What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Peter lies unconscious on a stair landing, blood pooling around his head, and the fake passports for him and Maxie next to him. Someone in scrubs runs down the stairs. They check his neck for a pulse.
Three hours earlier. Brook looks at a list and says, Maxie’s list of must have items. Let’s see if she has them all. Diapers, check; extra bedsheets, yes; receiving blanket – she doesn’t even know what it is, but she has it – bag of ice, thermometer, rubbing alcohol, yes. Duct tape… Duct tape? Maxie’s really going to have to explain that one. She reads, once you’ve assembled your supplies, you have everything you need for a happy, healthy home birth. Everything except a mommy. Where are you, Maxie?
Austin tells Maxie, she’s here, and she’s beautiful. Maxie asks if he can hold the baby up so she can see her. He looks concerned, and reaches into his bag for a towel. Maxie says, Austin? What’s wrong? Why isn’t she crying? He rubs the wrapped bundle in his arms, and says, please. He said hi; can she say hi back? Louise starts to cry, and Maxie says, thank God. It’s the best sound she’s ever heard. I understood this because when my dog’s puppies were born, I freaked because she looked like she was tossing one around like a football, but my husband said she was just trying to get the baby started. And she did. Six of them. They’re 14 now.
Finn looks through his microscope, when Elizabeth comes in. She tells him that he needs to take a break. Go home and get some rest. He says he can’t stop until he finds an antidote for the toxin. If they were doing this properly, there would be dozens of people working around the clock. Instead, it’s just him. What if he’s not capable of solving this in time to save Chase? Elizabeth says she watched him cure Hayden when she was exposed to Blackwood’s. He managed to save her sister. He’ll do it again; she has faith in him. He appreciates the vote of confidence, but says, it’s going to take a lot more than faith. Anna comes to the door, and says she came straight from the airport. She hopes she’s not too late.
Willow brings Chase into the mansion, and tells him to sit down and rest. She thinks he’s pushing himself too hard too fast. He says, not at all. The fresh air did more for him than all the doctors and nurses at GH. She tells him not to let Finn hear him say that, and he says he knows Finn is working overtime to find out what’s wrong with him. He just wishes Finn would be honest with him about what he actually has, or how he got it. He sways a little, and Willow says she’s got him. Michael comes in, and asks if Chase is okay. Chase looks at Willow, and says, never better.
At the Savoy, Curtis is on the phone finding out the status of his liquor license. He asks if they can expedite it. Not just for his benefit, but for the benefit of his hard-working staff who would like to get to work… Good. He turns around to see Portia, and says he’s pushy and impatient, but she says, not at all. He’s the owner of what’s going to be the swankiest, sexiest hot-spot this town has ever seen. He says, okay. For that, can he offer the lady a drink? She says she could definitely use a drink. She just got a glimpse of the dangerous world he left behind.
Sasha comes out of the hospital elevator, accompanied by a bodyguard. Brando comes over to her, and asks what she’s doing there. He thought Carly had her in a safe place. She says, see this guy? Her very own personal bodyguard, courtesy of Carly. As soon as she heard about the shooting at the warehouse, she knew she had to come. Was he involved? He says he was, but he’s fine. His mother was shot, and is in surgery right now. She says, Gladys was shot? Why? Jordan has joined them, along with Dante, and she says, that’s a good question. She and Dante would also like to hear his answer. Dante says why doesn’t he just tell them were his boss Cyrus is?
Carly tells Cyrus, no! and Cyrus says, this was her big plan? To set up an ambush with this fool? She says she doesn’t know why Nikolas is there, but they had a deal. Cyrus says, she blew the deal. He and her friend are leaving, and she’ll be seeing Spinelli again in pieces. She says he’s not taking Spinelli anywhere, but Cyrus tells his guys to put Spinelli back in the truck. Jason magically appears, aiming his gun at Cyrus, and says, let Spinelli go, or he drops Cyrus.
On the phone, Brook tells Maxie, she’s at the house in Beecher’s Corners, but she hasn’t heard from Maxie since she left for the spa. Was she able to ditch her private nurse, and is Bobbie going to meet them? Call her on the burner.
Austin hands baby Louise to Maxie, who says, hi. She tells Louise that she looks perfect in every way. She has no idea how happy Maxie is to be holding her in her arms, and to count her ten little fingers, and ten little toes. She says she doesn’t even know how to thank Austin, and he says, she just did. She says, here she is, stumbling through the woods, and she runs into a doctor, looking like a half-naked mountain man. Austin laughs, and says he’s so glad she did. Now that he has a minute, he’s going to try and get some cell service. He wants to call an ambulance. She says Austin can’t do that. Peter might find them.
Elizabeth offers to leave, but Finn says she can stay. He tells Anna that Elizabeth knows everything. She knows that Peter was responsible for the toxin that was intended for him, but wound up in Chase. Elizabeth says, it all comes back to Peter, doesn’t it? If only people hadn’t covered for him. If only he hadn’t been coddled so much, Chase’s life wouldn’t be hanging by a thread, Jason wouldn’t be on the run, and Franco would still be alive. Anna says she’s not going to try to justify or explain any of her past actions. Quite frankly, it’s too late for that. What she does want to do is urge them to act fast. Valentin believes Peter is planning on leaving Port Charles. Finn says, and the drug that’s keeping Chase alive will be leaving with him. Anna reaches in her bag, and pulls out a folder. She says she’s hoping her trip to Ireland can help him in some way. She hands the folder to Finn, and says, consider this a gift from the late, great Sean Donely.
Willow says Chase needs to sit down and rest, and brings him into the living room. He sits, and she says she’s going to the kitchen to get him something to eat. Michael says she’s right; Chase needs to keep up his strength. Chase says he still can’t believe he lives in a mansion with actual staff, and Willow says, it can be intimidating; there are so many rooms. She was lost at first, but eventually found her way. She looks at Michael, who says he’ll help her find something to eat, and Chase says he could go for something simple, like pizza. It will make him feel normal again. Michael says Chase is in luck, because their kitchen has a pizza oven. He and Willow leave, and Michael closes the door behind them. In the foyer, Willow says, having Chase there is going to be harder than she thought, but until he’s out of the woods… Michael says they have to help and support Chase until he gets well. They head for the kitchen, and in the living room, Chase tries to get up, but falls back down on the couch. He says, just relax; you’re not dizzy.
Curtis says, while he pours this drink, Portia can tell him about her brush with violence, unless she’d rather not. She says she thinks talking about it might actually help him. He knows Brando, right? He says, Sonny’s cousin, Cyrus’s driver. She says she doesn’t think he’s going to be Cyrus’s driver anymore; not after tonight. He asks, what happened? and she says, Brando’s mother was shot in some sort of gangland battle. Brando couldn’t wait for the ambulance, so he carried her, bleeding, into General Hospital. Portia was the attending, and she rushed Gladys into a cubicle, and got her into the OR. One of their best surgeons was on duty, and she’s operating as they speak. He says, and she reported all this to the cops? She says, it’s the law. He’s not the only one who thought he moved on. When she divorced Taggert, she thought she was done with that world, but it doesn’t matter. It seems like no matter what she does, it follows her wherever she goes. He takes her hand, and says, it seems it does.
Brando says he doesn’t work for Cyrus anymore, and Jordan asks when he offered Cyrus his resignation. Sasha tells Brando, he doesn’t have to say anything without a lawyer present, and Jordan says, she’s right. They can go down to the station, and he can answer all of their questions there. Brando says he’s not going anywhere until his mother is out of surgery, and Jordan says she’s sorry his mother was injured, so please, try to help her understand. There was a shootout at a warehouse a few hours ago. Two known associates of the Renault organization were killed. Sasha says, none of that proves Brando was involved, but Brando tells her, it’s okay. She’s not involved in any part of this. She says, too late. That train has left the station. Jordan asks Brando how Gladys managed to get caught in the crossfire, and he says, Cyrus abducted her. He didn’t want her to recant her statement saying Jason ditched the gun that killed Franco. He asked Brando to pick up a package, and deliver it to the warehouse. His mother was already there. Cyrus was planning to kill them both. Jordan asks what Brando did to get Cyrus to turn on him, and Sasha says, that would be where she comes in.
Cyrus says he thinks he’ll keep Spinelli, as a guarantee he gets out of there alive. Two of Cyrus’s men draw their guns on Jason, but Jason shoots them both. In the confusion, Spinelli runs away from Cyrus, and over to the other side of the pier. Cyrus draws his gun, and there’s a bunch of shooting. Jason gets Cyrus in the shoulder, and Cyrus runs. Jason shoots one of Cyrus’s guys, tells Carly, stay down, and goes after Cyrus. A couple of Carly’s men follow him.
Jason comes back, and Nikolas says, Cyrus got away? Jason says, looks like it. Carly hugs Jason, and he tells her that when he said stay down, he meant until it was safe. She says it looks safe to her.
Jordan says Sasha is the reason Cyrus turned on Brando? Why? Sasha says, Cyrus once had a romantic interest in her, which she didn’t return. When he found out she got pregnant by his driver, let’s just say Cyrus’s fragile ego got bruised. Cyrus isn’t a good loser. Brando says, then Cyrus gave him a loyalty test; either kill his own mother, or Sasha would suffer. Sasha looks at him, and he says, that’s when all hell broke loose. Shots were fired, he tried to protect his mom, and in the craziness of it all, Cyrus got away. That’s when he realized his mom got hit, and he rushed her there. Sasha says, they can see how worried Brando is, right? Can this be enough for now? Dante says, for now, yeah. He does hope Brando’s mother makes a full recovery. Brando thanks them, and he and Sasha go to the waiting area and sit. Dante tells Jordan, if Gladys admits she lied about Jason, and that Cyrus paid her, they have her on perjury and obstruction… She says, the DA is way ahead of him. Robert and Diane are in the process of hammering out a deal for Gladys in exchange for her testimony. That’s when they got word about the shooting at the warehouse. He says, so Gladys is a target. As long as Cyrus is running around free, they have to protect her. She says she’ll make sure Gladys is guarded when she’s in recovery. In the meantime, based on Brando’s statement, she has more than enough to make an arrest. She’s putting out an APB on Cyrus.
Curtis says he got distracted from the drink he promised Portia, and she says she didn’t just stop by for some good conversation. She wanted to find out if she could book his club for a private party. He wonders if it’s a fundraiser, but she says, no; a graduation party for Trina and her friends. This year has been traumatic, so full of loss and grief, she wanted to do something special and positive for them. He says he likes the sound of that. If it works out, they can use it as a soft opening for The Savoy, before the official opening. He pours them both drinks, and says, it’s kind of fitting that she’s his first customer. Remember when he brought her there on her very first stakeout? She was all for him buying this place. She says, this place looks good on him. She could tell that very first night. He says he likes to think of himself as an optimist. He’s not going to remember last year as the year his life fell apart. Instead, he’ll think of it as the year his good friend stuck by him. It meant a lot to him. They clink glasses.
Willow tells Michael that she thinks Olivia is on to something. Making that pizza was fun, and in an actual pizza oven. She’s never done that before. He says he loved making it with her. Now he’s going to explain to Chase that he gets the rare privilege of eating it in the kitchen. Since his grandmother told the staff to do everything to help Chase, they’re going to take full advantage. She says she doesn’t think having Chase there is going to work, and he says, is she kidding him? They have Valentin there, Charlotte, Brook, the baby is going to be there soon… She says, that’s not what she’s talking about, and he knows it. He’s putting his life on hold. He says, so is she. She and Wiley are his life. If they have to wait until Chase is back on his feet, that’s worth any sacrifice. Chase comes out of the living room, and says he heard them talking just now.
Anna tells Finn, she studied the file all the way back from Ireland, and there are detailed notes in there; formulas. It might not be the exact toxin that poisoned Chase, but possibly they’re related in some way. Elizabeth says if Finn needs her, she’ll be down the hall. She leaves, and Anna says she understands if Finn didn’t want to say anything in front of Elizabeth, but he has to be honest with her. Does he think there’s anything in Sean’s file that could help Chase?
Austin asks Maxie, who is this guy Peter, who she’s so frightened of? Should he be calling the police, or an ambulance? She says, no. She just has to get to Beecher’s Corners. He asks, why Beecher’s Corners? and she says, because someone is waiting there for her, and it’s the only place she and her baby will be safe. He says, awesome. She just had a baby, in the forest, with zero medical supplies, and he thinks it’s important for her welfare to go to the hospital, and the baby’s as well. She says, there’s no time. Please, just take them to Beecher’s Corners. He says he’ll take her wherever she wants, after they swing by the hospital. So he’s going to call an ambulance. He drops to the ground, and Chloe stands behind him with the fireplace poker. She says, Maxie didn’t really think this was over, did she?
Brook takes the fake belly off, and says, when Maxie gets there, after all of her hard work, they’re going to party like it’s 2019, and she’s going to present Maxie’s little girl to Valentin. He’ll love her, and keep her safe, and make sure that lying worm Peter never gets his hands on her.
Maxie says, stay away from us, but Chloe says she doesn’t think Maxie is in any position to be giving orders. Maxie says, what if she killed Austin? and Chloe says, what if she did? He’s expendable. Maxie and her baby are coming back with her to the house. Maxie asks if Peter sent Chloe after them, but Chloe says, does Maxie think she’s going to tell Peter she got away? No way. Maxie says, so he doesn’t know she had the baby, and Chloe says, as soon as she can get cell service he will. Let’s go. Maxie says she just had a baby in the woods. She doesn’t know how Chloe can expect her to… Chloe says she just heard Maxie tell her friend that she had to get to Beecher’s Corners. If Maxie is strong enough for that, she’s strong enough to walk back to the cabin. She’s not asking Maxie again. Maxie says, he’s coming to, and Chloe turns around to look at Austin. Maxie kicks her in the back of the leg, and Chloe drops to the ground. Maxie struggles to her feet, holding her precious bundle, and moves as fast as she can. Chloe says Maxie will pay for that.
Finn tells Anna, maybe something in the file will lead him to creating an antidote, or maybe it will just be another dead end. But if Peter is really leaving town, he doesn’t have time to talk about it. She says she hopes it does some good, and starts to leave, but Finn calls to her. She turns, and he says, thank you. He knows it wasn’t easy to get; he appreciates it. She says it’s the least she can do.
Chase says, that part about getting back on his feet is worth any sacrifice? If he ever doubted Michael’s friendship, he feels foolish for doubting it. He was just so eager to get out of the hospital, it didn’t occur to him what it would cost Michael. The time, the trouble… Michael says, it’s no trouble at all. Chase’s pizza is ready for him to eat in the kitchen. Chase says, nice dodge, but he’s trying to thank Michael. He promises when he’s better, and gets back to his place, he and Willow will never impose on Michael again. Willow says, his pizza is waiting, and when he’s done, he needs to go to bed and get a good night’s sleep. Chase says he’s actually not that hungry now. He weaves a little, and Willow says they have to get him to his room. Chase says he’s fine, but starts to crumple, and Michael catches him before he hits the floor.
Brando tells Sasha that she doesn’t have to stay, but she says she wants to… unless he’d rather be alone. He says he’s glad she’s there.
Jordan says, it’s vital that they get Gladys’s statement on the record, and Dante says, she’s got to make it through surgery first. Jordan’s phone dings, and she tells Dante, there’s been gunfire on the waterfront. Pier 55. Looks like what happened at the warehouse was just the beginning.
Jason asks if Spinelli is okay, and Spinelli says he’s unharmed. Jason? Jason says he’s fine, and Spinelli says his deepest apologies for being taken hostage. He should have been more aware. Carly says she’s just glad he’s okay. Ava runs to Nikolas and hugs him, saying, she heard Cyrus’s men had him. He says, they did, but everything’s going to be okay now. One of Cyrus’s guys starts to come to, and notices his gun next to him. Carly asks what Nikolas was thinking. He ruined everything when he showed up; that was not part of the plan. Cyrus’s guy reaches for his gun. Apparently, Jason isn’t quite as good as he thinks, since even I know it’s a good idea to make sure they’re dead, or at least not leave a gun near them. Hasn’t he ever seen a thriller? Nikolas says he’s not going to apologize. He wasn’t going to stand by and let anything happen to Ava. Ava says he’s infuriating… her hero. She hugs him again, and Carly rolls her eyes. Cyrus’s guy grabs his gun, and Ava thanks Nikolas for wanting to protect her, but she could strangle him for putting himself in danger. He says, she was the one who volunteered to stand in for Gladys as a hostage. She says she was completely safe. She was in a bulletproof car… She thinks it was bulletproof. Carly says she appreciates Ava standing in as a decoy, but Nikolas almost got them killed, so could she get him out of there? Please. Cyrus’s guy lifts his gun to shoot, but gets shot himself. By Dante, who comes onto the scene and sees Jason.
Brando says, it’s good Carly got Sasha a bodyguard to shadow her, and Sasha says, you can never be too careful, right? Brando says, no. Cyrus has always been a dangerous man, and now that the cops have a reason to arrest him, he’ll be even more dangerous. She says she and Cyrus went out a couple of times (they think we have short term memory loss), then he gave her some of his latest product, which nearly killed her. It’s ridiculous how possessive Cyrus feels about her. Brando tells her, he wouldn’t say it was rational, but it’s a fact. He failed Cyrus’s loyalty test, and even worse, he, Cyrus’s lowly driver, got the woman Cyrus was interested in, pregnant. He’s just trying to keep her and their baby safe. She says she appreciates that, but she’s not going to be intimidated by Cyrus. He does not get to dictate how she lives her life, and the way she sees it – she takes his hands – they’re in this together.
Portia says she can’t wait for the club to open, and Curtis says he’s really excited about this newest chapter in his life. She says, when she left the hospital tonight, she was in a really dark place. All she could think about was how close she came to losing Trina, to the same senseless violence that gunned down Gladys. If not for Curtis that night, she honestly doesn’t know… He says he didn’t do anything superhuman or heroic. He just reacted in the moment. She says she doesn’t think he’s giving himself enough credit. Most people run away from danger; he runs toward it. He says, Cameron and Trina were caught in a situation they had no idea how to deal with. He had no choice; he had to protect them. But you know what’s even more exciting? Flash forward one year. He’s even more excited about running a venue where those teenagers can celebrate graduating from high school. She says, either way, it seems like he’s always there for Trina when she needs him. And if she’s being honest, she needs him too. She leans forward, and kisses him.
Michael and Willow bring Chase into the hospital. Finn sees them, and says, wheelchair please. Chase says he told them that they didn’t need to come there. Elizabeth brings the chair and says, they’re just being cautious. She wheels him away, and he says he’s fine. Finn hands Anna the file, and asks her to hold onto it for him. He’ll let her know when he needs it. Willow watches.
Maxie goes as fast as she can through the forest, with Chloe following, limping as fast as she can, and laughing because she’s batsh*t crazy. She says, Maxie will never get away from her. Maxie says she’s doing this for Louise. She comes across a wood pallet, covering a hole that’s quite a drop. Maxie moves some rocks to the edge of it. Chloe catches up, and says she knew Maxie couldn’t get away from her. It’s over. They’re going to do this Peter’s way. Stop making this so difficult, and come with her.
Dante motions the other cops to come forward, and tells Jason to hand over his weapon, nice and slow. He takes Jason’s gun with a handkerchief, and gives it to an officer. He tells the cop to run ballistics on it, and the casualties. See how many came from the gun. Carly says, it was self-defense, and Dante says, secure the area. Get a paramedic down here, and tape off the crime scene. He tells Carly, there have been two shootings tonight; first at the warehouse, and now at the docks. She says, Cyrus is behind them both, and Jason says, he’s already run off, coward that he is. Spinelli says, Cyrus was shot too, so his trail should be easy to follow. Dante says, Cyrus escaped? It looks like Jason might be losing his touch. Ava says, Cyrus threatened her daughter. She needs to go and be with her. Nikolas says, if Dante wants statements from him and his wife, contact their lawyer. Of course (🍷) they’ll give their full cooperation. They leave, and Spinelli says they’ll take their leave too, so Dante can get to his good work. Dante says, Spinelli and Carly can go, but not Jason.
Jordan says she wants to talk to Brando. More shots were fired at Pier 55. It appears that Cyrus has been wounded and is on the run. Sasha asks if this could be true. Is Cyrus finally finished? Brando says he wouldn’t count Cyrus out. Not until he’s six-feet under. He says Jordan still needs his mother to change her statement, right? and Jordan says she does. Unfortunately, if his mother dies, the rest of the case against Cyrus could fall apart.
Portia tells Curtis, she’s sorry. Did she misread things, or… Oh wow. She guesses she did misread things. She’s sorry. She hasn’t eaten, and she’s drinking, and her judgement is off. She’s sorry. He says, she had one cocktail, and didn’t misread anything. He gave her mixed messages. Maybe it’s because he signed the divorce papers. She says she’d better get going, but he says he doesn’t want to leave things like this. She says she’ll get back to him about Trina’s party, and can’t get out of there fast enough.
Finn and Elizabeth get Chase into a bed, and Chase says he’s just a little dizzy; it’s nothing. He wants to go home… wherever that is. Elizabeth says, his blood pressure’s dropping again, and Chase starts to nod out.
Willow asks Michael what he thinks is in the file Anna is reading. He says he doesn’t know, but she’s treating it like the Holy Grail. She says, that’s what Chase needs now – a miracle. Anna looks through the papers in the folder.
Chloe limps toward Maxie, using the poker as a cane, and says, face it. Maxie doesn’t have the strength to outrun her. If she truly cares about that baby, she’ll hand the baby over, go to the cabin, and wait for Peter to come. Maxie says, never. She guesses Chloe doesn’t have any children. Chloe says she doesn’t, not that it’s any business of Maxie’s. Maxie says, if Chloe had children, she’d know that a mother will do anything to protect her child. Chloe is going to have to pry this baby out of her cold, dead hand. Chloe laughs and says that’s fine with her, if Maxie wants to play it that way. Peter can always find another mommy. She might even volunteer for the job herself. Maxie asks if that’s why Chloe is doing this, and starts to back away. Chloe says, stop. She wants that baby. She moves forward, and falls through the wood into the hole.
Maxie peeks into the hole, then picks up Chloe’s phone. She wonders what Brook’s burner number is, and says she knows this. She dials.
Brook lies on the bed, napping, when her phone rings. She says, who’s this? and Maxie says, stop talking; it’s Maxie. Brook asks whose phone Maxie is calling from. Is she okay? Maxie says, no. Please listen to her; there’s no time to explain. She had the baby. The baby is healthy and okay, but she’s in the middle of nowhere. She’s going to send Brook a PIN. She needs Brook to come pick them up. Brook says, none of this is making any sense to her, but Maxie says, please, just come get them. Maxie hangs up, and peeks over the edge again.
Finn tells Anna that he needs her help. Chase needs another dose of the antidote. Go find Peter. She says she’s on it, and leaves. Elizabeth tells Finn that she needs him, and he goes toward Chase’s room, but Willow says, stop. She’s been watching him and Anna; all these looks and coded phrases. Chase believes Finn hasn’t been honest about his condition, so what is Finn keeping from him?
Brando tells Sasha, he’s spent so much time complaining about his mom. She’s too pushy, she’s too blunt, she’s never too shy about putting her two cents in about anything, even when it’s not warranted. He was always thinking negative thoughts about her, never asking himself how he’d feel if he lost her. The truth is, he’d be a little lost. She shaped his life, for better or worse. Sasha says, that’s really lovely. When she’s out of surgery and recovering, make sure he tells her that.
The doctor comes out, and Jordan says she needs to call someone back. Brando gets up, and asks, how’s his mom? The doctor looks serious.
Carly says Dante does realize, none of them would be alive if Jason hadn’t come back. Spinelli says, Cyrus took him hostage, and threatened to dismember him unless Carly met his demands. Dante says he can’t wait to read all about it in their statements. Carly says, instead of wasting time, he should be going after Cyrus; he’s the threat. Jason hasn’t even resisted. Dante says he has an APB out for Cyrus. They’re going to find him. Right now, they both know he has a job to do. Jason says, then do it. Carly starts to protest, but Jason stops her. She says she’ll call Diane. Dante tells Jason that he’s under arrest, and puts handcuffs on Jason, as he reads him his rights.
Outside of Portia’s house, she wonders what she was thinking. She puts the key in the lock, and realizes her door is unlocked. She slowly goes inside, and sees a trail of bloodspots on the floor. She bends down to examine them, and the door closes behind her. She turns to see Cyrus, gun in hand, bloody and disheveled, his ponytail undone. He says, welcome home, Dr. Robinson.
Next week (I think Tuesday), Maxie has a lot to tell Brook, Brando wonders when he can see Gladys, Cyrus says if Portia plays it smart they’ll all walk away alive, and Peter asks if that isn’t why Anna is really there.
👍🏽 Just a thought. Besides never going to crime scene number two, a good rule of thumb is, if you find your door is open, don’t go inside. Get someone, call a cop, call Jason Momoa, but don’t go inside.
🕺🏽 Austin Incarnation…
I thought it was weird that Maxie never mentioned it too.
🏆 Potential Winners…
Ugh. Mike against Cyrus. And Valentin. I guess I have to go with Mike.
🤹♀️ Lotsa Lu…
The Garth Era is over, and The Countess is making up for lost time.
https://pagesix.com/2021/05/21/rhonys-luann-de-lesseps-seen-getting-kiss-from-mystery-man/
https://pagesix.com/2021/05/24/luann-de-lesseps-makes-out-with-mystery-man-in-the-hamptons/
https://screenrant.com/real-housewives-new-york-luann-nfl-player-dating/
📝 Finally Finalized…
If anyone still cares. Maybe Vicki does.
🚩 Another One Bites the Dust…
More like one of those banners small planes fly over the beach.
Erika Jayne’s Co-Author Brian Moylan Reveals “Red Flag” in Her Marriage and How Bravo Tried to Stop Them From Collaborating, Plus He Teases Future Tell-All and Reacts to Divorce
🍳 A Pool In the Kitchen…
I feel like I get the best of both worlds because I can dip my toe in the water, but I don’t really need to stay in the kitchen. Does the term mixed metaphor mean anything to her?
💍 Changed Man…
I can’t believe Raquel stuck it out, but it looks like it’s sticking on James’s end too.
https://people.com/tv/vanderpump-rules-james-kennedy-raquel-leviss-engaged/
☑️ Summing It Up…
I caught Shahs of Sunset very late one night, and it was pretty much all about Mike exchanging sexts and sending d*ck pics. And nowhere the Shahs haven’t been before with him, as he tries to sabotage another relationship.
https://pagesix.com/2021/05/26/shahs-of-sunset-star-mike-shouhed-owns-up-to-sexting-drama/
👗 She’s Got the Look…
The hair is nothing. It’s the beautiful dress I want you to take a look at.
https://pagesix.com/2021/05/26/how-to-get-melissa-gorgas-rhonj-reunion-hair-look/
🏋🏻 Not Exactly a Molehill…
Not quite as mountainous now.
💃🏻 The Queen Shakes Her Derriere…
LVP twerking for TikTok at Tom-Tom. Try saying that three times real fast.
https://pagesix.com/2021/05/20/lisa-vanderpump-tries-to-twerk-on-tiktok-with-tomtom-staffer/
🤾🏽♂️ Quotes of the Week
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. – Eleanor Roosevelt (Oooh, snap!)
I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing. – Plato
The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. – Leo Tolstoy
Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting. – Haruki Murakami
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving. – Terry Pratchett
Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted. – Sylvia Plath
Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness. – Steve Maraboli
I’m in no position to comment. I named my baby Ocean. – Lala Kent, when asked her opinion on Scheana Shay naming her baby Summer Moon Honey
I’ll join this conversation on the proviso that we stop bitching about people, talking about wigs, dresses, bust sizes, penises, drugs, night clubs, and bloody Abba! – Bernadette (Terrence Stamp), Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
❣️ May God bless our troops, past, present & future ❣️
By hero, we tend to mean a heightened man who, more than other men, possesses qualities of courage, loyalty, resourcefulness, charisma, above all, selflessness. He is an example of right behavior; the sort of man who risks his life to protect his society’s values, sacrificing his personal needs for those of the community. – Paul Zweig
👓 Kicking Back…
Since there’s no Dead this weekend, and no new GH on Monday, see you on Deck. Enjoy your long weekend, if applicable, and if not, know that some things might be closed two days from now. Regardless of how you’re looking at May 31st, stay safe, stay behaving responsibly, and stay remembering those who have served our country.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 