. She says, that’s a good thing, right? The more, the better. Finn comes in, and says he understands Austin had a run-in with The Hook killer. Austin says he sure did, but he’s here to tell the tale, so he’s guessing no poison was involved. Finn says, his bloodwork confirmed it. He’s just here to take Austin’s vitals. Felicia says she’ll step out, and Austin thanks her for looking out for him. She says she’s glad he’s okay.

Ryan’s body bag is zipped up, and Jordan says, this town has had a long history with Ryan; he posed a clear and constant threat. Mac says he knows he should be breathing easy, but all he feels is a knot in his chest, and she says, to take a man’s life, even someone like Chamberlain, is a hard thing for a police officer, especially a good one like him. He says he did what he had to do, and she says she has to admit, what bothers her most is the mountain of paperwork waiting. Mac says he’ll do the paperwork. Chamberlain made Felicia’s life hell. He would have killed her tonight; Felicia and Ava both. Jordan says, it’s a big win for the community. She’s sure Heather will never see the light of day again, but there’s still Esme Prince, and what role, if any, she played in what went down tonight. He says, and whether she’ll spend the night in a cell, or a maternity ward.

Heather says, she and Esme have been reunited. They’ll never be parted again. Laura says, this isn’t the time for this, but Esme asks if it’s true. Is this woman really her mother? Laura says, evidence suggests that Heather Webber gave birth to her, and Heather says she’d do anything for Esme. Esme says, like commit mass murder? and Heather says she did all of it for Esme. Can’t she see? It was to protect her. Don’t let these rich, small-minded people get into her head. Esme says, Heather isn’t going to see this baby today or any day. Get out! Heather says, Esme doesn’t mean that. She’s Esme’s mother. Bennett pulls her away, and she says she’ll always be Esme’s mother. She’d give up her life for her. Esme will always be hers. Esme cries in Laura’s arms.

On the floor now, Doc tells Esme that she’s doing great, and Laura tells her to breathe. A paramedic comes in, and asks, how far along? and Doc says, second stage; the cervix is dilated and the contractions are regular. Esme says she can’t, but Laura says, it’s okay. So many mothers feel that way. She gets behind Esme, and tells Esme to lean against her. Doc says, here we go. Deep breath and push. Bear down.

Taggert says, if Portia had told him in the beginning that Trina might not be his daughter, he would have been mad, he would have been angry, he would have been screaming and yelling. But he would have stopped long enough to hear what she had to say. She asks why he’s not screaming and yelling. He has every right to. He says, because he’d like to think he’s grown in that time, that he can put himself in her shoes; that he could understand what she did and why she did it. But understanding doesn’t make it hurt any less. Damn it! He wishes she would have given him the chance to show her that his bond with Trina is more than DNA. That Trina was his daughter in every way that counts because Portia was dishonest? Trina is now questioning that. Portia says, that’s what she was trying to avoid, but she just made it worse. Tell her, how is Trina doing? He says, she’s in pain; she’s confused. Portia asks if she wants to know who her real father is; whether it’s him or Curtis. He says, it didn’t come up and he didn’t want to push it, but let’s get one thing perfectly clear. He is Trina’s dad. Point blank. Period.

Finn asks, what happened tonight? but Austin says, he’s not really sure. The cops will sort it out. He was unconscious for most of the time. It’s not over, and he’s really worried about a friend. Finn says he knows the feeling.

Felicia asks the reception nurse if there’s a phone she could use, when Trina and Ava walk in. She tells the nurse, never mind, and goes over to them. Ava asks, how’s Austin? and Felicia says, he’s doing okay. They ruled out the poison, and the wound isn’t what they feared. How is Ava? Ava says she’s fine physically, but Jordan and Mac wanted her to get checked out. Felicia asks if Ryan got away, and Ava says, he was coming at her, and it was Mac who stopped him. Ryan is dead. Felicia says, thank God, and they hug.

Elizabeth asks Scotty if she should be nervous. He’s never speechless. He says, let him understand. She and Nikolas held Esme captive without medical attention. She says, that’s where she came in. She gave the medical attention. He says, and obstruction of justice; a police investigation was going on about Esme. She says she knows it was bad, but when he says it like that, it sounds worse. Can he broker some sort of deal for her? He says he needs to know if she’s lost her mind.

On the phone, Alexis says, Ryan Chamberlain is dead, and Esme Prince’s whereabouts are still unknown. She’ll give them details later. She wonders if Laura will tell her anything more about Esme, and Spencer says, grandmother is on the island? Alexis says, she and Doc headed over there. Don’t worry. Mac and Jordan aren’t going to let anything happen to them. He says he thinks Alexis would be doing everyone better if she wasn’t here with him. He’ll tell her if he hears anything. She leaves, and he starts to write a text, when he hears Heather saying, no. Her daughter needs her; she’s in labor. Spencer says, Esme’s in labor? and Heather tells Jordan, she needs her mother. They’ll be hearing from her lawyer. Bennett drags her away, and when they pass Spencer, Heather says, you were next. Jordan says, get her to the station, and Heather is hauled away. Spencer says, Esme is having the baby right now? and Jordan says, last she heard. He says he realizes Windymere is a crime scene, but he needs to be on that island immediately.

Esme says she’s sorry, and Laura says, of course (🍷) she is. She’s been through so much, but she’s safe and supported. Doc says, and she’s almost there. One more push should do it. Esme says she needs a few minutes, but Doc says, the baby needs to come now. Laura says, it’s time. She can do this. Summon all the strength she can, and give the baby one big push. When she’s ready, take a deep breath. Esme pushes, and Laura says, she can do it. We hear a baby cry. That was fast. I think it came out crying. Although after the day it’s had…

Portia says, of course (🍷) Taggert is Trina’s dad. He raised that girl. He’s always been there for her. He says, not always. He let her think he was dead. He let her know later that he was protecting her, but the deception hurt her. Everyone makes mistakes. They both screwed up, thinking they were doing the right thing at the right time. She says, Trina’s the most important thing to both of them, and he says, she’s got that right. She didn’t want to have anything to do with him, but Portia just kept stripping away at her defenses, encouraging her to hear him out. Portia was a big reason Trina gave him another chance and forgave him. He’s never going to forget that. She tells him, like she said, he’s good father, and he says, she’s a good mother, who made a terrible mistake. He can’t guarantee things will be different, but he, Portia, and Trina are a family, and nothing or no one is going to change that.

Trina brings a clipboard to Ava, saying, the nurse told her that it shouldn’t be too much longer. Ava just has to fill this out, and put down an emergency contact. She asks if Ava is okay, and Ava says she’s just thinking about the events of the day. Trina says, don’t feel guilty if she’s glad Ryan’s dead. He and his daughter made Ava’s life a living hell. Ava flashes back to telling Ryan that he’ll keep taking unless someone stops him. She says, Ryan left an awful lot of carnage in his wake, and Trina says she knows Ava’s divorce has been rough, but if Ava wants, she’ll try to find Nikolas. Ava says, thanks, but there’s nothing Nikolas can do for her anymore.

Laura tells the paramedic that Esme will be in police custody while in the hospital, but she will not be separated from her child. Spencer walks in, and asks if Laura is okay. She says she is, and tells him that he has a new little brother. He sees Esme, holding the baby and smiling.

Mac finds Doc outside, and asks if everything is okay here. Doc says, mother and baby are doing just fine. How’s his team? Mac says, safe and accounted for, and Doc says, and Ryan? Mac says, come with him, but Doc says, just tell him. Mac says he had no choice, and Doc says, Ryan’s dead. Mac says, it could have been Felicia. It could have been Ava, or anyone. Ryan wouldn’t have stopped. Doc puts his hand on Mac’s shoulder, and says, show him.

Portia says, Taggert is right about one thing; she does underestimate him. She thanks him for coming here and being so generous with her. He says he doesn’t like what she did, but they share a child. She says, they always will, and he says, if she’s worried about Trina, he can always find her. She says, good. They’re daughter needs him, especially now. He says, their daughter is unbelievably forgiving, and she says she wishes she shared his hope. Their daughter is also strong-willed, and she’s been putting up boundaries and setting limits. He says, that’s a good thing, isn’t it? but she says, what if this is all too much to forgive? She starts to cry, and says, he didn’t see the way Trina was when confronting her, and the things Trina said to her. She’s worried she might have lost Trina forever.

Trina asks if Ava wants anything from the cafeteria, but Ava says she’s fine. It’s late; Trina should get home… What’s the matter? Trina says, the long day just caught up, and it occurred to her, The Hook has been caught. For the first time in a long time, she doesn’t have to worry about who’s hiding in the shadows. Seems like today, everything just came to light. Ava hugs her.

Alexis sees Finn, and asks how Austin is. He says he has to write an order for his patient… who will recover. He keeps walking, and Alexis says, and he walks away from her, which usually means he’s troubled about something. She’s assuming it’s about that friend who could be an accessory to a felony. He says he’s still concerned, and he thinks his friend made a decision. She says, and he’s worried that decision is going to ruin his friend’s life? but he says, at this point, it’s out of his hands.

Scotty says he can’t believe Elizabeth let Nikolas talk her into that cockamamie plan. Where’s he now? He’s off somewhere, and left her holding the bag? She says, if he can’t help her, she understands, but she can’t live with this guilt, thinking of the damage to the boys. He says, she’s got to be there for the boys, and she says she knows. The only stability they have in their lives is Cameron, and he’s too young to shoulder this responsibility. He asks how going to prison is going to help them, and she says, that’s what she was hoping he could prevent. He says, no problem. Walk in the park for him. She says she knows it’s a lot, but he’s practically the boys’ grandfather, and the closest thing she has to a dad. He says he’ll do everything in his power to get her out of this mess, and she says, that’s good enough for her.

Mac takes Doc to Ryan’s body, and Doc kneels down beside it. He says, I knew it. I could feel it. It’s real this time. He unzips the top of the bag, revealing Ryan’s face. Felicia runs to Mac, and hugs him. Mac says he’s fine, and she’s safe now. She asks if Ryan is really gone, and Mac steps aside. She goes over to the body, and kneels down beside Doc, putting her arm around him. He says, at least it’s the end of a long nightmare for her, and she cries, saying, but he was still Doc’s brother. Doc says, I hope you can find the peace you could never find in this life… brother.

Spencer walks over to Esme and she says, he’s beautiful, isn’t he? He says, he looks like a Cassadine, and she says, Nikolas told her the truth. Spencer’s not the father of the baby; Nikolas is. Spencer says he just thought since they used to be… She says, the person she used to be sounds pretty messy; no wonder she didn’t know who the father was. She’s not that person anymore; she promises him. She loves his little brother, and would do anything for him. Laura says she’ll come and check in on Esme when she’s settled in at the hospital, and Esme thanks her. As she’s being wheeled out, Esme asks if Spencer can tell his father about the baby. She doesn’t know how to reach him. He says, that makes two of us, and Laura gives him a long look.

Ava tells the nurse that she needs to talk to Austin, but the nurse says, he needs his rest, closes the door, and draws the blind.

Tomorrow, Drew says someone has no one else to blame but themselves; Nina can’t believe someone would be okay with that; and Sonny wonders if Brook can help him.

Vanderpump Rules

I’m fully aware that this show is somewhat boring, but I live for glimpses of her VanderHighness, the menagerie, Puffy (!), and the glory that is Villa Rosa. Again I say, bring back Overserved.

Raquel took Graham to the emergency vet, and it turned out to be an infected puncture wound on his neck. I don’t know about Graham, but if one of my dogs doesn’t eat, there’s definitely something wrong. Lisa approached Raquel about dating Peter, and Raquel asked if Lisa was telling her that she couldn’t make out with Peter in front of customers anymore. She actually had Lisa going for a moment, and I was surprised Raquel has a sense of humor. Lisa said Raquel had lost a bit of direction since breaking off the engagement, and we flashed back to Raquel giving James the ring back at the Reunion. Raquel said she was hurt that James had found someone to replace her so easily, and admitted she still loved him. Ariana and Katie looked at a potential space for their sandwich shop, and in Ariana’s interview, she said, the main thing she learned from the Toms’ experience was, don’t jump in. Have everything laid out and prepared ahead of time. That, and don’t use your own money. She thanked the guys for being guinea pigs.

Scheana went to Schwartz’s new apartment for her podcast, and started with the getting old game of Marry-F***-Kill, using Lisa, Lala, and Raquel. Schwartz said he’d marry Raquel, bang Lisa (but of course), and would have killed Lala before last night. Since she sent him a sweet text about the Daily Mail party, now he was struggling. Scheana asked if he thought Schwartz & Sandy’s ultimately led to divorce, and although he thought it was too soon to address, he couldn’t blame the bar. She said, there were rumors that he’d made out with Raquel at Coachella, but it turned out he hadn’t even been there. She asked if he could make the rumor true, and he said, maybe after a couple of tequila shots. Ugh. This show is almost painful to watch.

James and Ally went for lunch at SUR, and Lisa asked about Graham. James said he hadn’t known Graham wasn’t well, and Lisa said she was keeping out of it. Then she warned Raquel, saying, she thought James knew. In James’s interview, he said he missed Graham more than Raquel, and I totally understand. The worst part of a break-up is breaking up with the ex’s family, friends, and pet. And sometimes, their apartment. James confronted Raquel, who said she hadn’t wanted to worry him. He asked how Graham got the neck wound, and she said when she’d boarded him, he escaped, digging a hole under a fence. No doubt the fence had poked him. James started crying because when does he not? Not that I blame him in this instance, but just pointing out it’s a pattern. Raquel said, Graham was fine, but James wanted to see for himself. Raquel said she’d think about it, and in his interview, James said, she didn’t have the decency to call or throw him a text, and it was f***ed up.

The Toms met with Schwartz & Sandy’s general manager Brett. Schwartz was worried about the opening, and Sandoval said, they’d have to move mountains. In Sandoval’s interview, he said, because of the optics, people thought the bar was open. Now there was pressure to live up to the hype. They still had to finalize the food and the cocktails, and back of the house staffing was hard to find. Proving his point, some people wandered in, wondering if they were open.

Katie, Raquel, and Lala went out for girls night, and in Lala’s interview, she said she and Katie were both on new paths. There was something sweet and inspiring about leaving everything you were used to behind, and not knowing what the future held, but knowing you’d be okay. They toasted to the single life and dodging bullets. In her interview, Lala said that Raquel had seemed vacant when she’d been with James, but she seemed to have come into her own. Pointing to her head, she said she was seeing things happening up here. Katie said Schwarz had done Scheana’s podcast, and Scheana was pushing him to date Raquel. Raquel confirmed that Scheana kept saying she and Schwartz should make out, but even though she liked Schwartz a lot, she’d never date him seriously. What was that Lala said about vapid? In Katie’s interview, she said, Scheana was one of her bridesmaids, and she had supported Scheana through her divorce. Scheana would have been living if Katie had hooked Shay up with one of her girlfriends. Lala said, this is where she was stepping in to defend her friend. She got all kinds of messy, but wouldn’t do that sh*t. She said, Katie’s feelings would be hurt, and told Katie not to pretend they woudn’t be. Katie said she wasn’t ready to see that or be there yet. Raquel tried to deflect, saying, she’d been loyal to James, but now she was hearing about him having been with other girls when they were together. Lala said, while they were on the subject, she’d hooked up with James when he and Raquel had been together. It was when their relationship was new, as well as hers with Randall. In Raquel’s interview, she said, Lala was judging her for hypothetically making out with Schwartz, yet she’d slept with James when he and Raquel were together. She was an effing hypocrite. Lala said, she and James had both been drinking then, and Raquel said she cared more about James falling in love with Ally a month after they broke up.

Sandoval’s band, Tom Sandoval and the Most Extras, had a show coming up, and we saw a bit of rehearsal. I thought it was more like Tom Sandoval and the Most Adequate. In James’s interview, he said he thought it was Sandoval’s way of spending money and having fun, but he should work on opening the bar. James talked about meeting Ally being the most magical night of his life, and a bunch of bullsh*t I didn’t listen to. Scheana suggested Raquel do a Hot Girl Walk (see below), which is a silly name for what are basically positive affirmations while walking. She told Raquel that she and Brock were pre-gaming at Schwartz’s before Sandoval’s show, and invited Raquel to join them. Raquel said Katie didn’t like that Scheana was pushing Schwartz on her, but Scheana said she’d been in Vegas with Katie when the rumors had been going around, and Katie said she’d embrace it. Raquel was like, no, Katie said it wouldn’t be okay, and in Scheana’s interview, she said her friendship with Katie was a roller coaster where they struggled to find the good in each other. She was over apologizing for things she wasn’t sorry for. When you’re divorced, you move on and deal with it. Raquel told Scheana about Lala hooking up with James, and Scheana looked all kinds of shocked.

Lala wanted to get together with Tai, who she’d met at the TomTom party. She thought he was good for dipping her toe back into the pond, but she hadn’t wanted to go alone. She asked Logan to find a dude for Katie, and they met with Tai and Mel, who said people called him Melrose. After they had lunch, Lala invited Katie to the bathroom with her, and said she felt the need to abort the mission. In Lala’s interview, she said she wasn’t connecting with Tai. He needed to date a 23 year old, not a 31 year old mother. To prove her point, even though she’d told them she was sober twice, they asked if the girls were going out drinking tonight. James met Raquel at a park to have a visit with Graham, and in his interview, James said, Graham remembered him (of course he did; he’s a dog), and we saw a puppy picture of Graham that made me squee. Raquel questioned James about hooking up with Lala, and he said they were both drunk – alcohol was to blame – and Lala wouldn’t let him leave the room, taking absolutely on accountability. He then questioned Raquel about Peter, but she said he was deflecting. He’d made her feel like she had nothing to worry about with Lala. James said it was a good thing they didn’t get married. Why Raquel still cares is beyond me.

Katie listened to Scheana’s podcast, where Scheana said she’d be Schwartz’s cheerleader, wingwoman, and best friend. Lala called Katie, and Katie said Scheana was an evil little troll, bringing Schwartz on her podcase when he was in a vulnerable state, and coercing him to say sh*t. Karma was going to come, and she’d watch while Scheana’s world burned and smile. Wow. Ariana told Sandoval, the pre-gaming sounded like a double-date, and in Schwartz’s interview, he said, Raquel was drop dead gorgeous, funny, and cool, but he and Katie weren’t hooking up with each other’s friends. Scheana told Schwartz that Katie had been getting laid, and in Schwarz’s interview, he said, it stung a little. Raquel thought Katie was overreacting, and Brock wondered when Schwartz was going to grow balls. Scheana asked why Schwartz couldn’t flirt, but Katie could f***.

Schwarz said, make outs are like pizza; even sh*tty ones are good. Um… no. Everyone got ready to see Sandoval’s band, and in Katie’s interview, she said she was ready to drag a ho. At the bar, she acknowledged everyone but Scheana, who insisted she’d just invited Raquel so she didn’t have to come alone. Katie said she heard about Scheana’s plan, and Scheana said, Katie seemed to think it was okay when they were in Vegas. Katie said she didn’t mean it, and Scheana asked how she was supposed to know that. While she has a point there, apparently, she has zero insight and empathy. Katie said it was disrespectful, none of Scheana’s business, and there was no room for Scheana in this. She called Scheana a little troll, and in Scheana’s interview, she said, Katie was mad at herself and Schwartz, and the problem had nothing to do with her. Get back under your bridge, bitch. Ugh. More awful people. Bravo is rife with them. Katie said she was done with Scheana.

In James’s interview, he said Scheana had Raquel on her podcast two weeks after they broke up to get her while it was fresh. She’d tried to get him on the podcast and talk about it, but that was a no. Ariana said Scheana got left holding the bag, while Schwartz was the nice guy, and in her interview, Ariana said it pissed her off how people were always mad at the other person, and not Schwartz. Katie told Schwartz that Scheana was a snake, and she was done with her. I swear, Schwartz was literally ducking as Katie talked, and I’m with Brock. I don’t think he should go out with Raquel, but he needs to grow a pair. Schwartz said Katie was quick to undermine his friendships, but she said he wasn’t losing anything with Scheana. James called Scheana pumpkin pie – sweet on the outside, but it goes bad quickly, and the whipped cream on it just hides the truth. Did he make that up? Ally didn’t seem to happy with any of it.

To be continued…

👠 Hot Walking…

Again, stupidest thing ever. Not that it’s a bad thing to pump yourself up, but it’s not that deep.

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/hot-girl-walk-can-this-tiktok-trend-really-boost-your-mood-and-fitness

🍦 Bringing My Milkshake Back In the House…

Join me tomorrow for soap and some mismatched cups of tea. Until then, stay safe, stay not hiding your light under a bushel basket, and stay making sure Ryan is dead. I still don’t trust it.