What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Curtis apologizes to Trina for showing up unannounced, but he hasn’t seen her since the reception. She asks why he would; there’s nothing to say. He says he doesn’t think so. It’s not every day he finds out he might be a father, and it’s not every day she finds out she might have a father she never knew.

Jordan gives Dante a signed warrant that gives the PCPD the right to search every inch of Spoon Island. Dante says, if Nikolas is there, they’re going to find him, and Jordan says, and with Elizabeth’s testimony, he’ll be going away to prison for a very long time.

Scotty asks why Elizabeth isn’t smiling. They got a really good deal. She asks, what’s going to happen to Nikolas? and Scotty says, he’ll be charged with a boatload of crimes. She says, because she incriminated him, and Scotty asks if she’d rather Nikolas incriminate her. All she did was tell the truth. Nikolas sucked her in to this whole Esme thing; he thought she was the killer. When he found out she wasn’t, they were in over their heads, and he got the DA to make the deal for immunity. She didn’t know Esme was the killer for a long time. She says, tell that to the woman he loves – Britt’s mom.

At the hospital, Obrecht tells Finn that she can’t imagine what’s keeping Scotty. He looks away, and she asks what he knows that she doesn’t.

On the phone, Nina says, her daughter needs a bone marrow transplant, and all people have to do to help is register to be a donor. With Crimson’s demographics, they can reach under 35 year olds, people with more stem cells to offer. They need to launch an appeal. Every second counts.

Willow films herself, and says, by the time Michael sees this, their wedding will be just a memory. She hopes he doesn’t just remember the tears, but the flowers, the music, and the dancing. She hopes the photographer takes lots of pictures, and a video that he can show to Amelia when she’s old enough to understand how very much Willow loved her daddy. Michael comes downstairs, and asks what she’s doing.

Austin and Ava go into Windymere, and Austin says, it’s a little weird. She says, which part? and he says, the part where Heather sticks him with a hook and he falls to the floor, and there was this moment where he thought about all the things he didn’t get to do in his life. She says she’s glad she was able to stop the bleeding, and he says, him too. And he was glad she got to go after Ryan Chamberlain. She says, Mac fired the fatal shot. It’s ironic. If she’d killed Ryan, it would have been self-defense. Meanwhile, she has no defense at all for killing Nikolas. He says, it’s possible at this point, Elizabeth has given the cops a full statement, and she says, the cops are going to be here soon, looking for evidence to corroborate her story. He says, they’re going to be looking for corroborative evidence in the north tower, but she says, they’re going to be looking for Nikolas, which puts the whole island at play. He knows what they have to do.

Trina invites Curtis in, and he says, they have a lot to talk about, but she says, not really. Her mom lied to all of them. He says he’s not here to talk about her mom. He’s here to talk about them, and where they go from here.

Willow says she was just thinking about their wedding, and asks if Michael is getting cold feet, but he says, never. He wants it to be everything she ever dreamed of, and she says, as long as he’s beside her when they say I do, it will be. Wiley comes down, and says he was going to kiss his baby sister, but she spit up on him. Willow says, babies will do that, but she’s counting on him to look out for his baby sister; big brothers are important. Michael says, it’s time for Wiley to go to his playroom, and Wiley says he almost forgot. He found something. The half-heart necklace dangles from his hand.

Nina asks, what’s going on? and Obrecht says, that’s what she’s trying to find out. It seems Dr. Finn is keeping secrets. Nina says, about what? and Finn says, it’s hardly a secret. Scotty’s not here because he’s with a client. Obrecht says, of course (🍷). Scotty said something about helping Elizabeth with a legal matter. Nina wonders if Elizabeth is in trouble, but Obrecht says, it’s probably something mundane, like a parking ticket, while that maniac Heather Webber gets away with murder. Finn says, not exactly; she’s been returned to D’Archam. Obrecht says, to live out her days in a padded cell, when the police wasted precious time looking for Esme, and Heather was the killer all along. Finn says, a lot of people thought Esme was the killer. No one could have known otherwise. Obrecht says, someone must have known the killer wasn’t Esme and looked the other way, and because of them, her Britta is no more.

Elizabeth doesn’t know how she’ll ever face Obrecht again, and Scotty says, she’ll be very upset, but if he can convince the DA’s office, he can reason with Liesl. She wonders how you reason with someone who’s lost a child, and he says, when Peter August killed Franco, that’s a different story. What she and Nikolas did with Esme… that’s different. Elizabeth wonders why she didn’t come forward sooner, and he says, because she truly believed Esme was The Hook killer. It wasn’t until that rookie cop was killed that she knew it was someone else. She asks if he really thinks that will make a difference to Obrecht.

Dante tells Jordan, the search team is assembled, and the Coast Guard is going to take them to Spoon Island. Jordan says she’s going to GH to talk to Austin. She’s curious what he was doing at Windymere when all hell broke loose. He asks if she thinks Austin knows something about Nikolas, and she says, it’s worth a shot. He tells her, good luck with that, she says, back atcha, and leaves. Dante takes his gun out of his desk.

Trina says she has an exam to prep for, and her slide show for the post-Impressionist report on Friday, and Curtis says he gets it. When the whole world blows up, it’s nice to have work to focus on. (Agreed.) The other night, when he and her mother were going through it, he went straight to The Savoy, the one place he knew he was on solid ground and there was an endless supply of liquor. She asks if it helped, but he says, not exactly. All he wanted was a glass and a bottle to drown his woes, but fortunately N’neka knew it was a bad sign, and called his father. Marshall beelined it down to The Savoy, and gave him hell. Marshall reminded him booze is never the answer. Trina asks, what happened then? and he says, they talked about what he wanted to forget. He let Marshall know that Portia lied to them for twenty years, but he’s here to talk about him and Trina, and where they go from here.

At the hospital, Jordan walks out of the elevator and down the hall, and comes face-to-face with Portia.

Wiley asks if he did something wrong, but Willow says, not at all. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Sasha, who says she came to offer her help, and Michael takes Wiley upstairs to check on his sister. Sasha asks what she can do, and Willow says, she can start by getting rid of this necklace.

Nina suggests they go somewhere private, but Obrecht says, all she wants is the key to Heather’s padded cell. That, and five minutes alone with whoever hid Esme all that time. Finn asks what makes her think someone was hiding her, and she says, Esme was pregnant. She doesn’t think Esme is resourceful enough to manage on her own. Someone must have helped her. Nina suggests they go sit down, and leads Obrecht away. Finn calls Scotty, and asks if it’s over. How’s Elizabeth? Scotty and Elizabeth walk in, and Scotty tells him to turn around and see for himself. He did well. Finn is looking at an innocent woman. Elizabeth says, not guilty, but that doesn’t make her innocent.

Austin says, Ava does have options. She’s a wealthy woman. She could go anywhere in the world, and no one would ever find her. She says, if she were to run now, she’d have to run without her child. Ryan Chamberlain has already taken one daughter from her. She’ll die before she loses another. He says, it would probably make him really sad if she was dead, so whatever she’s got going on, count him in. She says, Nikolas is dead because of her. She won’t fault Austin if he goes back to GH, and forgets he was ever here. There’s a knock at the door (because this humongous house doesn’t have a doorbell), and Dante says, it’s the PCPD. Ava looks at Austin.

Curtis says he was a witness to the horrible year Trina had last year. Being accused of a crime she didn’t commit and it’s subsequent trial. Rory’s death, and the fear of knowing The Hook killer was targeting people she’s close to. But through it all, she had her family – her mom and her dad. Right now, it probably feels like her family is up for grabs. She’d only be human to resent his presence in her life. She says she doesn’t resent him. He’s always been wonderful to her. He might have been a little pushy at times, but that’s before they established boundaries. He says, those boundaries have a really big hole in them right now, and it’s only going to get wider until they answer one big question once and for all. She asks if he’s saying they need to see what their DNA says about them.

Portia says, if Jordan is there to see Austin, she just missed him. He checked himself out. Jordan asks if she approved that, but Portia says, absolutely not, but he’s a doctor, and they say we make the worst patients. Jordan says, since she’s here, she’ll pay a visit to Esme and see if giving birth jogged her memory. Portia asks if Esme can wait, and Jordan says, sure. Why? Portia says, Austin’s room is empty and they can talk in there without being disturbed. She thinks they need to have a conversation.

Sasha tells Willow, just to make it clear, she didn’t come here to lobby for Nina. She’s on Willow’s and Michael’s side because she understands two things can be true at the same time. (They love that one, so… 🍷) Nina’s been very good to her, but she’s aware that hasn’t been the case for everyone. Willow thanks her for understanding. So many people think they need to choose sides, and it’s just not necessary. She doesn’t want to waste the time she has thinking about Nina. She and Michael want to make this wedding as joyful and perfect for everyone, and she’s going to need all the help she can get. Sasha says, she’s got it, but she needs Willow to stop talking about the time she has left. Miracles can still happen. Willow says she’s not being a pessimist, just realistic. She’s run out of options. Sasha says, it’s so unfair. Willow has so much to live for, and so many people who need her. Willow tells her, nobody said life was fair; Sasha knows that better than anyone. Sasha says she went to visit Heather Webber at the PCPD, and Willow says, no, but Sasha says, it’s a good thing. She’s glad she did it. She got to put a face to Brando’s murderer, and it gave her a chance to release all the pent-up anger she’s been keeping it check. It also made her realize, when Liam died, she thought there could be nothing worse than death, but she was wrong. She loved Liam and loved Brando, and she loves Willow. She realized if someone goes through life without experiencing love and never having anything to lose, that would be the worst thing that could happen.

Nina says she understands Obrecht’s pain; she misses Britt too. But even if Obrecht could prove someone knew Esme wasn’t the killer, it’s not going to bring Britt back. Obrecht says, no, but it would give her great pleasure to give that person pain. She asks if her honesty upsets Nina, and Nina says, no; she’s used to it. Crimson is going to do a campaign for stem cell donors. She’s not fooling herself. She understands it might be too late, but if they can save other lives… Obrecht says, it might not be too late. She knows a possible donor. Nina says, who?

Finn says, Liesl was asking about Scotty. She’s here. Scotty thanks him for the heads up, and tells Elizabeth, if she needs anything, call him. He leaves to look for Obrecht, and Finn asks if Elizabeth is okay. She asks if he means, can she live with herself after throwing a lifelong friend under the bus, but Finn says he doesn’t know what kind of friend Nikolas is. He ran off and left her holding the ball. She says she may not be guilty of holding Esme hostage, but she fully enabled Nikolas. Finn says, but she took responsibility. What would Nik have done to Esme and the baby if she’d just walked away?

Ava hands the warrant back to Dante, and says, everything seems to be in order. He sends some officers to comb the main house, and others to comb the outlying buildings. Ava asks if this is really necessary. Heather’s in custody, and Ryan’s in the morgue. He says, it has nothing to do with what happened here last night. They got testimony that Esme Prince was being held here against her will after Ava moved out. So they can’t go anywhere until the find some proof, or at least a clue where Nikolas is hiding.

Trina says, she and Curtis will have to agree to disagree. She doesn’t need a DNA test. She already knows all she needs to know about her family; the good and the bad. He says he knows how she feels. When Marshall came back into his life, he shut the door in Marshall’s face. After 40 years, the last thing he needed was some dude coming into his life claiming to be his father. All those years without him, Curtis learned to be strong, almost unbreakable. Then he realized, who was he kidding? A piece of him was missing. He didn’t even realize it until he looked Marshall in the face and saw a part of him looking back. Trina says she’s glad for him and Marshall, but it’s not the same thing for her. He grew up without a dad; she grew up with a dad. A dad who was always there for her. He says he understands all of that. He bets she thinks even asking the question of asking who her biological father is, is betraying Taggert.

Portia tells Jordan, this isn’t easy for her to say, but there’s something Jordan needs to know. Jordan says, before Portia tells her anything, full disclosure. Curtis came to her earlier, and told her what happened at their wedding reception. Portia says, Jordan tried to warn her, and she wants Jordan to know she was right. She kept telling herself that she was trying to protect her daughter – protect her whole family – but in reality, the only one she was protecting was herself. She didn’t want to face the fact that Dr. Portia Robinson, at the top of her profession and respected by her peers, loved by the people who matter the most, is so very far from perfect. In fact, she’s a coward. Jordan says, that’s simply not true.

Michael says, Wiley decided to take a nap, and Willow suggests they take advantage of the quiet. Sasha says, they’re trying to decide between orchids and roses, and he says, why not both? Sasha says, that’s why he’s a CEO, and he says, he’s also a dad. Not that Amelia seems to care. Willow asks if their daughter is giving him a hard time, and he says, it’s that damn mobile above her bed. She’s fascinated with it and can’t stop staring at it. Sasha suggests removing it, but he says, she’ll just start crying, and Willow says, it sounds like she needs a dose of her mommy. She goes upstairs, and Michael tells Sasha not to let Willow limit herself. He wants the wedding to be everything she wants. Sasha says, it’s his wedding too; what does he want? He says he wants what he can’t have – more time.

Obrecht says, if Nina is looking for a donor, look no further, and Nina asks if she’s a match. Obrecht says she doesn’t want them to get ahead of themselves, but she’s been swabbed and had the bloodwork done, and she’s still waiting to hear if she’s a match. That’s why she’s here today. Nina thanks her, and they hug. Nina says, when she found out she wasn’t a match, she was so disappointed. She thought that’s why the universe threw her and Willow together; so she could help save Willow’s life. She felt so helpless. Obrecht says, that’s one of the reasons she volunteered, and Scotty joins them, asking Obrecht to tell Nina the other reason. Obrecht says, if it turns out that she’s a match and can save Willow’s life when Carly’s silence almost killed her, that will be sweet revenge. Scotty says, that’s my girl.

Ava says, that explains why Nikolas vanished into thin air. If he sensed Elizabeth was going to confess, she couldn’t do it without implicating him. He must have felt the walls were closing in and just run. Austin says he’s so sorry. It must be agonizing realizing the man she thought she knew inside and out was keeping that poor pregnant girl prisoner. She tells him, let’s not go overboard; Esme is no saint. But no one deserves to be locked in a tower. Dante asks, who said anything about a tower? and Ava says she just remembered that for the last few months, Nikolas said the north tower was off-limits, even to the staff, so it makes sense. Where else could he have been hiding Esme? Dante says, they checked the tower once already. It had been painted and cleaned, and it looked like Nikolas was trying to cover his tracks. His phone rings, and he tells them, don’t touch anything; he’ll be right there. Ava asks if something was found, but he says he doesn’t know yet, and leaves.

Trina tells Curtis that she’s not trying to be selfish. She’s sure it’s complicated for everyone and her dad has some questions of his own. Is it fair to him, wondering if or when the truth will eventually come out? Or say there’s some random medical emergency? Curtis says, is it fair to Taggert? and Trina says, the only thing that matters to her is, she loves her dad, and knows her dad loves her. He says he doesn’t want that to change. If there’s one thing this family has learned… Trina says she knows the end of the sentence; it’s the not knowing that will cause the real damage. He says he’s not going to lie. He wants to know the real truth, but he’s not going to push. It’s her call. So what does she want to do?

Portia says, Jordan has been warning her to come clean to Curtis for months, and now Jordan is defending her? Jordan tells her, she’s just saying Portia isn’t a coward. She had valid reasons for keeping her secret. She was protecting herself, but also protecting Trina and Taggert, even Curtis in a way. Portia’s a good person who puts her family first. Portia says, even though she chose to ignore Jordan’s warnings, but Jordan says, Portia had reasons to doubt her motives. She might have done the same in Portia’s place, but believe it or not, she was trying to spare Portia the kind of pain she’s dealing with now. Portia says she knows that, but what she doesn’t know is if there’s anything she can do to make the situation better.

Sasha says, if she could give Michael more time with Willow, she would do it in a heartbeat. She knows how he feels. Not a day goes by when she doesn’t wish she could hold Liam in her arms again, or get a glimpse of Brando and that epic smile when he’s changing a tire in his garage. Michael says he’s sorry for not checking in with her more often, but she says, don’t be. They all suffer their burdens, and most days she manages to put one foot in front of the other. It’s almost like she’s dancing with Brando. He says, Willow wants him to dance with her at the wedding, and she says, then that’s what he has to do. He says, even if it’s their last dance? when Willow comes back, saying, mission accomplished. Amelia’s asleep… What did she miss?

Nina wants to check with Terry and see if they can’t put a rush on the results, but Obrecht says, Terry knows she’s here. While they’re waiting, she suggests Scotty distract them with Elizabeth’s legal troubles, but he says, it’s no big deal really. The cops are questioning anybody and everybody about the whereabouts of Nikolas. Obrecht asks what angelic Elizabeth can tell the police about Nikolas’s nefarious dealings, and he says, they’re old friends… at least before. Obrecht says, before what? and Nina says, they have more important things to worry about, like the test results. Obrecht says she’s as anxious as Nina, and asks why Scotty won’t look at her. What legal trouble did he handle for Elizabeth?

Elizabeth tells Finn, of course (🍷) she’s grateful that Scotty cut a deal for her. She’s not going to prison and she’s not going to derail her boys’ lives. He asks what she’s worried about, and she says, the police can’t sit on the story forever, and when it comes out… He says, she’ll deal with it. The one positive that’s come out of this is how she’s handled the whole ordeal. There might have been a time she needed to lean on someone, but he didn’t do her justice.

Ava tells Austin, maybe she should take Avery and run. They practically gave her a medal for her part in taking Ryan down. When they find out what happened to Nikolas, they’ll reinstate the death penalty because Victor will make sure she’s dead. Her phone rings, and it’s Dante. He asks if she and the doctor could join him down here. She says, certainly, and asks where he is. He says, the tack room, and she looks at Austin. A lot of that going around today.

Trina says she loves her dad, and she’s come to love Curtis too; it’s just different. He says, okay. If she decides to take the test down the road, let him know. He opens the door, and she says she just wants to make one thing clear. No matter what the test says… He says, Taggert will always be her father, she nods, and he leaves.

Portia says she’s dreaded having this talk, but now that she and Jordan have had it… you know. Jordan says she feels the same. Don’t lose hope. The lies that cost Jordan her marriage, was her choosing to put her job before her family. Portia chose family over everything, and one day, Curtis and Trina will see that. She leaves.

Sasha says, Michael was just telling her that he didn’t want to step on Willow’s toes at the reception, so she told him to stop making excuses and take some dancing lessons. Willow says, so Sasha went for some tough love, and Sasha says, the best kind. She needs to get started on the arrangements they discussed. Michael thanks her, and she tells him, you take care of Willow, and I’ll take care of everything else. Michael fusses over Willow, and Sasha watches them for a moment. She looks at the necklace in her hand, and leaves.

Scotty says, Nina’s right. They should concern themselves with the test results. Obrecht says, agreed, but why does she sense he’s keeping something from her? What has Elizabeth done? He says, to be clear, it’s not Elizabeth, it’s Nikolas, and Nina says, what about those results? Obrecht asks, what did Nikolas do? and Scotty says, it’s going to come out sooner or later. Nikolas held Esme hostage in the tower at Windymere. He thought she was The Hook killer. She says, Nikolas isn’t his client. How does he know this? He says, Elizabeth helped him, even though they knew Esme was not The Hook killer.

Elizabeth says she’s grateful to Finn for everything he’s done for her, and respecting her choice to come forward. Even though she’s very nervous about the fallout to come, she knows she can face it. It’s a million times better than living in fear, waiting to be exposed. He says he respects the choice she made, and whatever comes, he’s with her all the way. She thanks him, and says she’s excited to get back to work. She starts to walk down the hall, but Obrecht storms up to her, followed by Scotty and Nina, and asks where Elizabeth thinks she’s going.

Ava and Austin arrive at the tack room, and Dante thanks them for coming like he’s hosting a party. He asks Ava if she knows what’s behind the padlocked door, but she says, no; she doesn’t spend a lot of time here. She thinks it’s just for storage. He says, Nikolas’s personal, effects, documents, stuff like that? but she says she thinks if Nikolas kept anything important in there, he would have removed it before she took possession of the house. Austin asks why they’re here. It seems like a waste of time. Dante says, the door has a padlock on it. Does she have a key? She says she’s sure there’s a key, but she doesn’t have it, and Dante asks an officer for the crowbar. Dante takes it, and walks to the door.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth says, if Finn stands by her, he’s going to be caught in the crossfire; TJ has important news; and Obrecht says, you reap what you sow.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

The guys get home from guys night pretty drunk. Louie told Teresa that he’d brought up what Joe #2 had said about them on social media, and it got heated. She said, Louie’s family was so wonderful to her, and hers was causing this circus. Teresa is a circus unto herself.

Melissa stopped by the new house Joe #2 is constructing, and asked about guys night. Joe said, Louie brought up the podcast, and Melissa said, they’d helped out when Teresa was in prison. Juicy Joe needed someone to film with, and they were there. We flash back to that, and in Melissa’s interview, she said, when the family was down, they stepped up. Now twist it, string it out, and throw it the wrong way. Joe #2 said, Teresa kicked out everything on their side.

Teresa told Louie that she was embarrassed that Joe #2 told him to go f*** himself. How dare he? Louie said, Joe was pissed about Melissa’s family not being invited, and Teresa said, if she hadn’t put Melissa in the wedding party, why would she invite them? To his credit, Louie said, Melissa’s parents had a relationship with her parents, but Teresa countered this with the nonsensical question of, then why didn’t Joe invite Louie’s family to Antonia’s 16^th birthday party? In Joe #2’s interview, he said, since Teresa met Louie, he didn’t feel welcome in her new life, and it bothered him. Louie said he felt bad that Joe was in pain. He thought Joe missed his sister. Teresa whined that Joe was hurting her, and Louie suggested making peace. She said she’d call and ask if he was coming to their housewarming party. She wants to be in her love bubble. We saw a clip of her telling everyone that she’s having a love bubble housewarming, and she called Joe. Louie wrote something down and showed her, and she said she wanted to make peace. Joe said it was a done deal, and she asked if he wanted to talk about anything. He said he just wanted to move forward, and Teresa said, her therapist told her, it was no good to talk about the past. You don’t get anywhere. I guess it isn’t the kind of therapy where you blame everything on your parents. Louie pointed to the pad again, and she asked if Joe was coming to her party. He said he didn’t know, and afterward, Louie said, baby steps.

Dolores’s mom Valerie came over, and Dolores asked if Valerie was being careful with her diet, since she didn’t want heart surgery again. She asked what Valerie had for breakfast, and Valerie said, cake. In Dolores’s interview, she said, her mom was God fearing and set in her ways. So she’s not arguing anymore. She told Valerie that Paulie had met the guys, but Frank hadn’t been there since he was in the hospital. She said, everyone loved Paulie, and Frankie said, Paulie was protective. Valerie asked what was going on with Paulie and Frank, but Dolores said that Frank took it personally when Paulie said he was taking over as the man in her life. He didn’t want a relationship with her and Frank. They didn’t have to be friends, just get along. In her interview, Dolores said, family was always a priority, and it included Frank. She’d wanted them to be close, but now her family and relationship was with Paulie. Frank would get over it.

Bill and Jennifer went out to dinner. It was raining, and Bill said, summer in Jersey; you get whatever comes. Yep, he’s right, but it’s more like all year round. Whoever first said, if you don’t like the weather, wait a minute, lived here. Jennifer said she was getting Justin a party bus for prom, and Bill said, she created a monster. In Jennifer’s interview, she said, Bill thought she spoiled the kids, but they’d had a rough year because of what he’d done. If they want a bus, they get a bus. Jennifer said it was easy for Bill to use her as a scapegoat, and Bill said he tried to diffuse situations she was in. She asked why he could never see it from her side. She felt like he took her love for granted. She always forgives him, and instead of backing her up, he only says things in rebuttal to what she’s said, not her opponent. Bill asked if she only wanted things on her terms, and in her interview, she said she needed someone to support her and be there, and she didn’t always feel it. It wasn’t okay anymore.

Rachel met with Marge’s (and Housewives) friend Jen, and in Rachel’s interview, she said she felt like she knew Jen from another life; they’d immediately clicked. In Jen’s interview, she said she and Rachel were kindred spirits. Rachel was an old soul, and she was sucked in by Rachel’s sweetness. Rachel told Jen, it was constant drama with the women. RIP the mozzarella that wasn’t consumed. Jen said, she consumed it, and we flashed back to her stuffing her face with cheese. As I would. She said she saw Marge and Jennifer yelling at each other, and heard Jennifer talking about Rachel’s nose. Rachel said she wasn’t offended; she’s an open book. Jen said that Rachel was a better woman than her. She would have told Jennifer, f*** you. Rachel said, Jennifer had called her, and hoped she hadn’t offended her; she’d been unhappy with her own results. Then she segued into talking about Dolores. She didn’t think Jennifer realized they were friendly. She’d known Frank and Britt for ten years. She told Jennifer that she didn’t want any part of this, but Jennifer said she was just giving the history. Jen told Rachel that Jennifer had called her too. She claimed she wanted a marriage therapy referral, and then badmouthed Marge. She said, Marge was jealous. Rachel said, of what? but Jen didn’t know. In Jen’s interview, she said, Jennifer thought she had big balls. Like she was going to switch teams, and dump her bestie. She’d been friends with Marge for three years. In Rachel’s interview, she said she didn’t want to hear about it or participate. It brought her back to high school. Her mom always said, if someone is waving a red flag, a parade is coming, and Jennifer was waving a red flag.

Dolores met Marge to shop for a housewarming gift, and Dolores said, Frank told her what had happened on guys night. Joe #2 was upset because Teresa hadn’t invited Melissa’s parent to the wedding. They called Melissa, who said, her husband lost his sh*t. Teresa has known her mother and sisters forever. He didn’t want to come to the housewarming, but she wanted him to go, listen to what Teresa has to say, accept it for what it is, and move on. Dolores said, you never know, but she wasn’t specific about what we never know.

No surprise, the housewarming party was over-the-top, including a dancer inside a bubble in the pool, and lots of love bubble kitsch. Joe called Melissa, who was getting her makeup done, and said he couldn’t go. He’d already texted Teresa; he wasn’t ready to come. In his interview, he says, Teresa didn’t want him there, and it feels like a game. It was the worst feeling coming from his own family. He’d be uncomfortable and couldn’t fake it. Louie told Teresa that he felt sad, and she said she did too. Joe was missing milestones in their life, like the housewarming and her 50^th birthday. In Teresa’s interview, she said, it was no after no, and told the girls about him canceling, adding that he’d brought up Melissa’s family not being invited to the wedding on guys night. Joe said he needed to get over it. He would never have what he thought he would. His sister does what makes her happy, and that means keeping the family away. He told Melissa to go and have a good time, but in her interview, Melissa’s said, it’s just the next thing for Teresa to hold over her head and make Joe the bad guy, but she wanted to keep the peace.

Danielle said she loved the vibe at the party. Evan and Jackie were there, and Marge said, Jennifer had been up Jen’s ass talking sh*t about her. We saw a clip of that, and Marge said, talking about therapy turned into talking about her. In Marge’s interview, she said, Jennifer was a professional victim. She wanted the attention she didn’t get at home. Did she think Jen wasn’t going to tell her? In Jennifer’s interview, she said, Melissa coming to the party without Joe was making a clear statement. He’s a drama queen. Teresa said, the girls hadn’t seen Joe in six months, and in Danielle’s interview, she said, you’d have to be blind, deaf and mute not to see the connection between her situation with her brother. Once too much time passes, that’s it. She hoped they didn’t make the same mistake. Rachel told Dolores that Frank missed her and the old dynamic, but Dolores said she was 52 years old and had taken care of everyone. It was time to worry about herself. Paulie didn’t want Frank to be the man in her life, and if that meant they had to be separate in some things, everyone needed to get over it. Gia said she missed Melissa’s kids, and in her interview, she said, every time Teresa and Joe had drama, the kids were separated. In Melissa’s interview, she said, it was sad. She loved them, and knew they had hate for her and Joe. She wouldn’t wish the situation on anybody. Dude, I would have moved on ages ago. Then again, I wasn’t born into a big Italian family. Although I do have an Italian family by marriage to my aunt.

Louie thanked everybody for coming. Not just friends and family, but those who gave them loving support. Teresa said, their chosen family. Everyone there was special and they loved them, and they wouldn’t want to be celebrating with anyone but them. In Melissa’s interview, she said she didn’t appreciate Teresa’s chosen family remark, especially with Joe not being there. But if she brought it up, Teresa would just say she didn’t mean it that way. Think before you speak. She knows it’s hard. Melissa said Joe wasn’t here, and Teresa was his only family member. She slipped out to have a cry, and in her interview, she said she tried to be strong for Joe, but she had her own breaking point. She didn’t get why the subtle digs, things like chosen family. What about the ones who had been there for years? It meant nothing to Teresa, and she knew Joe would be upset. The sprinklers went on, and the guys said, Louie had one job… Melissa said she wanted to be honest with Jackie – and you know when a Housewife says honest, it’s an excuse to gossip. She’d been talking to Danielle about the mozzarella party, and told Danielle that Jackie had insulted her shorts and said they looked like they’d come out of the hamper. Jackie said she didn’t care. Danielle was a horrible dresser, and she wore those shorts two weeks in a row. I guess Jackie doesn’t have a favorite anything? Geez. She should see what I wear on repeat. Danielle’s antennae went up, and she jetted over. Jackie insisted she never looked Danielle up and down, but we flashed back, and yeah, she did. In Danielle’s interview, she said, maybe Jackie didn’t realize how judgy she was. Her hands were going all over the place as she talked, and Jackie told Danielle to get her hands out of her face. Danielle said, Jackie was from Staten Island, and she would know if Danielle was coming for her. Jackie told Danielle to leave her hands out of her space. If I’m sorry can’t leave your mouth, then f*** off. Marge said she was offended be Jennifer calling Jen and bitching about her. Jennifer insisted she’d just called for a marriage counselor referral, and in Jennifer’s interview, she said, when they were on the call, Jen did not defend Marge. It’s called not engaging, Jennifer. You should try it sometime. Marge said, Jennifer had called her jealous, but Jennifer said she never said that. She’d told Jen that Marge was threatened by her. She’d wanted Jen to know the context of their history. No surprise, Marge called Jen over, and Jen told Jennifer that she hadn’t said Jennifer called specifically for that, but the conversation morphed. Marge wondered how she and Jennifer were supposed to move forward if Jennifer kept holding a grudge. Sounding like a character from Hamilton, Jennifer said she was allowed to state the facts of the matter. Rachel said, Jennifer did the same thing with her, and talked sh*t about Dolores. Jennifer stamped her foot and said she was giving Rachel context, but Rachel said, it wasn’t a history lesson. Jennifer called her a f***ing idiot, and Rachel told her to watch her mouth. Jennifer called Dolores an idiot too, and in Dolores’s interview, she wondered where this was coming from, and if Jennifer was out of her f***ing mind. Jennifer started winding up, and Jackie said, if she wanted to get her point across, she’d better calm down. Jennifer said she was sorry she spoke about Rachel’s nose job, but Dolores had offended her. Dolores said, Jennifer just left the house without talking about what happened, and Teresa said, Dolores was never going to take sides. Rachel said this was not what she wanted to be a part of, and Jennifer said, give her a medal. So much for apologies. In Rachel’s interview, she said she could give two sh*ts about what comes out of Jennifer’s mouth. It’s giving someone power, and Jennifer would never have that over her. Rachel said she was leaving, and Jennifer (even though it wasn’t her party) said, don’t let the door hit her on the way out. Rachel pointed out that there was no door, since they were outside. Jennifer had no f***ing class. Jennifer called Rachel a f***ing idiot again since she’d run out of words.

Next time, Valentina’s party; Teresa tries on her wedding dress; and Marge and Jennifer argue.

🙃 Yes, No, Maybe, I Don’t Know…

Tomorrow is VanderDay, so join me for some soap and Rules. Until then, stay safe, stay not being the first to arrive or the last to leave a party, and stay facing the fallout. It’s a million times better than living in fear, waiting to be exposed.